Stuff: Shoes

By J.J. Atwell

A footnote

I talked about measuring yourself here back on August 5th. One of my very dear friends, Kathryn, pointed out that I had left out shoes. Huge mistake on my part. Shoes are such an important part of our femme presentation and finding the right size can be difficult. 

What size am I?

How do you find out what size women’s shoe do you wear? In days of old, when you went to a shoe store, a salesperson waited on you. They would use something called a “Brannock Device” to measure your feet and determine what size you were. Of course, the device was different for men and women because there are differences between men’s and women’s feet. 

You might be able to find a store that still uses these or you could do what Kathryn did and buy a Brannock Device. That might be a bit of overkill for most of us, but it might be a fun thing to bring to your next group meeting. 

Can’t I just add two sizes?

Most of us don’t have a Bannock Device handy, so we follow the usual advice when converting men’s shoe size to women’s: add 1½ to 2 sizes. I’ve found that is a good starting point, but you’ll likely find that you need to move up or down a half or full size. And that will depend on the style of shoe and the manufacturer. That’s right, once again we find that sizes are just a number and that the shoe makers have differing ideas as to what that means. 

Everyone’s feet are different

You’ll often hear people asking what is the most comfortable brand of shoe. In fact, I consulted my good genetic girl friend Alicia about that when I was looking for a nice pair of heels. Her go-to brand is Nine West (Mine, too – Stana). For what it’s worth, she works in an environment where she wears heels regularly, so comfort is really important to her. But you’ll hear many different opinions about what shoes are comfortable. They are all valid. There is no one shoe brand that is the most comfortable for everyone despite what the advertisements might claim. 

Imagine looking for a good pair of walking shoes. Something you can put on and walk several miles in them. Of course, they need to be stylish so that they go with your walking outfit. Where do you start? Look at what others are wearing? Ask your friends? Get advice from a blog? All good places to get some direction about style. But none of them consider the important factor: you. How tall you are. Your weight. How you walk. Your stride. Your gate. The shape of your feet. These are all factors that will affect how well those shoes will support you when you walk. 

And it’s not just the feet

If you’ll be wearing shoes for a long time, you need to have a pair that works for you. Think about those variables for a bit. It seems like it would be impossible to figure in all the possible variations. Fortunately, there is a great solution: trial and error. That’s right, you need to try the shoes on. Hopefully, doing so before you buy them so you avoid future discomfort.

When trying on shoes (be it men’s or women’s), you should try on both shoes and walk around a bit. Pay attention to how they feel on your feet, especially the toes, width and the back of the heel. If they squeeze too much or if they easily slip off, then that’s not the right size for you.   

But wait you say, I’m looking for girl shoes, but I’m in guy mode. I don’t want to out myself in the store by trying them on around civilians. Valid concern. I can give you the standard advice here: don’t pay any attention to the civilians, go ahead and own it. But if that doesn’t work for you and you can’t try them on first, be sure you can easily exchange them. 

I’ll be back

I hope today’s footnote has helped you get to the bottom of your femme presentation. In the meantime, I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments here on Stana’s blog or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Elágia

Iain Armitage femulating in an episode of television‘s Young Sheldon.

Trump’s Transgender Agenda

Donald Trump’s hidden agenda (Project 2025) outlines several policies that will significantly impact transgender individuals if convicted felon Trump is elected president. Here are some key points:

Reduction in Protections – Convicted felon Trump’s agenda will roll back protections established by the 2020 Supreme Court decision in Bostock v. Clayton County, which extended Title VII of the Civil Rights Act to include discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

Gender-Affirming Care – Convicted felon Trump’s agenda will cut federal funding for gender-affirming care for both children and adults. This will limit access to necessary medical treatments and support for transgender individuals.

Legal and Social Recognition – Convicted felon Trump’s agenda equates being transgender to “transgender ideology” and suggests it should be outlawed. This will lead to increased legal and social challenges for transgender people, affecting their ability to live openly and authentically.

Federal Policies – Convicted felon Trump’s agenda encourages the next conservative president to implement policies that favor traditional definitions of gender and family, which will undermining the rights and recognition of transgender individuals.

