Friends of a Feather

In the past, I wrote here about my grammar school friend who I suspected was trans (click here to read “Where's Billy”). But I never wrote about my high school friend who I also suspected was trans.

I went to a public grammar school and to a Catholic high school. A couple of girls from grammar school made the switch to my Catholic high school (Hi, Deborah and Susan), but not one of the guys did so from the get-go, I had no male friends as a freshman in high school.

How do you make friends in high school? I don’t recall how I did it, but I made a lot of friends and a few are still friends today. One friend, Mike, was a tall, good-looking guy with a great sense of humor. I figured him for a girl-magnet, but I think he was as shy of girls as I was.

By high school, I was aware of transvestites and I was pretty sure I was a member of that club. The terms “crossdresser” and “transgender” were not in use back then. It was either “transvestite” or “transsexual” and I was pretty sure I wasn’t transsexual – at least, I convinced myself that I wasn’t a transsexual.

Anyway, by high school I was very aware of transvestites and always had my trans-radar powered-up in case I had any encounters of the trans-kind. And more than once, my trans-radar switched to full alert by things my friend Mike said – innocent comments, but revealing that like me, Mike was familiar with the territory.

After school, we parted ways, but since we lived in the same town, I would run into him occasionally. One time was a pulling-the-cat-out-of-the-bag moment. 

I was in a check-out line at a local discount department store and I noticed Mike and his wife in the next check-out line. As I was about to call out his name and say hello, I noticed what he was purchasing – four or five woman’s dresses. His wife looked unhappy and disinterested and just stood in line watching him unload the dresses from the shopping cart, put them on the check-out conveyor belt and pay for the dresses. She. I did not attempt to speak to him because I did not want to embarrass him in case my trans-radar was correct. And I don’t know if he saw me in the next check-out line.

Since then, I only ran into him at wakes for the passing of mutual acquaintances. And each time, we talked about the good old days, but not a hint about the topic of trans.

And so it goes.

Wearing Shein

David L Lander and Michael McKean femulating on television’s Laverne & Shirley.

Stuff 61: Living on a Blue Island in a Red Sea

By J.J. Atwell

Caution, Politics Ahead!

I try to stay away from politics when I write my posts for Stuff, but I’m afraid I can’t write around it for today’s comments. From the title you can probably tell that I live in what’s known as a “red state.” The state’s electoral votes went to the republicans. Our governor ran against the new guy in the primaries at times attempting to be even more extreme than the rest of them. He even picked a fight with Disney. So the general atmosphere of this state is very “conservative.”

But I live in the central part of the state and there are a lot of residents that are from more progressive parts of the country. In addition, there is a huge theme park industry that drives the tourism business in this state. The theme parks employ a lot of people in the area with estimates of over 100,000 currently. And that doesn’t count the ancillary businesses that exist to service the theme parks and the people who come to visit them. So you would expect this would be a welcoming space. 

How Welcoming?

Good question. I know a lot of “T” people who are afraid to come to my state because of what they perceive as a hostile environment. I certainly understand their concern. But I’m not sure that’s true of my blue island. The theme parks actively encourage those in the LGBTQ+ to work for them. They don’t discriminate against those of us who are part of that universe. Additionally, the municipalities in the area post on social media regularly about their outreach programs and how they educate their people to deal respectfully with our community. 

Having said that, let me turn to a more personal perspective. Readers of Femulate have had the benefit (?) of following my Stuff since July 2023 and this is installment number 61 of Stuff. Over the course of that time, you may have read about my joining a local CD group. My first scary steps out of the house. Making friends with others and becoming more active in the club. This year, I’m vice president of my CD group. I tell you all of this so you’ll understand why I’m writing today. 

Are We Changing?

Part of my duties as VP is to grow the club. No, not to convince other guys to try dressing as women. To attract new members to come out of their closet even in a scary environment. For our members, we want to encourage participation in events that get us out of the house. 

How do I do that and what changes should we make in light of a changing environment? A really good question that I don’t know the answer to. For now, we are continuing our usual schedule of monthly meetings. We’re meeting in our private, secure clubhouse location four times a year. We don’t think we need to change that. 

