In His Dreams

 

 

Femulating for Halloween, 2012.

 

Wearing Pink Tartan.

Over His Panties

 

 

Robert Gustavsson and Rickard Engfors femulating on Swedish television.

 

 

 

Wearing a dress I would love to wear!

Diary of a Male Housewife

Femulate is honored to post an excerpt from a forthcoming book, Diary of a Male Housewife, written by Jacqueline Andrews. In her soon-to-be published book, Jacqueline describes how a beta male found his niche in the 21st Century as a male housewife.

Clothing for Support

Although my outer wardrobe changes from day to day, what I wear underneath is very consistent: panty girdle and long-line bra. A transwoman who has lived full-time as a woman for nearly 20 years recommended this combination of underwear because those two foundation garments offer physical and psychological support.

The panty girdle flattens my front, keeps my boy parts tucked out of sight, rounds out my hips and derriere, and narrows my waistline. The bra pushes my boy boobs up and out to give me a small, but decidedly feminine bust. The bra also shapes the fat below my boobs and combined with the girdle, my physique is rearranged into a feminine figure.

Psychologically, wearing a bra sends feminine signals to my psyche that only a bra can transmit. Whereas fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg was quoted once proclaiming, "Feel like a woman. Wear a dress!" I prefer my friend Stana's proclamation, "Feel like a woman. Wear a bra!"

 

 

Actor Guillermo Díaz femulating in the 1995 film Stonewall.

 

 

 

Wearing Nina Ricci.

I Want to Play Cross!

“Crossplay… is cosplay in which the person dresses up as a character of a different gender. Crossplay's origins lie in the anime convention circuit, though, like cosplay, it has not remained exclusive to the genre.” (Source: Wikipedia)

When I was a kid, crossplay and cosplay did not exist and anime was foreign to me. Halloween was the closest thing to cosplay/crossplay that we had. As a fan of comic books and science fiction, monster, and adventure films, I put together Halloween costumes that reflected those interests.

One year I was the Frankenstein monster, another time I was the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Alfred E. Neuman made an appearance one year and I was a pirate twice on Halloween. My mother often helped me assemble my costumes and when I dressed as a pirate, she insisted that I wear gold hoop earrings as part of the costume. So on October 31, 1960, I had my first experience with clip-ons!

As a kid, I never Halloweened as the opposite gender. In my heart, I certainly wanted to femulate on October 31 and I am sure that my mother would have made me into a very authentic female, but I did not have the guts to do it.

My best friend did it one year and I was very jealous. He even suggested that we both go out as girls the following Halloween, but I still could not muster the courage. (By the way, I am sure that my best friend was trans. He probably suspected I was too and his Halloween invitation was an attempt to reach out to me. I so regret not accepting his invitation --- it would have been wonderful having a supportive sister while growing up.)

Five years later, I did have the courage and made my first of many Halloween appearances en femme, but that’s another story.

Getting back to crossplay --- if crossplay existed when I was in my late teens and early twenties, I think I would have participated and I’d probably attempt femulating Wonder Woman or Vampirella. Since I was able to pull off an authentic Playboy bunny, I think my Wonder Woman or Vampirella femulations would be good, too.

Wikipedia also has this to say about crossplay, “Male to Female crossplay is typically divided quite definitively into these two groups: those engaging in genderplay, and those attempting to pass as female. The stark contrast between these two groups is due largely to the social context surrounding the subject of male crossdressing. For most males, dressing in women's clothing is not something to be taken lightly, and so most crossplayers choose either to take the approach of ironic humor (intentionally not passing), or that of the masquerade (attempting to pass).”

Crossplay and cosplay is a young person’s game and I am way past being a young person, but I can look on and appreciate the efforts the male-to-female crossplayers and cosplayers and think about what might have been.

 

Three crossplayers attending a recent convention. Guess which ones are femulating.

 

Wearing Pink Tartan.

In My Shopping Cart

After all my success at the slot machines recently, I decided to treat myself. So i went shopping online and made the following purchases.

