Stuff 20: What to Wear?

By J.J. Atwell

Hello All

JJ is back with more stuff!

This being Stuff #20 I thought it might be time to say again that I’m simply writing about things from my perspective. I don’t claim to be an expert in the subjects and I’m sure people will find things they agree or disagree with. I only hope reading my Stuff gives you something to think about. I’d be happy to read all of your thoughts. My contact info is at the end.

Dressing for the Occasion

We crossdressers often face the same dilemma that genetic girls face: what to wear. To some extent, our decision is easier since most of us have a smaller selection of clothes in our closet than most women. And maybe having more stuff just makes the decision harder because there are more choices.  

It’s probably obvious to all of us that deciding what to wear depends on where we are going. If we are staying home, our clothing choice isn’t that difficult. Whatever is clean and comfortable will do. Perhaps, just a pair of leggings, a loose top and sandals or slippers would be perfect for a stay-at-home day.  

Things get a bit more complicated when going out. Especially for crossdressers who want to dress to “blend in” with the general female population.  Just like a genetic girl, a crossdresser should think about where they will be. Is it a place where women typically get more dressed up? Or is it just a trip to the supermarket?  

Going to a special occasion? Maybe a holiday party? I’m currently thinking about what to wear to my group’s holiday girls’ night out in a couple of weeks. I know from past meets that the members will be dressed in a range of outfits from simple holiday tops to fancy dresses.  My closet is a bit lacking in both choices, so I’m doing a bit of online shopping right now.  The meeting is at a local restaurant that I have been to before and know it’s not really a dressy kind of place. So I narrowed my search down to nice holiday tops that I can wear over skinny jeans. I’ll accessorize with some holiday jewelry borrowed from my wife. Stuff like that should work for this venue.

I’ll be back

Hope you have fun thinking about what to wear. Until then, I’d welcome comments here on the blog or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. 

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Poodle skirted!

An Alternative

Wearing Balmain

Patty informed me about a video that documents the photoshoot for the cover of the wedding issue of Pittsburgh’s City Paper. Kevin Nelson, a “drag artist,” is both the bride (above) and the groom for the photoshoot. Click here to view the video on YouTube.

The Frugal Femulator

For those of us who are not full-time femulators, maintaining two wardrobes is expensive. But there are ways to cut corners and still femulate elegantly.

When JJ wrote about breast forms last week, it reminded me of my homemade breast forms. Following the recipe of a famous female impersonator (don’t ask me who; it was a long time ago and I don’t remember).

The recipe called for birdseed in a sock. I actually used dried green peas instead of birdseed, as follows:



1. Use birdseed/dried green peas to fill a thin sock (not a thick heavy sock) to the cup size you desire.



2. Tie off the sock as close as possible to the ball of birdseed/dried green peas.



3. Trim off any access sock and fold the remainder over the knot. Under a bra, the knots emulate nipples.

The birdseed breast form was so inexpensive that I made two pairs: a small pair when I just wanted perky breasts and a larger pair when I wanted my-eyes-are-up-here cleavage.

 I made my breast forms over 40 years ago and they are still good to go today. 

By the way, I am naturally well-endowed for a boy… a B- or C-cup depending on the bra. I made the breast forms to use when I wanted more than my natural cleavage.

While we are in the shapewear realm, I’ve never done it, but there are girls like us who fashion foam to make hip and derriere pads to enhance their figures. There are many how-to-do hip/derriere pads on the Internet, so search the net and find a tutorial that suits you.

Borrowing clothes from your wife, mother, sister or daughter is free, but usually frowned upon, so sashay yourself to a goodwill store or a consignment shop. At such establishments, I have had great success buying designer bags and dresses at a substantial savings over their original price.

Just like your boutique or department store, I never get any pushback when I want to try on something at these businesses, But advise you to play dumb and ask where the dressing room is located. When the salesperson directs you to the ladies’ dressing room, you are home free!

Shoes! I used to buy almost all my shoes at Payless. They had some nice styles in big girl sizes at very reasonable prices. Sadly, Payless closed all their brick and mortar stores, so I have been buying most of my shoes at Nine West. Their styles are nice too and they also have big girl sizes (size 12 maximum), but their prices are on the high side, so I wait for their sales and deals when I “need” a new pair of heels.

Sales and deals should be at the top of the list of all femulators. For example, last week during a Black Friday sale, I bought two new dresses that listed for $148 total, but only cost me $57 and included free shipping to boot!

