Hair Affairs II

By Norah Blucher 

They say you never forget your first and mine was a brunette with auburn highlights and side swept bangs that I picked up online. She was sort of cheap, but I was just trying things out for the first time and had no idea what I was getting into… I hope you do realize I’m talking about a wig! Did you think we were going somewhere else?

Anyway, after years of clothes and shoes I wanted to see what adding hair to the equation would offer and it was a turning point for me. I nervously plopped it on my head and was absolutely floored. I remember gazing into the mirror and thinking, “Wow, she’s actually sort of pretty.” I was not entirely sure who was looking back at me yet, but I knew I wanted to get to know her better! 

I got lucky I guess since a bad wig might have scared me off and since then I’ve gone through several iterations of hair style and color and looking back I could have gone about things better.

Where to Buy

Buying a wig online has all the benefits we have come to know and love with everything else we buy that way. The world’s selection is at your fingertips and you can find the best price as well. That said, always keep in mind wigs, unlike clothes or shoes, are usually a non returnable item, once you have unboxed it and combed it out. Even if it doesn’t fit or looks wretched on you, she’s your ugly baby now! No ifs, ands or buts. 

I have purchased most of my wigs online. As a result, I also have a bunch of wigs that don’t look good or fit well. At this point, I’ve become a pretty good judge of what works for me, but it took time... and mistakes. You can avoid that madness and the associated cost by going to a store.

Going to a store removes the guessing game from the selection process and I wish I had done that first. Some wigs look quite fetching on the model in the picture and dreadful on you. While another you would never have considered from a picture, can just fit your head and frame your face in such a way that Helen of Troy has nothing over you. At a store, you can try things on in different colors and styles and only buy what you like. 

If you go to a store, consider calling ahead to see if an appointment is required. It may not be, but you will want to take your time picking something right for you and this way, you can have the undivided attention of a professional. One thing that may ease your mind is that as a whole, the wig business is very discreet. People buy wigs for different reasons, medical, personal and otherwise and everyone I have ever dealt with in that arena has been very discreet and respectful. 

Size

With wigs, size really does matter! Most brands have petite, average and large sizes and like clothes, there is no true consistency. We just can’t win, can we? I personally usually need a size large, though I can sometimes get away with an average, but may not be able to clip the hair up since I may lack full coverage on the back or sides.

No matter how much I like a style or prefer a certain type of cap, I stay away if it does not come in a suitable size, as is often the case with large. They just don’t make every style in large and there are so many I would love to get, but I’ve learned to live with that limitation. A wig that is too small will just not give you the coverage you need and may give you a headache after a while. If you are new to wigs or trying a new brand, this is why trying before you buy at a store is the way to go.

Cap Construction and Style

Wigs start with what is known as the cap. The way the cap is made has a myriad of options to consider, but there are a few basics you should keep in mind as you consider your wig.

Wefted caps – These are basically made of strips of elastic or cloth with hair sewn into what are called wefts. Rows of these wefts make up the cap. These wigs are the least expensive and work great for some styles that have no hair part and have heavier bangs. Just realize that anywhere hair does not hang down, the cap is visible, so tying all your hair up or anything like that could show you are wearing a wig. The open wefting makes these very breathable though, so if you run hot, this style can work well.

Monofiliment tops and lace fronts – Mono tops have a cap with the top consisting of a fine monofilament mesh in which individual hairs are tied on. This allows you to part your hair and have a realistic looking scalp underneath. Lace front wigs utilize a similar type of monofilament material in the very front, allowing for styles with no bangs and a very realistic hairline.

Hand tied lace caps – These are the creme de la crème of cap construction and utilize a fine lace all over in which each hair is tied on, much as wigs were made many years ago. These are the most expensive, but also the most versatile and everything moves and behaves much as naturally growing hair would. Combined with a mono top and lace front, you are free to tie up your hair, wear it off your face and do all sorts of styling.

Keep these things in mind when you consider the style of wig you want and how you want to wear it. Most of the good wig manufacturers are going to utilize a cap construction that works for the off the shelf styles at least, but if you are considering up-dos, hair clips or anything like that, pay attention to the cap construction to be able to do what you want with it. 

Beyond that, the style you wear is up to you! As you try different styles however, know that certain styles tend to work better with certain head and face shapes. I am no expert on that matter, but different styles will highlight your best features and soften others. Others will just not look right on you. 

