Someday Funnies: Bro-Borrowing

Wearing Bebe

Gabriel Sanches femulating on Brazilian television’s Pega Pega (The Big Catch).

Our Conundrum

By Paula Gaikowski

Conundrum: a problem or puzzle which is difficult or impossible to solve. 

Jan Morris

I cannot think of a better way to describe being transgender. And perhaps neither could the travel writer and historian Jan Morris, which is why she chose “conundrum” as the title to her autobiography chronicling her transition from James to Jan. 

What is most interesting about her transition is it occurred in 1972 when gender transition was still a rarity. While Renee Richards was making headlines, Jan Morris very quietly transitioned and continued writing and publishing highly acclaimed books. One of her best-known was the Pax Britannica Trilogy, a history of the British empire. I had heard about her transition back in 1972 and consumed anything I could find about her in newspapers and magazines. But I never got to read her autobiography.

Jump ahead to the 1990’s and I was working as a field engineer for Motorola in northern New Jersey. In between service calls, we needed to stay in our territory. Subsequently, I found local libraries a great place to do paperwork and read while waiting for the next service call. The Morris County library was a huge regional library that had many books on sexuality and topics like transgender, which was still very new. I would read anything I could find by transgender authors like Caroline Cossey, April Ashley, Paula Grossman, Lili Elbe, Coccinelle, Renee Richards, Christine Jorgensen and I finally came across Jan Morris’s book Conundrum.

I just want to add a bit of context here. I was reading and researching in a library (using the Internet was not an option then). When that happened, our world would open – we would be connected and able to share with each other as we do here in the Femulate community. However, in the 1990’s, we were isolated souls lost in the forest trying to find our way. 

It took me a few days to finish the book. I’d visit the library and grab the book and find my favorite chair off to the side and read for a while. Finally, as I neared the end of the book, I was feeling a bit melancholy and downhearted. As I turned the last page, in the back I noticed a folded piece of paper tucked away in the cover. A piece of lined notepad, ripped and heavily creased, I unfolded it with mild anticipation and there written in blue ink in a friendly cursive script were the words, Know, that you are not alone. 

My heart quickened, my mouth was opened in a gasp, I looked around fearful of what I’m not sure. Then I quickly came to the realization that I wasn’t the only one like this! Someone else cared. There were others like me right here, they came to this place and read the same books. Perhaps then, just maybe we could find our way out of the forest. Our conundrum.

Wearing Joie

Ross Adams femulating in British televisions Hollyoaks.

Someday Funnies: Cross Dress Code

Wearing Bebe

Paul Gilbert (center) femulating in the 1965 film Sylvia.

Eddie Izzard: She/Her

Eddie Izzard doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. In December, it was reported that the standup comic/actor/campaigner/ endurance runner had adopted the pronouns “she” and “her” and wanted to be “based in girl mode” from now on. Well, it hardly came out of the blue, she says today. Izzard had spent the past 35 years building up to it, and when she did finally make the announcement it happened by chance. 

A few months earlier, Izzard had been a guest on the Sky Arts series Portrait Artist Of the Year, and was asked, for the first time, which pronouns she preferred. She replied “she and her” and never gave it another thought. By the time the programme was broadcast, Izzard had forgotten about the conversation. And suddenly she was headline news.

The funny thing, Izzard says, is that she had first announced she was trans in 2017 in the Hollywood Reporter and nobody had taken a blind bit of notice. But this time it was different. Within hours of the show being broadcast everything had changed – her Wikipedia entry and IMDb history were revised, and every media organisation was running stories about how he had become a she. Actually, Izzard says, she had not intended to be so definitive about it. She had always talked about being in boy mode most of the time and girl mode part of the time, and she was still hoping to keep her options open. For her first half century, boy mode had dominated, and now it was time for girl mode to take centre stage, but on occasions she would still like the freedom to be a he. She soon discovered that wasn’t an option, though.

