Friends in Dresses

Writing this blog for over 16 years, I have gotten to know a lot of femulators – most by email, but a good number in person. Some I consider friends, others acquaintances, but all of them are sisters.

One of my friends revealed that she went to work en femme on St. Patrick’s Day. It was the first time for her and she did it to support our community, which is being attacked on all fronts.  She wrote, “...me being visible here as an out trans person is I think something I need to do.” Even though it was a “complete non issue for everyone” she worked with, it still took a lot of guts to do so and I was so proud of her for doing it.

My friend is not alone. I am aware of others who work and/or live full-time as women. And I am sure that there are a lot more who I am not aware of. 

I like to think that if I was still employed, I would be in skirts and heels in my office by now. Since I am retired, I can’t go to work en femme, but I still dress pretty whenever I can. And now that I am back on my feet, I let the local LGBTQ outreach coordinator know that I am available to do outreach again.

And so it goes.

Wearing Ted Baxter

Richard Simmons

Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Ralph Kinkel femulating on German television’s The Drag and Us. 

Got Hips

By Paula Gaikowski

Adding hip pads to my outfits was one of biggest steps in my journey and really improved my look and gave me confidence. It took awhile for me to get there and I had to experiment to find just the right combination of hip versus bum padding.  

What hip pads do for girls like us is to minimize our broad shoulders and produce an hourglass figure. It’s interesting to note that a search on Amazon for hip pads brings up dozens of garments that are used by cisgender women. I thought the market was exclusively for transgender women, however, this seems to be common issue that cisgender women deal with especially when wearing that special dress.

Back in the dark ages of the 90’s, I started to notice the curves on some femulators I saw in magazines, so I started to evaluate different DIY methods. Remember back then there wasn’t any Amazon or Glamour Boutiques, so I was on my own. I started by using the foam packing material that we used at work to ship circuit boards. I had moderate success, but they appeared bulky and a bit too high or a bit too low.

I finally found Classic Curves when the Internet came along and saved up, sent a money order and had the Veronica 2 shipped to my office. A big improvement, I liked the change and silhouette they produced. It was with these hip pads that I gained the confidence to go out in public. All went well until the great purge of 2004 and I had to start building my wardrobe over again. 

Today there is a huge selection of garments and pads out there. At the high end there are silicone pads that can be attached to your body with Holister medical adhesive. These pads run in the hundred$ and look great, but are heavy. 

Next there are padded shapers. These come with soft foam pads that go down the hip and curve around the bum for added shape.  

Finally there are just the foam pads themselves, I have several pair of these and like them because they are light, easy to slip into different foundations and look just right. Some of the padded shapers produce huge hips so I use the foam pads.

I put my foam pads under a pair of control top pantyhose or under my Rago high-waist girdle. There is just enough control to shape and keep things in place. 

I hope this helps in your journey. Happy Femulating.

Wearing Gracia

Billy Crystal femulating on television’s The Comedians (2015)>

Someday Funnies: A Momma’s “Boy”

Wearing Missoni

Gene Hackman femulating in the 1996 film The Birdcage.

Items of Interest

Still Tall After All These Years Dept.

5'11" Kate Grigorieva

If you have been following this blog for awhile, you might recall my Famous Females of Height page, which I created to illustrate that girls like us are not the only tall women out there (so don’t let your height prevent you from going out).

Reader Sissyslave sent me a link to a Herald Weekly article, “The Tallest Women in Show Business,” which is an illustrated list of tall female celebrities. The list included a lot of women who I was unaware of being tall. And I learned that six-foot tall actress Famke Janssen has incredibly large feet and has to get special custom-made shoes for her size 11’s. (We can sympathize.)

Not So Tall After All These Years Dept.

All my adult life, I was 6 feet 2 inches tall, or so I thought. During my recent health issues, a nurse measured my height and informed me that I was a more petite 5 feet 11.

“People typically lose almost one-half inch every 10 years after age 40,” explains Andrea Singer, chief medical officer of the National Osteoporosis Foundation. Since I am 72 years old, that would account for over 1.5 inches of the 3 inches of height that I lost.

The other 1.5 inches could be due to osteoporosis, but except for the height loss, I don’t have any other osteoporosis symptoms. Inaccurate measurements may be the cause. My mother marked my height on a door frame every birthday. I measured the marks on the frame and I topped out at 6 feet 2 at age 16. So go figure.

I will mention the height loss to my doctor, but the good news is that at 5 feet 11, I am a less imposing woman than the Amazonian I was at 6 feet 2.

Quote of the Week Dept.

“Guys, these are the most comfortable bras you will ever wear.” – Kim Kardashian for Skims

Dick Knows Best Dept.

Wearing Boston Proper

Brendan W. Jordan

Someday Funnies

Wearing BCBGMAXAZRIA

Christer Lindarw, yet another Swedish professional femulator

Someday Funnies: Any Port in a Store

Wearing New York & Company

1982 Closet Ball Queen competitors

Friendship is Aspirational

By Tami Knight

I am not religious, but do value Judeo-Christian culture, teachings and traditions. I also appreciate those that enjoy a sense of community and belonging by attending church. With this in mind, I began visiting a local Congregational church over the last year.

Some context: I pass extremely well (5'9", 28" waist, my hair is brown, medium-length bob). My voice is pretty good, too, but I might give out clues in a longer conversation with someone. I dress like any other female does wherever I am and carry myself with a sense of pride. At church, I always wear a conservative dress and low heels.

While I can't make every Sunday as I like to travel, I can usually make time once or sometimes twice a month. What I did not expect and so enjoy about these times is that there hasn’t been a Sunday that someone hasn’t stepped up with a smile and introduced themselves to me. Mostly it is the women who are more social. 

When I walk in, I am thanked for coming. After the service in the fellowship room for coffee, I am always chatting with one, two or three women at a time. Yesterday, I met someone who shared my interest in the Detroit Symphony and ballet at the Michigan Opera Theater. It turns out that we had seen many of the same performances and seeing Misty Copeland dance is in our bucket list.

So with all the talk of a war (or push back) on aspects of the “trans movement,” it needs to be said that it isn’t everywhere or from everyone for any reason. I have no doubt that my pastor and some of the women I have befriended have or might have figured me out. But how does one explain the friendly faces, smiles, laughter from so many women and husbands?

Friendship is aspirational. When we meet someone we like, it is because we find aspects of them we admire.

Wearing Venus

To Angela Booth, everyday is dress day!

Someday Funnies

Wearing Alice + Olivia

Sweden’s After Dark femulating showgirls

Colors: It’s all about skin tone

Reader Romney asked me to talk about colors. 

I am not an expert. Through experimentation, I have learned what colors look good and don’t look good on me.

Experimentation is expensive. Putting together outfits of varied colors just to discard those that don’t work can quickly empty your purse. There has to be a better way and it is called “color analysis.”

Myimperfectlife.com has an excellent article “how to find the shades that will make you look—and feel—your best.” The article provides a step-by-step guide for determining your best colors. Click here to read it.

By the way, turns out that I am “cool’ despite what some people say (LOL), so blue, emerald, purple, lavender and icy blue should populate my wardrobe. My bright colors are pink, ruby rosy reds—and for the neutrals, white, navy blues and cool grays.

Have a colorful day!

Wearing Bebe

Luis Montalbert femulating Kylie Minogue on Costa Rican television’s Tu cara me suena.