Stuff: More Support

By J.J. Atwell

In my previous Stuff post, I wrote about finding support. That was directed at the CD/TG/TS among us. This time I’d like to take a different view – that of the significant other (SO).

First, I should clarify that I’m assuming most of us CDs are in a committed relationship – be it married, engaged or seriously involved with a partner. In general, I don’t think it matters what sex that partner is, they still need a support system. For the sake of convenience, I’ll refer to the SO with female pronouns here. 

Support for SOs

Those of us who have an SO in our life should be thinking about her need for support. I’m assuming that the SO knows about our CDing. It seems obvious to me that if the SO doesn’t know then the support question doesn’t come up. At least not for the CDing aspect of the relationship. 

For those where the SO knows but prefers a “don’t ask, don’t tell” (DADT) relationship, there is still a need for SO support. I would guess that these are the relationships that the SO could benefit most from finding some support. You may not talk about it, but the SO knows and in the back of her head, there is some uncertainty going on.

In relationships where the SO knows and is accepting, even she can benefit from some type of support. There are certainly professional therapists who she can visit with or without you. 

On a less formal basis, maybe she just wants to talk with other SOs in similar circumstances. This is where the CD belonging to a support group can be a real benefit to both parties. She can go to meetings with you and strike up friendships with the other SOs. It helps for them to know they aren’t the only ones in that situation and can see how others cope. I can say from personal experience that this has been a tremendous help for me and my SO.

I’ll be back

Yes, there will be more Stuff. In the meantime comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!

Wearing Boston Proper

Jerry Lewis femulating in the 1966 film Three on a Couch.

Mom Catches Son Femulating!

Wearing Madeleine

Mom catches son femulating!

(Another fab video from Yoya Fabulosa)

Sitting to Pee?

When I am presenting as a woman, I always use the restroom that matches my presentation. Usually, the ladies’ room, rarely the family room and never the men’s room. 

I admit that the first few times I used the ladies room, I was a little nervous about it, but I made sure to sit to pee and I never had a problem.

Unlike the men’s room where conversations between strangers is verboten, women do not have a problem engaging a stranger in conversation in the ladies’ room. 

I don’t want to push my luck, so I have never started a conversation in the ladies’ room, but I lost count how many times complete strangers have started conversations with me. Typically, the conversation starts with a compliment about something I am wearing and does not go beyond a thank-you on my part. But a few times, I have encountered chatterboxes who want to talk about everything under the Sun and I have successfully held up my end of those conversations without a problem. No one has ever run out of the restroom screaming, “There’s a man in the ladies’s room!”

I think it helps that my presentation is good enough that worst case, a stranger would be very hesitant to call me on it. And although I don’t affect a female voice, my vocabulary and mannerisms are feminine, so that complete the picture.

As I wrote above, I always use the restroom that matches my presentation, but in these times, I wonder if that is safe. 

My ham radio group holds a conference in the fall in different locations in the USA and Canada. This year, Knoxville, Tennessee was selected as the site of the conference. I had nothing to do with the selection and it is probably the last place I would have selected because Tennessee is rated as the worst state in the USA regarding trans and LGBTQ rights. Under Tennessee law, I could be arrested for using the ladies’ restroom to sit to pee!

Typically, our conferences are in hotels, so if I had to go, I could always run to my room and pee there and avoid any illegal encounters in a public ladies’ room. But this year, the conference is in a convention center, two blocks away from my hotel room. At my age, I would never make it to my hotel room in time without having an accident! So I was undecided about going.

My mind was made up for me because last week, my group cancelled the conference for logistical reasons. It’s a long story that I won’t get into here, but the decision to cancel had nothing to do with trans and LGBTQ rights.

That was a close call. It could have been a real life MAGA experience, but now I wonder if I will run into similar MAGA experiences attending other conferences in other states. For example, Hamvention in Ohio, which is not exactly a bastion of trans and LGBTQ rights. Maybe my perfect record in the ladies’ room is such that I have nothing to worry about, but with laws on the books specifically aimed at me, do I want to take a chance?

Wearing Kate Spade

Louis Mandylor femulating on television’s Down the Shore.

The Rest of Trump’s Hidden Agenda

Trump's Hidden Trans Agenda

During his speech at the Republic convention Thursday night, candidate Trump said, “We will not have men playing in women's sports, that will end immediately.” 

That is just the tip of the iceberg of Trump’s transgender agenda or more accurately, anti-transgender agenda.

According to Planet Trans...

