Comfort Zone

What is your comfort zone?

• Crossdressing at home in secret

 

• Crossdressing at home in private (someone in your home knows what you are doing, but you do not socialize with them when you crossdress)

• Crossdressing at home and socializing with some or all of the residents of your home

• Going out among the civilians crossdressed as a Halloween “costume”

• Crossdressing at a support group meeting location

• Crossdressing at home and driving crossdressed to a support group meeting

• Going out among the civilians crossdressed under the auspices of a support group or organization for a short period of time (visiting a restaurant, wig store, beauty salon, etc.)

• Going out among the civilians crossdressed under the auspices of a support group or organization for an extended period of time (long weekend conventions, week-long Fantasia Fair, etc.)

• Going out solo among civilians to do outreach

• Going out solo among civilians to “safe” locations (gay bars, Pride events, etc.)

• Going out solo among civilians anywhere and everywhere

Except for crossdressing at a support group meeting location (I always crossdressed at home and drove to meetings), that list represents my progress as I stepped outside my comfort zone. I imagine many of you have followed a similar stepping out path. 

I also imagine that some of you are comfortably crossdressing somewhere on that path and have no plans to step outside that comfort zone. You may have legitimate reasons for staying put (family, work, etc.), but if fear is the only reason you stay put, then let me quote Franklin D. Roosevelt, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

I was stuck for a very long time because I had fears about going out crossdressed among the civilians – the same fears that many of you have. Time is what finally motivated me to step out of my comfort zone. I knew that life is short and I had already wasted a lot of my life living in fear. Did I want to die without trying to. face and overcome my fears? 

No, I did not. So I stepped outside my comfort zone and discovered that FDR was right. And I kicked myself for letting fear hold me back for so long. Regretting those lost 20- and 30-something years when I was a hot, but closeted chick (LOL)! At least I got out in time as an old lady! 

So I urge you to reconsider facing your fears and more fully enjoying your life as the woman you are.

Wearing Elly Bazar

Anything

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Robert Janowski femulated Raffaella Carra on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar).
You can view this femulation on YouTube by clicking here.

Femulate Her

Sally asked in a comment, “Stana, I have a question about your ‘Femulate Her’ section. How many of the girls in this section have actually been boys femulating? Any of them?”

My reply was “As far as I know, none of the girls in the Femulate Her section were femulating boys.”

I added, “The purpose of the Femulate Her section is to provide examples of cisgender women that boys can try to emulate/femulate.”

I am repeating this exchange here because not everybody reads the Comments especially since they may appear days or weeks after the original post. Also because if Sally asked, then there may be other readers who wondered the same thing.

Femulate Her is intended to serve as an inspiration for emulators like you and me. We will probably never come close to matching the images posted in the Femulate Her section, but we can try.

Wearing Ramy Brook

Dwight Ewell femulating in the 2002 film The Guru.

Modern Males’ Weekend at the Mall

Wearing Boston Proper

Patrick Walshe McBride femulating in an episode of British television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway:Private Investigators.

Fathers and Daughters

In my previous post, I discussed crossdressing fathers’ relationship with their sons. I do not have a son, so my thoughts on the matter were speculative. However, I do have a daughter, so I can write about daughters with some authority.

My daughter is my biggest supporter. She has happily accompanied me out among the civilians on a number of occasions. 

The daughter of another girl I know was just as willing as my daughter to accompany her Dad wherever he wanted to go and when her Dad transitioned, nothing changed between her and her father.

I think that, in general, it’s a “daddy’s little girl” thing, that is, girls are closer to their fathers than their mothers. The bond can be so strong that a father’s crossdressing is not a deal breaker. 

That was certainly the situation with my daughter. We were as thick as thieves when she was growing up and when I revealed my penchant to dress en femme, it was not a bump in the road. Her only concern was that her friends not know, but in her twenties, it no longer mattered and she was comfortable when I was dressed in the presence of her boyfriends. And so it goes.

Thinking back to my Monday post, “Our Female Fans,” it may be a little of that, too, where females are OK with crossdressing males as long as it’s not their husband who is crossdressing. A daughter is invested differently with her father than a wife with her husband. A daughter did not choose a crossdressing father, whereas a wife did choose or chooses to stay with a husband who crossdresses, so it does not reflect badly on the daughter – she had no choice. 

I believe that a father’s relationship with his children regarding his crossdressing is likely to be better with a daughter than a son, but I know of a girl with two daughters. One is OK with her father’s crossdressing, while the other is not; so much so that she broke off all relationships with her father. So it’s a crapshoot.

Wearing Venus

Peter Alexander femulating in the 1961 Austrian film Die Abenteuer des Grafen Bobby.

Fathers and Sons

When we were pregnant, I hoped our child would be female because I thought that since I was a feminine male, I would be a poor role model if our child was male.

As it turned out, our child was female, which was a big relief. (She also turned out to be my biggest supporter.)

If our child was male, I am sure that having a feminine father would have some effect on his life. How much of an effect, I’ll never know.

Would having a father who had feminine mannerisms cause the boy to have feminine mannerisms?

Are (my) feminine mannerisms natural or nurtured?

My father was not feminine, but he was not around much during my early years. However, my mother was very present during those years and if I was going to take after anyone, it seems that I would take after the parent who was present, not absent.

My theoretical son would have a double whammy – both his parents were feminine, so if nurturing was the source of femininity, then my son would potentially be even more feminine than I am.

Feminine mannerisms are one thing, but what would be the effect of having a father who was feminine and who also presented as a woman at the drop of a chapeau?

Goddess only knows.

And if my son turned out to be feminine – like father, like son – would it be the end of the world?

You girls out there who have sons are better able to answer these questions than I. So please have at it by leaving Comments to this post.

Wearing Boston Proper

Dave Foley

Happy Valentine's Day!

Source: Mad Magazine #197 March 1978

Wearing Ann Taylor

Paco León femulating in Mexican television’s La Casa de las Flores.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Wearing Price

Keith Moon

Our Female Fans

I don’t know many women who are ok with their men dressing like women. The first time I encountered such a woman was at an IFGE convention I attended years ago in Philly. 

At the opening of the convention, I noticed a couple impeccably dressed in matching skirt suits. He was tall and she was petite and I wondered where they found matching outfits and throughout the convention, they appeared in new matching outfits each day and each evening.

I was a little jealous. But I got over it. Since then, I have encountered other similar couples, that is, women who are comfortable (to one degree or another) with their femulating partner.

And it’s getting better all the time. In general, the younger generations are more accepting. It is not a big deal breaker as it is in older generations (like mine).

Although it is still uncommon to find a woman who is ok with a femulating partner, it is easy to find women who are ok with other men dressing like women (as long as the femulating men are not “their” men).

I run into this all the time. When I encounter a female stranger and she discovers that I am en femme, in the majority of cases, she is fine with it. Often, she is very interested and even enthusiastic about it. Seldom do I get a negative reaction.

Those who are positive about my femulation say something to the effect that what I am doing is “wonderful.” Yes, I have actually heard the word “wonderful” more than once from such enthusiasts.

And I don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and ask, “What do you mean by that?” Instead, I just go with the flow.

I can understand why a woman would not want her man to femulate, but I don’t understand why women are ok and even enthusiastic about other men being en femme. 

And so it goes.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Àngel Llàcer femulating on Spanish television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar (Tu Cara Me Suena).

Who's Who?

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Harry Myers femulating in the 1926 film 45 Minutes from Hollywood.