Restroom Etiquette

 

Wearing Mac Duggal

Lily stepping out

Stuff: What do we call ourselves?

By J. J. Atwell

English is a complex language and it can be confusing at times. In general, I prefer male pronouns (he, him, his) when in my guy mode of dress, which is pretty much always. When dressed though, I prefer female pronouns (she, her, hers) to reflect how I’m presenting in the world. I suspect that most Femulate readers do the same. It’s essentially the same thing as adopting a nom de femme when dressed. 

How do we refer to other CDs?

It is pretty much just being polite to refer to other CDs using female pronouns when they are presenting that way. When we go to group meetings we always use female names and pronouns when talking to the others in attendance. As long as they are dressed as a woman, then female pronouns are appropriate. 

Out with other CDs, but not dressed

We have developed friendships with other couples through our local CD group. We sometimes go out as “regular” couples and have a good time together. In those situations, the pronouns are always the regular male/female ones. An exception would be when talking in the third person about the femme side of one of the CDs. Perhaps, we want to say that a particular outfit would look good on the CDer, we would say that’s something that would look good on her.

More points of confusion

When exchanging text messages it’s sometimes confusing as to which pronouns to use. In general, I default to the male pronouns for the CDer when texting unless I’m specifically talking about girl stuff. 

It becomes even more confusing though when talking to my SO about something to do with our CD couple friends. Do I refer to them as guy name and SO’s name, such as Bob and Alice? Or as their CD name and SO’s name, such as Barbara and Alice? In my case, my SO quickly recognizes the male/female couple, but it takes her a moment to recognize them when I use the CD’s femme name. Perhaps that’s because I’ve known the CDs for a while, but she has only met them more recently. I’d be curious to hear what others do in this case.

I’ll be back

No matter what the pronoun, there will be more Stuff. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing Theory

William Reynolds femulating in the 1951 film No Questions Asked.

Modern Street Style

Wearing ModCloth

Eve out and about in Boston

NFL

Wearing Bebe

Leslie Phillips femulating in the 1970 British film Doctor In Trouble.
Thanks to Zoe who unearthed this femulation.
Click here to view the film on YouTube. (The femulation begins at the 49:40 mark.)

Stuff: Makeup Lessons

By J.J. Atwell

Let’s Consider Makeup

It seems to me that makeup is one of those things that women love or hate. I suppose most GGs accept it as just part of life. They learned how to do it as they grew up. They continue to do it because it’s just what women do. Some enjoy seeing how makeup enhances their appearance. Others prefer not to spend the time doing their makeup and go natural. 

For CDs though, I’m not sure we have a choice. With very few exceptions we pretty much need makeup to look feminine. Since most of us don’t learn about makeup as we grew up, we need to learn about it as we embark on our CD journey. How do we do that? I’ll tell you how I did it. Actually, how I’m still learning to do it. 

The Internet

One of the first things I did when I decided I needed to learn about makeup was to search the Internet. Doing that resulted in many, many results. Some helpful. Some not so much. Some directly conflicting with others. It left me more bewildered than it helped me. But it also helped me to realize that no matter what works for an individual on the Internet, doesn’t mean it will work for me.

Why is that? It’s because I’m unique. …and so are they. ….and so are you, my dear reader. Even leaving aside the fact that I’m a CD, and you may be as well, there are other things to consider. Your face shape. Your basic complexion, The major features of your face. All of those affect what you need for makeup to look your best. So I plunged ahead trying to do it myself. Some attempts were more successful than others. But soon I decided I needed personalized help. 

The Professionals

Ultimately, the best resource I’ve found is to go to the professionals: the makeup artists (MUA) at the beauty store. I’ve gone to Ulta, MAC and Sephora to chat with them about my makeup needs. They gave me very good advice about the color and type of foundation I’d need and of course, showed me where the products were in the store. 

I did most of that in guy mode, so don’t be afraid to go ahead and own it. I had no bad or even odd reactions from the MUA when I explained that I was a CD and needed information about makeup to make my presentation more realistic. After several visits to my favorite Sephora store, I became comfortable talking openly to them about makeup. 

Sephora, like MAC and Ulta, offers makeovers. One day, I decided to go ahead and book a makeover before one of our CD group meetings. I asked if I should come with makeup or without. They said to do whatever I was comfortable with. If I had arrived with makeup on, they would just remove it to start the process, so I decided to go with the absolute minimum of a color correcting tinted moisturizer and lipstick. 

During the makeover they explained what products they are using and why. You watch them apply the makeup and you can see the improvement as they do one side of the face first. 

Just a note: I was indeed presenting as female when I went to the store for my makeover. I thought I looked pretty good as I walked in. I was greeted warmly and as soon as I said I was there for a makeover, I was instantly recognized. They had seen me as a guy many times and they knew I dressed, but had not seen me en femme before. They quickly put me at ease, asked for my femme name, and treated me as just another female customer the entire time. 

I’ll Be Back

Once I clean off my makeup, I’ll be looking for more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Bebe

Jim O’Pecko shopping out and about 

What do they think of me?

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

As a transgender woman, I’ve often found myself pondering the thoughts of others, particularly those of other women, when I’m out in public. The simple act of being addressed as “ma’am” or having a door held open for me can bring immense joy and validation. It’s a small gesture that can make a world of difference.

For many transgender women, like myself, the desire to be seen and perceived as a woman is deeply rooted in our identity. While it may not be a priority for everyone, it's a crucial aspect of my own journey. Presenting in a feminine way, whether through clothing, makeup, or other means, has allowed me to express my true self and alleviate the distress I've felt living in a body that didn't align with my gender identity.