Convicted felon Trump’s agenda has sparked significant concern and opposition from LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, who argue that such policies will reverse hard-fought progress and harm the transgender community.

Femboys: Future Femulators?

In recent years, the term “femboy” has gained significant traction, particularly through social media platforms like TikTok and Tumblr. But what exactly does it mean to be a femboy and why has this phenomenon become so popular?

A femboy is typically a male or non-binary individual who embraces traditionally feminine behaviors, aesthetics and fashion while identifying as male. This can include wearing makeup, feminine clothing and accessories, as well as adopting softer, more delicate mannerisms. The term itself is a blend of “feminine” and “boy,” highlighting the fusion of gender expressions.

The concept of men adopting feminine traits is not new. Throughout history, various cultures have had different standards for masculinity and femininity. However, the modern femboy phenomenon began to take shape in the 1990s and has since evolved, particularly with the rise of the internet1.

Platforms like TikTok have played a crucial role in popularizing the femboy aesthetic. Hashtags such as #femboyfriday have created communities where individuals can share their looks, experiences and support each other. Influencers and content creators have also contributed to normalizing and celebrating this blend of gender expressions.

One of the most significant impacts of the femboy phenomenon is its challenge to traditional gender norms. Femboys defy the rigid boundaries of what it means to be masculine or feminine, promoting a more fluid and inclusive understanding of gender. This has opened up conversations about gender identity and expression, encouraging acceptance and diversity.

Femboys often incorporate elements of women’s fashion into their wardrobes. This can include skirts, dresses, crop tops and more. The key is not just in the clothing but in how it is styled to create a cohesive look that blends masculine and feminine elements. Accessories like jewelry, nail polish and makeup are also common, adding to the overall aesthetic.

The rise of the femboy has had a broader cultural impact, influencing fashion trends and media representation. It has also sparked discussions about the fluidity of gender and the importance of self-expression. By embracing both masculine and feminine qualities, femboys are helping to break down the binary view of gender and promote a more inclusive society.

The femboy phenomenon is more than just a trend; it is a movement towards greater acceptance and understanding of gender diversity. By challenging traditional norms and celebrating individuality, femboys are paving the way for a more inclusive future. Whether through fashion, behavior, or social media presence, femboys are redefining what it means to express oneself in today’s world.

Adopting female names is a personal choice for many femboys, often reflecting their gender expression and identity. This practice can be empowering and affirming, allowing individuals to align their names with how they feel and present themselves.

There are various reasons for adopting a female name.

Gender Expression – Names can be a significant part of one’s gender expression. Choosing a name that feels right can help femboys express their femininity more authentically.

Personal Identity – A name that resonates with one's identity can boost confidence and self-esteem. It can also help in social interactions, making it easier for others to understand and respect their gender expression.

Community and Belonging – Within LGBTQ+ communities, adopting a name that reflects one's gender identity can foster a sense of belonging and acceptance.

Some femboys prefer names that are traditionally feminine, while others might choose gender-neutral or androgynous names. Ultimately, the choice of name is deeply personal and varies from individual to individual. It’s about finding a name that feels right and represents who they are.

And so it is going.

Wearing Femzai.com

Rose also know as F1NN5TER

Kick Off

 

Wearing Ann Taylor

Tim Dashwood femulating on the Australian stage in Managing Carmen, a 2012 play about a crossdressing football/soccer player.

My wife dresses like a man!

Yes, my wife dresses like a man!

She says that she always dressed like a man, prefers to dress like a man and has no plans to change. But in this day and age, it is embarrassing to be seen out and about with my wife dressed like me.

When we first met, she dressed like a man just like many of her peers. But as more and more women began dressing like women, I assumed that my wife would follow suit. She did not and today, 25 years later, she still dresses like one of the guys.

Her boss has hinted that she may not get job promotions because she dresses like a man, but her boss has not pushed it because the law is on my wife’s side. Still, it would be nice if my wife toed the line, received promotions and increased out family income. But my wife is happy dressing like a man and I won’t try to stop her.

