Thank You!

I want to publicly thank the handful of readers who have contributed to my Coffee Break! Fund.

I wish I could thank each of you by name for your generous gifts, but I do not want to out anybody, so personal thank you’s will continue via personal emails. However, I do want to acknowledge you as best as I can publicly, so THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Trending: His & Her Outfits

Wearing Ann Taylor

Femulating on the New York City stage in Pageant: The Musical.

Trending: Father and Son Outfits

Wearing ALLSAINTS

Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis femulating in Some Like It Hot.

Fall Back

Fall fashions are my favorite.

I am not a summer person. I don't like the heat, hate humidity more, and dread summerwear because the clothes of summer are too revealing.

It is not that I mind showing a little skin, but it requires a lot of hair removal. For example, when I wear a skimpy bikini to the beach, it requires hours of depilation.

I prefer autumn. The clothes are less revealing and require less prep in the hair removal department. Also, under the cover of fallwear, women like us can use all sorts of shapewear and surgical tape to mold our bodies into more feminine figures.

Finding the right shapewear can make a big difference in achieving a feminine silhouette. Here are some of the best options for femulators:

Breast Forms: These are essential for creating a natural-looking bust. They come in various shapes and sizes, so you can choose one that best suits your body type.

Hip Pads: These pads add volume to the hips and thighs, helping to create an hourglass figure. They are designed to be worn under clothing and can instantly enhance your curves1.

Girdles: These help to smooth out the waist, and hips, creating a more streamlined silhouette.

Corsets and Waist Cinchers: These are great for cinching the waist and creating a more defined waistline. They can be worn under clothing for a more dramatic effect.

Gaff Panties: These are designed to help with tucking and provide a smooth front appearance.

Each of these products can help you achieve a more feminine look and feel more confident in your appearance. 

This is just an overview of what is available to help girls like us to be more like girls like them. Future posts will take a closer look at the various shapewear options.   

Wearing Bebe

Donald Wollheim AKA Darrell G. Raynor, author of A Year Among the Girls

Hair Affairs II

By Norah Blucher 

They say you never forget your first and mine was a brunette with auburn highlights and side swept bangs that I picked up online. She was sort of cheap, but I was just trying things out for the first time and had no idea what I was getting into… I hope you do realize I’m talking about a wig! Did you think we were going somewhere else?

Anyway, after years of clothes and shoes I wanted to see what adding hair to the equation would offer and it was a turning point for me. I nervously plopped it on my head and was absolutely floored. I remember gazing into the mirror and thinking, “Wow, she’s actually sort of pretty.” I was not entirely sure who was looking back at me yet, but I knew I wanted to get to know her better! 

I got lucky I guess since a bad wig might have scared me off and since then I’ve gone through several iterations of hair style and color and looking back I could have gone about things better.

Where to Buy

Buying a wig online has all the benefits we have come to know and love with everything else we buy that way. The world’s selection is at your fingertips and you can find the best price as well. That said, always keep in mind wigs, unlike clothes or shoes, are usually a non returnable item, once you have unboxed it and combed it out. Even if it doesn’t fit or looks wretched on you, she’s your ugly baby now! No ifs, ands or buts. 

I have purchased most of my wigs online. As a result, I also have a bunch of wigs that don’t look good or fit well. At this point, I’ve become a pretty good judge of what works for me, but it took time... and mistakes. You can avoid that madness and the associated cost by going to a store.

Going to a store removes the guessing game from the selection process and I wish I had done that first. Some wigs look quite fetching on the model in the picture and dreadful on you. While another you would never have considered from a picture, can just fit your head and frame your face in such a way that Helen of Troy has nothing over you. At a store, you can try things on in different colors and styles and only buy what you like. 

If you go to a store, consider calling ahead to see if an appointment is required. It may not be, but you will want to take your time picking something right for you and this way, you can have the undivided attention of a professional. One thing that may ease your mind is that as a whole, the wig business is very discreet. People buy wigs for different reasons, medical, personal and otherwise and everyone I have ever dealt with in that arena has been very discreet and respectful. 

Size

With wigs, size really does matter! Most brands have petite, average and large sizes and like clothes, there is no true consistency. We just can’t win, can we? I personally usually need a size large, though I can sometimes get away with an average, but may not be able to clip the hair up since I may lack full coverage on the back or sides.

No matter how much I like a style or prefer a certain type of cap, I stay away if it does not come in a suitable size, as is often the case with large. They just don’t make every style in large and there are so many I would love to get, but I’ve learned to live with that limitation. A wig that is too small will just not give you the coverage you need and may give you a headache after a while. If you are new to wigs or trying a new brand, this is why trying before you buy at a store is the way to go.

Cap Construction and Style

Wigs start with what is known as the cap. The way the cap is made has a myriad of options to consider, but there are a few basics you should keep in mind as you consider your wig.

Wefted caps – These are basically made of strips of elastic or cloth with hair sewn into what are called wefts. Rows of these wefts make up the cap. These wigs are the least expensive and work great for some styles that have no hair part and have heavier bangs. Just realize that anywhere hair does not hang down, the cap is visible, so tying all your hair up or anything like that could show you are wearing a wig. The open wefting makes these very breathable though, so if you run hot, this style can work well.