But what about the other eight times? We schedule those as Girls’ Nights Out (GNO), which are held at local restaurants. We know from experience that certain restaurants welcome us, so we revisit them. But we also want to expand our options, not retreat to the safety of our known world – a delicate proposition, even in this blue island these days. 

How Are You Coping?

I’d love to hear how people are dealing with changing conditions in their area. Looking for new ideas as well as those tried and true ones. I also wonder how many of us are increasing our contributions to organizations that fight for the freedom of everybody. 

I’ll Be Back

There will be more Stuff from the blue island. As always comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know! 

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Gene Hackman femulating in the film The Birdcage.

Mr. Hackman was one of my favorite actors and I was sad to learn of his recent death. God bless you, Jimmy “Popeye” Doyle.

Someday Funnies - 3/2/25

 

Someday Funnies - 3/1/25

Boys or Girls?

Love is not always a two-way street!

I love wearing high heels, but some high heels don’t love me. So I asked Google AI how to prepare my feet for my next pair of pumps. Here is what Google offered on the subject.

To prepare your feet for high heels, ensure your toenails are trimmed properly, address any foot issues like bunions or callouses, wear comfortable flat shoes beforehand, stretch your feet regularly, consider using shoe stretchers to widen the fit, opt for heels with a thicker base for stability and always break in new heels before wearing them for extended periods. 

Key steps:

Foot care: Trim toenails, treat any ingrown nails and remove calluses or corns. 

Pre-wearing routine: Wear comfortable flat shoes for a while before putting on heels. 

Stretching exercises: Perform foot stretches to improve flexibility and range of motion. 

Choose the right heels: Opt for heels with a thicker base for better balance and stability. 

Shoe fitting: Ensure the heels fit properly and aren’t too tight. 

Shoe stretchers: Use shoe stretchers to widen the shoe if necessary. 

Break-in period: Wear new heels for short periods at first to gradually adjust your feet. 

Insoles and cushions: Consider adding insoles or heel cushions for extra comfort.

Having worn high heels for over 60 years, I knew most of what the AI recommended, but I did learn a thing or two, too. 

Wearing Sachin & Babi

Suzy née Eddie Izzard

Jueves en la Casa

Kandi Robbins’ boudoir photoshoot will run Mondays for the next few weeks on her blog Kandis Land, so be sure to check it out. It should be fabulous!

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Suzanne asked how do I remove arm hair? 

Mechanically or chemically was my response. 

Mechanically, I use Philips Norelco Bodygroom electric trimmer. It does a good job on my arms, as well as my armpits, back, breasts, legs and even my nether reaches. However, it is not intended for the face or neck. (I took Philips word for it and never tried using it on my face or neck).

Chemically, I use Nair or Veet, but prefer the electric razor because there are certain body parts, my armpits for example, that Nair/Veet will burn. And if I am using Nair/Veet on my arms, it is easy to mistakenly slop some chemical on my pits and it will burn if I don't remove it fas enough. But everybody’s different, so your mileage may vary.

👠👠👠

“We can all fight back against Donald Trump’s anti-trans onslaught in our own ways” is an excellent article by Faefyx Collington that appeared at LBGTQNation earlier this week. Subtitled “People are fighting back in major ways already, but trans people don't all have to be activists to justify their existence,” I highly recommend Collington’s piece for all Femulate readers. Click here to read it.

Wearing Bebe

Out and about, the always lovely Hannah McKnight.

Tapestry of Transformation: A Look Back at the Birth of Our Community

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

One of the most common experiences shared by transgender individuals is a profound sense of isolation and aloneness, the feeling that you’re the only one like this. These feelings, often experienced in younger years, were something I guarded closely throughout my youth in the 60s and 70s. As I moved into young adulthood, I began a quest for answers. Why was I like this? Were there others like me?

My search led me from academic libraries to adult bookstores and magazine shops, anywhere I thought I might find a clue. It was in one of these searches that I stumbled upon an advertisement for the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE) in Massachusetts. Intrigued, I delved deeper and discovered the Tiffany Club, another organization based in the Boston suburbs. Both were beacons of hope in a time of profound isolation.

