How old?

How old were you when you crossdressed for the first time? 

I am not sure of the exact year. You would think that something that significant would be a date, or at least a year I would remember, but I don’t. My best guess is 1962, ’63 or ’64, when I was 11, 12 or 13-years-old… those years when a boy begins transitioning into manhood or otherwise.

I did not dress fully the first time. I only wore my mother’s high heels and nylon stockings (way back when nylons had seams). The second time, I added my mother’s bra and girdle. Then I added dresses from my mother’s and sister’s wardrobes. 

After that, I crossdressed whenever I was home alone fine-tuning my presentation, which finally saw the light of day, rather night, on Halloween 1969.  

And the rest is her story!

So how old were you the first time you crossdressed?

Wearing Venus

Dawn and partner out and about at Falmouth Pride 2024.

Out with the Boys

 

Wearing Elágia

Julie Shaw of Julie – Out and About fame

Mi casa es tu casa

Casa Susanna was a unique and significant haven in the 1950s and 60s. Located in the small Upstate New York town of Jewett, it served as a safe retreat for crossdressing men and transgender women during a time when public expression of gender nonconformity was often met with severe social and legal repercussions.

Founded by Susanna Valenti and her wife Maria, Casa Susanna provided a welcoming environment where guests could freely express their gender identity. The Valentis offered not only lodging, but also makeup lessons and photography services, ensuring guests could capture and cherish their experiences. 

The site gained broader recognition in the mid-2000s when a collection of photographs from Casa Susanna was discovered at a flea market and later published in a book. This discovery led to increased awareness and documentation of the resort's history, including a documentary featured on PBS’s American Experience.

Guests at Casa Susanna often described their experiences as liberating and transformative. The retreat provided a rare opportunity for crossdressing men and transgender women to express their true selves without fear of judgment or persecution. Here are some key aspects of their experiences:

Freedom of Expression – Many guests felt a profound sense of relief and joy at being able to dress and present themselves in a way that aligned with their gender identity. This freedom was a stark contrast to the restrictive norms of the time.

Community and Support – Casa Susanna fostered a strong sense of community. Guests formed deep bonds with one another, sharing stories, advice and support. This camaraderie was crucial for many, as they often felt isolated in their everyday lives.

Learning and Growth – The Valentis provided makeup lessons, styling tips and photography services, helping guests refine their appearance and build confidence. These skills were invaluable for many who were exploring their gender identity.

Safe Haven – The secluded location of Casa Susanna offered a safe and private environment. Guests could relax and be themselves without the fear of being discovered or harassed.

Memorable Moments – Many guests cherished the photographs taken during their stay, which captured their transformation and the joy of being their authentic selves. These images became treasured keepsakes and a testament to their experiences.

Overall, Casa Susanna was a sanctuary where guests could experience acceptance, understanding, and the freedom to be who they truly were. It played a vital role in the lives of many during a time when such spaces were exceedingly rare.

However, running Casa Susanna came with several significant challenges for Susanna and Maria Valenti.

Legal Risks – During the 1950s and 60s, crossdressing and gender nonconformity were often criminalized. The Valentis risked legal repercussions for providing a space where guests could freely express their gender identity.

Social Stigma – The societal attitudes of the time were largely intolerant towards LGBTQ+ individuals. The Valentis had to navigate this pervasive stigma, ensuring the retreat remained discreet and protected from public scrutiny.

Secrecy and Privacy – Maintaining the privacy and safety of their guests was paramount. The Valentis had to be vigilant about who they allowed into Casa Susanna and ensure that the retreat’s location and activities remained confidential.

Financial Strain – Operating a retreat like Casa Susanna required financial resources. The Valentis had to manage the costs of maintaining the property, providing services and ensuring the comfort and safety of their guests.

Emotional Toll – Supporting their guests, many of whom faced significant personal struggles, could be emotionally taxing. The Valentis provided not just a physical space, but also emotional support, which required considerable empathy and resilience.

Despite these challenges, Susanna and Maria Valenti successfully created a sanctuary that had a profound and lasting impact on many lives. Their dedication and courage in the face of adversity are a testament to their commitment to providing a safe and accepting space for their guests. 

Casa Susanna's rediscovery and subsequent documentation is a fascinating story.

Photograph Discovery –  In the early 2000s, a collection of photographs from Casa Susanna was found at a flea market by collectors Robert Swope and Michel Hurst. These photographs depicted guests dressed in women’s clothing, capturing moments of joy and self-expression.

Publication –  Swope and Hurst compiled these photographs into a book titled Casa Susanna, published in 2005. The book brought significant attention to the retreat, highlighting its historical and cultural importance.

Media Coverage – The publication of the book led to increased media interest. Articles, interviews and features in various media outlets helped to spread the story of Casa Susanna, shedding light on this unique haven.

