The Old Neighborhood

Susan's post on Sunday ("Not like other boys") inspired me to write this post today.

Growing up, I thought I was just like the other boys, but some of the other boys disagreed. They thought I was a "sissy," a "fairy," a "faggot," etcetera and the bullies did what bullies do.

I did not understand what caused them to treat me that way.

One day, an older neighborhood kid took me aside and said I needed to "man up" or I would continue to be the bullies favorite target. I shrugged off his advice because I still thought I was just like the other boys, so why should I do anything different.

When I went away to college, nothing changed except that there was a new set of bullies.

After I completed my higher education, I moved back home, but the bullies had moved on.

I moved out of the neighborhood 35 years ago and slowly discovered why I had such a hard time in the old neighborhood. I was really a girl in a boy's body and I played the part so well in so many ways that the bullies could not abide by it.

I will return to the old neighborhood in a couple of weeks. PFLAG is organizing a new chapter in my old hometown. The first meeting will be held in a church two blocks from my old home and right next to the grammar school where I was bullied for so many years.

It will be the first time in my old neighborhood presenting as a woman. How can I not go!

Alison Krauss

Michał Rudaś femulates on the Polish version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Legalization of anti-LGBTQ discrimination

Going backwards: Feds halt Obama administration’s attempt to protect the civil rights of transgender students.

A day after Christian conservative Jeff Sessions was sworn into office as Attorney General, the Justice Department quietly dropped the Obama administration’s attempt to secure civil rights for transgender individuals.

...

In reality, it is Republican lawmakers, and not transgender people, who are the real danger in public bathrooms. In fact, more GOP Lawmakers have been arrested for sexual misconduct in bathrooms than transgender people.

Bottom line: The Justice Department led by conservative Christian Jeff Sessions has declared open season on transgender students, and the federal government under Trump will do nothing to protect the civil rights of transgender individuals.

...

Meanwhile...

Donald Trump and Sen. Ted Cruz butted heads in the presidential primaries, but there’s one thing they can always agree on: discriminating against LGBTQ people under the guise of religious freedom. The First Amendment Defense Act (FADA), which Sen. Cruz is planning to introduce and Trump has said he will sign, codifies discrimination against LGBTQ people into federal law.

Republicans are playing a dangerous game with the lives of LGBTQ people. FADA is likely to be just one of many attacks from the Trump-Pence administration. Recently, a White House insider leaked a draft of an anti-LGBTQ executive order.

If signed, the order would create wholesale exemptions for people and organizations who claim religious objections to same-sex marriage, premarital sex, abortion, and trans identity.

Tell Congress: Don’t legalize anti-LGBTQ discrimination. Sign the petition here.

Sources: 

Michael Stone, "Trump’s Justice Department Abandons Transgender Kids," Progressive Secular Humanist, Feb. 12, 2017

Sarah Posner, "Leaked Draft of Trump’s Religious Freedom Order Reveals Sweeping Plans to Legalize Discrimination," The Nation, Feb. 1, 2017

"Tell Congress: Don’t legalize anti-LGBTQ discrimination," Credo Action, Feb. 13, 2017

Wearing Veronica Beard.

John Hurt femulates in the 1975 British television movie The Naked Civil Servant.

Less Payless (or Worse)

Bad news is that Payless shoes wants to close 1,000 of its stores and worse, bankruptcy could be an option for the chain if lenders don’t allow it to close those stores.

Payless is one of my favorite shoe stores. Their footwear is reasonably priced and they have a good selection of shoes in my size in both girl and boy mode. 

Payless BOGO (buy one, get one at half price) sales are my favorite. Sometimes I buy one pair of women's shoes and one pair of men's, but usually I buy two pairs of high heel pumps!

If Payless goes under, they will be sorely missed by me and many other transgirls with full-figured feet. I still miss Fashion Bug and I would hate to add another favorite retailer to my gone, but not forgotten list.

Wearing Boston Proper.

Mateusz Banasiuk Femulates Lady Gaga on the Polish version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Size Creep

When I was a young "dream girl" (dreaming that I was a girl), a "perfect size 12" was the ideal size for a woman to be.

