Suits Him

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Jorge Chacón, womenswear model

Stuff 26: Some times you feel like a nut…

…Sometimes you don’t

By J.J. Atwell

Remember that commercial for Almond Joy and Mounds candy bars? Well, that applies to writing my Stuff too. Sometimes I feel like writing. Sometimes I don’t. After a fairly dry creative period, the urge to write has returned. And yes, sometimes I do feel like a nut. 

I find it amazing how much Stuff there is in my life. I get inspirations at the oddest of times. Like in the shower. OK, so it is not a pretty sight. We better move on to writing.

Why I Write

Some of you might wonder what prompts me to spend time writing these blog posts. I have a few reasons. First I should explain that writing was very important in my working days. Although I was a bean counter, I had to be good at writing in order to explain what the numbers meant to non bean counters. That meant paying attention to the more technical parts of writing such as proper grammar as well as how to structure sentences and paragraphs to make a persuasive point. Although I’ve been retired for some years, those habits are still with me. So I hope that you understand the points I’m making with my Stuff.

Perhaps a more significant reason I write is on a personal level. Writing about crossdressing gives me a sense of accomplishment and validity. It is actually a form of therapy for me. I get to take all my random thoughts, organize them, and put them down on paper in a logical fashion. It makes that part of my life more real.

I also probably should have become a teacher since I enjoy helping others learn about many things, not just about dressing as a woman. Being old, I’ve had a lot of crossdressing experience and have seen many changes or trends over the years. Some things that were old are new again. So I write about crossdressing experiences to pass along what I’ve learned or observed over the years. I hope reading my Stuff opens your eyes to new crossdressing opportunities. And the courage to pursue them. That’s what Stuff is all about.

I’ll be back

I’m not sure just what kind of schedule I’ll be keeping but I do plan on finding more Stuff to write about. Until then, I’d welcome comments here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Lilla P

WRS and Emilian femulating the “Cell Block Tango” from Chicago on Romanian television’s Te Cunosc De Undeva (Your Face Sound Familiar).

Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Thanks to Dee Kaye for the information about this femulation.

That's What Friends are For

 

Wearing Boston Proper

Rebecca Howe, femulating and winning at the casino

Working Woman

If you have been following along, you know that I crossdressed at work for Halloween seven times. The first two times, the company had a costume contest and encouraged employees to come to work in costume. The last five times, the company was not sponsoring any Halloween events, but that did not stop me and I dressed in “office girl drag” five more Halloweens in a row. And I would have continued the tradition if the company had not offered me an excellent early retirement package in 2017.

Or would I?

During the last few years that I was employed, I was hemming and hawing about working en femme full-time. I had already come out to Human Resources and they were ready to support me whenever I decided to show up dressed as an office girl for real. My manager and her boss were on my side, too and I discovered later that almost everyone in the building was waiting for the other high heel shoe to drop. But I never pulled the trigger.

The main reason was that I thought that I could not sell the idea to my wife. In retrospect, I don’t think it would have come as a surprise to her. I already went out just about everywhere (except work) en femme. And the last few Halloweens, she wondered out loud if my co-workers suspected anything. I told her I had no idea what they thought only to learn later that that ship had already sailed.

If I had not taken early retirement and worked until I was 70, maybe I would have finally pulled the trigger and my Halloween dress-ups would only be quaint memories. Who knows! But I do regret not pulling the trigger when I could have.

(By the way, I was inspired to write this piece by the lady in today's Femulator slot below.)

Wearing Ann Taylor

April Flowers runs her own business en femme with nine people reporting to her and nary a word about her gender from her clients.

He's Just My Style

Wearing Venus

Alex Saxon femulating for television’s Ray Donovan.

He's a “Perfect Size 12”

I am so old that when I was just starting to get my feet wet in heels, a “perfect size 12” was a goal for many woman. Today, I don’t know what size stylish women hope to achieve, but it sure isn't size 12. Today’s size 12 is larger than size 12 of yesteryear. (I even managed to fit into some of today's size 12 dresses!)

Wearing Boston Proper

Vesna Prague, Czech Republic femulator

Thin Woman

Up and at them Thursday morning, I made breakfast and sat down in front of the tv to see what’s new. The tv was tuned to TCM, where I left it Wednesday night. 

I was about to change channels when I saw William Powell in the film that was now playing on TCM. I thought it might be one of the Thin Man flicks, so I pushed the Info button on my remote control to find out what I was watching. 

Turned out that the film was Love Crazy. I thought, “Isn't that the film in which William Powell crossdresses?” I’ve seen photos of his femulation in that film, but never saw the film, so I hung in there despite the fact that the film had less than 30 minutes to go.

As luck would have it, the crossdressing began shortly after I tuned in. Powell's elaborate costume was too good to put together in the short time that passed in the film (he even shaved his mustache!) Despite that, his femulation was very good. His mannerisms were feminine and his voice matched his costume even though he did not change it much from his normal voice. It was the contents of what he said, rather than the sound of what he said that sold his female persona. It was one of the better film femulations that I have ever seen.

