By Norah Blucher
I have received several requests for an update on my out and about adventures. While I do not wish to make a habit of reports for all my outings, my second one really marked a change for me, so I will gladly share it with everyone. The outpouring of positive feedback I received from my first outing was unexpected, but really gave me a boost in confidence and I can not thank you all enough for that. It was that boost in confidence that made outing number two so different.
For my second outing, I found myself on fabled Cape Cod, a place I have never been and knew next to nothing about. It was ironically enough, on the same week as FanFair, and while I was tempted to go and visit, it was a bit too far for the time I had and I did not wish to be an intruder at an event I was not registered for. Younger me once crashed a ball at the governor’s mansion, but those days may be over at this point. May is the key word here. I’m not saying definitely.
Besides, I had a specific mission for my outing anyway, as I needed to find a jewelry store to adjust a watchband for me. I can usually do this myself, but this particular one has a solid bracelet portion and some odd and intricate links and screws which are rather difficult to adjust and requires some fitting, so it has sat in my drawer for the past five years, as I never had the nerve to get this done en homme.
I’m always my own worst critic, but this time, I saw nothing but a polished, yet trendy woman staring back at me. This was also my first time trying the ankle booties with a skirt look and I loved the look. This was also the sweater I bought on my first outing. I also did my eyeliner a bit heavier than usual and if you can see, I added powdered foundation to my hair part. I also added a genuine smile, as Paula G suggested, in place of the timid smirk of my first outing. I felt things coming together and was happy and confident in the result.
Cape Cod Mall Here I Come
I made the short drive over to the Cape Cod Mall in Hyannis and was glad it was short as I quickly discovered driving in a corset is not the most comfortable thing in the world. I walked in and despite my high confidence that day, I still felt a bit out of sorts for a few minutes. This is all still sort of new to me, though it did not take long to settle in. My gait was coming naturally, though the click of my heels on the hard floor garnered some glances as I think I was the only shopper without sneakers, but nothing more than that, aside from some bloke with a dust broom who seemed to follow me a bit through. If he only knew who he was following, LOL.
I stopped in a few jewelry stores with my watch and sadly none of them were able to help. As I said, this one required some fitting and many jewelry stores don’t have jewelers on site and send things out. I must say though, that they were all very friendly to me, remarked what a beautiful watch it was and willingly referred me to neighboring competitors who might be able to assist me.
Customer Service En Femme
Not that I have a lot of experience at this time, but so far I have found shopping en femme to be a completely different experience. I stopped in a few clothing stores as well, and found the salespeople different. En homme, I find that sometimes, though rarely, salespeople either avoid me as some sort of deviant in the women’s section or more often, are overly persistent, thinking I am lost and need assistance. En femme, I feel viewed as just any other woman, obviously competent to dress myself and staff are helpful, but without all the curiosity of a male browsing the skirt rack. They may read me, they may not, but either way, there is no doubt I’m there for myself and it seems a natural state of harmony I’m actually much more at ease with.
Success At Last
I had all but given up on my watch, when nearing the far end of the mall, I spied a Zales, and walked in at a last attempt to get it fitted. A young man warmly greeted me and said he could help me. Success at last! Or so I thought as he quickly realized this task was a bit much for him, disappearing through a door and returning with a woman about my age. She was very friendly and clearly knew what she was doing as she moved the watch up and down my arm, asking where I wanted it to sit and if I usually wore other jewelry on my watch arm at the same time. I must admit I felt a bit like a princess holding my arm out receiving this kind of service. She also complemented my bracelet and remarked what small wrists I had. I’m not sure if she meant for a male and I know salespeople lay on the complements, but there was something very genuine about her.
The lady then proceeded to make adjustments while instructing the young man on what she was doing. It was harder than they expected! I roamed the store for 40 minutes looking at all the fabulous things they had and periodically going over to check on their progress or getting called over so they could note an adjustment. As things went on though, I noted that the lady seemed genuinely curious about me, asking where I was from, telling me her name and asking mine. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can “pass” fairly well in passing or a brief hello, but not so much in a prolonged face-to-face conversation. I’ve no doubt she clocked me as a trans something male, but maybe had never had one come to her store.
Whatever the case may be, it was elating to be treated kindly not just as a person, but another female person and it was a very positive interaction which I hope she remembers the next time she meets one of our tribe. As we parted ways, I jokingly told her I would not blame her if she went and had a drink after adjusting that thing, to which she laughed and said the store would frown on that, but she told me to have one for her.
Shop ’Til You Drop!
From there I headed over to TJ Maxx before ending my outing at Target to get some teal nail polish to match a dress I was planning to wear out. Nothing eventful happened at either place, aside from the Target cashier calling me ma’am. I guess I’m not a “miss” any more, but he did look barely old enough to drive and I did look very much a respectable ma’am, so I’ll take it. I’ll tell myself it’s just the glasses.
Still Not Done
Arriving back to my hotel room, I was so elated at another smashing outing en femme and once again did not want the night to be over, but alas, all good things must come to an end. I went to wash up and was suddenly confronted with my mess again.
So back down to the lobby it was and over to the hotel lounge for a glass of zinfandel. The young lady bartending gave me some puzzling looks, which are actually the first I have ever gotten that I’ve noticed. I would not call them disapproving, just skeptical or confused. Anyway, it did not bother me in the least. I was warm and friendly just the same and two other groups were down there and paid me no attention. Just another solo female traveler looking for her wine nightcap for all they cared.
I’ll happily offer to sit with other solo travelers, but do not insert myself in groups, so I wandered over to a comfy chair next to a fish tank. As I sat there toasting to my fabulous day out and watching the fish, I could not help but feel how I used to be just like them. In my own little bowl, looking out at the world that surrounded me, but in my own distinct environment that was foreign to it as well.
I’ve come a long way very quickly. In fact, three days later, when I hit the town for a wild girls night out with some new friends, I felt completely at ease. So much so that I made the six hour drive home the next day, en femme, and in heels the whole way no less, casually making stops along the way.
So there it is, loves. I do fully feel like a truly out and about girl at this point. I’ve many more things to cross off my to-do list for sure, but I’m well on my way and feeling free and happy doing it. I truly appreciate that I am very fortunate and we can not all do this, but if you are one of those whose only obstacle is you, just take the plunge and do it! It is TERRIFYING at first, but that quickly fades and you will be so glad you did.
I hope to run into one of you out and about one day!
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| Wearing Ann Taylor |
