Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Heather Wells, before and after

My Saturday Shorts

Cane Enable Dept.

I love wearing high heels, but my total knee replacement surgery in January put the kibosh on wearing heels for awhile. 

Last month, I began wearing heels again, but I was not completely comfortable doing so because I felt a little unsteady at times and worried about falling.

When I had the surgery, I used a cane for a day or two, but quickly abandoned it because I did not need it to get around. I still have the cane and wondered if it would help me walking in heels. So I got the cane out of the closet, put on my highest heels and was pleasantly surprised that I could walk in heels just like in the good old days. 

I know. If you need a cane to get around, why would you wear high heels? But I don't care. I love wearing high heels and whatever works...

After-and-Before Dept.

I love the before-and-after photos you all have been sending in for me to post here. Please keep them coming. 

However, I am amused by how many of those photos are after-and-before photos rather than before-and-after photos, that is, the en femme image is on the left and the en homme image is on the right. It’s as if a bunch of female-to-male crossdressers were sending me their before-and-after photos! LOL

Being an obsessive-compulsive sort, I have been taking the after-and-before photos and fixing them in Photoshop before I post them.

How’s She Doing Dept.

The Missus is doing much better. Thanks for asking. But she has a way to go and will probably be in rehab for another week or two.

Wearing Venus

Jorge Chacón

Eight Years A Woman: Part One

By Ciara Cremin

Thank you for reading my first piece and the lovely feedback I received. It’s spurred and encouraged me to write another. Whether this becomes a regular thing, I don’t know. For one thing, I’m trying to finish my third book in a transgender trilogy that started with Man-Made Woman¹ in 2017.

The first book under my feminine name is scattered with anecdotes of lifelong desires to dress as a woman and the pleasures, which I’m quite explicit about, in wearing women’s clothes. Amongst dense theoretical exposition that’ll likely put off the casual reader, it charts, in a non-chronological order, reflections on living as a woman. Through a chronology of photos taken at the hairdresser at each of my visits since coming out in July 2015, I reflect in this brief series of essays how my style has changed over time, the challenges of presenting as a woman and the maturation of my thoughts and feelings between then and now. 

Before charting that chronology, however, I want to start with a few preliminary remarks, proclamations and for some, provocations.

I never considered writing on this topic or developing a public profile as a trans woman before coming out. Nor frankly, did I consider myself a woman or have any intention of dressing permanently in women’s clothes. Like I said in the previous piece, I considered myself a transvestite, a word that in the US is largely abandoned. 

Associated with a sexual proclivity, it is understandable to see why. Yet, we are sexual beings and derive pleasure in many things: the pleasure of wearing women’s clothes being one of the more banal, harmless and ordinary amongst them – a pleasure even of many ciswomen. You only need go into a makeup store to see that. 

With Man-Made Woman, I wanted to challenge the taboo of men wearing women’s clothes for pleasure and do my bit to normalize that pleasure. Being something of a transgender warrior who identifies many of the ills that blight the individual and society with masculinization and regarding this as symptomatic of a fear and revulsion towards anything held as feminine, if men I wagered, could overcome their fears and repudiations by openly embracing femininity, the world would be a better, kinder place. The absence of any signifier whatsoever associated with femininity on a vast majority of male bodies is the surest indication that men have problems with femininity and so too do women. 

For all the critiques of patriarchy, for many women the idea of a feminine man or that the socially designated male can be a woman, is not only a complete turnoff, it is anathema. If men are pressured to “man-up,” it is not only men putting on that pressure. 

So I do have an agenda for writing this. My lyrical descriptions of the pleasures of dressing daily as a woman are to provoke and encourage. Rather than the well-documented negative effects of being a woman under patriarchy and trans in a society invested in cultural binaries, it is the joys and healing effects of femininity that I like to stress and document. I want to encourage rather than discourage those who can (although excuses can always be found if you need them) to cross the line by fully embracing the feminine. In doing so, rejecting the labels “crossdresser” and of course, “transvestite,” labels I would now find insulting if used to describe me. 

If you think about it, for even those who are not living as women, the self-description “crossdresser” is a problematic one. Not only does it reinforce the idea that clothing possesses a gender, but that a label is needed for what ought to be of no significance to others: a misplaced, guilty pleasure that must be excused and rationalized despite the fact there is little that is rational about human behavior, proclivities and attitudes. 