The IFGE published a magazine called Tapestry. Whenever I could find it – sometimes in an airport or on a New York newsstand – I would buy a copy, often an outdated issue, and devour its articles. It was a lifeline, a connection to others like me, a burgeoning community.

As fate would have it, my career eventually took me to the Boston area where my company was headquartered. I remember making my first trip to Waltham, my destination: Vernon’s Boutique on Moody Street. This shop catered to the transgender community. Just down the block was the headquarters of the IFGE. This small corner of the world was the seed from which the first national exposure and voice of our community grew.

In my opinion, this area, this collection of individuals and organizations, represents something akin to our Stonewall. It was the beginning of our organized movement. I had intended to write an article about this pivotal moment, but I recently came across a comprehensive piece online. It’s a long read, perhaps 40 minutes or so, but I believe it’s worth your time. It chronicles the rise of this community, what remains of it today, and the struggles, sacrifices and triumphs of the individuals who built it. It details what these pioneers went through to create the community we have today.

I urge you to read it and consider its implications, especially in light of the current political climate. Who knows what the future holds for our community? Understanding our past is crucial to navigating our future.

(Click here to read the article.)

Wearing Rene Ruiz

Glamorous fabulous femulators

Stuff 60: A Night at the Opera

Have you gone to the opera?

By J.J. Atwell

The Marx Brothers made a film in 1935 titled A Night at the Opera. As you might expect from the cast, it was played for laughs. In addition to the expected slapstick, it also gave a good example of how things go at a big show like that. For a more recent film, you might want to check out Phantom Of the Opera for the scenes where the public arrives at the opera house.

Today, though, I’d like to write about going to a play in girl mode. I’ve actually done this twice. No, actually it wasn’t an opera. Instead, they were Broadway-style stage shows held in large venues. Exactly the kind of places with large lobbies where people mingle before the curtain while they show off their style.

Didn’t you already cover that outing?

Yes, you are correct, I did mention those outings in a previous Stuff. See Stuff 54 and 55, both from early January. They were such a great experience that I keep re-living them in my head. And what’s in my head tends to fall out onto the page when I’m writing. 

With the benefit of hindsight, I should say that the whole experience wasn’t anywhere near as complex as I expected. I had imagined all kinds of situations where I would be exposed. None of that happened. 

The first outing was at a smaller, regional playhouse and I was there with a half dozen other CDs and their SOs. We all went to dinner beforehand at a nearby restaurant. As a group, I didn’t think that any of us stood out as obvious CDs. At any rate, I’m sure that we were clocked by the servers and probably some other patrons at the restaurant. I’m not so sure about at the actual play afterwards, though. 

The second outing was at a major, big city venue. I was there with two other CDs and their SOs, a party of six. Again we did dinner beforehand at a restaurant we had all been to before. We were welcomed back and had an enjoyable meal. From there we spent about 30 minutes in stop-and-go traffic to go the approximate two miles to the play. 

When we finally got there and turned into the valet lane, we were greeted as ladies and into the lobby we went. That’s where I started to get concerned again because we had to show our tickets on our phone and then go through security. So there was indeed some extra scrutiny. But no alarms went off and we were off to find our way to our seats. Well, after a stop at the rest room that is. And hanging around in the lobby looking at all the various outfits. There was a huge variety in what the women were wearing. Some nothing more dressy than jeans and a t-shirt. Others really decked out in slinky, sequined dresses with stiletto heels. I envied several of this outfits and wished I could have pulled off that look.

That brings me to another point

I regularly go out to eat with my SO at fancy restaurants. We are regulars at one upscale steak house where the staff knows us by name and always welcomes us back. Whenever we go there, we see most of the women are really dressed up for the occasion. It got me wondering what it would be like to there en femme. What would I wear? Something that fits the definition of quiet elegance would be appropriate in that kind of place. Since we are so well-known at that particular restaurant, we would have to go elsewhere. Fortunately, there are several other places we could try. 

I’ll be back

I’ve rambled quite a bit in this installment of Stuff, so I’ll end it here. There will certainly be more dreaming about outings en femme. In the meantime, I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s blog or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Lafayette 148

Christian De Sica femulating in the Italian film Amici Come Prima (Friends Like Before).

Pink vs. Blue