And there are online coupons that can save you money. The coupons can be for free shipping or for a certain percentage off your purchase price. Finding coupons that work is hit out miss, so I signed up for Honey, which performs an automatic hands-off search for coupons when you are paying for your online purchases.

Purchasing makeup at a department store or at a makeup purveyor like Sephora or Ulta is  expensive. Often you can do just as well buying makeup at a drug store, Target, Walmart, etc. Experiment with different brands and you will likely find something inexpensive that works. Some products are better than others, but the savings can be considerable. And last time I checked, many makeup mavens still swear by Maybelline mascara in the pink tube, which you can buy anywhere for a sawbuck.

I always recommend purchasing expensive wigs because inexpensive look like wigs, whereas expensive wigs look more realistic. This is not malarkey – I’ve lost count of the times I received compliments about my latest hairdo only to surprise my admirer when I revealed I was wearing a wig. I guess you may find used wigs where you find used clothing, but I am a little finicky and would never wear a used wig just like I would never wear used shoes or used shapewear. 

Finally, an absolutely free option is to grow your hair out and style it in a feminine manner. 

And so it goes!

Wearing Bebe

Still Another Modern Couple

Fussy Fellows

Wearing Joie

Amy and Jim, femulating at any age

The Chicken or the Egg

Wearing Boston Proper

Tad Hilgenbrink femulating in the 2006 film The Curiosity of Chance.
Click here to view the film on YouTube.

Alert: Black Friday Sale

There is a Black Friday “Extra 50% off sale” at Venus where I just purchased two dresses. An $89 dress and a $59 dress for $57 total plus free shipping!

Update: It looks like the “Extra 50% off sale” is continuing throughout the weekend. 

Talk Shows: A Femulator’s Lifeline

By Paula Gaikowski

The 1980s was a transformative era for me. During this time, television talk shows became essential sources of information, comfort and offered a sense of belonging. Long before the Internet’s wealth of resources, these shows were my lifeline, connecting me to the world of gender identity.

In the pre-Internet world, my TV Guide was my window to a world that I longed to understand. Each week, I eagerly flipped through its pages noting any talk show listings promising to have crossdressers, transgender women or female impersonators. These shows weren’t just entertainment, they were beacons of hope, providing me with the understanding and validation I yearned for.

Some of favorite 1980s talk shows were Phil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, Geraldo Rivera, Sally Jessy Raphael and Jenny Jones.

Phil Donahue’s and Oprah Winfrey’s show held a special place in my heart because they frequently featured representatives from organizations that embraced crossdressing. During that period of my life, this felt incredibly relatable.

In contrast, Geraldo Rivera used shock tactics, while Sally Jesse Raphael was known for its transformation makeovers. I can vividly recall the episodes where they selected someone from the audience and make them over as a woman.

Jenny Jones also had its sensational moments, often inviting female impersonators and entertainers, who faced less-than-kind comments from the audience.

As for Jerry Springer, I never really found it appealing. It seemed a bit too coarse and vulgar.

For me, these 1980s talk shows went beyond providing information; they offered recognition and validation. In the quiet of my own space, I’d dress up as if I was a guest on the show in my favorite dress, pantyhose, makeup and heels, I’d settle in and watch the shows creating a brief, but cherished moment of self-acceptance.

As I watched, I felt recognition, even if only for a short while. The discussions and the presence of transgender women, crossdressers and female impersonators on-screen resonated deeply with my experiences. Being acknowledged and validated, even by a television screen, was a powerful and affirming experience that bridged the gap between isolation and community.

The 1980s talk shows, despite their faults, played a fundamental role in giving me information and connection during my struggle with gender identity. They made me feel connected, informed, recognized and validated, even if only temporarily. These shows sparked conversations, broke down stigmas and paved the way for a more accepting and understanding world for individuals in the transgender community. 

It was because of these talk shows that persons outside our community became aware of us. The image that evolved from some of these shows was not always positive, but they opened the closet door and we at last had a voice and were being heard.

Wearing a Bixie

Adolf Dymsza femulating in the 1937 Polish film Niedorajda.
Click here to view the film on YouTube.

Happy Thanksgiving

Wearing Zimmermann

Jeremy Stockwell femulating in the 1970 film Dinah East.

