Eighteen

The blog is legal! Femulate.org is 18-years-old today!

Are You a Femulator (or a man in a dress)?

By Brenda

A femulator is someone who presents as a woman, often with the goal of emulating female appearance and mannerisms as authentically as possible. Unlike crossdressers who may dress for fun, comfort or fetish reasons, a femulator typically seeks to blend in or pass as a woman. I

If you’re wondering whether you align with the concept of femulation, here are ten signs that might indicate you are a femulator.

1. You Aim for Realism in Your Presentation

You don’t just put on a dress; you carefully select clothing, makeup and accessories that align with how a real woman of your age and environment would present herself. You strive to perfect the details, from hair to mannerisms.

2. You Study Female Mannerisms and Speech

You pay attention to how women walk, talk and express themselves. You may even practice adjusting your voice, posture and gestures to be more feminine and natural.

3. You Feel More Comfortable When Fully Dressed as a Woman

It’s not just about putting on a single feminine item; you feel most at ease when you are fully transformed including outfit, wig (if needed), makeup and accessories all in place.

4. You Prefer Going Out in Public Rather Than Staying Private

Rather than dressing at home in secret, you enjoy or aspire to venture out into the world as your female persona, interacting with others as a woman.

5. You See It as More than Just a Hobby or Fetish

Femulation is not about sexual excitement or occasional experimentation. It’s something deeper. You feel a genuine connection to your female presentation and it may even be a core part of your identity.

6. You Have an Eye for Feminine Fashion and Trends

You find yourself naturally interested in women’s fashion, makeup, hairstyles and even things like skincare. You might follow fashion blogs, watch tutorials or take an active interest in perfecting your look.

7. You Feel Disappointed When You Must Revert to Male Mode

After spending time as your femulated self, you feel a sense of loss when you have to return to your male appearance, as if something essential is being set aside.

8. You Receive Compliments or Are Mistaken for a Woman

You have been told you look convincing as a woman or perhaps, you’ve even been addressed as “ma’am” when out in public. Positive recognition reinforces your efforts.

9. You Imagine Living as a Woman Full-Time (Even If You Don’t Plan To)

You might fantasize about what it would be like to live as a woman permanently, even if you have no immediate plans to transition. The thought is intriguing and feels natural to you.

10. You Feel a Sense of Euphoria or Authenticity When Femulating

Dressing as a woman doesn’t just make you happy, it gives you a deep sense of fulfillment, peace or euphoria. It feels right, as if it aligns with something essential inside you.

If you’ve just spent the last hour online looking up makeup tips, researching new shoe styles, figuring out which dresses suit your body type and are now trying to buy that blue sundress in size 16/18 that you saw a woman wearing, yes, you’re a femulator.

If you’re thoughtful about your jewelry choices and even wear an ankle bracelet, congratulations, you’re a femulator.

If you own more than four pairs of woman’s shoes, especially high heels, then yes, you are clearly obsessed with footwear as a femulator.

If you’re buying your products from the local Avon rep (who might also be a femulator), then once again, you are indeed a femulator.

I’ve also noticed that every time I go to a public restroom in boy mode, I instinctively head toward the women’s door and have to remind myself, “No, boy, you need to use the men’s restroom." But when I sit down instead of standing, well, let’s just say it’s a little moment of self-revelation: You’ve revealed yourself as a femulator.

Wearing L’Agence

Adam Graber femulating Rose Nylund on stage in Golden Girls: The Laughs Continue.

Where did all the Chinese go?

Most days, I check how many “views” (also known as “hits”) the blog received that day. For the past few months, the view count has been through the roof hitting an all-time high of 91,188 on January 19. (Before the surge, the blog views typically were 7,000 to 8,000 per day.)

By far, Red China accounted for most of the surge. I’m sure that tens of thousands of Chinese femulators were not checking into the blog each day. Rather, the Chinese were fooling around on the Internet for some unknown (nefarious?) reason(s).

On January 20, the surge ended and the view count returned to the previous norm of 7,000 to 8,000 per day. It is too coincidental that this change occurred on Inauguration Day; I suspect that the new administration flipped a switch somewhere, which blocked the Chinese.

And so it goes.

Wearing Shein

John Inman

Stuff 57: Living Vicariously

By J.J. Atwell

Vicariously?

Webster defines vicariously as: "experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another.” I wonder if Webster was a CD? Probably not because this sounds a bit scholastic.

