Thursday morning

A Couple of Things

My Trip

I completed the first leg of my trip, 466 miles in 7-1/2 hours and I am in a hotel on the Ohio side of the Ohio-Pennsylvania border.

I had some MacDonalds cuisine this evening, then painted my toe nails "Innocent Nude" to match my Kiss stick-on finger nails.

After I post this missive, I will trim my eyebrows and go to bed.

Disappearing flickr Account

Many of you have e-mailed me about the disappearance of the flickr account I referred to in Monday's post.

I know nothing about its disappearance and only regret that it did not disappear before I posted about it!

A few people mentioned that this same individual deleted his/her flickr account before, so maybe, it will have a third life.  

My Plans en femme

(I will likely be on the road heading west when you read this.)

Here is my itinerary for my trip to Hamvention in Dayton, Ohio.

Wednesday - I will drive about 8 hours and spend the night somewhere near the western Pennsylvania border.

Thursday day -After a "leisurely" four-hour drive to Dayton, I will check into my hotel south of the city. After I freshen up, I plan to meet up with Cyrsti Hart (of Cyrsti's Trangender Condo fame) for coffee.

Thursday night - I will attend my ham radio group's board of directors meeting, where dinner will be served and where I serve as the group's secretary. (I got the job because I am a writer, not because of my legs.) 

Friday day - At Hamvention all day, I will staff my group's booth, see the sights, and attend presentations, workshops, and forums.

Friday night - I will attend my ham radio group's annual Hamvention banquet. After the banquet, I will go to a party that one of my Femulate readers invited me to attend. (Like most conventions, there are parties every night in every hotel where the hams are staying.)

Saturday day - Same as Friday: I will be at Hamvention all day.

Saturday night - I will attend a ham radio banquet that I have never attended before.

Sunday - I will drive 750 miles/12 hours to my home.

From past experience, I know that my full schedule will not allow me to do much blogging. I will likely post a few words and a few photos. After my return trip, I promise you lots of words to tell the whole story.

 

Actor Jai Rodriguez femulating in television’s Harry’s Law, 2011.

 

Wearing Rachel Zoe wedges.

Updates

Your Suggestions 

You may have noticed that I have already implemented some of your suggestions.

>   I changed the blog's background color and fonts to improve readability.

>   I completely revised the mobile version of the blog to make it more useable.

>   I updated the "femulator archive" (formerly, "the femulated archive"). It now contains 233 images of femulators in films and television shows.

>   Your suggestions concerning topics to broach are on my to-do list and I will address them real soon now.

Thank you for all your suggestions and please keep them coming.

Pass/Fail

I was overwhelmed by your support regarding my ability to pass. Thank you sincerely. During the next few days, I will try to live up to all your kind words!

Go West, Young Lady

My 750-mile roadtrip to Hamvention begins early tomorrow morning.

I packed on Sunday and managed to get most of my female wardrobe (including six pairs of shoes) into one garment bag. A suitcase contains the overflow (my jewelry, wigs, toiletries, etc.) and a minimal male wardrobe. In addition, I have my makeup tackle box and my computer bag.

After reading all your suggestions about just bringing my iPhone in lieu of a camera and computer, I decided to bring everything since (as at least one reader suggested) I am driving myself and have room to spare.

Wish me "bon voyage!"

Swedish professional femulator Rickard Engfors modeling Panos swimwear, circa 2004.

Wearing Spiegel.

Male Pageant Queens and Princesses

A few readers alerted me to a collection of womanless beauty pageant photos on flickr that gets bigger and better every time I see it.

I have seen some of the images elsewhere in the past and some of the images have appeared in Femulate, but a lot of the images are new to me and definitely worth checking out if you appreciate that sort of thing (and if you are reading this, I imagine that you do appreciate that sort of thing).

So visit John Jay Smith's flickr site and see over four thousand images!

Femulating Jhoana Reis, Miss Gay Texas, circa 1969.

Wearing Helmut Lang (vest), Equipment (blouse) and Clover Canyon (skirt).

Happy Mother's Day

(I have told this story here on past Mother's Days, so you may have read it before and I apologize for the rerun. But just like the reruns on television, some are worth repeating.)

Mom was the most influential person in my life and influenced my penchant for crossdressing in a number of ways.

She was beautiful and did not need makeup. Lipstick, powder, and rouge were all she ever used. I know because I enjoyed watching her put on her minimal makeup.

She always dressed like a fashionable lady and that was difficult to accomplish because money was tight when I was a kid. As a result, Mom sewed her own clothes, as well as clothes for my sister.

I guess I was jealous of my sister and wished that Mom would sew something for me, but there were few sewing patterns for boys' clothing. However, I would have been perfectly happy if she sewed a pretty dress for me like she did for my sister.