Monofiliment tops and lace fronts – Mono tops have a cap with the top consisting of a fine monofilament mesh in which individual hairs are tied on. This allows you to part your hair and have a realistic looking scalp underneath. Lace front wigs utilize a similar type of monofilament material in the very front, allowing for styles with no bangs and a very realistic hairline.

Hand tied lace caps – These are the creme de la crème of cap construction and utilize a fine lace all over in which each hair is tied on, much as wigs were made many years ago. These are the most expensive, but also the most versatile and everything moves and behaves much as naturally growing hair would. Combined with a mono top and lace front, you are free to tie up your hair, wear it off your face and do all sorts of styling.

Keep these things in mind when you consider the style of wig you want and how you want to wear it. Most of the good wig manufacturers are going to utilize a cap construction that works for the off the shelf styles at least, but if you are considering up-dos, hair clips or anything like that, pay attention to the cap construction to be able to do what you want with it. 

Beyond that, the style you wear is up to you! As you try different styles however, know that certain styles tend to work better with certain head and face shapes. I am no expert on that matter, but different styles will highlight your best features and soften others. Others will just not look right on you. 

In my own wig journey, all of my first wigs had rather thick, heavy bangs. The style looked good, but I also think I wanted as much of my face covered as possible. As I got more comfortable with everything, I was okay with longer bangs I could wear away from my face, though I still avoided styles that are long and straight in front or very short. Bangs or face framing layers help soften the angles of my somewhat square face. That’s me though. Long and straight in front or super short may make you look like a goddess. 

We are all shaped differently. If you are unsure, again, try different styles at a store and consider taking a friend along for another opinion. Above all, going with a style you feel confident in will help you along the way. 

More Highlights to Come!

We’ll leave things here for now, but hang tight and don’t rush out to get your newest hairpiece just yet. We still have a few more knots to comb through when I return. Until then, stay well and do your best to avoid any hairy situations. Questions or comments are always welcome below or you can contact me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.

Wearing StyleWe

Buster Keaton femulating in the 1931 film Sidewalks of New York.

Girl Talk

Developing a feminine voice can be a transformative and empowering experience for crossdressers. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you achieve a more feminine vocal presentation.

Understand the Basics of Voice Feminization

Pitch: Women generally speak at a higher pitch than men. Aim to raise your pitch without straining your voice. Practice speaking in a higher pitch gradually to avoid sounding unnatural.

Resonance: Female voices tend to have a lighter, more forward resonance. Focus on projecting your voice from the front of your mouth rather than your chest.

Intonation: Women often use more varied intonation patterns, adding a musical quality to their speech. Practice varying your pitch and tone to sound more expressive.

Practice Vocal Exercises

Pitch Glides: Start at a comfortable pitch and glide up to a higher pitch, then back down. This helps you find and control your higher pitch range.

Humming: Hum at different pitches to find a comfortable higher pitch. This helps you get used to the sensation of speaking at a higher pitch.

Reading Aloud: Read books or articles aloud, focusing on maintaining a higher pitch and varied intonation; mobile, read signs along the highways and byways. This helps you practice in a structured way. 

Adopt Feminine Speech Patterns

Vocabulary: Women often use more descriptive and emotive language. Incorporate more adjectives and emotional expressions into your speech.

Sentence Structure: Women tend to use more qualifiers and tag questions (e.g., “It’s nice, isn’t it?”). Practice using these to soften your speech.

Conversation Style: Women often engage in more collaborative and empathetic conversations. Practice active listening and asking more questions to show interest in others.

Work on Non-Verbal Communication

Facial Expressions: Use more expressive facial expressions to convey emotions. This complements your vocal changes and makes your speech more engaging.

Gestures: Incorporate gentle, fluid hand gestures to emphasize your points. Avoid abrupt or aggressive movements.

Seek Feedback and Practice Regularly

Record Yourself: Record your voice and listen to the playback to identify areas for improvement. This helps you track your progress and make adjustments.

Get Feedback: Ask friends or join online communities for feedback on your voice. Constructive criticism can help you refine your technique.

Consistent Practice: Regular practice is key to developing a natural-sounding feminine voice. Dedicate time each day to practice your vocal exercises and speech patterns. When I was still working, I often practiced my feminine voice during the half-hour commute to and from work.

Be Patient and Kind to Yourself

Progress Takes Time: Developing a feminine voice is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.

Confidence is Key: The most important aspect is to feel confident and comfortable with your voice. Confidence will make your voice sound more natural and authentic.

By following these steps and practicing regularly, you’ll be well on your way to achieving a more feminine voice. Remember, the journey is unique for everyone, so take your time and enjoy the process!

Wearing Anette

Frank Sully femulating in the 1942 film Kiss and Wake Up.

Stuff: Seeing the Girl Appear

By J.J. Atwell

Do you enjoy seeing the girl appear?

When you are getting ready to go out as your girl self, what is the process like for you? Do you enjoy seeing the girl appear in the mirror? Can you hardly wait for the finished product?  