The way I, a CD, would explain vicariously follows. First, understand that I don’t get out often in girl mode. Typically once a month and even then there are months that I miss. So what is a CD to do when she can’t actually get dressed? Peruse the Internet for stories or pictures of other CDs out enjoying themselves, of course! 

For Example

Our local CD group meeting this month conflicted with a long planned vacation, so I had to miss the event. What to do? I corresponded with some of the rest of the group and they were happy to send pictures of themselves that night. Not as good as being able to dress up, but still fun to see my friends and dissect what they wore. FWIW, they both looked great that night. That, of course, led me to pondering how I might have dressed, which is always fun. 

The Bigger World

There are lots more websites that help us when we want to live vicariously through others. As I mentioned above, Femulate is a great place for us to live vicariously. Each day there are stories about the CD world by several contributors. Often there is a story about a recent outing that we can follow and imagine ourselves being there. Here again, I’d suggest looking at the sidebar over on the right of Femulate and check out some of those blogs. 

And then there are the big, generic sites like Pinterest and Flickr, where you can search for pictures of other crossdressers. Generally these are pretty good but you don’t get the story behind the picture, so it’s not a great way to live vicariously. 

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about so you too can live vicariously. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Shein

Christina d'Yvon at the Top of the Rock during her visit to New York City. As well as visiting the city en femme, Christina also flew from Germany en femme wearing her pinstripe skirt-suit.

Someday Funnies

My Lips (And Yours)

To do my lips, I use a lip liner to define the outer edges of my lips, then I fill inside the lip lines with a lip color using a lipstick brush.



Lip color is like eye color, that is, some colors suit me that may not suit you and vice versa, so experiment to see what looks best. Whatever color you choose, the color of your lip liner should be just a few shades darker than your lip color unless you are going for a drag queen look, in which case your lip liner should be many, many shades darker than your lip color. 

Most of the lip liners and lip colors I use are from Avon. I have two shades of a lipstick that Avon discontinued that I love and usually wear these days because the results have a glossy finish without using lip gloss.



My lip process:

1) I use a well-sharpened lip liner pencil to apply lip liner to my upper and lower lips. In either case, I start the line at the middle of the lip and work outwards to the end of the lip line following the curve of my natural lip line.

 If you have thin lips like I do, you can make them look bigger by applying the lip liner slightly outside the natural lip line, but don’t go overboard because you can end up with clown-like lips.



2) To apply lip color, I use a lipstick brush to fill in my lips between the lip liner. A brush provides better coverage where you want the color and avoids putting color where you don't want it, which can occur if you apply lip color directly from a lipstick tube.



3) I close my mouth on a piece of tissue paper to remove any excess.



4) I apply a light coat of translucent powder on my lips. This will hold the color you reapply for a longer period of time.



5) I usually reapply or touch up my lip liner.



6) I reapply my lip color.



7) Sometimes I apply a clear lip gloss over the lip color.

8) Smile!

Wearing ModCloth

Trevor Moore and Darren Trumeter femulating in television’s The Whitest Kids U’Know.

The Big Small Thing

By Monika Kowalska

We’ve been pen pals with Stana for a while now and I absolutely love her blog. I’m always curious about the fashionable pictures she posts, knowing her fantastic style and taste. Her blog stories are also so inspiring – they help me realize more about myself and my own journey. I had the pleasure of interviewing Stana for my blog, Heroines of My Life, and she shared such eloquent insights about her life and self-discovery. After that, we thought it would be fun to flip the script – this time, I’d be the one sharing my thoughts for Stana’s blog. As we discussed what might interest you, I applied an elimination strategy to decide what to leave out.

I am a transgender woman and yes, I’ve gone through all the stages on my long road to womanhood: hormone replacement therapy, facial feminization surgery and gender-affirming surgery. But I won’t focus on those. They were challenging, expensive and impacted my social life, including losing friends, some family members and even a job. I won’t dwell on them because honestly, they’re not what I think will interest you most.

I’ll touch on one small thing, which is actually quite big that I’ve experienced living as a woman for almost 15 years. Do you know that women talk in the bathroom? You’ve probably wondered why girls always seem to go to the bathroom in groups or pairs. What exactly are we doing in there? It’s a bit of a mystery, but it might be useful for some of you who find yourselves in ladies’ restrooms when out en femme. Of course, with dark clouds looming and the risks increasing, especially for those in the USA, it might not be safe to do so anymore.

