shall we dance en femme?

This might be old news to you who watch reality TV, i.e., crossdressing contestants on the ABC series Shall We Dance?

I don't watch reality television, so I missed them, but discovered their videos on YouTube last night. I am mentioning them here in case anyone else missed them, too.

men have L'eggs, too!

As usual, click on the image to enlarge it.

what did I see last night?

(updated below)

I like The Office and love 30 Rock, but they are in rerun like everything else this time of year, so I did not pay a lot of attention to the television last night. Instead, I perused the newest addition (Volume 7) of the Complete Chester Gould's Dick Tracy series, which arrived at my home yesterday.

Almost every volume of the series contains a crossdressing bit and Volume 7 did not disappoint with a series of panels showing two hoods disguised in early 1940's drag. All the crossdressing in Dick Tracy makes me wonder: (1) is crossdressing a common disguise used by hoods or (2) did Chester Gould have a special interest in crossdressing?

Anyway, I was half-watching the television while The Office and 30 Rock were on and not watching much at all during commercials. But my T-Dar (trans-radar) is always on and it caused me to look up and catch half of a commercial.

The commercial showed a race car at a pit stop. The driver was a woman in race car drag. The pit crew were men wearing cropped tops, mini-skirts, and black high heel pumps. Their legs were shaved and their bodies looked hairless, too.

I think they were advertising a mobile phone, but I am not sure because I was so surprised with what I was seeing that I did not pay attention to what was being said.

Has anyone else seen this commercial? If so, please pass along the details that I missed.

UPDATE: Elaine identified the advertisement as a Boost Mobile commercial with Indy 500 driver Danica Patrick and I found the commercial online here.

a new pocketbook

I returned the jacquard zebra dress to Kohl's today. That gave me $40.80 in store credit plus I had two discount coupons totaling $15, so this girl had to shop albeit en homme.

I browsed the dresses, but there was nothing I really wanted. Then I looked at pocketbooks.

Just like a woman, I buy mass quantities of shoes and pocketbooks and I found one that I liked a lot: a Daisy Fuentes stitch hobo bag that had an art deco look to it.

It listed for $58, but was on sale for $34.80. With my $15 discount coupons, it cost only $20.99.

After paying for it, I was tempted to walk out of the store with it on my shoulder wearing it as a "manbag" to see what reaction I might get. But I decided against it because the store is close to my workplace and there is always the possibility that I might run into somebody I know.

Daisy Fuentes

Minutes after publishing my Bonnie Hunt post, I received a comment from Coleen saying that I looked terrific in my Daisy Fuentes dress.

Since I was in a Famous Females of Height frame of mind, I wondered about Daisy Fuentes' height. So, I Googled her height and she is 5' 9" tall, so I added her to my Famous Females of Height list.

Bonnie Hunt

I always liked the multi-talented Bonnie Hunt. In films or television, the attractive Chicago-native was always entertaining and often very funny.

My spouse is a big fan of Ms. Hunt's current talk show and minutes ago, we were trying to guess her age. To settle the discussion, I looked Ms. Hunt up on the Internet and turns out that she is 48, going on 49 in September. It also turns out that she is 5' 8" tall and deserving of a spot on my Famous Females of Height list.

Newcomers to this blog may wonder how my Famous Females of Height list relates to the topic of this blog, femulation. Here is a quick explanation:

The average female is not as tall as the average femulator. That height discrepancy might prevent some femulators from going out in public en femme because they feel that they are too tall to pass as a female.

The purpose of my Famous Females of Height list is to show that there really are tall genetic women out there, and therefore, height should not be a factor that prevents femulators from going out en femme.

boys' clothes

“That’s the way it is and you will just have to get used to it,” she explained.

“But, I prefer to wear girl’s clothes,” I insisted.

“I know, sweetheart, but now it’s against the law for boys to dress like girls.”

“But, I don’t know how to wear boy’s clothes,” I responded.

“Well, I’ll help you,” she said.

Most boys were already wearing boys’ clothes, but I was a stubborn little boy and would turn on the tears whenever she suggested I begin dressing like a boy. Until now, my tears had been successful, but they would not help me anymore because today the anti-female impersonation law went into effect, which ruled that boys had to dress like boys, not girls.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” she insisted.

Boys I knew who were already dressing like boys did get used to it after awhile, and many of them even liked it.

“Now, take off your clothes and I will help you get dressed,” she said.

“And that's an order,” she added.

I quickly removed all my clothes and put them in a pile in the middle of the bedroom.

