Speaking English

By Celeste

You’re right to say that here in Britain, we call what you call “pantyhose,” we call “tights.” You ask as to what we call what you call “tights” and the rather confusing answer is “tights.” 

It’s up to the listener or reader to judge as to whether the speaker or writer is referring to what you would call pantyhose or what you would call tights. It will usually be pantyhose. What you call tights might sometimes be called “dance tights” to make it clear as to what is being referred to, but this would only occasionally be the case.

There are quite a lot of transatlantic differences in terminology, of course. Some which are found with regard to what we wear.

In Britain “pumps” are gym shoes, worn by both men and women. What you call “pumps” have traditionally been called “court shoes” in Britain, but that is a term falling out of use and shoes with heels are now usually simply referred to as “heels” or more specifically, the type of heel – kitten, high, stiletto, etc.   

“Hose” is a term rarely used in speech in Britain, but “hosiery” is sometimes used on signage in stores and in catalogues/catalogs.

Ladies’ stockings are held up by wearing a “suspender belt” not, as you would say, a “garter belt” with suspenders clipped onto the stocking. Garters are individual elasticated and usually highly decorative bands worn on one leg, ostensibly, to hold up the stocking but, actually, purely for decorative adornment. A very different type of garter used to be worn by men just below the knee to keep their socks up – a practice which finally died out here in the early 1950s.

Women and girls in Britain rarely refer to wearing “panties,” though may occasionally refer to them as “pants.” They are referred to as a “panty” in the context of “panty liners,” but otherwise, girls and women refer to them as “knickers.” Unlike in the USA, where Imen and boys are more likely to wear what you would call “knickers,” here in Britain the term “knickers” can have the same implicit erotic undertone as “panties” may have with you. Only in certain parts of northern England are men’s underpants still occasionally called “knickers” in common parlance.

So British women and girls are most likely to refer to their panties as knickers, but they are sold as “briefs,” a term the wearers may occasionally use.

As to underwear generally, I notice that women in the USA sometimes refer to ladies’ underwear as “lahngeray.” In Britain, it’s pronounced “lawngeree.” Both pronunciations are wrong – it’s “lahngeree.”

I find these differences fascinating. I hope you do, too.

Wearing Baulah

Charles Hawtrey femulating in the 1969 British film Carry On Again Doctor.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Trina Turk

Harry Myers femulating in the 1926 film 45 Minutes from Broadway.

Friday Femulations

Trans Book Report

Without Shame, Learning to Be Me by Connelly Akstens is an excellent book containing life vignettes on a wide range of topics (“many odd experiences, some stunning misadventures and the acquaintance of many quirky people”), but they are often related to the author’s life long struggle with gender dysphoria. 

“For most of my life I lived in the shadow of shame. I was afraid there would be terrible consequences if anyone discovered my gender confusion. Who would want to be my friend? How would I have a career? Who would love me?”

Sounds familiar, but the book is hardly familiar. It is unlike any other transgender book I have ever read – it’s the transgender book I wish I had written. 

You can purchase Connelly’s book from the author's website with free shipping and a free inscription as you’d like it. The book is also available from Amazon.

Squeaky Redux

Thank you all for the kind words about the passing of Squeaky. I really appreciate it.

The hardest part of her death was when I looked at her for the last time, closed the lid on her “casket,” placed the box in the hole I had dug and began shoveling dirt on top of her box.

Very hard.

Mother and Son Redux

If you don’t read the blog comments, here is what you missed when Anonymous asked, “Is that really a young femulator in the last pic?” referring to the Mother and Son photo on my Mother’s Day post.

The son in the photo was a contestant at a womanless beauty pageant. There are other photos of him/her in the usual places on the Internet (like here and here), but I selected the rear view photo because I thought it was so touching for Mother's Day.

Wearing Unique Vintage

Contestants in the 2013 womanless beauty pageant at the University of Aconcagua in Calama, Chile. In my opinion, the contestants in this pageant were femulators par excellence. You can view the introduction of the contestants on YouTube.

