My Bra-tober Challenge

By Paula Gaikowski

As a Femulator, I have always celebrated the special occasions when I could embrace my feminine side. It was a chance to be myself for a few hours, reveling in the experience. However, I often wondered what it would be like to wear a bra every day, as a part of my daily routine rather than just on special occasions. 

This October, I embarked on my Bra-tober Challenge to find out. The aim was to experience, on a daily basis, what it’s like to wear a bra, something that had always been a special occasion occurrence for me. The experiment was not only a chance to explore this aspect of femininity, but also to gain insights into its role in shaping my identity.

In the midst of my Bra-tober Challenge, I continued to navigate my daily life. My wife, who typically had reservations about my feminine expression, initially doubted my commitment. She believed that I wouldn’t enjoy wearing a bra every day. However, as I discreetly went about my daily routine, her skepticism waned and she became less enthused. There were days when she knew about my experiment, but for the most part, it went unspoken.

One day, in the kitchen, she noticed that I was wearing my favorite Vanity Fair bra. She playfully took hold of the backstrap and gave it a good snap. We both shared a good laugh about that, a moment of light-heartedness amidst the challenge.

Typically, I wore my male clothing most of the time. However, there were occasions when I incorporated some elements of my feminine expression into my daily wardrobe. While working in my home office, I would opt for leggings and a knit top or occasionally don ladies’ jeans and a knit top. These choices allowed me to balance my authentic self with the expectations of my daily life.

I am an avid hiker and here in the picturesque landscapes of Maine, I make it a point to hit the trails at least once a week. It’s a pursuit that brings immense joy and serenity. The trails are often graced by the presence of fellow hikers, many of them women, who don traditional hiking outfits. This ensemble typically consists of comfortable leggings, sturdy hiking boots and a cozy sweater or perhaps, the iconic L.L. Bean vest or jacket. It’s a timeless combination, ideal for braving the ever-changing weather of Maine.

What I’ve found intriguing is the ease with which I’ve embraced this attire, not only during my Bra-tober Challenge but also on numerous occasions beyond it. These hiking trails offer a haven of acceptance, where no one raises an eyebrow or gives a second glance to my choice of clothing.

Living and working as a man and putting on a bra every day was a profound change. It became an integral part of my morning routine as I selected the type of bra to coordinate with my outfit. Fastening hooks, adjusting straps and pulling on the bra, once reserved for special occasions, now became a part of who I was on a daily basis. The various styles of bras I wore throughout the month presented unique challenges and feelings.

The Rago firm control longline bra stood out as a favorite in this challenge. This specialized undergarment provided not only support, but also a sense of firm control, sculpting and enhancing my silhouette. Wearing it in the morning gave me a sense of empowerment and confidence and taking it off in the evening was a moment of relaxation and unwinding. I was filled with joy all the while wearing this bra, relishing the confidence it brought me.

Sports bras were a category that made me very aware of their presence. They offered robust support of my breasts while working and doing physical activities, which I greatly appreciated. However, they were also hot, uncomfortable and would chaff and poke me during physical labor. Despite the discomfort, the thought of taking them off seemed somehow disloyal. They remained among my favorites.

T-shirt bras were easy to put on, but not necessarily my favorites. Despite being comfortable, they never seemed to fit right, often requiring constant readjustments. While they offered ease of wear, the fit left something to be desired. I wasn’t as that happy with these bras, as they often caused inconvenience due to their fit.

Underwire bras offered a different experience. The underwires provided enhanced support and shape, maintaining a well-defined silhouette. These bras often felt the most feminine and cute and I couldn’t resist pairing them with pretty lingerie. The poking underwire became less bothersome when paired with matching undergarments. 

Throughout the month, I was consistently aware of having a bra on. It tugged at me during different times of the day, serving as a reminder that this was a unique garment typically reserved for women. This heightened awareness brought joy and fulfillment. 

There was one memorable instance that epitomized this awareness: I was in a supermarket, dressed in jeans, a sweatshirt, sneakers and of course, my bra. A glance around the store revealed that all the women present were dressed similarly. It was a moment of revelation. I realized how deeply connected I felt with them, as if I had been granted membership into a shared experience of femininity.

Wearing different types of bras brought a range of sensations. Some days, the bra would pinch or poke, leading to discomfort. On other days, those same sensations brought a sense of comfort, as if they were a ticket to a shared experience. It served as a reminder that embracing femininity comes with its own set of challenges and occasional discomfort as part of the journey. I felt privileged to experience the joy of feeling both the comfort and discomfort that comes with wearing a bra.

After a month of wearing a bra every day, it became an integral part of my daily routine. There were mornings when I eagerly put it on, finding empowerment and confidence in the process. There were also evenings when I found relief in taking it off, a moment of unwinding and relaxation. This Bra-tober Challenge had not only been an exploration of femininity, but also a very small part of understanding of what women go through daily.

