Stuff: Ladies’ Room Etiquette

By J.J. Atwell

When you need to go when you are out

Those of us who go out in public as our girl self will need to answer the call of nature at some point.  When dressed, there are a couple of options, but the most obvious is to use the ladies’ room. I suppose you could use the men’s room, but that might not be safe. You might also look for a companion or single-sex facility, but that might not be an option at the time. 

So what should I know?

It will most likely be cleaner than the men’s rooms you are familiar with. That’s nice. You’ll find a bunch of stalls, a lot of sinks and mirrors. Exactly what you probably expect to find. You might also see a floral arrangement and tissues. There might also be a dispenser for various feminine products. 

Depending on where you are when the need arrises, you might be faced with a line to get in. It shouldn’t come as any surprise to you that women do take longer in the bathroom than guys do. Somehow that fact has escaped the notice of most architects when they design buildings and there are just not enough ladies’ facilities. This is especially true if you are at a sports stadium, theater or concert venue where there is a rush during breaks.  

OK, so there’s a line. Don’t let that bother you. Assume your place in the line and once you get to the front, the next stall is yours. Hang your purse on the hook on the back of the door and sit down to do your business. Once done, double-check to make sure you’ve rearranged your clothing correctly. Step out of the stall and go to the sink to wash your hands and perhaps, inspect your makeup. It might be time to reapply some lipstick. But try not to monopolize the facilities. Others need it, too. Just do a quick check and then go back out the door. And do check out yourself in the full-length mirror to be sure everything is in order.

Respect

Remember, this is traditionally a women‘s-only place. They typically view it as a safe place. You are an interloper. Be polite and considerate. Don’t shake that view for them. 

Sometimes there will be people talking in there while other times it’s silent. My GG friend Alicia says for her it all depends on how many beers or glasses of wine she’s had. 

You might find that somebody starts a conversation with you. Women sometimes talk openly to strangers. They might offer a compliment about your outfit or the color of your dress. A return compliment is always a nice gesture. These conversations are a nice way of giving or getting support. Embrace the occasion, but don’t hold up progress. 

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Stana’s Note: Different jurisdictions in these United States have different laws, regulations  and ordinances regarding males using female bathroom facilities. In some jurisdictions, you can literally end up in jail for sitting to pee. On the other hand, in some jurisdictions, if you present as a lady, than it is OK to use the ladies’ room. At a minimum, you should know what is legal in your home town/county/state, so that you can make an educated choice before entering a ladies’ room. Similarly, you should find out what’s what in any locales you travel to or vacation at. So click here to find out what’s what any place in the USA.)

Wearing Stuart Weitzman (boots)

Paul Lambert femulating on British television’s Emmerdale.

Our Female Future

Wearing Venus

Bob Sagat and David Coulier femulating in an episode of television’s Full House.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Reformation

Philip Seymour Hoffman femulating in the 1999 film Flawless.

My Sister

Sunday’s post moved Elise to comment, “I love today's funny! I often wonder, if I had a sister, what would have been the odds of me trying on her clothes? I totally know it would be >100%! And what would have been the odds that I didn't put something away correctly and/or she would have caught me? Probably close to 100%. I’m curious if those who have a sister can confirm if my percentages are correct.”

I replied, “My sister is two years younger than me and I wore her (and my mother's) clothes whenever I was home alone. I had a couple of close calls, but she never caught me.”

Although my sister was younger, she was tall, so lucky for me, most of her clothes fit me. My mother was also tall and even though I had full access to her wardrobe, her wardrobe was more mature, whereas my sister’s wardrobe was youthful and more desirable by a girl my age. Not that I abandoned my mother’s wardrobe; her wide range of foundation garments outshined my sister’s, so when I crossdressed, I usually wore my mother’s bra, girdle and nylons under my sister’s dress.

My sister was messy and she probably never noticed if something was out of place, so as far as I know, she never suspected I was getting into her stuff. On the other hand, my mother was neat and very organized and I assume that clued her in to what I was doing. My mother used very little makeup, whereas my sister had lots, so my sister’s stuff was more attractive to a young girl like me in that regard, too.