We seek justifications to justify ourselves to others. Ask yourself who in fact you are justifying yourself to, why those justifications are demanded and on whose terms. The language in which our justifications are formed and articulated is a foreign one impossible ever to have command of – with so much is lost in translation – that the language itself ought to be questioned. 

It disavows and quietens a disturbing thought that we may in fact be women or at least be a happier, better person if we did identify and live as women. It constructs, in other words, a barrier in the psyche that men, whatever fantasies they harbor, draw comfort and security from. 

People fear change; they like predictability, a predictability draining of life and vitality. You see that in a regressive politics that harks to a past that exists only in the imagination and would be horrendous if realized. Identities are preserved, the advantages afforded to men in a patriarchal society maintained and, because they never experience what it is to live as a woman, the damage done to them and to others in their barely registered masculine performances are never ameliorated. 

There’s change afoot and we need to get with it and align lives, politics and attitudes with those of the rising generation. Not only on blogs or at special conventions, but in everyday life. We need to take our bodies resplendent in women’s clothes, our thoughts and proclivities to the very places many of us dare not go. At the supermarket, the regular bar, the shopping mall and, yes, the workplace. To start a conversation with colleagues, friends and loved ones. Even to agitate for change by joining those fighting for their rights to identify and live as women, most of all to be recognized and respected as women. And if like Stana and I you’re fortunate enough to have a platform and audience, to make these declarations to the broadest of all possible audiences. 

I write this now sitting in my favorite café. It’s winter here in New Zealand, which is reflected in what I’m wearing: a thick, woolen, A-line patterned skirt that comes down to below the knees, but with a split in the middle rising to above the knee through which, as I look down, reveals my black, silky petticoat. My legs are sheathed in fine nylon hosiery. The color of my pantyhose is cinnamon, which, slightly darker than my skin tone, are clearly visible. They’re shiny too, which, when caught in the light, produces a wonderful visual effect. My legs feel so smooth and slippery when crossed and with the silky black panties I’m wearing, my pantyhose help keep me firmly tucked in. 

I’m wearing brown, patent leather shoes with a two-inch heel. They provide a feminine shape to my posture and profile. They beautifully complement my sensuous pantyhose and bring out the browns in my patterned skirt (at another café, before a lecture, the same shoes and pantyhose that I have on in the photo taken a year ago). Beneath my zip up black jumper, I’m wearing a tight-fitting plain black silky top. Beneath that I have silky shapewear on. It keeps me warm and flattens my figure. Further adding to my feminine appearance, I’m wearing a Wonderbra which, because it is padded, doesn’t require those ugly fillers. 

I have full makeup on. A full-coverage foundation, powder, bronzer, rose-coloured blusher and highlighter. I’m wearing a creamy Lancome lipstick – my favorite brand – in a rusty bronze-reddish color that picks out colors in my skirt. My eyeshadow is in three shades of brown. I’m wearing eyeliner, top and bottom, and mascara. My perfume is Chanel N°5. I’m wearing hooped earrings, a woman’s gold watch and a simple golden band around my finger. My nails are professionally done, acrylic and red. They cannot be taken off, nor do they fall off. 

I walked to the café wearing my stylish and expensive – quality is worth the price if you can afford it – pink and black speckled women’s winter coat, which strangers have even complemented me on. Hands kept warm by a pair of soft leather women’s gloves. My purse, makeup bag – containing my lipstick, compact and mascara, which I’ll reapply before leaving the café – and laptop are carried in my pretty maroon handbag. 

More soon…

Note: ¹ Hyperlink to Amazon.com

Wearing Ann Taylor

Paula Gawkowski, przed i po (before and after)

Someday Funnies

Wearing Lilla P

Yul Brynner femulating in the 1969 British film The Magic Christian.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

A New Skirt, a Bodkin and a Question

By Penny from Edinburgh

I was really happy when my new red floral midi tiered skirt arrived in the post from Bonmarché. I had seen it in a shop window after closing time, had tried a couple of other branches of the chain for it and had ended up ordering it online.

A couple of weeks after it arrived I went out for the day with my friend Michelle. I wore the skirt with a white long sleeved top, black tights, black Mary Janes and a black tote bag.

It was only when we got home and Michelle took some pictures in the garden that the flaw was revealed. It looked great from the front, but at the back the elasticized waist was just too loose.

So I decided, I would attempt to repair it. After trying without success to find suitable elastic in a couple of supermarkets, the next time I was out en femme I went to a haberdashers (a shop which sells thread, fabric and sewing materials).