Let’s think about that. You’ve just stepped out of the shower, so you are all clean and have shaved in all the important places. You look in the mirror and you see a guy. So you wrap a robe around yourself and start the process. Shapewear?  Makeup? Which is first?  

For me it’s shapewear. At least, once I’ve cooled off from the shower. On goes the underwear (with padded hips/butt) and the bra with whatever size forms I’m going to use for that outfit. Then I put on a robe. When I look in the mirror at that point, I still see a guy. Probably because it is my guy head on top of a poorly defined body hidden under that robe. Time to move on to the next step.

Let’s Add Some Makeup

My next step is the makeup. I’m still in the robe so that I don’t inadvertently get any makeup on my outfit. On goes the foundation to get a good base. But there is no color. Out come the various shades of makeup and brushes as I work to create a more feminine face. Brows become more defined, blush on the cheeks, shadow on the eyes and then lipstick to complement the outfit. Now looking in the mirror, do I see a girl? No. I still see my guy self, but with makeup on. Something more is needed.  

Does the Outfit Help?

Time to take off the robe and get dressed. Well, not completely dressed. No sense putting on the shoes and jewelry just yet. But at least I’m in the outfit and enjoying the feeling. Looking in the mirror now, do I see a girl? Well, maybe if I squint. But there is one more major step to erase the guy and bring out the girl.  

The Crowning Glory

It’s usually at this point that I put on my wig. Brushing it out first and then pulling it on my head. More brushing to get it to lay right and a bit of spray to keep it in place. Watching this happen in the mirror completes the image I’m after. Now I see a girl.  

Not Done Yet

Even with that vision of a girl in the mirror, I still need a few more things to complete the presentation. Got to slip into some shoes and add jewelry. I use clip-on earrings and must admit that it often takes me a few tries to get them on correctly. I’m just not used to watching myself do this in the mirror and my first try inevitably results in getting them on backward.  Sigh. Once I conquer that setback, it's time to add a necklace and bracelet. Of course, that all has to coordinate with the earrings and the rest of the outfit. But I find myself looking in the mirror at that point and just seeing a girl. My guy self is gone.    

I’ll Be Back

I’d love to hear from you about when the girl appears during your transition.  In the meantime, I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Camila Morrone

April Jones loves Stana's Way

Prettier Preference

Wearing Draper James

Sestre, femulating Slovenian singing group

What a difference!

Wearing Paige

Gabriel Sanches femulating on Brazilian television’s The Big Catch.

Love your shoes. Where’d you get ’em?

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

I recently read the Femulate article about mastering the art of walking in high heels, which brought back a flood of memories. My own high heel journey began in 1990, a time when the world of women's shoes felt like a distant planet.

Working near a Payless Shoe Store in Jersey City, New Jersey, I was surprised to find a huge selection of size 12 shoes—a stark contrast to the typically limited selection for larger feet found at the suburban Payless stores. 

One day, I mustered the courage to try on a pair of brown pumps. The thrill of finding a pair that fit was intoxicating. As I nervously brought them to the cashier, I overheard him say something in Spanish to a coworker. I’m sure he was commenting on the unusual sight of a man buying women’s shoes. But in that moment, I didn't care. I had my prize.

Those brown pumps marked the beginning of my exploration into the world of femininity, a world that as a transgender woman, felt both exciting and intimidating.

Payless Shoe Stores became my sanctuary. Urban centers like Jersey City, Newark and Manhattan were my go-to spots for finding those elusive size 12. These stores were a treasure trove consistently offering a wide selection that catered to my needs. For years, Payless was my reliable source for footwear as I navigated my journey.

Unfortunately, the closure of Payless was a significant blow. It left a void in the shoe market for femulators. The loss of this affordable and accessible option was a setback for many.

Brick-and-mortar stores have proven to be a consistent challenge for finding larger sizes. Even popular retailers like DSW can be hit or miss. Nordstroms is the only other brick and mortar store that has large sizes. They also are very helpful and accommodating to the transgender community. Don’t forget Nordstrom Rack – they always have a great selection of large sizes.

This has led many of us to embrace the world of online shopping. While trying on shoes virtually isn't ideal, platforms (pun intended) like Amazon offer unparalleled selection and filtering options. From size and width to price, you can narrow down your search to find the perfect pair.

However, online shopping comes with its own set of hurdles. For those of us concerned about privacy, Amazon lockers are a godsend. They offer a discreet way to receive your order. But for those living in remote areas like myself in Maine, the nearest locker might be a considerable distance away. And let’s face it, unexpected shoe boxes on your doorstep can sometimes raise eyebrows. Whereas, using Amazon gift cards purchased locally can help mitigate concerns about credit card statements.

Once you've mastered the art of online shoe shopping, it’s time to put those new heels to the test. Stana’s article on walking in high heels can be a valuable resource. Remember, practice makes perfect, and every step is a step forward.

Wearing Elágia

Femulating on stage in the Jewel Box Revue, circa 1966

Convergers

Wearing Boston Proper

The all-male cast of As You Like It at the University of Maine, 1907