In my own wig journey, all of my first wigs had rather thick, heavy bangs. The style looked good, but I also think I wanted as much of my face covered as possible. As I got more comfortable with everything, I was okay with longer bangs I could wear away from my face, though I still avoided styles that are long and straight in front or very short. Bangs or face framing layers help soften the angles of my somewhat square face. That’s me though. Long and straight in front or super short may make you look like a goddess. 

We are all shaped differently. If you are unsure, again, try different styles at a store and consider taking a friend along for another opinion. Above all, going with a style you feel confident in will help you along the way. 

More Highlights to Come!

We’ll leave things here for now, but hang tight and don’t rush out to get your newest hairpiece just yet. We still have a few more knots to comb through when I return. Until then, stay well and do your best to avoid any hairy situations. Questions or comments are always welcome below or you can contact me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.

Wearing StyleWe

Buster Keaton femulating in the 1931 film Sidewalks of New York.

Girl Talk

Developing a feminine voice can be a transformative and empowering experience for crossdressers. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you achieve a more feminine vocal presentation.

Understand the Basics of Voice Feminization

Pitch: Women generally speak at a higher pitch than men. Aim to raise your pitch without straining your voice. Practice speaking in a higher pitch gradually to avoid sounding unnatural.

Resonance: Female voices tend to have a lighter, more forward resonance. Focus on projecting your voice from the front of your mouth rather than your chest.

Intonation: Women often use more varied intonation patterns, adding a musical quality to their speech. Practice varying your pitch and tone to sound more expressive.

Practice Vocal Exercises

Pitch Glides: Start at a comfortable pitch and glide up to a higher pitch, then back down. This helps you find and control your higher pitch range.

Humming: Hum at different pitches to find a comfortable higher pitch. This helps you get used to the sensation of speaking at a higher pitch.

Reading Aloud: Read books or articles aloud, focusing on maintaining a higher pitch and varied intonation; mobile, read signs along the highways and byways. This helps you practice in a structured way. 

Adopt Feminine Speech Patterns

Vocabulary: Women often use more descriptive and emotive language. Incorporate more adjectives and emotional expressions into your speech.

Sentence Structure: Women tend to use more qualifiers and tag questions (e.g., “It’s nice, isn’t it?”). Practice using these to soften your speech.

Conversation Style: Women often engage in more collaborative and empathetic conversations. Practice active listening and asking more questions to show interest in others.

Work on Non-Verbal Communication

Facial Expressions: Use more expressive facial expressions to convey emotions. This complements your vocal changes and makes your speech more engaging.

Gestures: Incorporate gentle, fluid hand gestures to emphasize your points. Avoid abrupt or aggressive movements.

Seek Feedback and Practice Regularly

Record Yourself: Record your voice and listen to the playback to identify areas for improvement. This helps you track your progress and make adjustments.

Get Feedback: Ask friends or join online communities for feedback on your voice. Constructive criticism can help you refine your technique.

Consistent Practice: Regular practice is key to developing a natural-sounding feminine voice. Dedicate time each day to practice your vocal exercises and speech patterns. When I was still working, I often practiced my feminine voice during the half-hour commute to and from work.

Be Patient and Kind to Yourself

Progress Takes Time: Developing a feminine voice is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.

Confidence is Key: The most important aspect is to feel confident and comfortable with your voice. Confidence will make your voice sound more natural and authentic.

By following these steps and practicing regularly, you’ll be well on your way to achieving a more feminine voice. Remember, the journey is unique for everyone, so take your time and enjoy the process!

Wearing Anette

Frank Sully femulating in the 1942 film Kiss and Wake Up.

Stuff: Seeing the Girl Appear

By J.J. Atwell

Do you enjoy seeing the girl appear?

When you are getting ready to go out as your girl self, what is the process like for you? Do you enjoy seeing the girl appear in the mirror? Can you hardly wait for the finished product?  

Let’s think about that. You’ve just stepped out of the shower, so you are all clean and have shaved in all the important places. You look in the mirror and you see a guy. So you wrap a robe around yourself and start the process. Shapewear?  Makeup? Which is first?  

For me it’s shapewear. At least, once I’ve cooled off from the shower. On goes the underwear (with padded hips/butt) and the bra with whatever size forms I’m going to use for that outfit. Then I put on a robe. When I look in the mirror at that point, I still see a guy. Probably because it is my guy head on top of a poorly defined body hidden under that robe. Time to move on to the next step.