Documentary – In 2020, PBS’s American Experience aired a documentary titled Casa Susanna, which delved deeper into the history and significance of the retreat. The documentary included interviews with former guests and historians, providing a comprehensive look at the impact of Casa Susanna.

Exhibitions – The photographs and artifacts from Casa Susanna have also been featured in exhibitions, further preserving and sharing the history of this important place.

These efforts have ensured that Casa Susanna's legacy is remembered and celebrated, offering insight into a pivotal part of LGBTQ+ history symbolizing a place of acceptance and self-expression during a challenging era.

Wearing Nana Jacqueline

Click here to read about Dee’s outings and aboutings.

Hey Girls! I love photos of out-and-about girls like us. If you have an out-and-about photo that you are willing to share here, email it to me and I will publish it in a future post.

Restroom Etiquette

 

Wearing Mac Duggal

Lily stepping out

Stuff: What do we call ourselves?

By J. J. Atwell

English is a complex language and it can be confusing at times. In general, I prefer male pronouns (he, him, his) when in my guy mode of dress, which is pretty much always. When dressed though, I prefer female pronouns (she, her, hers) to reflect how I’m presenting in the world. I suspect that most Femulate readers do the same. It’s essentially the same thing as adopting a nom de femme when dressed. 

How do we refer to other CDs?

It is pretty much just being polite to refer to other CDs using female pronouns when they are presenting that way. When we go to group meetings we always use female names and pronouns when talking to the others in attendance. As long as they are dressed as a woman, then female pronouns are appropriate. 

Out with other CDs, but not dressed

We have developed friendships with other couples through our local CD group. We sometimes go out as “regular” couples and have a good time together. In those situations, the pronouns are always the regular male/female ones. An exception would be when talking in the third person about the femme side of one of the CDs. Perhaps, we want to say that a particular outfit would look good on the CDer, we would say that’s something that would look good on her.

More points of confusion

When exchanging text messages it’s sometimes confusing as to which pronouns to use. In general, I default to the male pronouns for the CDer when texting unless I’m specifically talking about girl stuff. 

It becomes even more confusing though when talking to my SO about something to do with our CD couple friends. Do I refer to them as guy name and SO’s name, such as Bob and Alice? Or as their CD name and SO’s name, such as Barbara and Alice? In my case, my SO quickly recognizes the male/female couple, but it takes her a moment to recognize them when I use the CD’s femme name. Perhaps that’s because I’ve known the CDs for a while, but she has only met them more recently. I’d be curious to hear what others do in this case.

I’ll be back

No matter what the pronoun, there will be more Stuff. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing Theory

William Reynolds femulating in the 1951 film No Questions Asked.

Modern Street Style

Wearing ModCloth

Eve out and about in Boston

NFL

Wearing Bebe

Leslie Phillips femulating in the 1970 British film Doctor In Trouble.
Thanks to Zoe who unearthed this femulation.
Click here to view the film on YouTube. (The femulation begins at the 49:40 mark.)

Stuff: Makeup Lessons

By J.J. Atwell

Let’s Consider Makeup

It seems to me that makeup is one of those things that women love or hate. I suppose most GGs accept it as just part of life. They learned how to do it as they grew up. They continue to do it because it’s just what women do. Some enjoy seeing how makeup enhances their appearance. Others prefer not to spend the time doing their makeup and go natural. 

For CDs though, I’m not sure we have a choice. With very few exceptions we pretty much need makeup to look feminine. Since most of us don’t learn about makeup as we grew up, we need to learn about it as we embark on our CD journey. How do we do that? I’ll tell you how I did it. Actually, how I’m still learning to do it. 

The Internet

One of the first things I did when I decided I needed to learn about makeup was to search the Internet. Doing that resulted in many, many results. Some helpful. Some not so much. Some directly conflicting with others. It left me more bewildered than it helped me. But it also helped me to realize that no matter what works for an individual on the Internet, doesn’t mean it will work for me.

Why is that? It’s because I’m unique. …and so are they. ….and so are you, my dear reader. Even leaving aside the fact that I’m a CD, and you may be as well, there are other things to consider. Your face shape. Your basic complexion, The major features of your face. All of those affect what you need for makeup to look your best. So I plunged ahead trying to do it myself. Some attempts were more successful than others. But soon I decided I needed personalized help. 

The Professionals

Ultimately, the best resource I’ve found is to go to the professionals: the makeup artists (MUA) at the beauty store. I’ve gone to Ulta, MAC and Sephora to chat with them about my makeup needs. They gave me very good advice about the color and type of foundation I’d need and of course, showed me where the products were in the store. 

I did most of that in guy mode, so don’t be afraid to go ahead and own it. I had no bad or even odd reactions from the MUA when I explained that I was a CD and needed information about makeup to make my presentation more realistic. After several visits to my favorite Sephora store, I became comfortable talking openly to them about makeup. 