Our friends and acquaintances are accustomed to my wife’s appearance. But strangers find it a little odd when they realize she is really a woman especially since she passes so well as a man. In addition to wearing men’s clothing, she also has her hair cut like a man and wears all the accoutrements that men favor, like jewelry and makeup. She even carries a purse!

Lucky for me we wear different sizes, otherwise she would be raiding my closet. One time, she was so enamored by a new sexy bra I bought at Victoria’s Secret that she insisted trying it on, but it looked ridiculous on her because her boobs are bigger than mine. That put an end to her borrowing my clothing, although occasionally I do let her borrow a pair of my pantyhose.

And so it goes!

(Yes, this story is fiction.)

Wearing Elágia

Femulating in the 1968 documentary film The Queen.

What did you do in the war, Daddy?

Canadian soldiers femulating for a show during World War II

By Paula Gaikowski

“They say war is hell, but have you ever tried wearing a girdle and high heels for a day?"

(The names in this article have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals mentioned.)

Femulate often features photographs from World War I and World War II, including images of prisoners of war and active-duty service members femulating. Some of these portrayals are remarkably authentic. Intrigued, I took a closer look and uncovered some fascinating stories.

The Army’s Special Services division partnered with the USO to develop guidelines for soldier shows. A significant challenge arose due to the wartime prohibition of women in combat areas, necessitating male performers to fill traditionally female parts. This irony was mirrored on the home front, where women, such as Rosie the Riveter, stepped into roles vacated by men who had enlisted.

All-soldier casts proved immensely popular. A special performance of This Is the Army for President Roosevelt drew particular attention, with a reporter noting the President's fascination with a Gypsy Rose Lee impersonator's striptease routine.

Army Special Services units were deemed essential for maintaining troop morale. These units often accompanied troops overseas. To sustain the illusion of female performers, Many of these men adopted female personas both on and off stage, presenting as women when off stage.

Many of the most celebrated performers in these soldier shows were gay men who had honed their craft in the vibrant nightlife of pre-war America. Figures like Liberty Belle, with their impeccable stage presence and undeniable talent, found a unique niche within the military. These individuals, often hailing from the world of vaudeville or burlesque, brought a level of professionalism and sophistication to the productions that elevated them far beyond mere troop entertainment.

While their performances were met with raucous applause and admiration, their personal lives remained shrouded in secrecy. The military, like society at large, was deeply homophobic. Yet, the talent and dedication of these performers were undeniable, creating a complex dynamic. Their homosexuality was often an open secret among their peers, a tacit understanding that allowed them to exist within a hostile environment. 

In contrast to the professional nightclub female impersonators, diminutive and unassuming Dixie Darling emerged from a small town. Younger than his 18 years and with a quiet demeanor, he was plucked from his sheltered life by the draft. Struggling with the rigors of army life, the young and immature Darling found an unexpected escape in Special Services. 

There, for the first time, he donned women's attire, embarking on a journey he never anticipated. Fear of combat, intensified by the traumatic loss of his cousin in the war, fueled his decision to avoid the front lines. While neither gay or transgender, Darling fully immersed himself in this new identity, living and working as a woman for over a year. Complete with long hair, manicured nails, and women's uniforms, his transformation was so convincing that he was often mistaken for a biological female.

 This unique experience granted him a perspective unlike any other, culminating in extraordinary moments such as strolling down the Champs-Élysées in Paris, a vision of femininity in high-heels and a pretty dress. 

"I couldn’t believe I was there, Paris! And there I was, a small-town boy masquerading as a woman, strutting down the Champs-Élysées It was a surreal dream.

The heels clicked-clacked on the pavement, each step a tiny rebellion against everything I'd ever known. The dress, a borrowed treasure from one of the girls, swirled around me, a colorful contradiction to the khaki the army had originally issued. My hair, long and soft now, caught the wind

I was Dixie Darling, not the kid from the farm. I was a mirage of femininity in a world of men. Women I passed offered, friendly nods and smiles, men’s eyes followed me. I felt a heady mix of exhilaration and dread.