Nine West Love Fury "Pointy toe platform pump with all leather upper. 4.5" heel and 3/4" platform." I own this shoe in black patent and it is very comfortable. I have worn it for hours on end without a complaint. I wanted a closed-toe pump in nude, so I figured I could not go wrong with Nine West's Love Fury.
Nine West Sweetness "Mary Jane round toe pump with adjustable ankle strap on a 4" heel." Nine West was having a sale - free shipping and half off a pair of shoes when you bought two pairs - so when I bought Love Fury in nude, I looked around to see what I could buy at half price. I am a sucker for Mary Jane pumps and when I spotted this two-tone beauty, I could not resist and added it to my shopping cart.
Payless Kourtship Satin Sandal "It features a strappy upper, rhinestone accents, elastic ankle strap, padded footbed, 4" heel, 1/2" platform, and a sturdy outsole. Manmade materials." I will be attending One Big Event later this month and I plan to wear a $189 cocktail dress that I purchased for $10 on clearance from Spiegel. I did not have any shoes to go with the dress, so I bought these from Payless.  But now I wonder if I should wear the nude Nine West platform pumps instead. (The Spiegel model showing the dress is wearing nude pumps and they look great with the dress.)
Muse Colorblock Sheath Dress "Circular neckline, faux pockets below waist, back button closure, fully lined." I love this dress... especially its buttons! I was concerned that I would have a difficult time closing the buttons, but when the dress arrived from ideeli, I discovered that only the top three buttons are working buttons; the rest are just decorative. I can easily reach behind to close the top three buttons myself.
Avon Elements Moisture Boost Eye Cream "For both Normal and Combination Skin. Provides long-lasting moisturization. Suitable for sensitive skin. Hypoallergenic. Eye area feels hydrated and refreshed for hours." As an Avon representative, I received this as a sample and began using it about four weeks ago. I love this product and just ordered a second tube. I agree wholeheartedly with one reviewer who wrote, "It goes on nice and smooth but it is not oily or greasy (or drying either).  I've been using it every morning for a month now and I would highly recommend it" Also, by moisturizing the eye area, I find that it disguises the fine lines around my eyes; although the lines are still there, they are less noticeable.

 

SMAP, a Japanese boy band femulating as flight attendants.

 

 

 

Wearing Victoria’s Secret.

Hair Envy

I wish I had hair like her!

She is actress Rose Byrne and she always looks great in my opinion, but her new hair-do is just fabulous and I wish I could femulate it.

 

Actors Stefanie Powers, Boris Karloff and Robert Vaughn
in a 1966 episode of television’s The Girl From U.N.C.L.E.

 

Wearing Versace.

Halloween 1974

October is nearly half over and I have not broached the H subject --- until now. H, as in Halloween, is a day near and dear to the heart of femulators throughout Girl World

Early on, I used Halloween as an excuse to shop for my lady wardrobe.

"I'm going to a Halloween party dressed as a woman, so I need a... (fill in the blank with whatever I needed at the time: wig, bra, girdle, dress, high heels, makeup, purse, etc., etc., etc.)

I used that excuse a lot when I was still closeted. I dunno if I fooled any of the store staff with my Halloween story. Not many guys are going to spend $100 or more on a wig for one night, so something else must be going on.

At least once, I outed myself. I was 23 years old working in Kingston, New York, a couple of hours away from home and my stash of female finery. Halloween was coming up and I decided it was a perfect time to start my Kingston Kollection.

I found an old school lingerie store where I intended to buy an all-in-one. An older woman greeted me as I entered the store. I told her my Halloween story and added that I wanted an all-in-one.

That probably tipped my hand immediately; how many guys know what's an all-in-one.

The woman used a tape measure to take my measurements. Then she went in the back room and returned a few minutes later with two all-in-ones.

"Take these to the dressing room, try them on and call me so I can see if they fit properly."

I did not expect such a hands-on sale, but was glad to have it. I quickly stripped down to my briefs, zipped myself into my all-in-one and called for the saleswoman and by doing so, I tipped my hand again.

"Wow - that was quick," she remarked. (I assumed that her other male customers were not as fast as I when trying on their "first" all-in-one.)

She then checked me out and remarked that I had a real girlish figure. I tipped my hand again as my face turned beet red in embarrassment. Strike three --- I was out.

Couple gender exchange, Halloween 2011.

Wearing Express.

Friday's Femulator

A number of readers questioned the gender of Friday's Femulator.

I had minimal information about her except that the source was from a womanless beauty pageant. Her femulation was very good, but I thought she looked a little flat-chested, so I figured she was one of us.

Jackie did some legwork and found the womanless beauty pageant where Friday's Femulator appeared. Jackie wrote, "I think the womanless contestant is really a woman. Most likely, she is a local beauty queen that sang a song and crowned the winner and runner-up(s)."

I think Jackie is correct. If you view the whole set of photos from the pageant, you will see three photos of our Mystery Femulator performing. And a little further on, you will see four photos of our Mystery Femulator now wearing a tiara while crowning the contestants of the pageant.

I apologize for the error.

Nice Man-Bags, Boys!

This is not a “Stana original,” but it is a “Stana favorite” that I found on the Internet.
Source: http://genderrolereversal.tumblr.com/post/59682471721/the-new-dress-code

Best Fit

My mother raised my sister and I in the 1950s, while my father worked two jobs to finance our raising. With my male role model out of the picture (or out of focus) most of the time, my mother became my role model and as a result, instead of raising a son and a daughter, she raised two daughters.

The older daughter (me) was her favorite and received more attention; I was babied, pampered and spoiled, whereas my sister often had to fend for herself. As a result, I (the sissy nee "Momma's boy") turned out to be very feminine, whereas my sister(the "Daddy's girl") was more independent and assertive.

During the 1950s, "there were two distinct shapes, the waif like gamine figure epitomized in movies by Audrey Hepburn and the more womanly hourglass figure represented by Grace Kelly, with tiny waists, padded hips and circle skirts." (Source: Glamourdaze.com)

My mother was in the latter group and I found herself in that group. too! I assume extra estrogen is responsible for my hourglass figure and predisposed me to embrace the feminine environment I found myself in.