Besides my sister’s youthful, circa 1970 wardrobe, she also had a beautiful prom dress that my mother sewed for her. It was the most body-conscious dress she owned and when I wore it with the proper foundation garments, I looked fabulous!

Regarding being caught, I had one close call. Home alone, I was crossdressed when I heard the garage door open. Mom and Sis had returned from shopping much earlier than I expected. 

I had some time to switch from girl mode to boy mode because we had a manually operated garage door, which meant that my mother had to get out if the car to open the garage door, walk back to the car, drive the car into the garage, get out of the car, close the garage door, then gather up whatever she had purchased and carry it upstairs (the garage was under the house).

I managed to switch modes and return miladies’ wardrobes to their original state before Mom and Sis climbed upstairs to our living quarters. I was pretty pleased with myself because I had dodged the bullet. But a few minutes later, after Mom entered her bedroom, she asked, “Stanley – why are my shoes out?”

Nuts! I forgot to put her high heels back in her closet!

I had to think fast. Back then, I was drawing a lot – a cartoonist in the making – so my very lame excuse was that I borrowed her shoes because I was drawing shoes and I needed a model.

She bought it and I was very relieved. But years later, I figured out that she knew about my crossdressing and I imagine that the high heel episode was just more evidence of my secret identity.

Mom never confronted me about my crossdressing, although on countless occasions she asked, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

I realize now that she was reaching out to me, but I was a clueless idiot and always said, “No,” which I now very much regret.

On the other hand, my sister was clueless and probably did not suspect anything until she saw me crossdressed for Halloween. Some years later, I came out to her and it did not go well, which surprised me because she is a big supporter of LGBTQ+ people… except for me. 

It hurt especially since we were so close. We are still very close, but my crossdressing is the muzzled elephant in the room.

And so it goes.

Wearing Elágia

Femulating guests at Casa Susanna, circa 1962. The lady on the left is Darrell G. Raynor, the author of A Year Among the Girls, the book that revealed to me that I was not alone.

No Man's Land

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

French World War II Prisoners of War (POWs) femulating in German prison camp, circa 1943.

Hair Affairs III

By Norah Blucher

Hopefully, as you’ve been reading along here, I’ve given you some points to ponder, to maybe spread your wings a bit and try something new. 

I personally stayed with brunette shades (my natural color) for years, as blonde never looked right on me. That was until my wig lady convinced me to try a “rooted” blonde wig with brunette roots and low lights and I took a gamble. It looked amazing and profoundly different. So much so that the first day I wore her, I walked past a mirror in my house and my heart skipped a beat as I thought for a second that someone had broken into my house! 

Looking back I laugh and feel silly. Who breaks into a house wearing heeled boots and a pencil skirt? Perhaps I was just miffed the tart didn’t knock. I would have made her some tea and chatted! Regardless, I survived the encounter and have been predominantly blonde ever since. And yes, I have had more fun. ; ) 

Color

Trying different styles is always exciting, but playing with different colors can be just as dramatic. Try on the same wig in two different colors and see what I mean. You may find yourself looking at two completely different girls in the mirror. Just be mindful that certain colors or tones of colors, look better on certain people. As a general rule, your natural hair color will always work well, but if you’re going for a wig, live it up and experiment! Most styles are available in fairly solid colors, but why not go for something that looks like a high end highlight or lowlight job? The rooted colors can also open up fabulous new doors for you as well, as I found out!

If you have begun to go grey or all grey, your original hair color can still be a good reference point for color or root color, but many wigs can be obtained in various shades of grey and grey blends as well. Never forget that a true lady like a fine wine, only improves with age, so don’t be afraid to be gracefully grey! In case you hadn’t noticed, shades of silvery or platinum grey are also popular with younger girls of any age as well and is actually something I may try myself!