Every nerve in my body was alive. What was happening to me? I didn't know. But one thing was certain: I was free. Free from the mud, the guns, the fear. For this one moment I didn’t care what anyone thought. And it was a damn good feeling."

Despite the guilt he carried for avoiding combat, Darling ultimately found a sense of purpose in his role as a performer, contributing to the morale of his fellow soldiers. 

After the war, Darling returned to his pre-war life, marrying and raising a family. To protect his family and reputation, he didn’t speak about his wartime experiences. Yet, the memories of that extraordinary period remained a complex and often contradictory part of his identity. For years, he lived with the weight of his secret, but he now believes it is essential to share his story to shed light on this often-overlooked chapter of history.

Among this mix of performers, individuals like Bonnie Bombshell emerged as emblematic figures. Growing up in the restrictive confines of the 1920s and 1930s, the concept of gender identity was a foreign notion. For Bonnie, the pressure to conform to societal expectations was immense, forcing her to suppress her true self. Yet, the world of entertainment offered a tantalizing glimpse of liberation. Joining the Army Special Services presented an opportunity to explore her femininity openly. The character she created, Bonnie Bombshell, became a shield, protecting her while allowing her to express the woman she longed to be.

Unlike Dixie Darling, whose experience was largely driven by his fear of combat, Bonnie's journey was a deliberate step towards self-discovery. The ability to live as a woman, even temporarily, was a dramatic experience. It provided a sense of belonging and authenticity that she had never known.

Years later, Bonnie found the courage to embrace her true self. In the 1970s, she became one of the pioneering participants in the groundbreaking gender transition program at Johns Hopkins University. This was a time of immense personal courage, as societal understanding and acceptance of transgender individuals were virtually nonexistent. 

These men, and women, who put aside their own personal needs at a time when the whole country banded together, showed that everybody has something to contribute. Their stories are a testament to the human spirit's resilience, courage, and the enduring quest for identity and acceptance. It is important that we honor their legacy by continuing to create a world where diversity is celebrated, and individuals are free to be themselves.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

U.S. soldiers femulating in the play This is the Army by Irving Berlin, circa 1942.

Hair Affairs IV

By Norah Blucher

So once you have found that perfect hairdo to match your stunning personality, you are good to go, right?  Well maybe, but wig care is something you still need to think about to look your best and get the most life out of her and I would certainly hope you are not settling for an off-the-shelf look everyday. Oh no, not if we are going to stay friends here! 

When I was young, I remember being fascinated with hair clips and things like that. I was always fiddling with them and creating crazy styles. Cyndi Lauper was the end-all and be-all in my opinion, if that gives you any idea what I’m talking about. : ) I have since outgrown that, at least while anyone is watching, but after getting my first wig, it was not long before I started accessorizing it. 

She was rather cute, but did have a horrid looking faux skin part on top that I covered up with a headband. And even though I have much better wigs now that look great on their own, I was never one to color between the lines either. I still often like to change things up and accessorize or restyle a bit, be it for looks or practicality. Also, just as you would care for your skin or nails, your hair, even if it is synthetic, will require a bit of maintenance.

Care, Feeding and Other Fun Stuff

Wigs are certainly not cheap and are likely one of the most expensive accessories you own, so you have to take care of what you have so you can get a few in your lineup if you want. Hair accessories and styling can liven up the look of what you have as well. 

Like makeup, no one routine or set of rules works for everyone, but here are some general tips I have learned over the years which have helped me out.

A few things every wig wearer should own are a wig drying stand, a Styrofoam head for storing or styling your wig and a clamp base to clamp the head on a counter or table. If you are a size large or a larger size average, be sure to get the larger “male” foam head. Trust me, it will just work better. Also get a wide-tooth wig comb. Regular combs and brushes are likely to damage the wig fibers with regular use.

I wash my synthetic wigs in a small basin with Woolite. After rinsing, I use a basin with some perfume and dye-free fabric softener as a conditioner. I just wet the hair in it, not the cap, as it could loosen the knots attaching the hair. Then I place it on a drying stand overnight without rinsing and comb it out in the morning. I make no guarantees, but it works great for me, keeps the hair from tangling and also cuts down on the glossy shine that synthetic hair can have. 

