Someday Funnies: Revenge at the Junior Prom

Wearing Bardot dress and Gucci bag

Vesna Prague, Emulator

Friday Foundations

On Wednesday, I wrote about acquiring wigs and a dress during the Jurassic period of my crossdressing life. Acquiring foundation garments during that period was even more fraughtful.

The first bra I ever purchased was acquired at the same time I acquired a wig at Frederick’s of Hollywood. I recall not being fitted for the bra – I assume that the saleslady was not concerned that it fit correctly since I was only going to wear it as part of a Halloween costume. I do recall the cheap pair of foam inserts that she sold me to fill out the bra. I tried to resist, but she was insistent that I needed them

My first girdle purchase (actually an all-in-one) was more interesting. I was working in Kingston, New York, and visited an old-school lingerie shop in boy mode to get fitted for an all-in-one.

I found the store in the Yellow Pages and I checked it out one evening after work. It was located in downtown Kingston, not in a strip mall or shopping plaza, and it looked tiny and inconspicuous… the antithesis of Victoria’s Secret.

For days, I thought about the store and finally gathered up the courage to visit it during a lunch hour. I drove to the store, parked on the street and sat in my car waiting for minimum pedestrian traffic to avoid anyone seeing me entering the store. When all was clear, I exited my car and entered the store as quickly as possible.

A middle-aged lady greeted me. She probably had seen it all, so when I mentioned I needed some foundation garments for my Halloween costume, I don't know if she believed me. And when I suggested that I might need an “all-in-one,” that probably tipped my hand immediately – how many guys knew what’s an "all-in-one?"

Nevertheless, she was very helpful and after measuring me up, she handed me two heavy-duty all-in-ones to try on and said, “Take these to the dressing room, try them on and call me so I can see if they fit properly.’

I did not expect such a hands-on sale, but was glad to have it. I went to the dressing room, quickly stripped down to my briefs and zipped myself into the first all-in-one, but it did nothing for me. However, the second one did wonders and I summoned the proprietor to examine me wearing the second all-in-one.

“Wow, that was quick,” she remarked. I assumed that her other male customers were not as fast as I when trying on their “first” foundation garment.

She checked me out and gushed about my great girlish figure. I tipped my hand again when my face turned beet red in embarrassment. I could not pay for my purchase fast enough and get out Dodge.

By the way, I loved that all-in-one. It was constructed with spring-like metal stays and it gave me a figure like no other. It was my go-to foundation garment for years. I wish I could find one like it today!  

For Your Entertainment 

With my mobility limited by my bad knee, I have spent a lot of time sitting on my dupa lately browsing the Internet discovering items of interest related (or not) to my life as a femulator. Here are two of my latest findings.

“What dressing up with my Mom looks like::” is a short TikTok video that I think you will enjoy. Be sure to check out the creator’s other videos – she is amazing. (Ah... to be young again!)

“The Who Beatles Medley 82” has The Who of 1982 play two iconic Beatles’ hits. 

Rock on!

Wearing Bebe

Keith Moon, femulator and drummer extraordinaire

U.S. Congressman George Santos also known as Kitara Ravache 

Someday Funnies: The Gibson Gurls

Wearing Paige

Mr. Gayle Powers, professional femulator

Liar, Liar, Your Panty Girdle’s on Fire

Frederick’s of Hollywood Wig
October 1976

Trying to recall my early days acquiring stuff for my femulations, I remembered the following adventures.

To acquire stuff in the early days, I used two excuses (lies): 

• To put together a Halloween costume 
• To put together a costume to play the “aunt” in Charley’s Aunt. 

The first excuse was not always a lie because some of the time my purchases (usually wigs) were actually used for a Halloween costume. 

The second excuse is embarrassing and I only used it once: to purchase a dress in a plus-size women’s store. The store was a family-run business, not a chain like Lane Bryant, and when I showed up one evening to buy a dress, the store was staffed by the owner, a kindly middle-aged woman, and her daughter. They were very helpful trying to find a dress for my appearance in a local community college’s production of Charley’s Aunt. 

I don’t know if they bought my story. Running a plus-size women’s apparel store, I am sure I was not the first crossdresser they ever saw. Believing my lie or not, they gave no indication that they suspected anything was amiss and I went home with a pretty new acquisition to my wardrobe.

I used the Halloween costume excuse for the first two wigs I purchased, one at Frederick’s of Hollywood and another at an out-of-town wig store, where the two young women staffing the store were very enthusiastic about my costume and convinced me that I had to buy a blond wig.