So why do we go to the bathroom in pairs? The most practical answer is that there’s almost always a line for the women’s bathroom, especially at crowded places like bars or restaurants. This was something I noticed right away. Back in my first miserable part of life in ‘man mode,’ when I had to pee, it was quick. But now, when I feel the urge, even under pressure, I have to hold it in because there are always a couple of ladies ahead of me. So to kill time, it’s always helpful to have a friend to chat with. Waiting in line alone can be boring, so bringing someone along makes it more bearable. Plus, some of my friends feel awkward waiting by themselves, so I often go with them to keep them company.

Guys are raised with a set of unspoken bathroom rules like avoiding eye contact with other guys and keeping conversations to a minimum. They’re basically discouraged from forming the same kind of camaraderie that women share in public restrooms. It's important to keep this in mind. So, is the women’s bathroom a prime spot for girl talk? I would say, “Probably yes,” but I’d have a hard time specifying the exact topics. What we actually talk about in there can vary. It could be anything from light chit-chat to more intimate conversations, like seeking or offering emotional support. I’ve always tried to be very rational about men and relationships, so my best friends rely on me to help them untangle the most complicated issues. And I must say, some of those talks definitely happened in the bathroom.

I’ve always preferred sitting to pee, even before my surgery. I never liked those bars with ‘crying walls’ where urine flows from one wall to the urine outlet. I detested them. In public restrooms, I used to avoid sitting on the toilet for hygiene reasons, but after my surgery, that wasn’t an option anymore. 

Public bathrooms can be terrifying, especially when they aren’t cleaned regularly. I’ve tried to figure out how to avoid touching the toilet seat. Women have long searched for ways to avoid sitting and now there are funnel-like devices called Personal Urination Devices or Female Urinary Devices that let us stand while peeing. But these are not always available, so I had to rely on the tips from real experts: my cis-female friends.

Following their kind support, I must say that I'm a fan of the squat/hover method. For the least messy results, I place my feet wider than hip-width apart to create a stable base. Then I lean slightly forward and hover over the seat. I also find it helpful to balance my hands or elbows on my thighs while leaning forward to avoid wobbling. I’ve been working on strengthening my thighs, too. The stronger my legs, the easier the squat becomes. It’s like going to the gym everyday, but without the membership fee!

When I use a public restroom, I always keep my outfit in mind. I try to avoid wearing trousers when I go out because some clothes are easier to manage in a dirty restroom. Ideally, I'd wear a skirt without underwear to make hovering easier, but that's not always realistic. When I wear something more complicated like a jumper, I make sure to roll down the top and gather the wide legs to keep them off the floor. Then I carefully back up into a hover position over the toilet. With shorts or pants, I only lower them as much as needed to keep them off the ground and practice balancing with them around my knees.

Is there another reason we instinctively pair up or group together? I’d say it’s because there’s safety in numbers, especially when we're in unfamiliar or crowded places. It’s just easier to navigate the crowd and look out for each other. Getting hit on or approached by a random person in public can be awkward and even scary, especially for me. While I’m reasonably passable and don’t usually get clocked unless I reveal that I’m trans, it’s still something I have to be aware of.

And finally, we hit the bathroom together to freshen up – whether it’s fixing our hair, touching up our makeup or adjusting our clothes – especially at a club where we’re dancing and sweating. We might reapply makeup, borrow each other’s lipstick or hairspray (I am not a fan of lending my lipstick – sorry to my female friends for spelling that out) or ask for opinions on our outfits or hair before heading back out. 

A lot of cis women also prefer not to discuss their periods in front of guys or people they don’t know well. When that time of the month strikes and a woman realizes she doesn’t have a tampon or pad, the solution is simple: grab a friend and head to the bathroom to borrow one. For obvious reasons, I don’t have periods (though I kind of wish I did, even though my best cis friend keeps telling me I’m lucky), but I always keep an extra tampon or pad on hand for situations like that. In fact, I’ve even been asked by my best friend, who knows I don’t need them, to share one! She was probably so desperate that she forgot I’m trans.