Never comb a wet wig and always work from the ends of the hair up. A detangling spray works well in between washes to help things out as well. A holding spray made for wigs can also help hold things in place when you need it. (Stana Notes: For synthetic wigs, use a spray made for wigs as hair spray for natural hair can damage a synthetic wig.) 

I strongly encourage wig caps as well. These are inexpensive little stocking caps made out of a nylon pantyhose-like material. They keep your bio hair neatly tucked in if you have it, keep your wig from chafing your head if you don’t and also provides a base color under your hair part if your wig has one. Most importantly, they keep your wig a little cleaner longer. It is much easier to wash the little cap frequently than the whole wig.

Does your wig fit a bit too snug for your liking? Give it a soak or a wash and place a towel over the foam head and put the wig on the head to dry overnight. It won’t work miracles, but stretches it just a bit.

Hair accessories are a lot of fun to use to achieve different looks with the same wig. Just use extra care so you don’t damage your wig. I love headbands, but use cloth-covered ones with no teeth so I don’t damage the cap. Synthetic hair is also more delicate and does not have the texture that real hair does, so clips can tend to slip, but you can find ones now that have a grippy rubber coating that do a wonderful job.

If your bio hair matches your wig color,or the root color and is not super short or non-existent, you can use the end of a rat tail comb to gently pull some of your bio hair around the edges of your wig to look more natural. This won’t work for everyone, but helps blend things if you can do it.

I add wig clips to almost all of my wigs. One small one on each side tab and one or two larger ones in the back. I like the ones that snap lock and buy them by the bag and sew them in. This firmly secures my wig to my bio hair and keeps it in place as I go about my day or do backflips... as soon as I learn to do a backflip.

If you wear a lace front and/or mono top/mono part wig, take a small brush and apply some powder foundation onto your hair part and the front of the lace to hide the knots and blend the lace into your forehead. A good wig should look natural on its own, but this helps to add a little extra touch of realism.

Use caution if wearing a synthetic wig while cooking, even a heat resistant one. Having your head too close to an open oven or a grill flare-up can quickly cause a bad hair day! Owning more than one wig is never a bad idea for whatever calamity may befall you.

That’s the Topper!

So there you have it. I have so enjoyed sharing my favorite topic with you, and hopefully I have bestowed upon you some new knowledge to go out and get the hair you always wanted, and be the Siren you were born to be! 

Much thanks goes to J.J. Atwell, of “Stuff” fame here on the blog, for her encouragement and assistance with everything. My appreciation goes out to Stana as well, for allowing me some space in her blog and for always encouraging all of us to be our best selves. Questions and comments are always welcome below or e-mail me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me, so don’t be shy.

Wearing leena for Mac Duggal

Rachel celebrating her 75th birthday at Milwaukee’s Pfister Hotel

Hat and Gloves

Wearing a hat and gloves for my
Jackie Kennedy Halloween costume

When I was home alone in the 1960s fine-tuning my female presentation, there were two things that I thought were important to my womanly wardrobe that you seldom see these days. My mother was my model and whenever she dressed up, she wore a hat and gloves – not to fend off the weather, but as fashion accessories. Fashionable hats and gloves were essential accessories for women. These items were not just about style but also about social norms and etiquette.

During the 1940s, 1950s and 1960s, hats were a staple in women's wardrobes. Styles ranged from the elegant pillbox hats popularized by Jacqueline Kennedy to wide-brimmed hats and smaller, more decorative options. Hats were often adorned with ribbons, feathers, and other embellishments, reflecting the wearer's personality and social status. Wearing a hat was considered a sign of respectability and was almost mandatory for formal occasions and church services.

Gloves were equally important. Women wore them to complement their outfits, especially for formal events, social gatherings and  even casual outings. Gloves came in various lengths, from wrist-length to opera-length, and were made from materials like cotton, silk, and leather. They were seen as a symbol of elegance and sophistication.

The decline of these fashion staples began in the 1960s. Several factors contributed to this shift.