Take, for example, the new Netflix series she is currently working on in Manchester. In the adaptation of Harlan Coben’s thriller Stay Close, Izzard plays a small-town lawyer called Harry. “As I’m playing a male role, I suggested people should go back to calling me he and him for this, and what the world seems to have said to me is you can change your pronouns but you can’t use he and him as well. You’ve just got to be she and her from now on because we’ve only got so much time on our hands, thank you very much.” How does she feel about that? She beams. “Great. I’ve been promoted to she, and it’s a great honour.”

Click here to read the rest of this article from The Guardian by Simon Hattenstone.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Matt LeBlanc, David Birkin, James Cosmo and Eddie Izzard femulating in the 2002 film All the Queen's Men.

Stana on a Sunday

My Left Knee

Visited my surgeon on Monday and they removed the bandage. I was surprised that my leg looked better than I expected. They also gave me the green light to start driving again.

My Physical Therapist (PT) visited on Tuesday and said I am at a six-week level of recovery at only three weeks.

Walking outdoors two or three times each day with a one. Indoors, I only use a cane for going up and down stairs. I can do the stairs without a cane, but use it for security.

Last night was the first night since surgery that I was able to sleep through the night without taking Tylenol.

So we are making progress.

Raquel

I wanted to mention the passing of actress Raquel Welch. 

She had two connections with our community. In 1970, she played a transwoman in the film Myra Breckenridge. The film reviews were so bad (“the worst movie ever made”) that I never bothered seeing it, although I did read and enjoyed the book that was the basis of the film.

Raquel had a successful business selling wigs. I don’t have to tell you how important wigs are to our community (don’t leave home without it) and over the years, I purchased and wore a couple of Raquel Welch wigs. They were expensive, but you got what you paid for and they were quality products and more importantly, looked good on me, too.

God bless you, Raquel.

Someday Funnies: Her Future Wife

Wearing Bardot

The results are in: My most “faved” photo on flickr in 2022!

Who’s Next?

First they came for the transgenders, and I did not speak out—

     Because I was not transgender.

Then they came for the drag queens, and I did not speak out—

     Because I was not a drag queen.

Then they came for gay marriages, and I did not speak out—

     Because I was not in a gay marriage.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. 

The Republican/MAGA/Evangelical gang are hell-bent on cleansing the USA of all vestiges of LGBQT+. You do not have to look far to see they are passing laws and issuing rules and regulations against transgender kids, transgender adults and drag queens and they are counting on the Supreme Court to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, the decision that legalized gay marriage.

Who’s next?

Do you know that crossdressing was illegal in most jurisdictions of the USA in the past?

According to Wikipedia: 

...from 1840 forward, United States saw state and city laws forbidding people from appearing in public while dressed in clothes that do not associate with their assigned sex. The goal of this wave of policies was to create a tool that would enforce a normative gender narrative, targeting multiple gender identities across the gender spectrum. With the progression of time, styles, and societal trends, it became even more difficult to draw the line between what was cross-dressing or not. Only recently have these laws changed. As recently as 2011, it was still possible for a man to get arrested for “impersonating a woman” — a vestige of the 19th century laws. Even with this, legal issues surrounding cross-dressing perpetuated all throughout the mid 20th century. During this time period, police would often reference laws that did not exist or laws that have been repealed in order to target the LGBTQ+ community.

Although those laws have been repealed in many jurisdictions, they may still be on the books in other jurisdictions. In either case, in the current political/social climate, it would not be hard to reenact those laws or begin enforcing those laws that are still on the books. 

The bathroom laws that have been passed in some jurisdictions are just the tip of the bucket that is full of potential anti-crossdressing legislation that the Republican/MAGA/Evangelical gang have ready when they decide to go after us.

Be scared, very scared! And don't just sit on your hands while they go after our LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers. Speak up and vote that gang out of office.

Wearing Nanette Lepore

A ladies’ room selfie

Someday Funnies: Cross Dressing Appropriately

Wearing Ulla Johnson

Alex Newell on the blue carpet at the Independent Spirit Awards

We Are Tootsie

By Paula Gaikowski

Paula channeling her inner Tootsie
(1999)

Back in 1982, there was a scarcity of information on transgender persons and crossdressing. So when I saw the Life magazine article about the upcoming release of the movie Tootsie, I was thrilled. 

