Someday Funnies: Who Invited Her?

Wearing Venus

Tima Marso, male womenswear model

The Bug

Wearing Fashion Bug

Some of my favorite moments are when I am clothes shopping. And one of my favorite place to shop was the dearly departed Fashion Bug. 

My wife loved Fashion Bug and I usually tagged along in husband mode when she shopped. Feigning boredom, I would peruse the racks and if I found anything to my liking, I would ask my wife to add it to her pile and I would try it on when we got home. Nice thing about Fashion Bug was that their sizes were consistent, so if I found something in my size, I was sure that it would fit when I tried it on at home.

Eventually, I stopped feigning boredom and perused the racks as if I belonged and had my own pile to take to the cashier. 

I never shopped en femme in Fashion Bug with my wife so as not to embarrass her, but going by my shopping history, the sales reps may have known better. One time, shopping with my wife, she found something to buy and at the check-out, the sale rep asked my wife if she would like to sign-up to be a model for an in-store fashion show. As an incentive, you got to keep one of the outfits you modeled.

I encouraged my wife, but she didn’t want to do it. With a straight face, I asked if I could sign-up instead and with a straight face, the sales rep said I could. I was joking and told the sales rep so, but later I regretted it and should have signed up.

As time passed by, I became bolder and started trying on my finds in out-of-town stores in boy mode and usually, the sales reps were agreeable. But one time, while shopping in an out-of-town Fashion Bug, I asked the sales rep if I could try on a dress I found. 

She became flustered, hesitated, and then asked me if I wanted to try it on in the ladies’ dressing room – as if I had a choice – Fashion Bug only had ladies’ dressing rooms. I affirmed that I wanted to try it on, so the sales rep relented, checked the dressing rooms to make sure no other women were using them and when she was sure it was all clear, she let me in. 

On subsequent visits to that store in boy mode, the sales rep was very accommodating and always asked me if I needed a dressing room. I assumed that my earlier purchase proved to her that I was a paying customer and not a weirdo.

When I finally visited that store en femme, the sales rep was clueless. I spent about a half hour browsing through the store. I really wasn’t looking for anything in particular, but I did find some clip-on earrings that I liked and purchased.

At check-out, I used my Fashion Bug credit card and the sales rep asked for additional identification. I figured that when I handed her my driver’s license the jig would be up.

I handed her my driver’s license. She looked at it, then asked, “Is this your husband?”

“No, that's me,” I replied.

She finally realized reality and burst out, “Oh my, God, you look fantastic!”

“Thank-you,” I said.

As she was checking me out, she added, “You know, we have other male customers who dress as women and I spot them right away, but I never would have guessed you were a guy! You not only look like a woman – you move like a woman, you talk like a woman, you act like a woman – you’re all-woman!”

With that, my high heels never touched the ground as I walked on air out of the store and drove home. 

I miss Fashion Bug!

Wearing Venus

Male modeling the Denis Gagnon Fall Collection

Very Suitable

There's a lot of truth to my Dress Barn ad parody. They didn’t have Transfashion Specialists at Dress Barn, but their sales reps might as well have been Transfashion Specialists.

I shopped at Dress Barn frequently. The staff at the local store knew me in boy and girl mode and they were very good at making me look my best as a woman no matter which gender I shopped in.

One time, I was shopping for a new dress in boy mode and the sales rep suggested a frock that I would have never given a second look. I tried it on and was not thrilled with the way it looked on me in boy mode, which is often the case trying on womenswear en homme.

The sales rep sensed my lack of enthusiasm, but urged me to buy the dress because she “knew” it would look good on me en femme. If not, I could always return it for a full refund.

I trusted her opinion, bought the dress and when I wore it en femme, it looked gorgeous and received lots of compliments.

Go figure.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Triplets

Someday Funnies

Wearing London Times

Susan, a Femulate reader

Various Topics of Interest

I wear clip-on earrings, but they are getting harder to find. Avon stopped selling them and last time I visited the mall shopping for them, I came home empty-handed. 

A few days ago, while placing another Amazon order, I thought that since Amazon sells just about everything, maybe they sell clip-on earrings, too. A quick search revealed that they do sell clip-ons and I ordered two sets (these* and those*).

They arrived today and I am happy with y purchase. A nice feature is that unlike the clip-ons I already owned, the clips on these are tiny and look like pierced earrings.

👠👠👠

I was very surprised to learn that Virgin Atlantic Airways announced updates to its gender identity policy that include allowing staff to wear gender pronoun badges and eliminating the gendered uniform requirement. Now, Virgin staff can select which uniform they want to wear. (Source: LGBTQNation)

To add icing on the cake, Virgin Atlantic job applications doubled after they allowed women to wear pants and men to wear skirts. (Source: LGBTQNation)

Wow! I think I would feel very comfortable flying en femme on Virgin Atlantic!

👠👠👠 

My good friend Ann Onymous, commenting on yesterday’s post, wrote, “We need a photo of Stana in the dress...”