As I've written here before, I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.

Although I embraced things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies considered me to be effeminate.

I never tried to be feminine just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I was just being "me," which just happens to be considered “feminine” in the eyes of society.

I love all the female trappings; I love presenting as a woman and I am happiest when I am able to be a woman because it is the best fit for "me."

And so it goes.

 

Womanless beauty pageant contestant.

 

 

 

Wearing Rodebjer cape-coat, Harvey Faircloth shirred top, J Brand
skinny jeans, Jonathan Adler clutch and IRO pumps.

Looking for Answers on 14th Street

By Paula Gaikowski

Back before the term “transgender” was used, when men who wore dresses were called "faggot" and "pervert," I was a field engineer whose territory covered lower Manhattan.

Isolated, confused, and trans, I would sometimes stop and buy Drag magazine. I would read it hidden away in the back of a New York deli or sometimes take my lunch on a bench near Trinity Church in the shadow of the twin towers. Here in relative anonymity, I would enter into a world where there were others like me.

An advertisement in the back pages of Drag caught my eye and stuck in my mind for weeks, coaxing me to Lee’s Mardi Gras boutique a few blocks way.  

''Half of my clients are respectable-looking businessmen,'' Mr. Brewster said in an interview in The Village Voice, ''Very normal, but they know better than to present that side of themselves.''

I was one of those guys in a suit and tie, nodding and shyly going about my business! The neighborhood was in the meat-packing district and here we mean actual meat used in stores and restaurants --- no pun intended this time.

''He wanted people to have to find him. He tried to protect his customer base," said Antoinette Scarpinato, a former employee of Lee’s.

That’s for sure! The outside entrance was not obvious. A steel door with a 4-inch square window and a series of doorbells along the side. A visitor would have to read the list to find the scribbled name “Lee’s Mardi Gras,” then ring the bell.

As you waited there for a response, rugged swarthy men wearing blood-covered overalls lugged hand carts with sides of beef while loading trucks across the street.  All the while I remember thinking that they all knew why I was there, and what “I was,” and I just knew that they were laughing and mocking me silently.

The first time, I chickened out and ran before someone answered. Next time, a few months later, I waited and a voice crackled over the intercom and assured me that they would be downstairs soon. I remember the woman who came to greet me was very pretty, but knowing the context of the venue, I was sure she was transgender.

The steel door slammed shut behind us. It was dark and smelled dank and musty. It was that New York City smell and was ironically comforting because it reminded of my grandmother's basement in Greenpoint Brooklyn except this wasn’t Babcia leading me down the hallway. This exotic woman led me to an antiquated closet-sized elevator. The door closed, then it rattled and coughed its way upward.

The whole time I kept stealing glances at her. I was in awe of her as if she were a movie star.

The door opened to stylish boutique. The shop was nicely done up in an urban loft setting with brick walls and the merchandise neatly displayed. She was kind, helpful, and comforting and put me at ease.

This was the first transgender person I ever met and it was the first time I ever told someone that I was also transgender.

Together we picked out a wig. It was my first one, auburn in color and in a 1990’s big hair style. She coached me how to style it and gave me one bit of important advice that I still remember. “Whether you want to be a queen on stage or one of those pretty girls you see on Wall Street, it takes work. They all work very hard to look good.”

I would go back a few times a year, not because I needed to buy anything, but because of the acceptance I felt while being there. Lee’s was an oasis for me back then.

Over the next few years, I met Lee on several occasions at the store and also at his bookstore near the Port Authority Bus Terminal. He understood the conundrum we married men in suits and ties struggled with and kindly offered support and guidance.

Today I’ve reached a point of self-acceptance and don’t really care what swarthy meat packers or store clerks think.

It’s astonishing to realize that a few short years ago transgender people needed to shop in clandestine boutiques and that support groups operated with cloak and dagger secrecy. Thanks to the support of Lee and others pioneers, today I go out and shop in mainstream stores and hold my head high. Now we are seeing cities and states passing transgender protection laws, the EOC has ruled that transgender people are protected, major corporations include transgender people in their diversity statements.

Among the corporations that expanded their medical insurance for transgender people are Apple, Chevron, General Mills, Dow Chemical, American Airlines, Kellogg, Sprint, Levi Strauss, Eli Lilly, Best Buy, Nordstrom, Volkswagen (US division), Whirlpool, Xerox, Raytheon, and Office Depot.

The struggle for transgender rights is far from over. I urge us all to remember that each and every one of us is a role model, advocate, and educator. You don’t need to be highly visible or carry a sign in the Pride parade. We must be thankful for people like Lee Brewster, but you can do something as simple as supporting a girlfriend with a kind e-mail or standing up against a bigoted transgender remark at work.

Slowly, but surely attitudes will change and people will be educated, then hopefully others will no longer need to feel the isolation, guilt, shame, and  struggle as many of us did searching for answers in Drag magazine or in a loft on 14th Street.

 

Professional femulators of Le Carrousel in Paris, 1960.

 

 

 

Wearing Kate Spade.