Can't Be Beat

Wearing Tory Burch

The Kinky Boots Angels on stage in Phoenix, 2014

Affirmation

How do I look?

Everyday I receive an email summarizing the postings on the crossdressing subreddit, which seems to be populated mostly by young ladies rather than old ladies (like me). They are just starting out on the remarkable road of crossdressing, but they hardly look like novice men in dresses – they already look like the young ladies they are striving to be. (“Youth is wasted...”)

Despite their drop-dead gorgeous appearance, a typical email post will ask the other members of the subreddit, “How do I look?” 

Unsure about their presentation, they are reaching out for affirmation that they are on the right path to achieve their feminine goals to be able to safely step out of the closet and experience the world en femme.. Positive emails build their confidence and out the door they go. 

Back in the day, most of my sisters could not dress to the nines and ask for feedback about our presentations before stepping out. (“Hey, Pop. How do I look in these new high heels?”) 

No, we had to gird our loins, open the door, step out into the real world and hope for the best. If people did not stare, laugh or point at you, that might be the best affirmation you could expect. Not the greatest confidence-builder, but it was something.

On the other hand, if you were called “Ma'am,” or even better “Miss,” that was our equivalent of receiving positive responses on reddit.

And so it goes.

Wearing DailyLook

Michael Scott

A Night at the Opera

 

Wearing Boston Proper

Helénia Melán and Jorge Chacón

On His Way to Elegance

Wearing Joie

Brendan Jordan

Achieve a Passing Level

By Tami Knight

Here are suggestions to help take your presentation to the passing level. If you are intent on enjoying passing well, these matter. I learned them all long ago and have improved my look greatly over time. 

Skin

See a cosmetic dermatologist for facial skin improvement, Retin-A, Botox, fillers, collagen building and facial hair removal. Women are all over these products and you should be as well. Little adjustments can make a big difference and there are so many ways to improve.  

Consider a female doctor who specializes in cosmetic work. Your doctor has certainly seen males before seeking a softer, youthful feminine appearance. So be candid. You can build a good relationship and see real progress by sticking with this.  

Over many years I have developed a close friendship with mine. She really enjoys improving and maintaining my look. We share many interests and often meet for a glass of wine and or dinner. Better skin, smaller pores, fewer wrinkles, less brown spots and softer facial contours mean less makeup. Less makeup is a game changer!

Get on the regular email updates from Dr. Brandith Irwin’s Skin Tour. I have learned so much from Dr. Brandith Irwin. With continual advancements in the cosmetic dermatological world, you have to keep up in order to know what products to ask for, where to go and what products or procedures to avoid.  

Don't be afraid to shop around for the best doctor for you. Yes, some, but not all procedures are expensive. So is beauty!

Eyes

Lash extensions are amazing and you can wear a little or a lot. You won’t need eye liner or mascara anymore and your eyes will pop! Learn about the lengths of lashes available and degree of curl so you get the look you want. You can do a little and wear them full time or go nuts with a full set for that vacation. There is a glue softener for easy removal when you wish.  

I find these addicting and so do most of my friends who have them. The process is so easy, gentle and relaxing! Again, shop around for the best technician who can give you a look you will love. Start slow adding lashes just a bit longer than your own and build them up over time. 

Another alternative to achieving great eyes that I like is eyelash tinting, which is easy and quick. Combine this with an eyelash lift for a nice curl to your natural lashes that lasts a couple months. Again, you can lose the mascara!

Eyebrows

Mine grow like weeds. To trim, I first brush down, hold them and snip away. Then I brush them upwards and trim again. Pull those strays.  

A natural brow line is what women go for today so don’t think you have to pluck them pencil thin. Just maintain them and reduce their length, shaping slightly as is appropriate for your face shape.  

Again, there are good wax technicians out there who will help you achieve a feminine or androgynous shape that will take you anywhere. Make certain that your brows match your hair color as well and your salon can color them in minutes.

Shape

Lose weight. Nothing can be more meaningful than getting thinner. Can you shoot for size 6, 8 or 10? If so, you are doing well. (I wear size 6-8 or woman’s medium.) 

There is the Golden Ratio (1:1.6) that suits our universal aesthetic sense. Google this ratio and take note! Your shoulders need to be very close to the same width as your hips and your waist in ratio with your hips. One can look passable in larger sizes with the right ratios.  

Getting slim and trim makes taking something off the rack and seeing it fit such a joy. So, start and do yoga. You need to move effortlessly and improve your posture. I often get compliments on mine. A straight back with our shoulders back walking and sitting is the ideal. Never slouch! I have gone to yoga class as Tami for years. The room is small, lighting is low and we do slow movement and hold poses. Simply wonderful once you get in the habit.

By putting all this together, over time, you may even hear a “Yes, Ma'am” when you least expect it.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Julie Slowinski

Shopping for Hardware in Softwear

Christina Marie remarked, “So much easier to shop for things when in girl mode, huh?”

Yes, indeed!

You have your shapewear strategically in place, so you know how the item will fit when you try it on and you are in makeup and wearing a do, so you know how the item will look on madam.

Yes, shopping in girl mode is so much easier… even if you are not shopping for girly things!

Which reminds me of the time I visited a Lowe’s home improvement store in girl mode to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed. I had no trepidation about going to Lowe’s and I found my trip very revealing.

Whenever I go to Lowe’s or Home Depot in boy mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. In girl mode, I had a male Lowe’s employee practically at my beck and call without asking. 

When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.

That's the power of a short skirt and high heels!

Wearing Paige

Richard O’Brien

Perfectly

Wearing ModCloth

Julie Nighthawk

More Stuff: Accessories

By J.J. Atwell

More Stuff

Let’s talk about accessories in today’s Stuff. In an earlier installment, I mentioned a friend Gigi who I often correspond with about various things.  Today’s installment of Stuff is one suggested by her about items she referred to as “statement accessories.”