Although Tootsie is not a movie about transgender persons or even crossdressing, it’s a movie about a man walking in the shoes of a woman both literally and metaphorically. The man, Michael Dorsey, is a narcissist and arrogant actor who no one will hire. He unintentionally sheds this toxic behavior and finds what life is like from a woman’s point of view and learns a lot about himself and the world we live in.

The role of Dorothy Michaels (Michael’s femme name) was also life-changing for Dustin Hoffman. Here he’s speaking about the first time he saw Dorothy in the mirror.

“It was at that moment I had an epiphany and I went home and started crying, talking to my wife. I said I have to make this picture and she said, ‘Why?’ And I said, ‘Because I think I am an interesting woman when I look at myself on screen. And I know that if I met myself at a party, I would never talk to that character because she doesn’t fulfill physically the demands that we’re brought up to think women have to have.”

Before Hoffman would even consider making the movie, he asked the studio to spend money on makeup and wardrobe to see if he could realistically look like a woman. He spent weeks in wardrobe working on a look and yes, I am jealous too! He wanted to look like an authentic woman in his words, “I wanted to walk down the streets of New York and not have anyone think ‘hey that’s a guy.’ 

In my opinion he was successful, the attention to detail was there, padded hips, breast forms, shaving and neutral makeup. Seeing all this, it spoke one thing to me as I sat there and read that Life magazine article, I could do this! I could make myself look like a woman and experience life as a woman. It would be years before I ventured out as Paula but make no mistake, Tootsie had a huge effect on me; for me too it was life changing. 

Dustin Hoffman sure looked fantastic as Dorothy. I understand he went out as Dorothy to restaurants, shops and businesses to see how people reacted. He seemed to have a zeal for this, much as we do. I wonder sometimes: civilian or non-civilian?

Wearing Joseph Ribkoff

San Francisco professional femulator D'Arcy Drollinger

Someday Funnies: Not a Funny Valentine

Wearing New York & Company

Ed Jones, David Cerda, Adrian Hadlock and Grant Drager femulating on stage in The Golden Girls: The Lost Episodes.

Getting Serious

Years ago, I created a list of the top 30 things every femulator needs to emulate a woman. Some of the items in the list were essentials (like wigs, jewelry, etc.) and some of the items were less essential. The casual femulator could get away without the less essential items. However, the serious femulator, that is, girls who pass among the civilians, it’s the little things that count, so the less essential items become essential.

When I say “it’s the little things that count,” I am referring to all the little things that together comprise a femulator. Reminds me of a trip years ago to attend First Event in the Boston area. Elaine was driving and I was riding shotgun en femme. I thought I looked pretty good and while I was admiring the false nails on my fingers, I noticed that (horrors!), I forgot to shave my hands! Luckily my electric shaver was accessible in my luggage in the back seat and I was able to fix that little thing before we arrived at the First Event hotel.

Checking into a hotel or using a credit card is another little thing. Most credit card companies will issue additional cards under the same account for other family members. So get an additional card issued to yourself, but just use the initial of your first name with your last name. For example, John Smith would get an additional credit card issued for “J Smith” to use when en femme. But that only works if John Smith goes female as Joan, Jean, Jackie, or some other female name starting with the letter J. (Lucky me, my male and female first names both start with the letter S.)

If you wear eyeglasses, next time buy a pair with unisex frames or if you can afford it, buy a second pair with a feminine frame. With an eyeglass prescription in hand, you can order eyeglasses online at very reasonable prices. (I recently bought a pair of girly glasses online for about $50.) 

If you need eyeglasses for reading, you can buy inexpensive reading glasses with very feminine frames just about anywhere (the local pharmacy, Walmart, etc). Also, you can buy woman's sunglasses just about anywhere, too.

Voila!

Wearing Roller Rabbit

Raimu femulating in the 1933 French film Théodore et Cie.