Next, she handed me the first item of boy’s clothing to put on.

“Tell me if you need any help,” she proffered.

One-by-one, she handed me another item of boy’s clothing to put on and surprisingly, I needed very little help.

She insisted on showing me how to put on the pantyhose because, “You don’t want to run your very first pair.”

Other than that, I only asked for her assistance twice: to help me close the hooks on my bra and to button up the back of my dress.

too small on bottom: tight jeans, a health risk

Five-inch stilettos, too-heavy handbags, a wedding dress that seemingly weighed as much as a small child — Parmeeta Ghoman admits she’s no stranger to suffering for fashion. “I’m the kind of person who buys shoes two sizes too small just because they’re cute — and they’re on sale,” says Ghoman, who's 28 and lives outside of San Francisco.

But when she wore a pair of super-tight skinny jeans to dinner with friends in December, she noticed an odd tingly sensation running up and down her thighs. And when she got up to walk around, things got weirder. She felt like she was almost "floating," because she couldn't feel her legs. “It felt really strange — it felt like my leg had gone to sleep,” Ghoman says.

Ghoman’s skin-tight denim may have caused a temporary bout of a nerve condition called meralgia paresthetica, also known as “tingling thigh syndrome.” The condition can happen when constant pressure — in Ghoman's case, from the skin-tight denim — cuts off the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve, causing a numb, tingling or burning sensation along the thigh.

Read the rest of the story here.

too big on top / too small on top

I am too big on top or the dress I bought at Kohl's last week is too small on top. Either way, I will return the dress for a refund.

I loved the dress and I wanted to keep it. So, I tried it on with two different bras, as well as braless, but no matter what I tried, it was too tight in the bust area.

The dress does not come in a larger size and there is no way I can reduce my size enough for it to fit without removing a rib or two, so I will reluctantly return it to Kohl's this week.

Funny story: I went shopping at a different Kohl's store on Saturday and saw a rack full of that dress with the hangars marked with the dress sizes. I was overjoyed when I saw sizes larger than the size 16 I bought that did not fit, so I asked a Kohl's employee if the store would hold a dress for me while I returned home to get the dress I bought and bring it in for an exchange.

The helpful store employee asked me which dress I wanted them to hold, so I went to the rack and removed one marked "XL." The woman looked at the dress and asked quizzically, "Size 6?"

"Size 6, no it's an extra-large."

Then I realized the hangars had nothing to do with the actual dress size. Whoever racked the dresses did not pay any attention to discrepancies between the dress size and the size printed on the hangar. The largest size that dress came in was still the size 16 that did not fit.

Darn! For a minute there, I thought I had a solution to my tight fit!

a forgetful day

As usual, click on the image to magnify it.

to pass or not to pass

As usual, click on the image to enlarge it.

getting unstuck

As usual, click on the image to enlarge it.

liking Kohl's

I went to Kohl's during my lunch hour to exchange a watch that I gave to my wife as a Mother's Day gift. There were lots of discounts throughout the store, so after the exchange, I shopped for girl mode in boy mode.

First, I looked for a belt to go with my beige cropped pants and found a perfect match, a $24 belt on sale for $12.

Next, I looked at dresses and reconsidered a Dana Buckman jacquard zebra dress in brown and white. I had eyed the dress last time I was in the store, but now it was on sale, an $80 dress for $48. I had a 15% discount coupon in hand, so how could I resist; the dress would cost only $40.80 and the belt only $10.20; that's $104 list price for $51.

Coincidentally, I was pining here yesterday for a jacquard dress and today, I found one! The dress fits like a glove and the hem lands about two inches above the knee. It is very cute!

I feel good

I feel real good about myself.

I thought I would say that because after reading the words of many blogs and Web pages in Transylvania, you get the notion that we are all sad sacks in drag.

Sure, things could be better. I could be 20 years younger, 20 pounds lighter, and $20 million richer, but I am not going to dwell on those things because I am very happy being a mature woman, who wears a girdle, and pays a mortgage.

I am always happy to help our cause and I think I helped it a little bit last Saturday when I assited a newbie to get out for the first time in the world en femme. In my mind, that little push is all she needed to successfully blossom into the woman she wants to be.

Also on Saturday evening, a very attractive young woman asked me to dance. That never happened to me before and I was thrilled! I will never know why she asked me to dance, but it had to be for a positive reason, not a negative one. Whatever... It made me feel very good about myself.