I showed the shop assistant the skirt and explained what I needed. After she had found me the elastic, she handed me a little pack with what appeared to be two large needles in it. “If you are threading elastic, you will need a bodkin,” she said.

When I got home, I examined the pack with the two bodkins in it. One was really a giant needle for threading lace; the other one was forked with a ring which could be pulled down forcing the two prongs together to hold the end of a piece of elastic.

With the bodkin, the elastic and a pair of scissors, it only took me a few minutes to thread the elastic through the waistband of the skirt, cut it and tie the ends together. The difficult bit of the repair was getting the materials!

I tried the skirt on and it sat perfectly. 

It was only later it occurred to me that none of the femulation blogs I had read ever talked about sewing, dress making, flower arranging or any other traditional feminine arts. Perhaps, my fellow femulators are overly modest about their skills.

Which leads to the question, do you, Dear Reader, practice some traditional feminine skill, other than walking in heels, which you are not telling us about.

Wearing Bebe

Gaurav Gera
I welcome all Femulate readers to submit Before and After photos for publication here.
Just send your photos to stana-stana at-sign sbcglobal.net

Someday Funnies

Wearing Alexis

Rupert Everett before en homme and after en femme in the film St. Trinian’s

Stuff 6

By J.J. Atwell

Yet Again

There seems to be no end to stuff. This is the sixth installment and I’m grateful to Stana and especially those that follow her blog, for the positive feedback that I’ve received for my contributions here.  

Taking Pictures

How many of us take pictures of ourselves when presenting as female? I’d guess just about all of us do that. Just like it is hard to pass by a mirror without looking when dressed, I think we all want pictures so we can remember the occasion.  

Pictures also help us in improving our feminine presentation. We can study the pictures and see things that are a bit “off” and then work on ways to compensate. I like to keep my pictures in a special folder that I can use to look back on. Having this collection also helps me decide about what outfit to wear for different outings.  

Along that same line, I also have laid out my clothes and taken a picture of all the tops, skirts, pants/jeans, dresses and shoes. Essentially a picture inventory of my stuff. That way I can think about various outfits and how they might look together without actually having to go to the closet and pull them out.  

I’m sure that most of us take selfies. It’s always difficult to do. You can just do a regular selfie holding the phone out and pointing the camera at you. Or you might try to take a picture in a convenient mirror that way. I usually have to try several times to get it right. But the best thing I’ve found is to get a mini-tripod (AKA Gorilla Pod) and a remote Bluetooth shutter release. I can set my phone up on something convenient and pose for the picture. Once I’m ready, a click on the remote is all it takes.  

A word about backgrounds. Well, actually several words. One is you want to be the focus of the picture. Having a plain background is the easiest way to do that. If you can’t then try to put some distance between you and the background. Another consideration is to avoid having things in the background that would identify you if you’re still in the closet. Perhaps avoid having your picture taken next to your car or things like that.  

Where do I keep these pictures? I keep them in a separate hidden folder on my computer. It’s my own personal computer and it would be very unusual for anybody else to access it. Even if they did, they wouldn’t be able to access the hidden folder. Be sure you take precautions if you are concerned about pictures of your girl self being found. That could lead to a lot of other stuff. 

I’ll be back

As before, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff!

Wearing New York & Company

Before and After: Rhonda of Rhonda’s Escape fame, circa 1983

Stana’s Way

You may have noticed I replaced the old Femulate logo with a new Stana’s Way logo. 

Why?

When I started this blog in February 2007, I considered myself to be a “plain vanilla crossdresser,” so I created the word “femulate” to reflect my persona (a male emulating a female) and name my blog. 

A lot of water has gone under the bridge since 2007 and I jettisoned the “plain vanilla crossdresser” descriptor long ago. Rather than being a male emulating a female, I realized that I was a female emulating a male. And doing a bad job of it – not because I wasn’t trying to “man up,” but because manning-up was so foreign to me.

I could have changed the name of the blog long ago, but I hesitated because the word “femulate” that I invented had become part of our language and I was proud of that fact. However, after exchanging emails with Ciara, I decided that the name change was a long time coming and “Stana’s Way” better reflected me than “Femulate.” 

I am certainly not a male according to society’s standards. I am also not a cisgender female. However, I am a woman with a male body and I am not going to let that little handicap prevent me from being the best woman I can be. That’s my way.

Also, I am not abandoning “femulate;” the blog URL remains www.femulate.org and posts about femulating will keep on coming full speed ahead.

And so it goes. 

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Crystal James

Reaching Out

That’s me in the photo above seated in front of a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University where I did outreach a few years ago.