To wrap this up, I’ll leave you with this: The women’s bathroom is truly a magical place where we bond, share secrets, and sometimes even lend out our emergency tampons. It’s a world of its own, filled with laughter and support. So next time you find yourself in a public restroom, whether you’re queuing for a bathroom or nervously hoping you don’t spill your pee, just remember, we’ve got each other’s backs... even if we have to squat, hover and chat through the whole ordeal. 

Monika has been interviewing trans people in her blog, The Heroines of My Life, for over 12 years. Click here to see who she has interviewed lately.

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Mark McKinney femulating on television’s The Kids in the Hall.

Damsel to the Rescue!

By Norah Blucher

Recently I wrote about my friend Tiffany who was in a car crash en femme, which sparked a lot of lively conversations about being helped and treated like a lady during mishaps in life while en femme. Stana herself had a few stories about being helped with a car issue by some chaps in a parking lot and wrote about being a damsel in distress. And was treated kindly by a police officer who showed her where to go at a conference. 

It was never lost on me though, that we are probably one of the most capable groups of girls out there! Here on the blog and femulators I know elsewhere, often have military experience, work trades and have a number of very non-girly hobbies and skills, myself included. The validation of being helped is nice, especially if someone changes your tire while you are dressed to the nines and anyone should appreciate some assistance no matter how they are presenting, though I bet many of us could get out of a jam on our own, if need be, capable modern girls we are.

I knew my day would eventually come and I was surprised it had not already. My car currently screams down the highway like a Stuka after a Russian tank. Turning up the volume on Kesha tracks has mitigated the issue so far, but I have scheduled a service, LOL. Little did I know however that car trouble was on the horizon for me and it would not even involve my car!

The Long Way Home

I was recently heading home after an extended trip, had just enjoyed a nice dinner with an old friend, who got to meet Norah for the first time and was ecstatic about sleeping in my own bed for the first time in over a week. Knackered as I was though, I still had one more task to check off my list. Groceries! I knew I had little food at home and though it was frigid and late, at 8:45 on a Wednesday evening, I found myself grocery shopping.

The store was mostly deserted and I noted almost all of the few other shoppers were rather strange appearing males. Though maybe they found the blonde femulator odd in her cashmere sweater, pencil skirt, fur-trimmed coat and 3.5-inch heeled boots clicking down the aisles like Zsa Zsa Gabor, LOL. Truth be told, I was not paying much attention to anyone, nor they to me.

My one brief interaction involved a bloke who was attempting to go down the same exit lane as me from the self-service kiosks at the check-out. We got there at the same time and I stopped. He waved me through. I guess I hesitated, so when I went to push my trolley through, he went to walk past and we both stopped. We played “Who goes first?” another round or two before I finally went by. He appeared a rough, hardworking fellow in well-worn clothes, but gave me a kind smile as I walked past and I thanked him.

Turn Me On Lady!

I made my way out to the parking lot and was loading my groceries into car when I heard a commotion behind me. Turning around I saw the bloke who had let me pass by at the check-out, propping up the bonnet of his car, phone in hand, telling someone on the other end that the car was dead. I watched for a moment, before he noticed me. Our eyes locked and he asked in a desperate voice, “Can you give me a jump?”

I froze for a second. Part of it was realizing I’m not a particularly imposing looking woman in a rather vacant parking lot with a bloke calling after me for help. I was also partly wondering if I’d have to empty my entire boot to get the jumper cables next to the spare or if he might have some. It was just a second though and I suddenly realized I had just the ticket and called out I had a booster pack and would be right over!

Entering my car, I retrieved the little HALO booster pack under my seat, placed my phone and keys from my purse in my pocket and locked my purse in the car. 

I began to get everything out of the little bag when suddenly this bloke came over to me to watch what I was doing. (Note to your males selves, in this type of situation, let the girl come to you! It was a bit unnerving.) 

Looking back, I think he was just curious what I was doing, or perhaps thought I needed male assistance with a car thing. I made some conversation as I assembled the cables onto the battery and asked how long the car was sitting. He replied it had just been while he was in the store a short time. I assured him these things happened and I had the little booster as I’ve gotten to my car in airport parking lots to find I left a light on or something and it was dead when I returned.

Anyway, booster in hand I waltzed over to his car and placed my head under the bonnet looking for the battery, when he suddenly illuminated it with the torch on his phone and noted which terminal was which. I guessed he noticed I was a blonde and needed to be told such things, LOL.