Let’s Add Some Makeup

My next step is the makeup. I’m still in the robe so that I don’t inadvertently get any makeup on my outfit. On goes the foundation to get a good base. But there is no color. Out come the various shades of makeup and brushes as I work to create a more feminine face. Brows become more defined, blush on the cheeks, shadow on the eyes and then lipstick to complement the outfit. Now looking in the mirror, do I see a girl? No. I still see my guy self, but with makeup on. Something more is needed.  

Does the Outfit Help?

Time to take off the robe and get dressed. Well, not completely dressed. No sense putting on the shoes and jewelry just yet. But at least I’m in the outfit and enjoying the feeling. Looking in the mirror now, do I see a girl? Well, maybe if I squint. But there is one more major step to erase the guy and bring out the girl.  

The Crowning Glory

It’s usually at this point that I put on my wig. Brushing it out first and then pulling it on my head. More brushing to get it to lay right and a bit of spray to keep it in place. Watching this happen in the mirror completes the image I’m after. Now I see a girl.  

Not Done Yet

Even with that vision of a girl in the mirror, I still need a few more things to complete the presentation. Got to slip into some shoes and add jewelry. I use clip-on earrings and must admit that it often takes me a few tries to get them on correctly. I’m just not used to watching myself do this in the mirror and my first try inevitably results in getting them on backward.  Sigh. Once I conquer that setback, it's time to add a necklace and bracelet. Of course, that all has to coordinate with the earrings and the rest of the outfit. But I find myself looking in the mirror at that point and just seeing a girl. My guy self is gone.    

I’ll Be Back

I’d love to hear from you about when the girl appears during your transition.  In the meantime, I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Camila Morrone

April Jones loves Stana's Way

Prettier Preference

Wearing Draper James

Sestre, femulating Slovenian singing group

What a difference!

Wearing Paige

Gabriel Sanches femulating on Brazilian television’s The Big Catch.

Love your shoes. Where’d you get ’em?

By Paula Gaikowski (paula.gaikowski@gmail.com)

I recently read the Femulate article about mastering the art of walking in high heels, which brought back a flood of memories. My own high heel journey began in 1990, a time when the world of women's shoes felt like a distant planet.

Working near a Payless Shoe Store in Jersey City, New Jersey, I was surprised to find a huge selection of size 12 shoes—a stark contrast to the typically limited selection for larger feet found at the suburban Payless stores. 

One day, I mustered the courage to try on a pair of brown pumps. The thrill of finding a pair that fit was intoxicating. As I nervously brought them to the cashier, I overheard him say something in Spanish to a coworker. I’m sure he was commenting on the unusual sight of a man buying women’s shoes. But in that moment, I didn't care. I had my prize.

Those brown pumps marked the beginning of my exploration into the world of femininity, a world that as a transgender woman, felt both exciting and intimidating.

Payless Shoe Stores became my sanctuary. Urban centers like Jersey City, Newark and Manhattan were my go-to spots for finding those elusive size 12. These stores were a treasure trove consistently offering a wide selection that catered to my needs. For years, Payless was my reliable source for footwear as I navigated my journey.

Unfortunately, the closure of Payless was a significant blow. It left a void in the shoe market for femulators. The loss of this affordable and accessible option was a setback for many.

Brick-and-mortar stores have proven to be a consistent challenge for finding larger sizes. Even popular retailers like DSW can be hit or miss. Nordstroms is the only other brick and mortar store that has large sizes. They also are very helpful and accommodating to the transgender community. Don’t forget Nordstrom Rack – they always have a great selection of large sizes.

This has led many of us to embrace the world of online shopping. While trying on shoes virtually isn't ideal, platforms (pun intended) like Amazon offer unparalleled selection and filtering options. From size and width to price, you can narrow down your search to find the perfect pair.

However, online shopping comes with its own set of hurdles. For those of us concerned about privacy, Amazon lockers are a godsend. They offer a discreet way to receive your order. But for those living in remote areas like myself in Maine, the nearest locker might be a considerable distance away. And let’s face it, unexpected shoe boxes on your doorstep can sometimes raise eyebrows. Whereas, using Amazon gift cards purchased locally can help mitigate concerns about credit card statements.