Sephora, like MAC and Ulta, offers makeovers. One day, I decided to go ahead and book a makeover before one of our CD group meetings. I asked if I should come with makeup or without. They said to do whatever I was comfortable with. If I had arrived with makeup on, they would just remove it to start the process, so I decided to go with the absolute minimum of a color correcting tinted moisturizer and lipstick. 

During the makeover they explained what products they are using and why. You watch them apply the makeup and you can see the improvement as they do one side of the face first. 

Just a note: I was indeed presenting as female when I went to the store for my makeover. I thought I looked pretty good as I walked in. I was greeted warmly and as soon as I said I was there for a makeover, I was instantly recognized. They had seen me as a guy many times and they knew I dressed, but had not seen me en femme before. They quickly put me at ease, asked for my femme name, and treated me as just another female customer the entire time. 

I’ll Be Back

Once I clean off my makeup, I’ll be looking for more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Bebe

Jim O’Pecko shopping out and about 

What do they think of me?

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

As a transgender woman, I’ve often found myself pondering the thoughts of others, particularly those of other women, when I’m out in public. The simple act of being addressed as “ma’am” or having a door held open for me can bring immense joy and validation. It’s a small gesture that can make a world of difference.

For many transgender women, like myself, the desire to be seen and perceived as a woman is deeply rooted in our identity. While it may not be a priority for everyone, it's a crucial aspect of my own journey. Presenting in a feminine way, whether through clothing, makeup, or other means, has allowed me to express my true self and alleviate the distress I've felt living in a body that didn't align with my gender identity.

As a transgender woman who hasn't transitioned, I've often wondered how others perceive me. While I may “pass” as a woman in certain situations, there are often subtle cues that can reveal my transgender identity. To better understand the thoughts and perceptions of others, I decided to conduct a small experiment. 

Inspired by JJ’s recent Stuff post, I recalled a question I posed on Reddit: What do you think of crossdressers in public? I shared several photos of myself and received a variety of responses.

I posed a question to the askwomen forum with over 40,000 subscribers asking them to share their thoughts. 

The responses to the question about crossdressers in public were largely positive and accepting, reflecting a growing shift towards greater tolerance and understanding of gender diversity. A significant number of women commented that they would have assumed the crossdresser was a cisgender woman, demonstrating a growing acceptance of gender fluidity. Some even found it refreshing or inspiring to see someone expressing their individuality.

Several comments highlighted concerns about safety, particularly in areas where crossdressing might be met with hostility. There were also a few instances where women admitted to briefly noticing or judging the crossdresser's outfit, but these were generally mild and not malicious.

While a small minority of respondents expressed discomfort or disapproval, their comments were often overshadowed by the overwhelming positivity of the rest of the forum. Many women praised the crossdresser's confidence and courage and expressed a desire for greater acceptance of gender nonconformity in society.

Just to note when posed with the question, “How would you feel if your husband was a crossdresser.” The reactions are almost all negative.

In conclusion, the responses from the women’s forum suggest that the majority of people are becoming more open-minded and tolerant of crossdressing and other forms of gender expression. While there is still work to be done to ensure the safety and well-being of transgender individuals, the overall trend is encouraging and points to a future where everyone can feel free to express their true selves without fear of judgment or discrimination.

Click here to view the question, answers and links to photos of me for respondents to use as a point of reference.

Wearing Cara Cara skirt, Alaia shoes, Khaite jacket and Yliana Yepez bag.

Kandi Robbins of Kandi’s Land fame

How I spent my summer vacation

Monday, I went to the Big E with 86,000 of my friends. The weather was perfect, but it was too crowded. The drive to West Springfield took less than an hour, but the last two or three miles into the Big E site took another hour! I've been going to the Big E all my life and never saw the amount of traffic that I saw on Monday.

I did enjoy seeing all the animals at the fair as well as Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits fame. Despite his age, his voice was still very good and he sang all his hits from the 1960’s.

I did see a femulator at the Big E and only recognized her as one of us because her very visible beard shadow gave her away (to me) – maybe civilians didn’t notice. She was otherwise cute and petite – very passable.

Tuesday was our 41st wedding anniversary. My family took my wife and I out to dinner and we partied at my daughter’s domicile afterwords.

Wednesday was a girls’ day out – lunch with some of my T-girl friends. However, I was a no-show because after I said I would do lunch with the ladies, my daughter reminded me that I had promised to drive her to the airport that day. I hope my friends had a pleasant lunch – I wish I was there.

The rest of the week, I relaxed when I wasn’t doing housework. 

I thought about going out en femme solo on Thursday or Friday, but my wife was feeling ill and I did not want to leave her alone.

And so it goes.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Jeanette Johnson out and about at a casino in Lake Charles, Louisiana