Wearing Bebe

Unknown Femulator

What’s Next?

I watch television, but when a commercial comes on, I tune out.

Now that the holiday season is upon us, there is a commercial using a new version of the Darlene Love tune It’s A Marshmallow World that I enjoyed hearing. 

After hearing the commercial a dozen times more or less, I decided to actually watch the commercial to see what they were advertising. Turned out it was a Sephora commercial, in which various people gift a Sephora bag containing Sephora products.

When a young woman gifts a young man, I had to rewind the commercial because I wasn’t sure what I was seeing. She gave him lipstick! And after withdrawing the lipstick from the bag, he applies it to his lips! I could not help noticing that the young man was wearing silvery eyeshadow, mascara and blush.

Click here to see the commercial on YouTube.

Wow! What’s next?

Wearing Ann Taylor

The femulating “Senoritas’ ballet” performing in Nova Scotia, Canada, April 1931.

Stuff 17

By J.J. Atwell

Hello again

In today’s Stuff, I’d like to talk about social graces. Especially when presenting as a woman. Yes, the world is different for women and they practice different social graces when they deal with real life.

Social Graces?

Here I’m talking about how you relate to others when you are en femme. As a guy, you’ve adopted certain mannerisms. The way you carry yourself. The way you walk. The way you interact with others.    

Greeting one another

Here’s an example: imagine you are out in public as a guy and you are introduced to another guy. What do you do? You step up, look him in the eye and extend a hand for a firm handshake. 

You’ll likely also comment about something like a favorite sports team or vehicle – something “manly.” If you (again as a guy) are introduced to a woman the routine is similar, but the handshake will be a bit softer and the conversation would probably be about something like the weather or the locale.  

Now let's think about what typically happens when two women meet. Assuming they already know each other, there will likely be a gentle hug and a compliment on some aspect of her presentation. Similarly, if they haven’t met before the hug might be replaced with a nod or a gentle handshake. And there will most likely still be a compliment. Compliments about the clothing, hair, jewelry... stuff like that.  

When we crossdressers are out en femme it’s time to put aside our guy social graces and adopt those more typical of women. When you meet a sister, you might consider complimenting her about the color of her dress or the way her hair looks. Perhaps the earrings she is wearing. It’s one of those little niceties.  

Hugging

Hugs are good. Have you ever notice that when hugging women are very careful not to send the wrong signal. They will typically bend forward slightly at the waist so that their breasts don’t contact the one they are hugging. And it’s a brief hug. That’s another type of social grace we need to consider when presenting as a woman. 

I’ll be back

I hope you will think about your social graces when going out. Do some research by observing how people interact in various social circumstances. In the meantime, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.  

JJ is always looking for more stuff!

Wearing Boston Proper

Andrew Semuel

Someday Funnies

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

A 1949 womanless fashion show featuring femulators from Quebec, Canada. 

Catch 22

 

Wearing Bebe

Akihiro Miwa, femulating Japanese singer, actor, director, composer and author

Friday (What an original title!)

Buyer Beware Dept.

On August 4, I ordered two dresses from New York & Company. 

On August 10, the dresses were delivered. I tried on both dresses and they were too big. 

On August 11, I sent the dresses back via USPS (United States Postal System) for a refund.

On August 15, I received an email stating “YOUR RETURN IS BEING PROCESSED! Please allow 1 to 3 business days for your refund to be credited to your original payment method.”

It is nearly three months later and I have not received a refund. 

I have exchanged emails with New York & Company’s customer service. They say they have not received my return. I say, why did they email me that my return is being processed if they did not receive my return?

I am at a loss of what to do next, but I do know that I will never order anything from New York & Company again and I will never again show their wares in the Femulate Her slot.

Halloween Encounter with a Colleague

By Paula Gaikowski

Last week, while working online with my colleague, a cheerful woman in her 60’s, our conversation took a delightful turn toward Halloween. Little did I know that this discussion would lead to an unforgettable connection and a dash of personal revelation.

As we chatted, my colleague shared stories of her past Halloweens, particularly huge Halloween parties featuring crossdressing contests and drag shows that she attended. In response, I chuckled and mentioned my plans for Halloween were dressing up as a woman. She couldn’t hide her excitement and urged me, “Please get some pictures!”

With a mix of apprehension and a desire to connect, I confessed that I had already taken some snapshots during a costume try-on session the previous weekend. I didn’t mention that I am typically trying on costumes every weekend of the year.

In a brave move, I shared my screen, revealing my three en femme costume choices. One featured me in black pants and a matching top, another in a flowing skirt and sweater with funky boots and the third in a sleek pencil skirt, a black sweater, modest heels and an air of confidence.

Her reaction was the epitome of positivity and support. She not only complimented the outfits, but also candidly told me which one she preferred. It was heartwarming to witness such acceptance and our ensuing conversation was filled with laughter and camaraderie.