As a transgender woman who hasn't transitioned, I've often wondered how others perceive me. While I may “pass” as a woman in certain situations, there are often subtle cues that can reveal my transgender identity. To better understand the thoughts and perceptions of others, I decided to conduct a small experiment. 

Inspired by JJ’s recent Stuff post, I recalled a question I posed on Reddit: What do you think of crossdressers in public? I shared several photos of myself and received a variety of responses.

I posed a question to the askwomen forum with over 40,000 subscribers asking them to share their thoughts. 

The responses to the question about crossdressers in public were largely positive and accepting, reflecting a growing shift towards greater tolerance and understanding of gender diversity. A significant number of women commented that they would have assumed the crossdresser was a cisgender woman, demonstrating a growing acceptance of gender fluidity. Some even found it refreshing or inspiring to see someone expressing their individuality.

Several comments highlighted concerns about safety, particularly in areas where crossdressing might be met with hostility. There were also a few instances where women admitted to briefly noticing or judging the crossdresser's outfit, but these were generally mild and not malicious.

While a small minority of respondents expressed discomfort or disapproval, their comments were often overshadowed by the overwhelming positivity of the rest of the forum. Many women praised the crossdresser's confidence and courage and expressed a desire for greater acceptance of gender nonconformity in society.

Just to note when posed with the question, “How would you feel if your husband was a crossdresser.” The reactions are almost all negative.

In conclusion, the responses from the women’s forum suggest that the majority of people are becoming more open-minded and tolerant of crossdressing and other forms of gender expression. While there is still work to be done to ensure the safety and well-being of transgender individuals, the overall trend is encouraging and points to a future where everyone can feel free to express their true selves without fear of judgment or discrimination.

Click here to view the question, answers and links to photos of me for respondents to use as a point of reference.

Wearing Cara Cara skirt, Alaia shoes, Khaite jacket and Yliana Yepez bag.

Kandi Robbins of Kandi’s Land fame

How I spent my summer vacation

Monday, I went to the Big E with 86,000 of my friends. The weather was perfect, but it was too crowded. The drive to West Springfield took less than an hour, but the last two or three miles into the Big E site took another hour! I've been going to the Big E all my life and never saw the amount of traffic that I saw on Monday.

I did enjoy seeing all the animals at the fair as well as Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits fame. Despite his age, his voice was still very good and he sang all his hits from the 1960’s.

I did see a femulator at the Big E and only recognized her as one of us because her very visible beard shadow gave her away (to me) – maybe civilians didn’t notice. She was otherwise cute and petite – very passable.

Tuesday was our 41st wedding anniversary. My family took my wife and I out to dinner and we partied at my daughter’s domicile afterwords.

Wednesday was a girls’ day out – lunch with some of my T-girl friends. However, I was a no-show because after I said I would do lunch with the ladies, my daughter reminded me that I had promised to drive her to the airport that day. I hope my friends had a pleasant lunch – I wish I was there.

The rest of the week, I relaxed when I wasn’t doing housework. 

I thought about going out en femme solo on Thursday or Friday, but my wife was feeling ill and I did not want to leave her alone.

And so it goes.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Jeanette Johnson out and about at a casino in Lake Charles, Louisiana

YES!

Source: Rue La La

Vince Clarke and Andy Bell femulating in Erasure’s music video for Take A Chance On Me. Click here to view this video on YouTube.

Vacation

I'm taking a vacation. I will be back real soon now!

Stuff: What do GGs think of us?

By J.J. Atwell

I don’t really know!

So why write about it? Because I’m genuinely curious. And I encourage you to think about it, too. 

The few GGs (genetic girls) I’m out to find it “interesting.” What a great, non-definitive word. Kind of reminds me of that old curse “may you live in interesting times.”

Just because several GGs know and accept my girl side, I don’t assume that reflects on what all GGs think. In fact, my sample size is very small and it is definitely slanted towards GGs who would be favorable. After all, I wouldn’t have come out to them if I didn’t think they would be OK with it. 

Are we different?

Well, yes we are different. And it’s not just the difference in our bodies. As guys we are raised differently and have different life experiences and women, of course have very different life experiences. How we live our lives is heavily influenced by societal norms. 

As crossdressers we are in the awkward position of bridging the gap between the two worlds. Kind of like the boater with one foot on the dock and one in the boat. A challenge to hold it together without falling. We need to spend time observing and emulating the women around us. Behaving as a guy while presenting as female raises lots of questions. 

You know the typical questions we get when we out ourselves to a woman. Are you gay? Aren’t you happy as a guy? Do you want to become a woman? Why do you do this? All perfectly reasonable questions from the women. How many of us have reasonable answers? 

Have you adequately communicated that to the women in your life? I try to do that but I pretty much fail at the why question. All I know is that I enjoy it when I get dressed and present as female. I suppose enjoyment is a valid answer to that big question. At least I hope the women in my life agree. 

Respect

In the end, I suspect the answer to the question, “what do GGs think of crossdressers is all over the place.” Some love us. Some detest us. Some (most?) just don’t think about us at all. It’s not as if most GGs encounter crossdressers at all. They’ve probably seen drag queens on TV or even in person, but the ordinary run-of-the-mill crossdresser? Not so much. So they really don’t understand us any more than we understand ourselves. 

How do we handle this? Basically by being good human beings. By showing support for others. 

By helping others we can help ourselves. And maybe others will be willing to help us. In a word – respect.

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Bebe

A beautiful femulating sister out and about.

Hey Girls! I love photos of out-and-about girls like us. If you have an out-and-about photo that you are willing to share here, email it to me and I will publish it in a future post.

More Weather to Crossdress

 

Wearing Bardot

Jorge femulated Elena Gheorghe on Romanian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.