Almost a week later, I am still riding the highs of Saturday and I feel wonderful!

call me Rachel

jacquard: one of my first loves in fashion

Back in the 1960's, Mom owned a dress very similar to the Dolce & Gabbana "Jackie" silk dress pictured on the left (item number 245437 for $3,550 at Nordstrom).

I dunno if Mom's dress was made of silk and I dunno how much she paid for it; in fact, she may have sewn it herself, but I do know Mom's dress looks a lot like the Dolce & Gabbana dress with a jacquard pattern atop a sleek white shift dress.

I loved Mom's jacquard dress and wore it often when I was crossdressing home alone. It fit like the proverbial glove and I loved the way it looked on me.

Ever since wearing that dress, I have had an affinity for jacquard patterned dresses, but I have had limited success in purchasing a jacquard dress for myself.

The closest I came to obtaining a duplicate of Mom's dress was a dress I won in an eBay auction. The dress (pictured on the right) is a white jacquard shift just like Mom's dress, but it is much shorter and a little tighter (smaller); so much so that I have never worn it out.

I don't mind the short hem so much, but I do mind the tightness. If I lose ten pounds or so, maybe I will wear it out.

womanless pageant news

This just in from our Womanless Pageant Hotline correspondent, Laurie...

"Here's another womanless beauty pageant. Most of these guys don't look too good. But the winner is truly a winner!"

This womanless pageant occurred at the New Augusta (MS) Elementary School and I have to agree with Laurie that the winner was outstanding in the field of contestants.

And, in case you missed it, they crowned Sorrawee Nattee as the winner of the Miss Tiffany's Universe 2009 pageant last week in Pattaya, Thailand.

spring cleaning

I cleaned up the link lists in the right hand column of this page, deleting dead links, updating changed links, and adding new links.

Saturday salsa redux

A reader requested more photos from Saturday night, so here is another that came close to a wearing-a-lampshade-on-my-head photo!

In this photo, I am resting a few moments before going out on the town.

By the way, I love the dress I am wearing and plan to take it on my NYC trip next month.

Saturday salsa

I had a wonderful night out en femme in Dayton, Ohio, Saturday evening.

Searching the Internet to find a nice venue for Saturday evening, I found Therapy Cafe, which looked like a cool place and was billed as LGBT-friendly, too.

I invited three friends to join me on my night out: Jade Catherine and her spouse Christie, who had been a part of my previous Dayton outing in 2007, and Edie, a trans-friend from Toledo, who would be making her debut out en femme.

After spending another exhaustive day at the Hamvention, I returned to my hotel room at 5 PM to get ready. I was in girl mode at 7 PM and phoned Edie to get the show on the road.

Edie was staying in the same hotel as I, so I met her in her room for our first face-to-face meeting. I had never seen a photo of Edie, so I did not know what to expect. Turns out she had just had a makeover at Sephora and she looked great!

After chatting awhile, we hit the road. Edie kindly drove because with 20,000 hams in town, I was a little fearful of driving en femme with my amateur radio call sign emblazoned on my vehicle's license plate.

Therapy Cafe looked inviting, although it was almost devoid of customers. It was 8 PM and the sun had not set, so the nightowls were not out yet. (Dayton is near the west end of the Eastern Time Zone and as a result, the sun sets late there - 8:47 PM on Saturday night, to be exact.)

We found a centrally located table surrounded by cushy couches and settled in for the evening. The waiter was friendly, treated us like ladies, and took our order.

We chatted, drank wine, and munched on pizza as more customers filed in. About 8:30 PM, Jade Catherine and Christie joined us to complete our party. Meanwhile, the DJ revved up the salsa and many female customers danced while the male customers gawked.

A group of six young 20-something women were seated at the table next to us and some of them greeted and smiled at us as they went back and forth between the dance floor to their table. Finally, one woman came over to our table to ask if we wanted to dance.

I had never danced salsa before, but I jumped at the invitation. My dance partner said she would show me how to do salsa; so, on the dance floor, I followed her moves and after the song was over, she said I did fine. I was ready to dance some more, but the majority had had enough of the loud music and decided to go next door for dessert at a wine bar.

It was getting late, so I followed their lead and we were soon seated in more cushy couches munching on a variety of sumptuous desserts. I ordered "crustless" pie (I love pie) and it was probably one of the best pies I have ever eaten!

By now, it was getting close to turning into pumpkin time, so we exchanged hugs with Jade Catherine and Christie, then Edie drove back to our hotel and we called it a night.