After this impromptu and encouraging chat, I couldn’t help but wonder how my revelation might affect our professional relationship. The following Monday as we met online again, her very first question was, “How was your weekend? How did the party go?”

I beamed and told her it went splendidly, though I had opted for a different outfit – a teal skirt suit that had long been a favorite. 

She couldn’t contain her curiosity and asked to see a picture. I obliged and shared details about my days presenting as a woman. I shared a few anecdotes about going out and about as a woman, how I found it exciting and fun to cross boundaries and see life from a different perspective.

 

In sharing these tales, I subtly dropped hints about my identity, though I hadn’t explicitly mentioned being transgender. However, the descriptive narrative I told was thinly veiled by the cover of Halloween. She was probably expecting a caricature of a woman, the man in a dress prank. My accomplished femulation probably extinguished any doubts about this being my first time to the rodeo.

The conversation was filled with positivity and praise.

“I think it’s great that you did this.”

  

The feeling of validation was nothing short of exhilarating. It was as though I had found a new friend who appreciated and celebrated this part of me that I’ve kept hidden for decades.

Reflecting on this memorable encounter, I can’t help but smile. It’s incredible how a simple conversation about Halloween can lead to profound connections and understanding. 

While the Good Ship Lollipop might not be everyone’s preferred mode of transport, it’s a wonderful feeling to sail on it, embraced by acceptance and camaraderie. 

Who knew that discussing Halloween costumes could lead to such a heartwarming connection in the midst of the corporate world?

Wearing St. John

Thursday Funnies

Wearing alice + olivia top and Walter Baker skirt

Ricky Renée, professional femulator

Not Just for Halloween

Halloween has come and gone and I did not participate this year because my plans were hijacked by a last minute change in my wife’s therapy schedule. Also I was recovering from a 24-hour bug, so I was better off staying home instead of prancing around in a short skirt on a cold October day.

 

And so it goes.

Meanwhile, I read some of my old Halloween posts and decided to revisit the one I posted in August 2017, shortly after my retirement.

In that post, Gina V asked...

Don't your colleagues ask you… How come you seem to be very good at turning yourself into a woman and enquire as to if there might be a bit more to it than the occasional Halloween appearance?

My reply...

Believe it or not, no one, male or female, has ever asked. Some have made humorous comments and some have complimented me on my appearance. I can only recall one snarky comment: one fellow wondered how I just happened to have all the makings of my costume just for Halloween, inferring that I dressed on other occasions, too.

Turns out that shortly after that post, I discovered that most of my colleagues assumed I was trans-something or other. In fact, many thought that I would dress en femme at work the last few weeks before I retired or at least, dress en femme for my going-away party.

Crossdressing for my last day of work and my going-away party crossed my mind, but I did not because I thought my trans-ness was safely locked away in my closet despite my Halloween appearances. That was very naive of me.

When I attended the company Christmas party en femme in December, I apologized to my closest friends because I felt guilty about my Halloween costume sham. They all said no apology was necessary because they assumed that my “costume” represented the real me; no harm was done.

Yes, no one ever asked me about my femulating skills – they didn’t have to.

Wearing Venus

Another beautiful femulator, Melanie Valentine

Happy Halloween!

Wearing Boston Proper

Dave Foley en femme in the Halloween episode of television’s News Radio.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff 16

By J.J. Atwell

Hello All

JJ is back with more stuff! 

I wonder how many of us partake in some beauty regimes. As I think about it, I would guess that the answer is most of us. What is your favorite?

Facials

JJ frequents a salon that offers various services including massages, waxing and facials. I usually schedule a massage once a month. But on days that JJ is planning on going out, she likes to get a facial that morning. I find it helps me get a close shave before applying my makeup.

A couple of points about getting a facial. First, it really is pleasurable! You’ll experience lots of different sensations as the technician applies and removes various lotions and serums to your face. All you have to do is just lay back and let it happen. 

When going for a facial you’re told not to shave for about 12 hours before your facial. I usually give it a full day. I also schedule it for the morning even if I’m not going out until night.

After the facial, I let my face rest for a few hours. When starting my transformation, I start with a hot shower. I shave with a brand new razor blade, not just once but twice. The second time making sure to go against the grain. This gives a very close shave. That’s very important for me as my beard is relatively heavy. Fortunately, much of it is turning grey, so the five o’clock shadow is less of a problem that I need to cover up. But even so, I need a smooth surface to apply primer and foundation.

So consider getting a facial. Perhaps before your next girls night out!

I’ll be back

I’ll cover more of the makeup process, including getting a makeover, in a future column. Until then, I’d welcome comments here on the blog or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Dress Barn

Milton Berle (right) femulating on a 1959 episode of television’s
The Lucy Desi Comedy Hour.