Back then, size 12 was a 35-inch bust, 26-inch waist and 36-inch hip (35-26-36). No matter how much weight I might diet away, there was no way I could ever achieve a circa-1965 size 12. The size of my skeleton wouldn't permit it.

Due to size creep, today's size 12 is 39-31-41 (and the circa-1965 size 12 is now size 6)! A 31-inch waist and a 41-inch hip is possible (I am close to both today), but a 39-inch bust is out of reach unless I had some ribs removed and even then...

So instead of being a perfect size 12, I am a less than perfect size 14. But considering I used to be a size 20, I am a happy size 14 dream girl!

Wearing Metisu.

Diego Ramos and Fabian Vena in the Argentinian stage production of Casa Valentina.

He's "a perfect size 12"

I am trying to track down a comic book that contained a story with a crossdressing theme. I have mentioned this here in the past, but it has been a few years since the last mention, so I am mentioning it again in case any newer readers might be able to help.

The story was a parody loosely based on the James Bond 007 films. The spy in this parody was gay and named Jamie. In the story, Jamie goes to a hair salon unaware that the salon is run by the enemy.

While under the hair dryer, the hair stylist hypnotizes him and reveals his sub-conscious feelings that he really wants to be a woman. After undergoing hypnosis, Jamie admits to being "a perfect size 12."

He then undergoes a makeover and soon appears seated in the hair salon chair dressed as a pretty leggy blonde in a short dress and high heels exclaiming that he feels "fabulous!" (I know that feeling) while the other hair stylists gush over "her."

When Jamie returns to spy headquarters en femme, his superior is aghast, but he has a cure, i.e., a sexual encounter with a female. The plan works and the now heterosexual Jamie seeks out whoever was responsible for feminizing him. Turns out his mother, who heads up the enemy, was behind his feminization.

As you can imagine, I read that comic book over and over again and wished I could be so lucky as to walk into the enemy's hair salon.

This story appeared in a one-shot comic book in the mid- to late-1960s. I lost the book in a purge a long time ago. I have no idea who published it or what was the name of the comic book, but I do recall that the book contained two stories.

Unlike most comic books in which one story follows another consecutively, this book had two stories printed throughout the book concurrently with one story printed on the top half of the page and the second story printed on the bottom half of the page (the story I am interested in was the story on the top half of the page.)

This comic book included sex and nudity, so it was not likely found on the newsstand next to Archie, Superman and Little Audrey. I assume it was sold in "adult" shops.

If anyone can provide any other information about this comic book I would greatly appreciate it, so that I can track down a copy to add to my collection.)

Sound familiar? Let me know.

By the way, the image at the top of this post is Superman's "pal" and occasional "gal," Jimmy Olsen being fabulous in a 1973 issue of his comic book.

Wearing Emerson Thorpe dress, Rag & Bone coat, Aquazzura pumps and Dannijo earrings.

Mart Sander femulating on the Estonian version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.

Blushing Boy Bride

By Diana Grant

Thirty years or so ago, I went round the UK (sponsored by Fuji) to give seminars to my fellow professional photographers on how to photograph weddings.

There were three other English speakers and we each had a couple of models for practical demos. But also they brought in an American lady photographer whose belief was that all male wedding photographers should wear a wedding dress to experience what it is like! She had tried it once before, but it was not an idea that was well received by the UK audience.

She wanted to show the audience what she meant and needed a "willing" volunteer. As I was the only male photographer speaker who did not have a beard and was slim I was "persuaded" to do it. We had a dress supplier exhibiting, so I was fitted out, but just the dress. I would do my program, break for coffee, then get into the dress.

They did not give her and easy time, but in fairness to her, she was right. I did get a better understanding by wearing the wedding dress. Long trains do drag you back. This I conveyed to the audience – my honest photographer's opinion (not the TV version) as they had just heard me and seen my work, so they knew I would not mess about. During the lunch, I got some stick after changing back, but some seemed interested.

The first time was just the dress, but we had six seminar dates and thereafter, it went up a notch. I think she had guessed I liked it. Hence, the next time she asked if I would be prepared to make it more realistic. After some “fake” denials, I said, "Yes."