Tricks to help you stand in heels for hours

Tami sent me an article about Kate Middleton’s tricks that help her stand in heels for hours. 

To prevent Kate’s feet from slipping out of her heels, she wears non-slip pantyhose from John Lewis, a UK department store. Those pantyhose feature gel strips on the sole to help feet grip more firmly onto the soles of the shoes. I did a perfunctory Internet search and did not find John Lewis pantyhose on sale in the USA, but I did find that Hue sells a similar product stateside. If anyone has another source, please share the information. 

Having staffed my ham radio group’s convention booth for hours in heels, I am always happy to learn about anything that will make my 8-hour days in heels more comfortable, so I will have to purchase some Hue pantyhose before my next booth assignment.

By the way, what we call “pantyhose” in the USA are called “tights” in the UK. (Don't know what they call “tights” in the UK.)

Kate also uses a leather sole insert designed to cushion your feet so you can comfortably wear any type of shoe, including high heels, for hours. The brand Kate uses is Alice Bow, a British brand, but there are similar products available in the USA. (Personally, I have been using Vivian Lou Insolia weight-shifting insoles for years and recommend them highly.)

Wearing Joyinme

Femulating in Namibia: Rumano Fabrishh and Reinhard Mahalie

Squeaky

Eighteen winters ago, Squeaky showed up on our front porch during a snowstorm wearing a red collar. 

We assumed that a collared cat belonged to somebody, so I printed some flyers about our find, distributed them throughout the neighborhood, but there were no takers. So Squeaky, so-named because she squeaked rather than meowed, joined our four cats and two dogs.

Squeaky preferred humans to dogs and cats, so she usually hung out with the humans – my wife while I was at work and me while I was at home – and bullied the other pets if they crossed her path. 

She seemed to be curious about my femulations. If she caught me getting crossdressed in our bedroom, she would hang back for the transformation. Or if she found me already crossdressed, she would often hang with me for awhile. 

She outlived our dogs and other cats, so for the past three years, she has been our only pet. During that time, which coincided with my retirement, she became even closer to me. Every evening, she would snuggle up next to me while I was watching television or working at my computer and I would break from whatever I was doing to massage her.

About two weeks ago, she began acting oddly. She would just sit and stare at nothing. She began curling up in places where she never curled up before. She ate less or not at all and spent less time snuggling up with me. The Internet said she was dying and I made plans to take her to the vet. 

By last Wednesday evening, she had not snuggled with me in days, so I scooped her up off the floor and placed her next to me on our sofa – our normal spot for snuggling. I massaged her back and head for about 20 minutes and then she left to return to the floor, where I found her lifeless body the next morning.

I miss her so.

Wearing New York & Company

Jenny

Someday Funnies

Wearing Intermix

Mother and son

My Motherly Moment

Dressed to kill for the IFGE
Convention Banquet

The traffic light is on the verge of turning green and the anticipation is palpable. Things are getting back to “normal” in Connecticut and in a few more weeks, I will feel safe to go out en femme visiting my old haunts and some new haunts, too.

Meanwhile, I spent some time recently looking over old photos from past hauntings – recalling the good old days – when I came upon my photos from the 2004 IFGE Convention. 

My friend Sylvia drove and I navigated our way to a hotel near the Philadelphia airport where we had a blast over an extended weekend attending workshops, presentations, dinners, lunches, social gatherings and a banquet.

Recalling the Philly convention, I remember attending a presentation by the mother of a young transgirl. She was very young – single digit in age.

I have no idea why I decided to attend that presentation. I was not the parent of a trans-child. My guess is that none of the other presentations in that time slot interested me, so what the heck.

The mother walked in with her daughter in tow, went up to the dais and prepared to begin her talk while directing her daughter to find a seat in the audience. The room was almost full with over 100 attendees and the girl looked a little lost going up the aisle looking for a seat.