The most dangerous internal threat to our constitutional federal republic is Project 2025, backed by the Heritage Foundation. These right-wing extremists understand that they need to intensify the dissatisfaction of their followers and to be successful as they have been in the past, focus that anger on transgender people. Brynn Tannehill is sounding the alarm at The New Republic

"At the 2023 Conservative Political Action Conference, Michael Knowles took the main stage and called for the “eradication of transgenderism from public life” to a standing ovation. Not long after, Project 2025 (led by the Heritage Foundation) published the “Mandate for Leadership,” a 900-plus-page blueprint for the next Republican administration. 

"The first legislative item in the executive summary declares that “transgender ideology” is a form of pornography, and that all pornography should be outlawed. It then goes on to call all trans people “child predators and misogynistic exploiters of women.” It further demands that anyone who is a “purveyor of transgender ideology” be put on sex offender lists and imprisoned."

It is no secret that Project 2025 is an integral part of Trump’s agenda. Just more reason not to vote for that twice-impeached, 34-time convicted felon.

Wearing Aje

John Lithgow femulating in an episode of television’s 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Then what does it mean?

Wearing Paige

John Lithgow femulating in the 1992 film Raising Cain.

Aye Eye

The Faces of Edward

Sistas

Waiting for His Train

The Reluctant Shopper

Stuff: Support

By J.J. Atwell

Who Needs Support?

Everybody needs support. And no, it’s not just your boobs that need support. It’s what is happening inside your head that I’m covering today. 

It doesn’t matter what the issue is, support is something that helps us live a full life. Of course, since you’re reading this post on Femulate.org, you might be especially interested in support for you and other crossdressers. 

So where do we get that needed support?

On Line Support

There are lots of ways we can find support on line thanks to the expansion of the internet over the past 20+ years. Right here on this site you will read some very interesting stories about the topic. In fact, the mere act of reading Stana’s webpage is support itself.

If you also look at the right side of the page, Stana has several interesting sites for you to check out. Just spend some time reading these sites to get more comfortable about your crossdressing inclination. 

There are also several larger, specialist sites that offer a support network for us. These include www.crossdressers.com, www.crossdresserheaven.com and www.tgforum.com. If you haven’t explored those sites, you will find some very interesting stories there. They are from people like us and relate real world experiences. There is no shortage of advice dispensed on line, both here on Femulate and on the other referenced sites.

Real Life Support

Notice the “real life” part of this section. Yes, it involves meeting others in real life. It might be in a secure private meeting place, in the home of a crossdressing group or out in more public areas. I know that’s a huge step for many of us. It means we can’t hide our femme self behind a keyboard. The first time you do it will be scary. And exhilarating. 

The scary part lessens as you do it more frequently. I’m not sure it ever goes away. Fortunately, the exhilarating part doesn’t seem to go away either. 

I’ve been the beneficiary of this real life support and has really made a difference in my crossdressing world. It has helped me improve my femme presentation and my wife and I have made friends with other crossdresser/significant-other couples. 

It was through the internet resources mentioned above that I found out about a local crossdressing group that met monthly. Going to those meetings gets JJ out once a month. Some months we also get together with our new friends, typically in standard man/wife mode doing things that couples do together. 

I’ll Be Back

There is a part 2 to this story and you’ll see it soon. In the mean time I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. Until then, I’d welcome comments here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg

Mark-Paul Gosselaar femulating on television’s Saved By The Bell.

In the Pink

 

Wearing Hemant & Nandita

Danny Thomas femulating in a 1958 episode of television’s The Danny Thomas Show.

High Praise

Last week, I was speechless after viewing an episode of A Gender Fluid Life, a video blog (vlog) hosted by Clive/Anja. The episode that silenced me is entitled “Femulate – Inspiration and Celebration” and it talks about all that is good about Femulate.org.

I crank out this blog every day and I enjoy doing so. Occasionally I receive compliments for my work, but most of the time, I only hear is crickets. Clive’s/Anja’s vlog post made up for all of those days full of crickets and I can’t thank them enough for the kind words. (By the way, that’s Clive and Anja in the Before and After slot below.)

Click here to view “Femulate – Inspiration and Celebration” on YouTube.

Wearing ModCloth

Clive and Anja, the hosts of A Gender Fluid Life vlog.

Dinnerwear

 

Wearing Maje

Reginald VelJohnson femulating on a 1991 episode of television's Family Matters.

Dress Like A Girl

Wearing Ann Taylor

Jaleel White femulating on an episode of television’s Family Matters.