Accessories?

First I should explain just what “accessories” are for the purpose of this column. I’m using that term to mean pretty much everything besides the actual clothes/shoes that we wear when crossdressing. Things like a bag, necklaces, earrings, bangles and maybe something in your hair. Selecting the right accessories is something that helps complete your look. Of course, you need to start with the basic outfit, so go ahead and pick that out. I’ll wait.  

OK, Got the Outfit - Now What?  

So now that you have your outfit, how do you accessorize? Of course, this depends on what you have available and where you will be going.

I tend to go for casual, blend-in looks when being JJ. Take a moment to look at my avatar at the top of this page. Notice the lariat-style necklace and how it does several things. It compliments the rest of the outfit, which is a grey cardigan over a white shell and I’m wearing black skinny jeans with it. The necklace is made of a metallic black and silver twisted together. It hangs smoothly from around my neck and dangles down to draw attention away from my face (one of my worst features) and adds to the illusion of a long neck. 

Once I decided on the outfit and the necklace, it was time to finish off the outfit. I didn’t want my other accessories to work against the impact of the necklace. That would result in several different items competing for attention. So instead of big, dangly earrings, I went with a small set of pearls. Instead of big, clunky bangles, I went with a simple bracelet. My watchband might have been a bit too much as it looked like a black hair scrunchie, but I had limited options, so I had to make do. 

At this point I’m sure a lot of you are saying, “I would have done…” Yes, your sense of style is probably different from mine. I tend to be very conservative in my femme look. One of these days though, I’ll go a bit more flamboyant in my look. I intend to talk more about accessories in a future post so stay tuned! And send me your thoughts about accessories please.

I’ll be back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Boston Proper

Recently deceased Tom Smothers femulating in a 1965 episode of television’s You're Only Old Once.
Thanks to Trish for this femulation alert.

Better Late Than Never

I have been running late for about a year now. Health issues (mine and my spouse’s) really put a crimp in my life in 2023. Even the holidays did not go as planned as my wife ended up in the ER again followed by a short stay in the hospital. So today’s post is about a week late.

I just want to thank everyone for their support this past year. Your positive comments and emails often made my day in 2023.

Also, I want to thank the readers who wrote posts for the blog. These sure came in handy this past summer when I was running to the hospital everyday to spend time with my spouse. The blog would have been empty otherwise.

I finally want to thank the readers who contributed to my Coffee Break. I really appreciate the monetary contributions from those readers who valued this blog enough to put their money where their mouth was, so to speak. Your contributions helped to keep the lights on.

So good riddance, 2023, and welcome, 2024!

And so it goes.

Wearing Boston Proper

Finding Your Fabulous

Navigating the Art of Makeup at MAC

By Paula Gaikowski

For many people exploring the world of crossdressing or transgender expression, navigating the art of makeup can feel like a daunting task. Fear not! One of the best resources for beginners is a visit to a MAC cosmetics store. 

While I admit to a personal bias here, my experiences across the country, from Massachusetts to California, have been consistently positive. The staff at MAC is known for their genuine support and understanding of the transgender and crossdressing communities.

To delve deeper into this welcoming environment, I recently embarked on a research mission for the Femulate community, specifically focusing on makeup consultations and makeovers at MAC stores. I contacted locations in Boston, Chicago and Los Angeles, and here is what I discovered to help make your own makeover exploration a breeze!

Service Options for Every Need

MAC caters to a variety of desires, with service options to suit individual preferences.

• Makeup Lesson: Learn the basics or refine your technique with a one-on-one session. Prices range from $75 to $100, depending on the location and duration.
• Makeover: Let the professionals work their magic! They'll create a personalized look using MAC products tailored to your preferences and features. Prices range from $75 to $100.
• Night Out: Glam it up for a special occasion with a dazzling makeover that will have you sparkling! Price: $100.

A Welcoming Atmosphere

As a transgender individual, my biggest concern was feeling comfortable and accepted. I'm happy to report that every makeup artist I spoke with was incredibly welcoming and reassuring. They expressed excitement about working with me and emphasized their desire to make me feel confident and beautiful as a transgender woman.

Private Rooms and Personalized Service

MAC stores typically have a dedicated private room tucked away in the back, offering a comfortable and discreet space for you to relax and chat with your makeup artist during consultations and makeovers. This privacy allows you to feel at ease while discussing your preferences and trying out different looks.

Tips for Planning Your MAC Makeover

• Book your appointment in advance especially if you’re interested in a specific service or makeup artist.
• Come prepared with photos or ideas. Share your desired look with the artist to ensure you’re on the same page.
• Be open to suggestions. The pros know their stuff! Trust their expertise and let them guide you towards a look you’ll love.
• Relax and have fun! This is a chance to explore and experiment with your makeup. Enjoy the experience and embrace the transformation.

Invest in Yourself

The price tag might raise an eyebrow at first, but consider it an investment in yourself, not just an expense. Think of all the money you've wasted on makeup that wasn’t the right shade, formula or simply never got used. 

The MAC artists will create a personalized list of products they used on you. You can buy them all at once or spread it out over time. The quality and longevity of MAC products make them worth the initial investment. Treat yourself to a new item every couple of weeks and slowly build your own go-to kit for stunning looks every time you step out the door.

Remember, exploring your makeup journey is about having fun and expressing yourself. With welcoming staff, personalized service options and high-quality products, MAC can be a valuable resource for anyone navigating the art of makeup, especially those in the crossdressing and transgender communities. 

Go forth, experiment and embrace your femininity!

Wearing Rue La La

Tony Curtis femulating in the 1959 film Some Like It Hot.