Once you've mastered the art of online shoe shopping, it’s time to put those new heels to the test. Stana’s article on walking in high heels can be a valuable resource. Remember, practice makes perfect, and every step is a step forward.

Wearing Elágia

Femulating on stage in the Jewel Box Revue, circa 1966

Convergers

Wearing Boston Proper

The all-male cast of As You Like It at the University of Maine, 1907

How to High Heel

Walking in high heels can be a fun and empowering experience, but it does require some practice and the right techniques. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you strut confidently in heels.

Choose the Right Heels

Start Small: Begin with a lower heel (1-2 inches) and a wider base, such as block heels or wedges. These provide more stability and are easier to walk in.

Fit Matters: Ensure your heels fit well. Too tight, and they’ll be painful; too loose, and they’ll be hard to walk in. Consider using insoles for added comfort.

Practice Good Posture

Stand Tall: Keep your back straight and shoulders back. Engage your core muscles to maintain balance.

Heel to Toe: Place your heel down first, then roll onto your toes. This helps distribute your weight more evenly and prevents you from tipping forward.

Take Small Steps

Short Strides: Take smaller steps than you would in flat shoes. This helps maintain balance and control.

Straight Line: Imagine walking along a straight line, placing one foot in front of the other. This not only helps with balance but also gives a more elegant look.

Navigate Different Surfaces

Smooth Surfaces: Practice on smooth, even surfaces first. Once you’re comfortable, try walking on carpets, grass, or cobblestones.

Stairs: Use handrails when going up or down stairs. Place your whole foot on each step rather than just the heel or toe.

Build Your Confidence

Practice at Home: Spend time walking around your home in heels to get used to the feel and balance.

Gradual Increase: Gradually increase the height of your heels as you become more comfortable and confident.

Listen to Your Body

Take Breaks: If your feet start to hurt, take a break. It’s important to give your feet time to adjust.

Carry Flats: Always have a pair of flats or comfortable shoes with you in case you need to switch.

Have Fun

Confidence is Key: The most important thing is to feel confident and enjoy the experience. Walking in heels can be a fun way to express yourself and try something new.

By following these tips, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the art of walking in high heels. Remember, practice makes perfect, so take your time and enjoy the journey!

Wearing Nine West

Grayson Perry

Hair Affairs

By Norah Blucher

For so many it is all about the clothes and while I positively obsess over clothes as much as anyone, hair is on an equally high pedestal for me. Perhaps, coming from a family of hair stylists, it’s genetic, but tailors and seamstresses are also in the tree, so perhaps I’m just blessed... or cursed. My accountant and the local outlet mall would likely give you differing opinions. 

I always felt that one’s hair says so much about them. People regularly change clothes to fit their job or task du jour, but hairstyle or color are less mutable, though we often have broader liberty to pick something we like. Beyond what just may look good on a person, the pragmatic bob, sleek and professional coif, sassy perm, long elegant layers, edgy razor cut and dramatic colors speak volumes to who we are or desire to be.

Many of us here have some obstacles to the style we fancy though, be they appeasing the social norms of another life, practical reasons of work or lifestyle or our own bio hair just won’t cooperate or has even abandoned us! Whatever those reasons may be, the solution many of us turn to in order to get the look we desire is wigs. The options are endless these days and rather than view wigs as a crutch, look at them as the endless possibilities they are. I have certainly made my share of poor choices in my quest for the perfect do as well, so I hope to share with you some of the hard things I have learned along the way, as well as the fun! 

Human Hair or Synthetic?

Wigs can be procured in both human hair and synthetic versions. Human hair is obviously going to be the most lifelike; it is real hair after all, but it has some drawbacks to be aware of. It is expensive for one. A good human hair wig is going to run several times the cost of a good synthetic one with similar features. Natural hair also requires more care, so unless you like a straight style, expect to spend time styling your wig regularly, as any other girl would do with her hair. That said, it can be a lot of fun, too. 

Also note that though human hair wigs usually come in less styles and colors than synthetics, they can be cut and colored any way you like. Just for the love of god, please have a professional do this, unless you are experienced, less you drop the equivalent of a mortgage payment on something you wouldn’t wear to pull weeds from the garden.

If you are new to wigs, like to own many styles, can’t be bothered fixing your hair every day or cost is a factor, synthetic wigs are the way to go. Truth be told, I only own one human hair wig and seldom take it out and I like hair! Modern synthetic hair wigs look so lifelike, require so little fuss, are so much less expensive and come in so many styles and colors – there is something for everyone. Best of all, the style is baked into the wig and lasts, which is quite nice when your prep routine is likely too long as it is. 