Stuffing

By J.J. Atwell

Thanksgiving Stuffing

Welcome to a special Thanksgiving Stuff-ing column. We have many things to be thankful for. When thinking about Thanksgiving, my thoughts quickly turn to food. And one of my favorite parts of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner is the stuffing. Some people go for bread stuffing. Others for rice dressing. Whatever you use to stuff your bird, I hope you enjoy it this year. 

Stuff-ing? 

But why is this column about Stuff-ing, you ask? It’s because I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about what we crossdressers use to stuff our bras and panties to create a more feminine profile. 

Way back in episode nine, I talked a bit about boob sizes. In subsequent columns, I also talked about shape and how they hang. Today, I thought I’d cover stuff-ing your bra so that the boobs look and feel “real.” 

I suspect that the first time a new crossdresser tries on a bra, they use something convenient to pad the cups. Something like rolled up socks. Yes, they work, but they have drawbacks. They can be lumpy and they really don’t feel real to the touch. They also don’t move like natural breasts. 

Let’s move on then. How about some cotton batten? That certainly eliminates the problem with lumps. But they still don’t feel or move like a natural breast. Same with another substitute: foam rubber. Not quite the right consistently.

Another option that some use is water balloons. Yes, water balloons. They have the advantage of being actually quite close to the consistency of a natural breast which, like much of the human body, is mostly water. Water balloons have the approximate right weight and movement. They do have a drawback of course – the danger of springing a leak!

So what is the JJ’s preferred method? She uses silicone breast forms. They have the right weight and movement. They also warm to body temperature over time. They can be very convincing. 

Some crossdressers use a silicone breast plate to get the appearance of cleavage. While I’ve never tried one, I understand they have a couple of drawbacks. They don’t breathe, so the wearer has to deal with sweat. Also they need to be the right skin shade to blend in at the edges – edges that need to be camouflaged to maintain the illusion. 

Hip-ing?

We crossdressers also often need to pad out our hips and bum to achieve a realistic female profile. What Stuff-ing to use for that? 

Just like breasts, there are several options. Clearly socks or water balloons won’t work because they don’t have the right shape. However, some have had good success with oval foam pads on the side and back inserted into their underwear. There are also padded panties that can be bought from many outlets, which are typically padded with foam rubber. 

The most realistic hip and bum padding seems to be made of silicone and shaped to enhance the hips and wrap around to back to enhance the bum. They feel natural and warm up to body temperature. However, they are surprisingly heavy and require a firm undergarment to hold them in place. Ahhh, the travails of a crossdresser. 

I’ll be back

I hope you enjoyed thinking about Stuffing. I’ll be back next week, but until then I’d welcome comments here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Ramy Brook

Kandi of Kandi’s Land fame, submitted this photo of the ladies attending the 2023 installment of the annual Lake Erie Gala (left to right, there is Melissa, Marissa, Debbie, Alisha, Gina, LynneLee, Sherry and Kandi) 

Suits Him/Her Fine

Wearing Taylor

Buying a bra on Amazon is just not the same!

A now defunct Macy’s ladies’ dressing room, circa 2013

Shopping in the mall en femme are some of my fondest femulating memories. I enjoyed going to the mall en homme, too. 

Friday nights, my friends would meet at the mall and hang out until closing hoping to pick up girls (seldom happened), while Kenny waited for his girlfriend Penny to get off from her job at Sears. That was in my late teens.

Fast forward a half decade found me in the mall trying to get up the courage to enter Frederick’s of Hollywood. After circling the mall a few times, I finally went in and purchased my first bra and wig.

Fast forward another half decade found me getting fitted for a bra in Victoria’s Secret en femme, as well as shopping en femme in Macy’s, JCPenney, Ann Taylor, etc. using the ladies’ dressing rooms to try on my finds without any complaints.

[Just to be safe, whenever I wanted to use the ladies’ dressing room, I always played dumb and asked a store employee where the dressing rooms were located. They always directed me to the ladies’ dressing room, so I was home free in case a civilian complained (that never happened).]

Have you been to a mall lately? 

All the malls I shopped en femme regularly are dying or dead. If you want to get depressed, go to YouTube, search on “dead malls” and see if your fave mall shows up. If it does, watch the video and take a tour – it is very sad.

I miss my old malls. Buying a bra on Amazon is just not the same!

The Barbie look

Peter Sellers femulating in a deleted scene from the 1962 film Lolita.