There was a wig store in town where I made many subsequent purchases, the first time using the Halloween excuse. This was a high-end wig store, so I concluded that the proprietor was no fool believing my story that I was buying an expensive wig for a one-time Halloween costume. Not to mention that like the plus-size apparel store owner, she probably had a few crossdressing customers, too. So when I made all my later wig purchases, I jettisoned the excuses and admitted that I was buying the wig for personal use. (The truth did not faze her in the least.)

After that, whenever I acquired stuff, I admitted that whatever I was buying was for my personal use, which occasionally resulted in visiting a women’s apparel store changing room in boy mode.

And so it goes.

Wearing Bebe

   

Someday Funnies: Son and Pop Shop

Wearing Venus (a verified Stana purchase)

Femulating in the 1960’s

That’s Not Me

Vladimir Luxuria

My heroines were transpeople who lived full time or part time as women and more importantly, did not hide their male roots, for example, people like Paul Whitehead, Grayson Perry, Miqqi Gilbert, Vladimir Luxuria and Eddie Izzard among others. Most (all?) are no-surgery, no-hormone transpeople and are legally male (just like me).

They were my heroines because I thought it was very gutsy to be a male who was so open about his crossdressing. Closeted like I was, I could not imagine freely admitting to the civilian population that I was a male who crossdressed. But I always hoped that I could be like my heroines some day.

Revisiting my heroines, I realize now that I am like my heroines, that is, I live as a woman part time and don’t hide my male roots. I achieved heroine status and did not know it! And now that I achieved heroine status, I don’t think it is such a big deal.

The word “heroine” seems to be too strong a word for what I am. A heroine is “a woman admired or idealized for her courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.” That’s not me. 

Some say that some of the things I have done are courageous. But I never felt I needed courage to do what I did. I was just trying to live my life in a way that was fitting for me (and damn the torpedoes).

Wearing LoveShackFancy

Artyom Suchkov, Roman Popov and Dmitriy Vlaskin femulating in the 2019 Russian film Girls Are Different. You can view the film on YouTube.

Someday Funnies: First Time – About Time

Wearing Valentino

Bud Flanagan femulating in the 1946 film Here Comes the Sun.

Someday Funnies: Shrinkage

Wearing New York & Company

Femulators partying in Brooklyn, New York, circa 1929.

Nobody Cares What You Wear

The comments received in response to Wednesday’s post, “I Love What You’re Wearing, ‘Sir,’” indicates that there is more tolerance for more feminine coloring and style for a man to wear these days.

I am still old school in a lot of ways and believe that if you wear something feminine, you are taking a chance, so don’t be surprised if someone calls you on it. (Yet my experiences wearing feminine items does not support my beliefs, so go figure.)

Anyway it seems that no one is calling anyone on anything, which is a good thing with regards to the situation that girls like us find ourselves. But that throws a monkey wrench into our beliefs that we are passing. Passing may actually be a matter of nobody caring.

If that’s the case, we can dress to our feminine heart’s content out among the civilians and get away with it. I wouldn’t recommend wearing an evening gown to go shopping at Walmart, but a denim miniskirt and crop top will probably work. Although if you go the Walmart evening gown route, you can always say that you were on your way to the opera and decided to pick up a few things.

While on the subject of blending and not blending in, you may recall a few years ago when I had a free dinner date courtesy of Prudential Financial. Stanley was invited and she attended dressed appropriately for a woman her age.

At the banquet hall, each attendee was assigned to a specific table and each table had a Prudential representative seated with the guests. The rep introduced himself and was available to field questions, if any. It was all very laid-back and there was no high pressure sales.

A week later, I received a call on my iPhone. I did not recognize the number, so I did not answer it. I received a second call from the same number a week later and another on Friday.

Over the weekend, I finally noticed that there were two voicemails left after the last two calls. I listened to the voicemails and they were from the Prudential rep seated at our table offering his financial services if I was interested.

He did mention in passing that either I was a no-show at the dinner or I ended up sitting at the wrong table!

Ha!

There were three couples and two solos (me and a guy) seated at our table. Perhaps the rep thought I was with the wife or girlfriend of the solo guy even though we were not seated together. I also assume he was looking for a male Stanley at his table, not the lady Stanley, who was present.

I guess I blend in better than I thought. 

Wearing Boston Proper

Bathing beauty Brandi

Someday Funnies: Not Kissin’ Cousins

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Dave Lynn, British professional femulator