Not seeing the film from the beginning, I can’t honestly review it. However, being a Thin Man fan, Love Crazy seemed like another Thin Man film with the humorous give and take between Powell and Myrna Loy. So based on that, I would give it two thumbs up.

Wearing Ann Taylor

William Powell (left) femulating in the 1941 film Love Crazy.
Click here to view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Run Away

Wearing Paige

Nick Sinckler, Kuba Szmajkowski, Marcin Januszkiewicz and Ewelina Flinta impersonate The Pussycat Dolls on Polish television's Twoja twarz brzmi znajomo.

Click here to watch this impersonation on YouTube.

The Voice

As a closeted crossdresser from age 13 to 33, my voice was not important. The only crossdressed interactions I had with civilians was on Halloween. I was not trying to pass, although I often did (“who is the woman not in costume?”), so my male voice made no difference on the crossdressers’ national holiday.

Attending my first support group meeting, I noted that most girls used their male voice, so I fitted in, but the handful of girls who used a femme voice intrigued me. I wanted to be the best crossdresser I could be, so I began investigating how to feminize my voice.

I found Melanie Ann Phillips’ course “Melanie Speaks.” When I purchased the course, it was only available in VHS format, so I dubbed the audio to a cassette tape and played it every day on my commute to and from work.

At first, I was disappointed ― my voice still sounded the same and nothing like Melanie Ann Phillips’ perfect femme voice. But one day after about three weeks in, this fabulous femme voice came from my lips. I was shocked and could not believe that voice was coming from me!

However, I felt uncomfortable using my femme voice. Whereas all the other accoutrements of crossdressing, the dress, high heels, makeup, wig, handbag, were real to me, the voice felt fake and I was loathe to use it especially since my normal voice seldom gave me away. 

For example, there was my first Halloween at work en femme when I ran my pantyhose. Femulating fanatic that I am, I drove to nearby CVS to buy a new pair. I entered the store and to avoid causing a commotion, I went to the first saleswoman I saw and explained that I ran the pantyhose of my Halloween costume and needed a new pair.

“Hosiery is in aisle eight, Ma’am,” she replied, unfazed by my Halloween costume hint.

I guess I was not going to cause a commotion, so I went to aisle eight, picked out a pair, then I went to the register where the same saleswoman rang me up without a clue.

The amazing thing is I never used my femme voice in CVS. I spoke in my normal male voice, which is admittedly soft-spoken, but definitely male. I guess the saleswoman’s eyes convinced her that I was a woman no matter what clues her ears might be picking up.

Moments like that convinced me to discard my femme voice, use my normal voice and damn the torpedoes.

(Click here to hear my voice on YouTube. I start speaking at the 6:39 mark.)

Wearing Boston Proper

The different shades of Rachel

His other hobby is drag racing

Wearing Versace bag, Sister Jane dress and Tod’s pumps

Femulating Russian soldiers, circa 1910-1919

I've Got a Secret

People tell me I look good for my age in both boy mode and girl mode. Not bragging, but my experiences out among civilians tend to confirm that assessment.

I attended my high school’s 50th reunion in boy mode, but if I had attended in girl mode (something I had seriously considered doing and now regret not doing), I would have looked better than most of my female classmates. I was shocked how most of them had let their selves go and/or how badly they had aged. (In general, my male classmates held up a lot better than the girls. Go figure.)

In boy mode, I get the “look good for my age” all the time, but the most telling moment was when I was in the hospital visiting my wife last summer and one of the nurses thought I was my wife’s son, not her husband!

So what’s my secret?

For starters, I never smoked and I seldom drink alcoholic beverages (I probably average a drink once per month). 

I have been babying my face like forever. These days I use the following products on my face every day: Avon’s Isa Knox Anew Clinical Line Eraser with Retinol Treatment and Olay Complete moisturizer.

On my neck, I use Avon Solutions Dramatic Firming Cream. I originally used this product to remove the redness on parts of my neck due to sun damage. The cream successfully removed the redness and I wondered if using it was also the reason that I do not have a turkey neck like so many of my contemporaries. Not to mess with success, I continue to use the cream every morning even though my neck’s redness is long gone. 

I also have been using Avon Foot Works Deep Moisturizing Cream on my feet for years. Not many people see my bare feet so I don't use this product “for show,” however, the cream has done wonders healing rough and dry foot skin and increases my high heel stamina.

People do see my legs and after my knee replacement surgery, I was concerned about the scar. The healing process was slow, so I began using Avon Senses Cozy Vanilla & Coconut Body Lotion on my legs and that seemed to speed up the healing process. And I continued to use it on both legs as the scar is less of an issue.

Those are my secrets. If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them.

(By the way, I am an Avon lady and have an online store. If you wish to purchase any Avon products mentioned above, click here to visit my store.)

Wearing London Times

Cecil Beaton (center) and other femulators performing for the Cambridge University Footlight Dramatic Club, circa 1925.