Friday, October 18, 2024

Femulating the Femulators (Part 1)

By Norah Blucher

No, no name change here. I’m still just Norah Blucher, but I did recently have an out and about adventure that I deemed inspired by Stana and Paula G., as I took a recent business trip to Hartford, Connecticut, and went out en femme in Stana’s Nutmeg State stomping grounds. Mine was certainly not the most exciting outing in the wide world of femulation, but was a huge milestone for me and included many “firsts.”

Just for background, I was always primarily adomestic femulator. Leaving the house was rare and the goal was to avoid social interaction. As in zero! Try not to be seen at all and if so, just blend into the background or move away. 

But I decided to change all that. Following the dissolution of a rather unhealthy relationship, I realized many things and perhaps more significantly, chose to end a long career whose benefit package included depression, anxiety, gas lighting and trust issues. I was in a bad place and closer to a breakdown than I realized. I did not femulate, even in the confines of my home, for over a year. I didn’t do much of anything for over a year really.

As I pieced together a new life though, I realized I had been handed a gift few ever get: the chance to start completely over, no strings attached and with more building blocks than I started with. With much trepidation, I took a new career that was totally out of my element in many ways and though it was difficult, whatever was thrown my way, I just went with it and I began to explore the world again as a new person almost. I felt I had missed out on so much of life for quite a while.

And I started femulating again. I guess I could not break that little thread; the urge was just there and was just part of me I had to accept. If I was to start life over though, Norah was to become an integral part of it and something I would not just accept, but embrace! 

Here’s the naughty little problem though: if you want to get out in the world, but you are a very closeted femulator, you are always pulled in two directions. One part of you is always missing out. I looked in the mirror one day and told myself, “Girl, you get dolled up every chance you get and sit home or hide from view. You are not living to your full potential. This is not good, dear.” 

So I joined a blog called Femulate.org looking to gain some pointers on getting out more and was floored reading about Stana’s journey, then again hearing how Paula G. would go on trips and go out en femme, as well as the exciting stories and information shared by everyone here. I did not know how just yet, but I was determined to femulate these accomplished femulators that inspired me. Not only did these people get out and about, they were living life, as much as possible as their femme selves! I learned so much, and met so many amazing and inspiring sisters and surprisingly found I had something to offer as well. I also read older posts and the one that hit me the most was an old one called “Don’t Let This Happen To You.”

And that was it. Emboldened by the trail blazed by others, it had come time for Norah to enter society. Not as a house sitter or a mute and nameless shadow that quickly vanished. An actual person that people saw and spoke to and interacted with. Not full-time by any means, but out and about when possible in a meaningful way. I did not feel ready in a lot of regards, but if I waited until I felt ready, I would wait forever. I waited anxiously for an opportunity to present its self.and when I arranged my trip to Hartford, I decided now was the time.

Hartford Get Ready!

I had hoped to go to a museum, dine, and do some shopping. It was raining much of the way, and traffic was slow, so I got to Hartford later than intended. The museum was also closed that day anyway, so it looked like get ready and go straight to dinner.

This was still ambitious to say the least. Navigating a store en femme is one thing, as you can move around, avoid people and even pay at a kiosk at times. You can interact with others if you want or just become part of the faceless matrix. You have options.

Dining at a restaurant is different. You have to talk to waitstaff if you want to eat. You can be surrounded by people who may stare and you are stuck there. Keep in mind I have never been to a support group, crossdressing event or even a therapist for trans issues. This was a rather bold step for me and I was skipping the warm up of wandering the museum alone.

Packing was done thoughtfully and I only brought what I needed to avoid any last minute indecision. I hope I do not disappoint anyone here, but I did not choose a nice dress or skirt. I had too much on my mind to worry about a run in my hose or my skirt riding up at the dinner table. I went with jeans, a nice top and lower heel Mary Janes. This is not out of place for me anyway as I’ve always worn a variety of styles. I’m just sort of easy breezy with a touch of glam and eccentricity. My goal was to interact with civilians, but not stand out too much.

It took three hours to get ready! An hour longer than usual. Partly because I wanted every detail to be perfect and mostly because of plain old procrastination. I also further delayed things by making the mistake of trying fake nails for the fist time and putting them on too soon. A note to the wise: put your nails on last! And don’t try something new the day you are going out. Fake nails are a hobbling experience until you adjust to them.

Yes, I made a wreck of the bathroom….. but I did clean it all up after.

My first “manicure”
Finally ready and dressed, I procrastinated some more as I stalled and thoughts raced through my head:

“Oh God Norah, you’re sweating. Not a good look, dear. Let’s add more perfume. Yes, better to smell like a tarte than a locker room.”