He got back in the car and when the light on the booster turned green I told him to give it a try. The car struggled for a second and then roared to life! I unhooked the cables and he got back out and gave me a sincere, but somewhat embarrassed, “Thank you so much.” 

I told him it was no problem and went back to my car and we went our separate ways into the night.

After Thoughts

Though unexpected and mildly unnerving, I felt good having helped someone in need. If the tables were turned and I was stranded in a parking lot on a frigid night, I would hope someone would help me, too. I am always touting that we are our own best advocates as well and I’ve no idea if he liked our type, thinks were are dreadful heathens or has not ever thought about us much at all. Perhaps he had no idea what I was even and I passed the whole time and he was floored that this well-heeled damsel could jump a car without assistance. But if not though, I hope he remembers the kind femulator who helped him.

So loves, that was certainly an unexpected encounter, but I’d like to know if you have ever found yourself in this tables turned situation or ever surprised someone with something you knew as a girl. Questions or comments are welcome below or you can email me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.

Wearing Ann Taylor

John Davidson femulating on a 1974 episode of television's The Streets of San Francisco.

A Woman’s Work is Never Done

The “female Impersonator” in the film Woman on the Run.

Part of my housewife duties is to shop for groceries. Usually I shop at Aldi first and then proceed to Stop & Shop to buy items that Aldi did not stock. Grocery shopping yesterday, I bought a dozen eggs for $5.09 at Aldi. At Stop & Shop, I noticed that the price for a dozen eggs was a trumpian $9.19! Yikes!

While on the subject of housewifery, here is a recipe you might want to file away:

1/2 cup of baking soda, followed by...

1 cup of vinegar, followed by...

Mass quantities of boiling water

That's the recipe for clearing out a blocked sink drain. Last week, my kitchen sink drain froze up due to the sub-freezing weather we have experienced here in January. Washing dishes in the bathroom sink got old fast, so I found this recipe on the Internet and it cleared the drain in less than five minutes!

And yes, I always wear panties in housewife mode, which is 24/7. As they say, a woman’s work is never done.

👠 👠 👠

I have become a fan of film noir and usually catch the weekly film noir showings on TCM. Saturday morning TCM showed Woman on the Run, a potboiler starring Ann Sheridan and Dennis O'Keefe. In the film, the police are following Ann to find out where her murder suspect husband is hiding out.

Initially the police assign a male detective to follow Ann, but after Ann realizes she is being followed by the male detective, the police switch to a female impersonator to follow her. The female impersonator passed with flying colors (photo above), but Ann figured her for just another detective following her.

I suspect that the actor playing the female impersonator was cis female, but I was unable to find who played the part. By the way, you can view the film on Internet Archive.

👠 👠 👠

In yesterday's post, JJ made some excellent points about posing for photographs. If you would like to read more on the topic, click here to read a post I wrote about self-photograpy.

Wearing Elágia

Jack Benny femulating in the 1941 film Charley’s Aunt.

Stuff 56: Posing

By J.J. Atwell

Good Pictures are Important

I think that the second biggest interest of CDs, after the clothing, is having pictures of our girl self. That certainly describes me. I’ve got quite a collection of JJ’s pictures, mostly a simple pose, to document my look at the time. For that purpose a simple pose against a plain wall is all I need. But does it really show my girl self? Thinking about all the pictures I see of women, I notice that is not how they pose in most photos. They seem to have found the right pose to really give their best look. Time to find what works for us. 

Unique Poses

There was recently a story on NPR that gave some good tips about how best to pose. Although directed at women, especially young women, this might be of interest for your CDing pictures. Check out this link for their suggestions.

Yes, those are a bit over the top to my eyes. But it does make some good points. Instead of a static pose with your arms at your side and legs together, how about loosening up a bit? Use you hands to gesture or point. Look like you are doing something besides just standing there. Turn to the side or twist your body. Look at the camera or at a particular object. Be animated. And above all, smile. 

Be Yourself

A tough one to convey when posing for the camera – think about your image. Are you just standing there to document the outfit? Or is the picture showing you out and about actually doing something? If it is just documentation, you can still have fun with it. Stretch your arms out or put one hand on your hip. Turn one foot to the side to show off those shoes. 

Adding little touches like that still serves the purpose of documenting the picture, but it also adds interest. It makes you look like you are having fun, not just trying on clothes. Show off those curves you worked (shopped) so hard to add.

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Shein

Alan Sues femulating on television’s Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In.