Buying a bra on Amazon is just not the same!

A now defunct Macy’s ladies’ dressing room, circa 2013

Shopping in the mall en femme are some of my fondest femulating memories. I enjoyed going to the mall en homme, too. 

Friday nights, my friends would meet at the mall and hang out until closing hoping to pick up girls (seldom happened), while Kenny waited for his girlfriend Penny to get off from her job at Sears. That was in my late teens.

Fast forward a half decade found me in the mall trying to get up the courage to enter Frederick’s of Hollywood. After circling the mall a few times, I finally went in and purchased my first bra and wig.

Fast forward another half decade found me getting fitted for a bra in Victoria’s Secret en femme, as well as shopping en femme in Macy’s, JCPenney, Ann Taylor, etc. using the ladies’ dressing rooms to try on my finds without any complaints.

[Just to be safe, whenever I wanted to use the ladies’ dressing room, I always played dumb and asked a store employee where the dressing rooms were located. They always directed me to the ladies’ dressing room, so I was home free in case a civilian complained (that never happened).]

Have you been to a mall lately? 

All the malls I shopped en femme regularly are dying or dead. If you want to get depressed, go to YouTube, search on “dead malls” and see if your fave mall shows up. If it does, watch the video and take a tour – it is very sad.

I miss my old malls. Buying a bra on Amazon is just not the same!

The Barbie look

Peter Sellers femulating in a deleted scene from the 1962 film Lolita.

Following His High Heeled Footsteps

Wearing Paige

Vesna Prague

Still Fab

The Beatles released a new song and two remixed/remastered albums last week. As a huge Beatles fan, I created the above image to commemorate the new releases. Rock on!

Wearing Venus

Dylan is a blue-eyed Taurus whose dream is to become a supermodel. Dylan loves vintage fashion -- especially from the '60s, '70s and '80s. Dylan is a proud transgender who also enjoys writing and creating music.  (Source: Toronto Sun. Suggested by Karen)

The Only Thing Certain in Life is Change

By Tami Knight

As I look back on my decades presenting as Tami, it is remarkable how much easier every aspect of my lifestyle is today from just 20 years ago. Most telling is when I am out and about in ‘drab,’ how accepting and even welcoming the retail world is to my interests all things feminine.

My small size and long hair helps cue anyone I interact with. Either way, any makeup counter any of us might approach is happy to help. I have never strolled into a women’s shop and asked about a top, shoes or whatever, without an enthusiastic response to help. I have a good feeling that often (again when in drab), that many women in retail think it is fun to see me try their product.

When shopping many years ago at the mall in Phoenix, I walked into a Rebecca Taylor store.  I wasn’t familiar with that designer and had to look. Rebecca Taylor clothes were on the romantic, flowy and very feminine. The young lady (Jennifer), working there was happy to show me things she thought a somewhat feminine male might enjoy wearing. 

I bought a top and started a friendship with this her. Jennifer went as far as to ship me other tops and dresses several times simply to try and keep or return. We stayed in touch for a couple years until she moved on to work at Joie.

I have and you may as well experienced this: Just weeks ago, I was shopping at a J. McLaughlin store as Tami. The two women who work there know me well as Tami. I tried on a black dress and then a brown leather sheath. Each time I stepped out of the dressing room to stand at the three-way mirror, another customer only away and compliments the fit of both dresses. 

“It looks as good from the back as from the front,” she said.  

I assumed this customer guessed I was trans or maybe not, but the ease and acceptance today is worlds apart from 20 years ago. This is not to say that one’s ambiguity quotient will always be ignored. It is important to have reasonable expectations, and one’s sincerity about our interests is equally important.  

All in all, the free market and good business practices, works in our favor.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Sans Wig

Wearing L'Agence

Johnny Weir femulated Lady Gaga on television’s Lip Sync Battle.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff 18

By J.J. Atwell

More Stuff

Wow, 18 installments of my Stuff! I find it hard to believe that there is this much stuff to write about. 

Today’s comments sprung to mind as I was preparing to go out. There I am, all dressed and made up. Ready to go out the door only to realize that I have no pockets to put my stuff in. What to do? Why, put it in a bag, of course!

What’s in your bag?