“Okay, let's practice the walk again… No you bloody bimbo, you’ve practiced for years, you’re just stalling! Get on with it already!”

“Alright, this is it. Deep breath Norah. One… two… three…”

And out the door I went. I heard the latch click behind me and paused for a second. The stairs and side exit were right across the hall flirting with me, calling like a Siren to take the easy way out. It was tempting. But no. No, no, hell no! I’ve been beaten down and treated like a piece of trash too long. This girl was going out the main lobby like anyone else! So, with my head held high, down the elevator it was, through the lobby and out the front door, as I drive off into the waning sunlight...

Does She Make It?

That’s enough for now I think. Questions and comments are always welcome below or e-mail me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me. Just don’t ask me the ending! You can read the rest next time and when that will be is up to Stana. I guess you’ll just have to read the blog daily to see when that is!



Wearing Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

April Jones stopped at Victoria’s Secret on the way home from the office and encountered a live-stream of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show from NYC and the staff at Vickie’s snapped April’s photo..

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Yet Another "The Office" Reference


 


Wearing Cynthia Rowley
Wearing Cynthia Rowley


Diana Lucia out and about in Barcelona
Diana on flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/leslieazul/
and on Instagram: @diana.llucia.bcn

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

They’re Femulating All Over the World

In a comment yesterday, Norah asked, “I wonder how many different countries are represented here on the blog?”

Blogger provides lots of statistics regarding the blogs it hosts including the countries where the blog’s is most popular. Accordingly, here are Femulate.org’s most popular countries.

1. China

2. United States

3. United Kingdom

4. Canada

5. Germany

6. Australia

7. France

8. Netherlands

9. Russia

10. Italy

11. Ireland

12. India

13. Hong Kong

14. Singapore

15. Indonesia

16. Belgium

17. Spain

18. Denmark

19. Japan

20. Other



Wearing Maje
Wearing Maje


Fernanda del Mar Moreno Avalos out and about in Mexico
Click here to visit her blog.

Monday, October 14, 2024

Stuff: About Me

By J.J. Atwell

What are my qualifications?

I’ve been writing “Stuff” for Stana to publish for the better part of a year. By my count, this is episode 47 of Stuff. Some weeks I’ve missed, but mostly Stuff gets posted on Femulate weekly. I’ve received lots of good feedback on my posts and I thank you all for that. 

But you may be wondering what qualifies me to write a column like this for the CD/TG world? Absolutely nothing. Well, I suppose the fact that I am a CD is a qualification. In that case, I suppose life is my qualification. 

I am not an expert!

Just because I write this column and Stana sees fit to publish it doesn’t make me an expert. Perhaps even Stana doesn’t consider herself an expert. The caution “…just because you found it online doesn't mean it is true” certainly applies to my writings here. Please keep an open mind when reading Stuff in particular, as well as anything else you read online.  

Why should you read Stuff?

Hopefully, you find my perspective on the CD world and the issues we face in society to be interesting. But I want to stress that I have no academic qualifications for my comments here. I only have my experience and observations. Some of you have legitimate questions about your life that are best answered by professionals. I’m not one of them. Instead, I prefer to relate what I’ve learned over the many, many years of being a CD. 

What I would love for you to get out of my Stuff is a unique perspective on CD’ing – mine, yours and from the world’s view, in general. Some things I write are for you to think about as you proceed on your CD journey. Perhaps you will find something to expand your knowledge and acceptance of being a CD. If you do that, I’ve accomplished by objective.

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.



Wearing Paige
Wearing Paige


Lena and friends out an about down under
(left to right: Di, GG, Lena, GG)

Friday, October 11, 2024

“No Questions Asked” at 5 PM EDT Today

A film with some of the best femulations ever to appear on the silver screen, No Questions Asked, will be shown on TCM at 5 PM EDT today. 

How old?


How old were you when you crossdressed for the first time? 

I am not sure of the exact year. You would think that something that significant would be a date, or at least a year I would remember, but I don’t. My best guess is 1962, ’63 or ’64, when I was 11, 12 or 13-years-old… those years when a boy begins transitioning into manhood or otherwise.

I did not dress fully the first time. I only wore my mother’s high heels and nylon stockings (way back when nylons had seams). The second time, I added my mother’s bra and girdle. Then I added dresses from my mother’s and sister’s wardrobes. 

After that, I crossdressed whenever I was home alone fine-tuning my presentation, which finally saw the light of day, rather night, on Halloween 1969.  

And the rest is her story!

So how old were you the first time you crossdressed?



Wearing Venus
Wearing Venus



Dawn and partner out and about at Falmouth Pride 2024.
Dawn and partner out and about at Falmouth Pride 2024.