My Dad was a great guy, but he was not around much when I was growing up. He worked all the overtime he could get to make ends meet. For a few years, he also had a second job.

I can remember way back to my earliest memories when I actually thought that my father was a visitor because his appearances at home during my waking hours were so rare. So, during my formative years, Dad was at work, while my Mom was at home raising my sister and me.

Since I was raised in an environment where the father figure was absent most of the time, it is no wonder that I tended to follow in the footsteps of the only parental figure available to me, my Mom. As a result, I admired her and wanted to do the things she did. I did not know it at the time, but she was my role model.

I was a creative kid and Mom encouraged my creative side. I loved sports, especially baseball, but I was not very good at it (I could hit the ball a mile, but I threw "like a girl"). So early on, I knew where my strengths laid.

I spent a lot of time writing and drawing and my mother supported and encouraged me. Eventually, I became a successful professional writer with a lot of thanks going to Mom.

I looked like my Mom's side of the family and inherited many of her features like her long legs and her facial features. When I do my makeup just so, I look a lot like her; people would mistake us for mother and daughter, i.e., if she were alive and I dressed en femme in her presence.

Besides influencing my creative side, she also influenced my penchant for being feminine.

Mom often commented that because I had such nice legs, I should have been a girl. If she had made that comment once, I probably would have forgotten about it, but it seemed to me that she made that comment whenever she saw my legs bare. Don't you think that may have influenced me?

She also made comments about the way I walked. She said I "tippy-toed," i.e., I walked on my toes. I assumed from her comments that tippy-toeing was not the correct way for a male to walk, but I did not know how to walk any other way. She never showed me how I was supposed to walk, so I just kept on tippy-toeing.

I don't tippy-toe any longer. As I grew older, I must have figured out how to walk like a male. However, all my early years tippy-toeing may have facilitated my walking in high heels because ever since I slipped on my first pair of pumps, I never had a problem walking in heels.

I did not think that Mom knew about my crossdressing, because she never broached the subject despite the fact that I often got into her stuff and even ruined some items that I found out the hard way, were too small for me. I was very much in the closet then and I was just as happy that she did not know. But, she knew.

As newlyweds, my wife and I crossdressed for a Halloween party and when I mentioned our party plans to Mom over the phone, she asked if I had taken my box of "stuff" with me when I moved out.

I don't recall my response, but at that moment, I knew she knew. She never mentioned it again and neither did I.

However, once in awhile right up to her death, she would ask me, "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I always thought she was referring to my crossdressing when she asked and I always said, "No."

In retrospect, I wish I had confided in Mom about me becoming a woman. She was so loving and so supportive that I think she would have helped me. (She was a great seamstress by the way and I can only dream about the outfits she might have sewn for her male daughter.) But, I did not confide in her and I regret it now.

But, if there is a heaven, I am sure Mom smiles down on me when she sees her firstborn dressed en femme enjoying her time as a woman.

So, Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

Your Loving Daughter,

Stana

Clothes Make the Man

Failing to Pass

Comments to Wednesday's post included one that suggested that I not go to Hamvention because "you really don't pass as well as you think you do." My retort is, "How do you know? Have you seen me drive?" To tell the truth, I seldom pass and prefer to stay in the right lane on the highway. I only pass when I absolutely have to. So even if the commenter did see me driving, chances are that he did not see me pass because I seldom do.

Actors Gus Schilling and Joe E. Brown femulating with Judy Canova in the 1943 film Chatterbox.

 

Wearing Stretta.

Your Turn

Any suggestions?

I like writing this blog and I assume people like reading it with over 7 million hamburgers sold.

Can I do better?

Is there anything I can do here that would increase the value of reading this blog for you?

I am always open to your suggestions, so please leave comments below or, if you prefer, e-mail me by clicking on the "send me e-mail" link below my mug shot (above right).

I look forward to reading and implementing your suggestions, so have at it!

flickr Update

Good news: the Femulate flickr account is fixed again! I hope the fix sticks.

 

Actors Allan Zinyk and Peter Jorgenson femulating on the Canadian stage in Leading Ladies, 2008.

 

Wearing Dsquared2 (cardigan), Splendid (blouse) and Robert Rodriguez (skirt).

Gadgets

Now that I own an iPhone, I am considering not lugging my laptop and digital camera to Dayton.

With my iPhone, I can write and post to my blog, do e-mail, and take photos.

If I bring my digital camera to take photos for blog posts from Dayton, then I have to bring my laptop because it is my only gateway for transferring photos from my camera to the blogosphere. Bringing the camera and laptop also necessitates bringing their battery chargers, a spare camera battery, a cable to connect the two, and a bag to carry the laptop.