A woman basically carries her life in her bag. I say bag but you might also hear it referred to as a “pocket book,” “purse” or a “handbag.” Maybe even a clutch. For purposes of this installment, though, I’ll call it a bag. 

When I first started going out I wasn’t at all sure what I should carry in my bag. Some things are obvious like money, identification, credit cards and keys. That’s pretty much the same as you would put in your pockets as a guy. But what else might a woman or a crossdresser want to carry in her bag? With help from my GG friends, GiGi and Alicia, I put together a short list:

Lipstick

Hair brush

Perfume

Small mirror

Phone (this might substitute for a mirror)

Small packet of tissues

Hair ties or barette

Glasses/sunglasses?

So, maybe that’s not such a short list. But most of it is necessary for a woman being out in public for any amount of time. Once you start carrying around a bag, you find that stuff expands to fill the amount of available space. Yes, you’ll put more and more things into the bag. Before you know it, you will need a bigger bag!

What Kind of Bag?

Good question. There are so many options for bags to carry, but for most women the decision depends on what they are wearing and where they are going. Color and style of the bag should match the overall look of the clothing. 

If you are just in jeans and a t-shirt, then you might leave the sequined, glittery bag at home and opt for a simple cloth or leather bag. Similarly, if you are getting dressed to the nines then it’s time to bring out the fancy, upscale bag. Again, think about how you are presenting.

The shape of a bag can be termed “north/south” or “east/west,” North/south is a style where the bag is longer than it is wide. It then follows that east/west is a bag that is wider than it is long. Which style you pick is mostly a matter of personal taste. I tend to prefer the north/south style as I think it’s a more slimming look. 

Also, a good tip for safety sake is to carry a bag that closes either with a zipper or a snap. You don’t want to have all your stuff easily seen by anybody. Another plus is a separate interior pocket that zips closed. You’ll also want to be conscious of your bag when you are out. When walking, you might want a crossbody bag and keep it more or less in front of you. When dining out, you can sling the bag over the back of your seat or perhaps on a spare seat next to you. 

I’ll be back

After sorting out what I need to include in my bag, I’ll be back with more stuff. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff!

👠👠👠

Stana’s Two Cents

Having carried a purse for over 50 years, I have to add my two cents about what else to carry in a bag.

A woman’s wallet to hold your money, credit cards, IDs, etc.

A compact that includes a mirror, powder (foundation) and applicator to touch up during a long day out

Eyedrops to get the red out (makeup crumbs can cause eye irritation/redness)

Mascara

Lip liner (if you use lip liner)

Stick-on nails in case you wear them and lose one

Spare hosiery in case you run your nylons

With all that, you’re gonna need a bigger bag! (LOL) I actually include a small zippered bag in the big bag to carry the makeup separately from the rest of the bag’s contents.

Wearing Dress Barn

Womanless Pageant Son and Mom: Yesterday, Today (and Tomorrow?)

Forced

Wearing Ann Taylor

Anonymous alerted me about this video: the making of the video for Troye Sivan’s new song, “One Of Your Girls.” I wrote about the original video here. The “making of” video is just as fabulous; click here to view it.

Go Solo

“I'm a guy.”

I love to pass. What femulator doesn’t? But sooner or later, most out-and-about femulators realize that passing as a cisgender woman is not the end-all and be-all of male-to-female crossdressing. 

As a tall girl, I feared that my height would give me away if I attempted to go out among the civilians. That fear kept me in the closet for years. When I could not stand that stuffy closet any longer, I stepped out of the closet and into a local mall and discovered that my height was not a big deal. I was perceived as just another middle-aged woman. 

On those occasions when a civilian suspected that something was amiss, they might stare at me and/or comment about my presentation to another civilian. But no one ever called me out about being en femme because I believe/assume that my presentation was usually just good enough that even if a civilian suspected something, they would not dare say anything fearing that I really might be a cisgender female. Or if they thought that I was en femme, they did not think it was something important enough to confront me about it. I was just a curiosity (“Guess what I saw at the mall today”).