Would I be willing to do full lingerie, heels, the works and then the dress? Yes! I sort of gave it away when I was able to walk in 3-inch heels with considerable ease for the "first time." Oops!

Thereafter, they changed the running order: she came on first and I came on after lunch, so after breakfast, I was taken to the dressing room and made ready. Therefore, when it all started, I  was already in bride mode. She did her bit explaining her concept and then "one of our speakers has agreed to demonstrate." I walked on to a huge applause and the surprise. ( It felt good). She showed the heels (with stockings evident) as part of her explanation. Murmurs from the audience followed.

Millions of questions were asked, but she was good enough to tell them it was her idea for me to dress for her and go so far for realism. I did get some quizzing later.

The last seminar was in London and now the running order was established and worked like a dream. She did her bit and I was the bride. I had given up all pretense of not enjoying it and stayed as a bride as long as I could get away with it. But had to change back for my talk..

After my last program in the final seminar, the lady speaker asked me since I was obviously loving it, if I would like to be a bride properly? "Yes, please!" So soon I was back in all my wedding finery. This time though the makeup lady was ready with wig, veil and makeup. A couple of the models helped me out and we did some posing

One of the other pro photographers took some images for me and gave me the films to process.

For a few years after, I would get wise cracks from fellow pros who were there, but all in good humor.

At the time, I was out and about in public fully dressed and I was quite confident how I looked. But wearing the wedding dress as  a man in front of others the first time was something strange. Ironically, once I had all the lingerie and shoes on, I felt happier. I think it was because I was doing it for a reason, so it seemed right.

My obvious enjoyment from wearing the dress spoke volumes to the speaker! My plucked eyebrows and shaved body may have pointed her in the right direction, too.

Probably the only time I will ever be a true bride. It was fun and actually nice to recall.

Wearing SheIn.

Womanless wedding in Australia, circa 1960

Shopped ‘Til She Dropped

I never get tired of shopping for women’s clothing. Browsing through the racks and finding a half-dozen outfits to take to the changing room is just as much fun today as it was when I would browse through my mother’s closet and find outfits to try on in front of her full-length mirror.

Just writing about shopping motivates me to take a day off to go shopping. After all I do need something new to wear when I attend the upcoming trans conferences (as if I don’t already have a half-dozen dresses hanging in my closet that still have their price tags attached).

Someday my tombstone will read, “Shopped ‘Til She Dropped.”

Anyway…

“How can someone who is transgender shop for clothes in the women's clothing department/stores?” is a question that Quora readers took stabs at answering. The readers’ responses offered some good advice (read it here), but I wanted to add some of my own advice.

👩 If a store associate is available when going to the changing room to try on your finds, play dumb and ask where the changing rooms are located. I do this whenever possible for insurance purposes; if somebody complains about a dude in the lady’s dressing room, the dude can say that’s where the store associate told me to go.

👩 Take as many outfits as possible to try on when you go to the changing room. Some stores limit the number you can take in, some don’t, but in any case, go for the max in order to minimize the number of times you have to strip off your street clothes.

👩 Shop at smaller women’s clothing stores rather than big department stores. You won’t get a lot of hands-on assistance in large department stores, however, you usually will get assistance in smaller women’s clothing stores. For example, when you are ready to try on your finds, an associate may “start” a dressing room for you (your very own queendom) and sometimes they will even put a sign on the door reserving that room for you with your femme name emblazoned on the sign. If something is the wrong size, the associate will fetch another size to try on saving you the trouble of getting back into your street clothes to do the fetching yourself. Savvy associates will size you up and recommend clothing for you to try on (the polka dot dress I wore on this Christmas card was an associate’s recommendation; she even suggested accessorizing with red heels and a red bag, which I did).

👩 Speaking of street clothes, wear an outfit that you can strip off and put back on easily. I own a sweater dress that has a full-length zipper in front, which is perfect for quick undressing/dressing. Jumpsuits also work well.