I can type faster and more accurately with my laptop, but to tell the truth, during Hamvention there is not much time to blog. I usually post a few words and a photo each day, which is as easy as pie with my iPhone.

What would you do?

Words of Wednesday

flickr… Argh!

My flickr account is messed up again. It was reset to free status and 200 images maximum a few days ago. I have a new complaint into flickr and hope the problem will get fixed once and for all or I will take my business elsewhere.

Off Broadway

Aunty Marlena alerted me to a new off-Broadway dance, Summer's Different, about a married with children transwoman. Here is the New York Times review of the dance.

My Dance Card is Filling Up

Yesterday afternoon, I was invited to a party after my ham radio group's banquet next Friday at Hamvention. The party is at a hotel 7 miles from the banquet hall, so I am definitely stopping by.

Google Hitchcock

If you are a fan of Alfred Hitchcock films like I am, visit Google today and view their video honoring Saul Bass, Hitchcock's master of film titles. It is very cool!

 

Advertisement for comedian Tim McNiven’s UK stand-up show Emasculated, 2012.

 

 

 

Wearing Alice + Olivia (top), Love Letter (skirt), and Marc by Marc Jacobs (bag).

Something Different Again

Yesterday, I wrote about my plans attending the Hamvention in Dayton, Ohio, next week and how I was doing something different on Saturday evening, that is, attending a banquet I never attended before.

As I wrote yesterday, "Perusing the guest list posted on the Internet, I know only one of the attendees, an officer of the host group, who I have exchanged e-mails with in the past. (Maybe I will drop him a note to let him know I am coming.)"

I did e-mail him yesterday morning to let him know I was attending the banquet, that I am trans, and that I planned to attend en femme.

I waited anxiously all day for a reply and as time passed with no reply, I began thinking the worst.

At about 8 PM, I finally received a reply. The replay started with "Hi Stana." He had always addressed me by my male name in the past, so I thought that was a good sign and it was. He was very gracious, looked forward to seeing me and invited me to sit at his table.

And so it goes.

By the way, that’s me in the photo above at my group’s booth before the start of Hamvention last year. And just so there is no confusion, I wanted to make it clear that I am not the blond wearing the black low-cut dress in the photo accompanying yesterday's post. LOL!

 

The femulating cast of another local production of Pageant, The Musical.

 

Wearing Alice & Olivia.

Something Different

I am jazzed about attending Hamvention next week. The opportunity to live as a woman full-time at an event I truly enjoy is one of the highlights of my year.

A lot of the things I do during the Hamvention are routine: Thursday evening is my group's board meeting, daytime Friday and Saturday I am a “booth babe” at the convention, and Friday night I attend my group's banquet.

Saturday night is different. In 2010 and 2011, I attended the Contest Dinner, a banquet hosted by a ham radio contest club that attracts a huge contingent of famous radio contesters and wannabes. In 2012, I attended a cook-out hosted by one of the other directors of my group.

My comfort level the first year attending the Contest Dinner was very good because I was sitting with my editor and her friends. She watched my back just in case, but everything went smoothly.

My comfort level the second year attending the Contest Dinner was very good because of my experience the year before. However, I was on my own (my editor did not attend) and I sat with a group of strangers, who turned out to be a bunch of idiots. They treated me as a lady (no problem there), but they were loud and obnoxious (possibly drunk), and it was embarrassment sitting at their table.

At the cook-out last year, my comfort level was extremely high because I already knew most of the people in attendance.

I thought about attending the Contest Dinner again this year. The meal was excellent in the past and they give away so many prizes that half the attendees win something. But always looking to push the envelope, I decided to do something different this year and I am attending a banquet hosted by another ham radio group on Saturday evening .

Perusing the guest list posted on the Internet, I know only one of the attendees, an officer of the host group, who I have exchanged e-mails with in the past. (Maybe I will drop him a note to let him know I am coming.)

So my comfort level is zero, I will be a little nervous, but I will be breaking new ground and that's the way I like it.

 

  

The femulating cast of a local production of Pageant, The Musical.

 

Wearing Elle Tahari.

And they look a lot like their father.

Next, let’s get our nails done!

Back in Business

Thanks to Galen’s comment to my flickr fouled-up post, I learned that if I renewed my flickr Pro account even after my previous Pro account expired, all my previously uploaded images will be restored.

So, I renewed again paying via PayPal without incident and the 3,000 Yearbook Femulation images were restored.

Yay!

 

 

 

 

Actors John J. Joseph (left) and David Engel (center) femulating
in the Los Angeles production of Leading Ladies, 2012.

 

Wearing Zenobia.