And Now for Something Completely Different…

Has all of this got your mind going and now you can’t decide on the locks you’d love the most? Maybe you tried on several wigs and they all looked smashing? Just remember that it is a woman’s prerogative to change her mind and this girl is certainly no different. We would not wear the same shoes or clothes every day and with wigs, you don’t have to have the same hair every day either. Change your clothes or shoes and people know it. Change your hair and people may not know you... and your unknowing neighbors may just think you have a string of mistresses and a fetish for women who all drive the same car as you.

Seriously though, your hair really does have a huge impact on how you present to the world. It has likely not escaped you that every part of this series has a picture of me that’s different. This is not my wig history. These were all taken within a few weeks of each other and your first impression would likely be different for each one based on my hair. 

Number 1 is the life of the party and that friend you don’t go shopping without. You are likely inviting her on your next cruise. Just make it a Baltic or trans-Atlantic one though, dear, as I’d melt in the tropics. 

Number 3 is the exact same color and rather similar, albeit shorter. She’s my current “go to” and to me she screams tea and biscuits with a bit of retro flair, though I’d keep my eye on her as she’s a bit whimsical and might go chase a rabbit and fall down a hole to who knows where. Rather like how I found Stana’s blog here… 

Number 2 is a different creature all together. Practical to a fault, this girl has everything in her purse that she needs and nothing she doesn’t. And not that I have any qualifications to do so, but if this lady gave you financial or legal advice, you’d listen to it, wouldn’t you?

Changes don’t have to be as dramatic as this either. Even with their natural hair, some people keep the same style and go lighter in summer and darker in winter. Others always have the same color, dyed or natural, but change style with the seasons. With wigs, you can do the same, only easier. 

We aren’t topped off yet

We have certainly covered a lot in the wide world of wigs here and you are hopefully just about ready to go out and get the tresses you desire. Start looking, but I’ll be back again to cover more helpful tips. Until then, questions and comments are always welcome below or e-mail me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Stephen Carr femulating in an episode of television’s Adventures of Superman.

Wigless

Wearing Venus

Stephen Coogan femulating on stage as Pauline Calf

Stuff: When is a door not a door?

By J.J. Atwell

Old Joke but…

You know the old joke, “When is a door not a door?” And the answer of course is, “When it’s a jar.” OK, I can hear the groans. But today I’d like to talk about making that door not just ajar, but kicking it wide open. 

How out are you?

I know that Stana has lots of people that read her page regularly. No doubt some of you are at various levels of comfort when being out dressed. That is if you are even comfortable enough to go out of the house dressed. All I can say is that you are in control of your life and are the one that must make the decision to step out. 

Making the decision to go out of the house is intimidating. We imagine all kinds of issues that we may encounter. We build them up in our mind until we convince ourselves that it’s too dangerous or difficult to go out in public. So we wait for a better time. And we wait. And we wait. Before you know it, you’re in your 70’s and still haven’t stepped out of the house. 

Taking that big step

Somehow you’ve finally decided to just do it. Yes, a bold step, but you got yourself there. There will be lots of second thoughts popping into your head. Many excuses as to why today is not the right day. Push them aside. Stand by your decision to go out. Don’t let the doubts deprive you of a major accomplishment in your life. 

Stepping out of that door is an exhilarating experience. It is also scary. But the scary part gets easier and easier the more you do it. The exhilaration doesn’t go away. Enjoy yourself. That door is no longer a jar. 

I’ll be back

Yes, there will be more Stuff. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing JustFab

Steve Landesberg femulating on television’s Barney Miller.

Someday Funnies

 

Wearing Boston Proper

Marcin Rogacewicz femulating Debbie Harry on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar).
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Thank You!

I want to publicly thank the handful of readers who have contributed to my Coffee Break! Fund.

I wish I could thank each of you by name for your generous gifts, but I do not want to out anybody, so personal thank you’s will continue via personal emails. However, I do want to acknowledge you as best as I can publicly, so THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Trending: His & Her Outfits

Wearing Ann Taylor

Femulating on the New York City stage in Pageant: The Musical.