👩 The associates want to sell, so if they compliment you on what you try on, take the compliment with a grain of salt. If you go shopping with a friend, your friend’s compliments may not be any more valuable than the store associate’s because your friend may not want to hurt your feelings. So here is a way I get an independent appraisal of what I am trying on… I step out of the dressing room on the pretense of viewing myself in the full-length mirrors usually hung throughout the store. My goal is for another customer to see me while I am doing this. If they gush over what I am wearing, it is a bingo! Whenever I have done this, other customers always check me out while I am checking me out and if they like what they see, they let me know.

👩 For a quick self-appraisal, take a selfie or have an associate take your photo. The difference between what you “see” in a mirror and what you “see” in a photo is surprising ― trust the photo, not the mirror. (Remember to turn off the flash if you take a selfie in the dressing room; you don't want to be accused of being a pervert taking photos of other customers.)

Shopping for women’s clothing is almost as much fun as wearing women’s clothing! So go girls and have some fun.

Wearing Rag & Bone blouse and Alexis skirt.

Brendan Jordan

Dressing Like a Human

Last week, I wrote that in my world, most women wear slacks, trousers, jeans, etc., rather than dresses and skirts, that is, garments that I am more likely to see on a transwoman than a cisgender woman (not that there is anything wrong with that). And I concluded that "I dress like a woman when I am in boy mode and I dress like a transwoman when I am in girl mode."

A few days later, a source who worked on Trump’s campaign revealed that the President "likes the women who work for him to dress like women. Women who worked in felt pressure to wear dresses to impress Trump.”

That notion was dismissed by many writers as being outmoded in this day and age when woman are on the front lines working along side their equals: men. Women are too busy getting the job done to be concerned with what a man deems to be proper attire for a working woman.

In light of this dispute, it is interesting to note that the redefinition of masculinity marches on.

Take a gander at how fashion designers are dressing men these days. At first glance, I thought I was viewing images from womenswear collections, when, in fact, I was looking at the latest in menswear (from Luomo Strano and Paloma Spain)!

Someday, a female president may prefer that the men who worked for her dressed like these men.

Wearing Metisu.

Matthew Banasiuk femulates Kylie Minogue on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

Mean Day

Monday is the "mean" day of the week because it means we go back to work or back to school after a two-day reprieve from our busy weekday lives. To ease the transition, I have a new collection of yearbook images of womanless events gathered up from online high school yearbooks by Starla, our intrepid online treasure huntress.

Photos like the one on the right from a 1987 high school Halloween party are now available on flickr, where you may view the new photos by opening one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z). There you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of each set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of each set.)

The contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Sacred Heart High School would be in the Yearbooks S set.

By the way, if you participated in your school's womanless beauty pageant or attended some other school activity en femme, I would love to post your photos along with any description you would like to provide. (No one has taken me up on this offer, so far, but I am hopeful and patient!)

Wearing Bric's Bellagio Collection.

Michalina Manios, Polish fashion model

Sunday is super in more than one way

First photo of me posted in Femulate.

Sunday is a big day.

It's Super Bowl Sunday and my favorite football team is in it!

Sunday is also the 10th anniversary of Femulate!

I cannot believe that I have been blogging Femulate for ten years. Where did the time go?

Reviewing my posts from 2007 when I started the blog was interesting and even revealing.

Back then, I still went by the name "Staci" and if anyone asked, I admitted to being a "plain vanilla crossdresser," but in my heart, I really thought I was a woman.

Would you believe that I did not post a photo of myself in the blog until seven weeks after starting Femulate!!!

During the first month, Femulate averaged 58 hits per day. During the first year, 250 hits per day. (Today, the blog averages 6,000 hits per day.)

Over ten years, Femulate has had its ups and downs and so have I. During the downs, I have considered giving up the blog and doing something else with my time. But about once a week, I receive an e-mail from a reader who thanks me for the blog.

Some readers remain closeted, but thank me for allowing them to escape from the closet vicariously through my adventures. Other readers say the blog helped them accept themselves and to begin living their lives outside the closet as the women they really are.

And so it goes.

Wearing Madeleine.

Kamil Bijos femulates Mariah Carey on the Polish version of television's Your Face Sounds Familiar.