A photo of me wearing the Venus cocktail dress appears to the above right. I was a little hesitant publishing it because after viewing it, I thought it would look better if I was wearing dark sheer hosiery rather than the black opaque tights.

And so it goes.

* These links go to Amazon.

Wearing Boston Proper

Virgin Atlantic flight attendants wearing his/her uniforms. You can view Virgin Atlantic’s short video introducing the new uniform policy on YouTube. 

All Dressed Up...

In July, I ordered a green sequins cocktail dress from Venus. When I placed the order, Venus informed me that it was back-ordered. That was not a problem because I had no cocktail parties scheduled in my immediate future.

During the summer, Venus regularly emailed me that the dress was still back-ordered with a tentative shipping date in late October and an option to cancel at any time. I wanted the dress and did not cancel.

The local LGBT group has a big dressy event in the fall, which I have attended in the past. This year, the event was scheduled for early November, which coincided nicely with the delivery of the dress in late October. Now I had someplace to wear the dress, but I had two issues: my knee and the events $200 price of admission.

I had an appointment with my knee doctor three weeks before the event. If he gave my knee a shot, my knee might be in good enough shape to attend the event. He did give me the shot and three weeks later, my knee felt great.

The dress arrived on time, looked great and looked good on me, so I was moved to spend the tax-deductible $200 for a ticket to the event. After all, where else could I wear the dress before the meds in my knee wore off.

Diana had contacted me previously about attending the event with her (a girls’ night out). I told her about my issues and said I would get back to her. Now that all systems were go, I contacted her, but she was stuck on the Cape and could not attend. I did not want to go alone, so I cancelled my plans.

I don’t know where I will wear the dress... maybe a Christmas party. Meanwhile, I am all dressed up and nowhere to go.

Wearing Venus

Students at the Russian Imperial School of Jurisprudence emulating gypsy men and women, circa 1910.

Someday Funnies: His and Hers

Wearing Donna Morgan

Womanless wedding in Petrograd, Russia, 1921.

Someday Funnies: If You Got ’Em

Wearing New York & Company

Santiago Emiliano femulating on an episode of Mexican television’s Como dice el dicho.

Girls Who Wear Glasses

Last time I went to an optometrist was over five years ago. Lately, I noticed my vision has gotten worse, so it was time to go see an optometrist again. Problem is that my old optometrist is no longer covered by my insurance, so it was time for a change.

My sister has been getting her eyeglasses online and she is very happy with that arrangement, not to mention that buying eyeglasses online is substantially cheaper than buying from an optometrist. 

I decided to try that option myself, so I made an appointment with the local Costco Vision Center to get my eyes checked and obtain a new prescription for $60. 

With the new prescription in hand, I visited the online eyeglass purveyor that my sister uses (Zenni). I set up a new account and entered my prescription on their website. Zenni (like other online spectacle sellers) offers the option to upload your photo to their website so that you can try on eyeglasses virtually. So I uploaded my visage and shopped for new eyeglasses. 

There were a lot of frames to choose from and I found a nice gender-neutral pair for $52. That is about 12% of what I paid the last time I purchased eyeglasses from my optometrist! At that price, I decided to buy a second girlier pair to wear when I am en femme.

I uploaded my female visage to the Zenni website and shopped for my girly glasses. You can see the pair I selected in the image above. I should have my new eyeglasses in 7 to 10 days and look forward to wearing them out among the civilians real soon now.

Wearing Boston Proper

Dave Foley femulating in televisions The Kids In The Hall.

Transitioning

In response to my standing offer to answer anything you ask me, Julie Shaw wrote the following:

I'm getting tired of coming up with answers to “well meaning” people asking me when I’m going to start transitioning. I don’t WANT to transition. I’m a heterosexual male-to-female crossdresser and have NO desire to change that.

My question for you is “how would you communicate this to those sisters on social media who all but berate me for not being true to yourself.” I have run out of words.

It seems to me (with emphasis on “to me”) that the meaning of “transition” has changed over time.

In olden days when I still lived in a closet, transition meant that you took hormones, had surgery and did all that the law allowed to officially change your name and sex designation.

Today, the definition of “transition” is a lot looser. You don’t have to take hormones and/or you don’t have to have surgery and/or you don’t have to legally change your name or sex designation. You don’t even have to live full-time in your trans gender.

So I guess I transitioned some time ago and didn’t even know it!

At Fantasia Fair in 2014, I attended Natasha Wilkie’s presentation “Planning Your Transition.” The most important thing I took out of the presentation was that you do it at your own pace... a pace that you are comfortable with.

As the presentation ended, Natasha left us with a metaphor... Transition is like riding a train. You can get off at any stop and you can get back on the train whenever you wish and in some cases, you can go back to a previous stop.

So when quizzed about when am I going to transition, I can honestly say I have transitioned already.

Nota Bene! This post is a re-post.

Wearing Boston Proper

Alejandro de Hoyas Parera femulating in an episode of Mexican television‘s Esta Historia Me Suena.