I loved doing outreach.

Outreach was like the proverbial Forrest Gump box of chocolates. Going in, you had no idea what to expect, but you could be sure it would be interesting.

What is “outreach”?

Before I go on, let me briefly explain what outreach entailed for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about.

The goal of the outreach I was involved with was to educate civilians about being trans. We accomplished this by presenting a brief trans-oriented biography and then fielding questions from the civilians. Easy-peasy! Nothing to it! And it usually worked – at least the comments (written and oral) from the civilians indicated that they got it, that is, we usually were able to leave them with the knowledge that we are not freaks. Rather, we are just like they are – human beings just trying to get along in the world.

Our biographies established our credentials. It was the questions and answers that opened the eyes/minds of the civilians. 

Here are some of the more memorable questions I have answered doing outreach.

Q: Are you married?

A: Yes.

Q: ...to a woman?

A: Yes.

Q: Do you crossdress when you have sex with your wife?

A: Never

Q: Why do you have your nails done only to go out once or twice a month?

A: I wear pre-glued, stick-on nails that take about five minutes to apply.

Q: How did you pick your female name? (This is probably the most asked question.)

A: It is a female version of my male name. (This is probably the most common answer to that question.)

Q: What do you do when someone stares at you or reacts negatively to you?

A: I try to disarm them with a smile and if they are close enough, I will say “Hello.”

Q: What do you do when you are at a bar and a guy hits on you?

A: I say I am not interested and point to my wedding ring.

Q: Which bathroom do you use?

A: I always use the ladies' room.

Q: Did you have a hard time learning to walk in heels?

A: No, I took to heels like a duck takes to water.
.
Q: Don't you worry that your voice gives you away when you are out in public?

A: Usually my voice is not an issue. (By the way, my voice is not deep and I am soft-spoken even in male mode.)

(I turned the question around and asked the class, “If you did not know I was a male, do you think my voice would give me away?” Three or four students answered and they said, “No.”)

Q: How do you hide your genitalia

A: I wear a panty girdle to keep my genitalia in check. At one time, I tried a gaff, but discovered that it was very uncomfortable and that my male parts would escape and required regaffing. The panty does a much better job keeping those parts in place and is much more comfortable.

Q: Do you do hormones or have you had surgery?

A: No. (That answer often surprises the students.)

Q: The way you move your hands and gesture is very feminine. Are you doing that intentionally?

A: It is not intentional. (I noticed that I gestured while answering the question and suddenly became aware that my hand gestures were indeed feminine, which gave me pause.)

Q: What would you do if you could do it over again?

A: I would live 24/7 as a woman without hormones and surgery, but I would have electrolysis.

Q: Do you ever feel that you are really a female?

A: Yes.

Q: Do you ever think about living full-time as a woman?

A: I think about it every day.

I don't go fishing for compliments when  I do outreach, but some come my way nonetheless.

A female student loved my hairdo and thought that my wig was my real hair. A pretty student said my makeup looked “fabulous.” Another commented that I should teach the females in the class how to apply makeup.

One female student thought I looked good enough to do female impersonation.

Another female student commented how good I looked for my age. Immediately, another female jumped in and said how well I was put together. After that comment, nearly all the females started talking at once, commenting about how nice I looked. I blushed with embarrassment and thanked them for their compliments.

One student commented that my outfit was “cute.” That made my day until another student stopped by to say, “You are so pretty!” She was very pretty herself and I was stunned by her compliment.

My most memorable outreach experience occurred about ten years ago. After the class, a female student approached me. She said that when I entered the class, she thought I was a woman, not a trans woman, but a born woman.

Thank you, I thought to myself, but then she added that besides thinking I was a born woman, I was also the most beautiful older adult woman that she had ever seen in person!

I thanked her profusely as she examined my presentation up close. She thought I was about 45 years old and she was very surprised when I revealed that I was 60 a the time. Then she told me something very personal that I will not repeat here. I thought I detected her eyes beginning to well up. The encounter became so emotional for me that I cannot remember if I gave her hug or not. (If I didn't, I should have.) Those few minutes with her were priceless to me and I will remember her forever. Can you understand why I love doing outreach!

By the way, I am available to do outreach. Contact me via e-mail at stana-stana (at-sign) sbcglobal.net

Wearing Bebe

Six young “ladies”

Someday Funnies

Wearing Ann Klein

Alex Lutz and Bruno Sanches femulating on French television’s
La revue de presse de Catherine et Liliane.