Cultural Changes – The 1960s brought significant cultural and social changes. The youthquake movement emphasized individuality and freedom of expression, leading to a more relaxed approach to fashion.

Practicality – As lifestyles became more casual and practical, the need for formal accessories like hats and gloves diminished. Women started prioritizing comfort and convenience over strict fashion rules.

Influence of Icons – Fashion icons and celebrities began to adopt more casual styles, influencing the general public. For example, the rise of casual wear and the popularity of hairstyles that didn't require hats contributed to their decline.

By the late 1960s and early 1970s, hats and gloves had largely fallen out of everyday fashion, becoming more of a niche or occasional accessory rather than a daily necessity.

Personally, I adopted hats and gloves in my wardrobe. My mother had a nice selection of both to choose from including gloves in a variety of colors. But at six feet six in my mother’s 4-inch heels, the low overhead was even lower wearing a hat and I kept losing my hat passing through doorways. So I stopped wearing hats. However, gloves were a perfect fit and I wore them often and I even bought a few pairs myself. 

These days, I seldom wear gloves as a fashion accessory, but I do wear them to fend off the weather.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Long time Femulate.org reader, Mindy

Stuff: Ladies’ Room Etiquette

By J.J. Atwell

When you need to go when you are out

Those of us who go out in public as our girl self will need to answer the call of nature at some point.  When dressed, there are a couple of options, but the most obvious is to use the ladies’ room. I suppose you could use the men’s room, but that might not be safe. You might also look for a companion or single-sex facility, but that might not be an option at the time. 

So what should I know?

It will most likely be cleaner than the men’s rooms you are familiar with. That’s nice. You’ll find a bunch of stalls, a lot of sinks and mirrors. Exactly what you probably expect to find. You might also see a floral arrangement and tissues. There might also be a dispenser for various feminine products. 

Depending on where you are when the need arrises, you might be faced with a line to get in. It shouldn’t come as any surprise to you that women do take longer in the bathroom than guys do. Somehow that fact has escaped the notice of most architects when they design buildings and there are just not enough ladies’ facilities. This is especially true if you are at a sports stadium, theater or concert venue where there is a rush during breaks.  

OK, so there’s a line. Don’t let that bother you. Assume your place in the line and once you get to the front, the next stall is yours. Hang your purse on the hook on the back of the door and sit down to do your business. Once done, double-check to make sure you’ve rearranged your clothing correctly. Step out of the stall and go to the sink to wash your hands and perhaps, inspect your makeup. It might be time to reapply some lipstick. But try not to monopolize the facilities. Others need it, too. Just do a quick check and then go back out the door. And do check out yourself in the full-length mirror to be sure everything is in order.

Respect

Remember, this is traditionally a women‘s-only place. They typically view it as a safe place. You are an interloper. Be polite and considerate. Don’t shake that view for them. 

Sometimes there will be people talking in there while other times it’s silent. My GG friend Alicia says for her it all depends on how many beers or glasses of wine she’s had. 

You might find that somebody starts a conversation with you. Women sometimes talk openly to strangers. They might offer a compliment about your outfit or the color of your dress. A return compliment is always a nice gesture. These conversations are a nice way of giving or getting support. Embrace the occasion, but don’t hold up progress. 

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Stana’s Note: Different jurisdictions in these United States have different laws, regulations  and ordinances regarding males using female bathroom facilities. In some jurisdictions, you can literally end up in jail for sitting to pee. On the other hand, in some jurisdictions, if you present as a lady, than it is OK to use the ladies’ room. At a minimum, you should know what is legal in your home town/county/state, so that you can make an educated choice before entering a ladies’ room. Similarly, you should find out what’s what in any locales you travel to or vacation at. So click here to find out what’s what any place in the USA.)

Wearing Stuart Weitzman (boots)

Paul Lambert femulating on British television’s Emmerdale.

Our Female Future

Wearing Venus

Bob Sagat and David Coulier femulating in an episode of television’s Full House.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Reformation

Philip Seymour Hoffman femulating in the 1999 film Flawless.