Wearing Ann Taylor |
Zach Cregger femulating on television’s The Whitest Kids U'Know. |
Cyrsti’s blog post yesterday on bathroom etiquette inspired me to rerun the following updated post today.
Your mileage may vary depending on where you live, but here in Connecticut, the courts say to use the restroom that matches your gender presentation. So Stana uses the ladies’ room and Stan uses the men’s room.Under such a policy, I feel completely safe using the ladies’ rooms in Connecticut. I don’t give it a second thought.
Actually, I use the ladies’ room wherever I find myself ― New York, Ohio, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, West Virginia ― in locales that do not have Connecticut’s diverse restroom policy. There is no way I am going to enter the men’s room in those states dressed to the nines in a skirt and heels! So I take a deep breath, gird my loins and use the ladies’ room.
The average civilian does not examine every person they encounter to try to determine if they are trans or not. Unless the transperson presents in a way that alerts a civilian that something is amiss (or not a Miss), the transperson will blend into the background of the civilian’s daily routine.
The same thing occurs when a civilian uses a restroom. They assume that all the ladies in the ladies’ room are cisgender females. In fact, a non-cisgender female in the ladies’ room is so foreign to civilians that it takes some doing to make them think otherwise. So if they see a tall woman in the ladies' room, they are likely to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Some girls recommend getting in and out of the ladies’ room as fast as possible, but in my opinion, a woman using the ladies’ room in a hurried and perhaps furtive manner may raise a few eyebrows. When I use the ladies’ room, I always put my best high-heeled foot forward. I walk into the ladies’ room as if I belong, do my business, wash my hands, primp in the mirror and exit when I am done. All the while, I try not to bring attention to myself by acting inappropriately.
For what it’s worth, all my visits to the ladies’s rooms have never raised an eyebrow – no one has ever complained that there is a lady with a willy using the facilities. On the contrary, my appearance in the ladies’ room occasionally attracts attention in a positive way when another women compliments me on my appearance or asks me where I bought my shoes or whatever and I find myself engaging in a conversation with a lady in the ladies’ room. How affirming is that?
Actually, I dread using the ladies’ room for its intended purpose. Usually, the stalls are too tight for an Amazonian like me and it is difficult to get half undressed in that confined space, which is essentially what you have to do in order to do what you have to do; raise your dress or lower your slacks, lower your pantyhose, lower your panties and if you are wearing a girdle, you have to deal with that, too.
After you do your business and wipe yourself, you have to get dressed in that confined space. That’s why I closely check myself out in the mirror after exiting the stall to make sure everything is where it is supposed to be.
And while you are in the stall, don’t put your bag on the floor ― yuck! Hang it on the hook that is usually mounted on the inside of the stall door.
And most importantly, remember to sit to pee!
Wearing Gracia |
I wear a girdle. I am the only person in my immediate family who wears girdles. However, my dear departed Mother wore girdles and growing up, I often borrowed her girdles. Since I take after her, that’s probably one reason why I wear girdles. (The other reason is to femininely shape my body.)
I have been throwing around the term “nancyboy” to describe a feminine/feminized male. But after receiving a comment from a reader concerning that term, I thought about it and realized it is incorrect. The correct term is “nancygirl.”
My reasoning is that “nancy-whatever” is supposed to be the opposite of “tomboy.” Since tomboy is combination of a male name (Tom) and the word “boy,” the opposite should be a combination of a female name (Nancy) and the word “girl” (not boy). (You would have to be nit-picker like me to worry about piddly stuff like this, but I am a nit-picker and so it goes.)
We feed the birds, squirrels, chipmunks and whatever wildlife shows up to eat the bird seed and peanuts I put out every morning. (Besides the usual suspects, we also had a deer and her two does, three raccoons, a groundhog and a bear.)
The leaves are starting to turn here and some have already fallen, but the wildlife continues to show-up to dine with one exception: the hummingbirds. Seems that they got out of Dodge early this week. I am saddened by their departure and the prospects of a long winter ahead.
Wearing Venus |
Femulating in Paris, circa 1960 |
Casually Stana |
Rhonda’s post Feminine Differential – Overt vs. Covert motivated me to write this post.
Rhonda wrote, “For years I hid behind a big wig, long sleeves, and high neck tops in a created, over-the-top, feminine facade. Although stylish, I was the caricature of a man who was crossdressing. Women generally did not dress that way; then or now. However in public, I thought I was being covert (no one is noticing) in my efforts to pass. I was thinking I was blending-in. Likely the only place I did blend-in, was at a crossdressing convention.”
Today, Rhonda dresses more casually: jeans or shorts, t-shirt, and sneakers with her hair in a ponytail.
She wrote, “I am ‘ma’am’ almost 100% of the time without the over-the-top feminine facade now.”
Contrast that with the office girl uniform I usually wear when I go out. I’m hoping that in the minds of civilians I encounter, I am a working woman going shopping after work or grabbing a bite to eat during lunch hour and not a crossdressing man.
Rhonda and I are different. She is full-time and I am part-time.
Being part-time, I wear the office girl uniform because I only get out so often and I want to wear a dress and heels when those opportunities arise. If I was full-time, I would still wear my office girl uniform on occasion, but I would dress more casually most of the time just like Rhonda.
That is exactly what happened when I attended Fantasia Fair, where I was a woman 24 hours a day for a week. During the day, I dressed casually – a top, leggings or shorts and flats to attend the various presentations and luncheons. But during the evening, it was a dress and heels to attend the banquets and shows.
And so it goes.
Wearing Venus |
Raymond Cordy (wearing boa) femulating in the 1934 French film Mam'zelle Spahi. |
Wearing Elisabetta Franchy |
Dylan Everett femulating on television’s Wingin’ It. You can view this femulation on YouTube. |
Wearing Venus |
Ken Chan femulating on Filippino television’s Destiny Rose, You can view Ken’s femulation on YouTube. |
I receive email advertisements regularly from Abby at Vivian Lou. (I am a very satisfied customer of their weight-shifting insoles for high heels.) The following email ad showed up in my inbox recently and I thought I would share it with you since many of the readers here are high heel fans.
Women wear heels for a variety of reasons.
Dolly Parton has said she wears heels to lift her spirits.
Shoe designer Charlotte Olympia Dellal wears heels to feel taller, sexier, more confident, powerful, and glamorous.
French fashion icon Carine Roitfeld wears heels to move, sit and speak differently.
Fashion designer Monique Lhuillier wears heels to feel empowered.
Rocker Lita Ford wears heels for attitude.
The former editor-in-chief of British Vogue Alexandra Shulman said, “Wearing a heel gives you a completely different feel about your body. In my case, it makes me feel in control.”
Whatever your reason for wearing high heels, it is our mission to help women like you - and the ones listed above - wear high heels 4x longer without pain so we can focus more on our dreams and less on our feet.
Here's to high heels without the hurt!
Cheers!
Abby
So, why do you wear high heels?
Wearing Venus |
Tam Williams femulating on British television’s A Touch of Frost. You can view this episode of A Touch of Frost on YouTube. |