On the other hand, I often pass successfully – more often than not. If you’ve read this blog for awhile, you probably read my numerous accounts of successfully passing. Like the time at JC Penney when a woman stopped me because I was “fashionably dressed” and wanted my opinion on some clothing she was buying. Or the time a saleswoman working at Nordstrom engaged me in a discussion about being tall females. Or my numerous May weekends en femme staffing the booth (booth babedom) at a ham radio convention. Or Halloween 2022, dining at Viron Rondo Osteria…

My waitress was pleasant, took my order and in short order, I was drinking a beverage and dining on a delicious pasta dinner. I noticed some male diners and waiters checking me out, but I just looked away... after all, I am a married woman!

Time flew by quickly and before I knew it, the waitress was packing up my leftovers and presenting me with the bill. I overheard her complimenting a couple at another table about their Halloween costume, so when she returned to collect my payment, I asked, “How do you like my Halloween costume?”

She looked at me with a blank expression and asked, “What is it?”

“I’m a guy.”

She was shocked. She had no idea and began gushing over my “costume,” loved my hairdo (wig) and thought that my nails were “cute.”

Contrast that with my dining experience with three trans-lady friends at the same restaurant last Wednesday. When we paid the check, the waitress said, “Thank-you, sir.”

Why the difference? My presentation was similar on all those occasions. What caused the passes and the fails?

My experience is that I usually pass when I am out and about solo, but add a trans companion or two and I (we) fail to pass. In almost every failure to pass that I can recall over the years, there was usually one or more trans folks accompanying me.

One very tall lady (me) can pass. It helps that I am old and basically invisible to the younger civilian population. No one pays attention to an old lady even if she is six feet tall. But add two or three tall ladies to the mix and that is so atypical that it raises a red flag. It causes people to look more closely and deduce what is really going on.

So to pass, go solo.

Problem is that going solo is a lonely proposition. It is always more fun to go out and about with a companion. However, if that companion is a male en femme, passing may be more difficult, so if possible, go with a cisgender female companion. No guarantees, but it may help.

Wearing Venus

Someday Funnies

Wearing Boston Proper

 

Yet another modern couple

Ladies Who Did Lunch

Diana, Lee Anne, Sylvia and me (the ladies who do lunch) met at Viron Rondo Osteria in Cheshire, Connecticut, on Wednesday to have an early afternoon meal.

Osteria was jumping. Their large parking lot was almost full, so I am glad I made reservations the day before. We were seated in the main dining room and no one seemed to notice the senior ladies. None of our fellow diners seemed to pay any attention to us. No one stared, pointed or laughed.

I wore an animal print ruched dress from Venus that I have not worn out before. I also wore a new wig (Sandie from Noriko in “Sandalwood”) and new heels (Nine West Sorts 3.35-inch heels in “Barely Nude”). It was chilly, so I topped my outfit with my JustFab double breasted plaid coat and accessorized with gold jewelry (necklace, earrings, bracelet) and a beige Christian Siriano Dress Barn bag. I also wore Berkshire thigh-highs in a new (to me) shade that I like – “City Beige.”

I also wore glasses. I had a feminine-style bifocals that I ordered from Zenni a year ago, but I had put them away a couple of months ago and I don’t remember where (one of those senior traits), so I wore a different feminine-style that were not bifocals. This became an issue when trying to read the menu. Lee Anne kindly let me borrow her bifocals to get over that hump.

One more accessory – I took my cane along for insurance while walking in heels on unforgiving pavement and sidewalks. The cane was strictly insurance as I had no problem walking in heels on Wednesday. 

The only other time that I use the cane is during my daily walk in the woods. The paths through the woods are very natural – lots of ups and downs and hidden (by leaves) holes and broken branches, so the cane is again insurance in case I trip up or have to fend off a bear. (In all my years hiking those same woods, I only encountered a bear once – about a month ago. The bear got out of Dodge as soon as he saw me coming.)

Our lunches were excellent. The ladies seemed to like the new lunch venue that I had suggested and we will probably continue dining there in the future. (Probably some time before Christmas.)

For what it’s worth, I don’t think we passed. It is the same old problem – a girl going solo can pass if she is presentable. But it is difficult for a quartet of girls, all six-footers or thereabouts, to pass. And I know for sure we did not pass because when we paid the check, the waitress said, “Thank-you, sir.”

UPDATE: Contrast this with a girl who dined solo at the same restaurant on Halloween 2022.

And so it goes.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Yet another beautiful femulator