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Mi casa es tu casa

Casa Susanna was a unique and significant haven in the 1950s and 60s. Located in the small Upstate New York town of Jewett, it served as a safe retreat for crossdressing men and transgender women during a time when public expression of gender nonconformity was often met with severe social and legal repercussions.

Founded by Susanna Valenti and her wife Maria, Casa Susanna provided a welcoming environment where guests could freely express their gender identity. The Valentis offered not only lodging, but also makeup lessons and photography services, ensuring guests could capture and cherish their experiences. 

The site gained broader recognition in the mid-2000s when a collection of photographs from Casa Susanna was discovered at a flea market and later published in a book. This discovery led to increased awareness and documentation of the resort's history, including a documentary featured on PBS’s American Experience.

Guests at Casa Susanna often described their experiences as liberating and transformative. The retreat provided a rare opportunity for crossdressing men and transgender women to express their true selves without fear of judgment or persecution. Here are some key aspects of their experiences:

Freedom of Expression – Many guests felt a profound sense of relief and joy at being able to dress and present themselves in a way that aligned with their gender identity. This freedom was a stark contrast to the restrictive norms of the time.

Community and Support – Casa Susanna fostered a strong sense of community. Guests formed deep bonds with one another, sharing stories, advice and support. This camaraderie was crucial for many, as they often felt isolated in their everyday lives.

Learning and Growth – The Valentis provided makeup lessons, styling tips and photography services, helping guests refine their appearance and build confidence. These skills were invaluable for many who were exploring their gender identity.

Safe Haven – The secluded location of Casa Susanna offered a safe and private environment. Guests could relax and be themselves without the fear of being discovered or harassed.

Memorable Moments – Many guests cherished the photographs taken during their stay, which captured their transformation and the joy of being their authentic selves. These images became treasured keepsakes and a testament to their experiences.

Overall, Casa Susanna was a sanctuary where guests could experience acceptance, understanding, and the freedom to be who they truly were. It played a vital role in the lives of many during a time when such spaces were exceedingly rare.

However, running Casa Susanna came with several significant challenges for Susanna and Maria Valenti.

Legal Risks – During the 1950s and 60s, crossdressing and gender nonconformity were often criminalized. The Valentis risked legal repercussions for providing a space where guests could freely express their gender identity.

Social Stigma – The societal attitudes of the time were largely intolerant towards LGBTQ+ individuals. The Valentis had to navigate this pervasive stigma, ensuring the retreat remained discreet and protected from public scrutiny.

Secrecy and Privacy – Maintaining the privacy and safety of their guests was paramount. The Valentis had to be vigilant about who they allowed into Casa Susanna and ensure that the retreat’s location and activities remained confidential.

Financial Strain – Operating a retreat like Casa Susanna required financial resources. The Valentis had to manage the costs of maintaining the property, providing services and ensuring the comfort and safety of their guests.

Emotional Toll – Supporting their guests, many of whom faced significant personal struggles, could be emotionally taxing. The Valentis provided not just a physical space, but also emotional support, which required considerable empathy and resilience.

Despite these challenges, Susanna and Maria Valenti successfully created a sanctuary that had a profound and lasting impact on many lives. Their dedication and courage in the face of adversity are a testament to their commitment to providing a safe and accepting space for their guests. 

Casa Susanna's rediscovery and subsequent documentation is a fascinating story.

Photograph Discovery –  In the early 2000s, a collection of photographs from Casa Susanna was found at a flea market by collectors Robert Swope and Michel Hurst. These photographs depicted guests dressed in women’s clothing, capturing moments of joy and self-expression.

Publication –  Swope and Hurst compiled these photographs into a book titled Casa Susanna, published in 2005. The book brought significant attention to the retreat, highlighting its historical and cultural importance.

Media Coverage – The publication of the book led to increased media interest. Articles, interviews and features in various media outlets helped to spread the story of Casa Susanna, shedding light on this unique haven.

Documentary – In 2020, PBS’s American Experience aired a documentary titled Casa Susanna, which delved deeper into the history and significance of the retreat. The documentary included interviews with former guests and historians, providing a comprehensive look at the impact of Casa Susanna.

Exhibitions – The photographs and artifacts from Casa Susanna have also been featured in exhibitions, further preserving and sharing the history of this important place.

These efforts have ensured that Casa Susanna's legacy is remembered and celebrated, offering insight into a pivotal part of LGBTQ+ history symbolizing a place of acceptance and self-expression during a challenging era.



Wearing Nana Jacqueline
Wearing Nana Jacqueline


Click here to read about Dee’s outings and aboutings.
Click here to read about Dee’s outings and aboutings.

Hey Girls! I love photos of out-and-about girls like us. If you have an out-and-about photo that you are willing to share here, email it to me and I will publish it in a future post.