Some special synthetics can also be restyled with heat tools, so you can change the look if you want and then it stays that way until you change it. Heat resistant fibers also tend to be a bit more dull and lack that tell-tale shine regular synthetics can have. Can life get any better! Just note, you need heat styling tools with a low setting and there is some skill involved. Unless you are going for an extreme restyle, a round barrel brush and a hair dryer on low is a bit more forgiving as well.

Let’s just say yours truly used a steamer once to get the frizzies out of her favorite wig (a legitimate method), got a bit over zealous and straightened the whole thing out! After shedding some tears, as though I had literally just maimed my best friend, I was fortunately able to restyle her. She never looked like she did originally, but is still rather cute and certainly as one-of-a-kind as her owner. We’ve enjoyed many more happy memories together since, so that cloud did have a silver lining!

We’re Just Getting Warmed-Up Here

I have hopefully gotten you thinking about a few things for now, so I’ll leave you to that, but I promise to be back real soon to talk more about where and how you can get the locks you desire and start your own hair affair. Until then, keep calm and wig out! Questions and comments are always welcome below or e-mail me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me.

Wearing Paula Young

Marek Kaliszuk femulating Ariana Grande on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff: How Do You Measure Up?

By J.J. Atwell

I suspect we have all measured ourselves at some point. No doubt the typical bust, waist, hips measurement. It’s kind of important to know those dimensions when you are shopping. 

I do a lot of shopping online and find the size charts for specific pieces of clothing to be very helpful in deciding if I’m a M, L or XL in their eyes. Even with the manufacturers’ size charts, be sure to read any reviews that you may find in on line stores. Sometimes you’ll find comments that the item runs small or large or to size, so you’ll adjust your target size accordingly.

When buying a top, the bust measurement is typically the deciding factor, although shoulder width might enter into it. For a skirt, you need to think about both the waist and hips. Jeans, leggings and pants use those measurements plus you need to know how long your legs are. If you’re buying a floor length dress or skirt, you’ll also need to know the distance from your waist to the floor or from your shoulders to the floor. So take the time to find those measurements and make a note of them. 

If you are short, you should probably shop in the petite department. Conversely, if you are heavy or just large, then the women’s or plus size section is where you need to be shopping. Rest assured that no matter what your size is you will be able to find clothes that fit. It’s just a matter of knowing your measurements. 

Measuring Tricks

No tape measure? Use string and a ruler or yardstick. It helps to have a friend measure you, but you can do it yourself. Make sure you keep the tape measure straight and level when measuring bust, waist and hips. For hips, find the widest point. Of course, you need to do this with your foundation garments on. I actually have several sets of hip padding which give me various hip sizes. So I measure each iteration. Same for bust size. I know many of us experiment with different bra cup sizes.

Other Useful Measurements

I already talked about knowing shoulder to floor and waist to floor measurements when you are buying long skirts or dresses. But do you know what size ring you wear? On each finger? You will if you take the time to measure your fingers on both hands. There are conversion charts on the Internet that will help you translate the circumference of your finger to the applicable ring size. I’d just caution you that if your knuckles are the largest part of your finger, you should measure around the knuckle to get a ring size. Once you have that, write it down so you can refer to it when you shop. 

Here are some more helpful dimensions to know. Measure your wrist so that you can find bracelets that will fit. Typically guys have larger wrists than women and that will be a problem when buying those pretty bracelets. 

Similarly, what size is your neck? You’ll need to know that if you are going to buy a necklace. Especially a choker style because you don’t want to actually choke! Once you know that you’ll also want to be conscious of just how long the necklace is and where it drapes on your body. It’s good to have options that compliment whatever top you are wearing. Perhaps you’ve got a nice pendant that needs to fall at a certain spot on a V-neck – how far is that? Does it need to be higher on your chest? Or almost down to your cleavage? Make a note of those measurements for when you are shopping for necklaces. 

One more little thing: how about your ankle? If you want to wear an ankle bracelet, you will want to know the circumference of your ankle. So add that measurement to your notes.

Yes, that’s a lot of Stuff today. I hope it helps you make correct shopping decisions. Thanks for reading. 

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Elagia

Juliet, a Femulate.org reader