I had an aisle seat and when the girl got to me,  she gave me a big smile and asked me to pick her up so she could sit in my lap! I was speechless and she sat in my lap for the duration of her mother’s 45-minute presentation.

She was perfectly behaved, a little lady and her mother thanked me afterwords for “babysitting.” 

I don't know why her daughter picked me over all the other people sitting in that room, which included some cisgender women in addition to the male-to-female majority. No matter the reason, it was the highlight of the convention for me – I passed with motherly colors!

Wearing Boston Proper

Paweł Góral femulating Céline Dion on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.
You can view this amazing femulation on YouTube.

Notes of Note

Wanted: Trans Lives Conference Presenters

The annual Transgender Lives Conference will be virtual this year due to the pandemic. And Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC) seeks presenters for this virtual event on June 12. If you are interested in presenting, please contact the Coalition at conference@transadvocacy.org

Changing Your Gender Marker – State-by-State

Updating gender markers on government-issued documents such as a driver’s license can help one to truly feel like their authentic self.  However, depending on your state, this process may require more than just a trip to the DMV. 

To the rescue, Bankrate created a state-by-state resource for changing gender markers on a driver’s license. Click here to visit this gender marker resource.

Mikki Has News Times Three

Patti Harrison in Together Together

Mikki sent me three interesting stories from TGForum that I am passing on to you.

👠  TGForum has a link to a Vogue article about Patti Harrison, a trans actor who plays a woman who becomes a surrogate mother for a character played by Ed Helms. It’s one thing for a trans actor to have a big role in a film, but I don’t think there’s been one who plays a pregnant woman – this is a big first! Can’t wait to see Together, Together! Click here to read the Vogue article.

👠  Also mentioned is a film titled Port Authority. It’s about a boy who runs off from Pennsylvania to NYC and meets some kids in the ballroom scene. One of the kids he becomes involved with is a gorgeous transwoman. Click here to read about Port Authority.

👠  TGForum also has a story about a previous Drag Race competitor, Honey Mahogany, who is into much more important issues these days. She’s trying to be the first black and trans chairperson of the San Francisco Democratic Party. She’s very well educated and has “paid her dues” in the Democratic Party, having been elected to several key positions. I’m reminded in a way of Virginia's Danica Roem except Ms. Mahogany has done all her political work as a woman. I’d vote for her! Click here to read the Honey Mahogany story.

Fantasia Fair Is On

Good news is that a real live Fantasia Fair is a go this year. Scheduled for October 17-24 in pretty Provincetown, Massachusetts, the Fair returns as a real live event (after a one year absence due to the pandemic). 

Each time I have attended Fantasia Fair, I have had the times of my life (so much so that I wrote a book about it). And I am seriously thinking about attending again this year after a seven year absence.

Whether I scratch my seven year itch or not, I highly recommend the Fair to you – it’s time for you to have your time of your life.

Wearing Bebe

Piotr Gawron-Jedlikowski femulates Magdalena Narożna on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo. You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Candid Camera

I have a lot of photos. I took most of them myself. Others were taken by friends, acquaintances and strangers who I imposed upon to take my photo.

The vast majority were posed photos, that is, I was aware that I was being photographed, so I smiled and tried to look as ladylike as possible. A few were candid photos – no posing, no forced smiling, no nothing, just me caught on “film” au naturel.

Despite all the effort I put into looking my best in posed photos, I look OK in about one in five photos. Or maybe it’s more like one in ten. Or one in twenty... 

One of my best photos was a candid shot taken by my friend Jamie at the Transgender Lives Conference. I volunteered to staff the conference’s registration table and Jamie caught me while I was going over some paperwork related to job.

When I posted the photo here, it received rave reviews. The consensus was that I looked so naturally feminine in that photo. 

What gets me is that I wasn’t even trying!

Wearing New York & Company

Enzo Cerusico femulating in the 1979 Italian film Scusi, Lei È Normale?
You can view the film on dailymotion.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Intermix

Sydney Drew (center) femulating in the 1914 film Never Again.