Someday Funnies: Dragnet

Wearing Bebe

Femulating with big hair in Texas, summer of 1970

Blue Monday

 Got Those Not-Going-to-Hamvention Blues Again Dept.

If you have been following along here for awhile, you know I usually go to Hamvention in Ohio en femme. I drive the 750 miles to the Dayton area en femme, spend the long weekend at Hamvention en femme and drive home en femme.

Presenting at Hamvention 2018

Due to COVID19, Hamvention was cancelled in 2020 and 2021, so I was very much looking forward to going in 2022. Hamvention is this week, however, I will not be going because of my osteoarthritis. I am done with physical therapy, feel about 90% recovered and I could probably go if I grin and bear it. But it is too late to get a flight at a reasonable price.

And scratch the roadtrip because my osteoarthritis would not be tolerable sitting in the Subaru for 12 hours going and coming. And with gas prices being what they are, I estimate that gas would cost me over $300!

And with COVID19 rising again, I am not so sure that hanging out with 30,000 of my peers in confined quarters is a healthy choice. 

I will really miss the opportunity to present as a woman full-time for a five-day stint. It is usually one of the highlights of my year. Even worse, I will miss seeing all my friends and acquaintances who I normally see at Hamvention.

Guess I will have to wait ’til next year.

Who’s Counting Dept.

I check the blog’s statistics most days and most days, the blog gets 6500 to 7000 hits. But occasionally, the hit count is much higher. Last Thursday, May 5, it was over 10,000 and Thursday, May 12, it was again 10,000.

I cannot account for the higher hit counts. Go figure – I can’t!

Gordy and Mary (full names: Gordy Blanche and Mary Morgan), portrayed by Reiner Kohler (Gordy) and Georg Preuße (Mary), were a well-known German duo in the 1980s, performing on well-known stages as well as in many entertainment shows on television. (Source: Wikipedia.)

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus

Piotr Gawron-Jedlikowski femulates Magdalena Narozna on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar). You can view this femulation on YouTube.

At the Salon

I want to hear from all you ladies about your visits to salons. Whether your visits were for your hair, nails or makeup, tell us all about the experiences, good or bad. (MIkkiB kicked this off with her comments on Tuesday’s post.)

I suspect that your experiences will mostly be good. It has a lot to do with the Almighty Dollar, that is, if you are a paying customer, the person you pay will provide you with the services you seek with a smile.

Over the years, I have had six makeovers. Two at salons, one at a support group meeting, one at a transgender convention and two at cosmetics stores (Sephora). (Never had my hair or nails done at a salon.) 

Except for the two makeovers at Sephora, the providers knew going in that I was a femulating fellow. At Sephora, the providers probably figured me out after they got up close to my face to do the makeover.

In all cases, I was treated like a lady (AKA a paying customer). There was nothing untoward during the makeovers and I truly enjoyed the experiences.

So what about you? Share your salon stories. Your before and after photos are welcome.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

One, two or three femulators?

Someday Funnies: "Girls" in Gowns

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Mature femulators competing in a womanless beauty pageant

Accentuate, Accentuate, Accentuate

Mary Jo put on his high heels and then checked himself out in his full-length mirror. In his new skirt suit, he thought he looked more than adequate for his job as weather girl at Channel 6. His mascara accentuated his big green eyes, his lipstick accentuated his pouty lips, his bralette accentuated his boy boobs and his heels accentuated his shapely legs. 

As the the weather girl at Channel 6, accentuating his appearance was more important than knowing which way the wind blows. That is the case with most gainfully-employed boys these days – they are “eye candy.” Whether they worked reception or were weather or traffic girls at a local television station, how they looked was more important than what they knew.

Alice stopped typing. He had to get ready for work and would have to continue writing his online story this evening. 

Alice was the author of the popular “Mary Jo Series” – the adventures of a working boy in a woman’s world – stories which were aimed at young males trying to demonstrate that there were other options for boys besides being brides and housewives. 

His last Mary Jo story, “Mary Jo: Airline Stewardess,” was a big hit and he hoped that his next story, “Mary Jo: Weather Girl,” would be just as successful. But there was no time for that now because he had to go to work.

Alice put on his high heels and then checked himself out in his full-length mirror. In his new skirt suit, he thought he looked more than adequate for his job as receptionist at Channel 6. His mascara accentuated his big green eyes, his lipstick accentuated his pouty lips, his bralette accentuated his boy boobs and his heels accentuated his shapely legs.

And so it goes.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Divine (third from left) femulating in the 1988 film Hairspray.

Someday Funnies: Men at the Salon

Wearing Ted Baker

Six femulators in period costumes.

Breasts and Bras

Alison sent me a link to an article about breasts, the variety of their shape and the best and worst bras for each shape.

I was surprised by how many breast shapes there are. Turns out that mine are Full Bottom and accordingly, I should wear a shelf bra, which “is a type of either demi-cup or three-quarter-cup bra that lifts breasts in order to enhance their appearance, shape, and cleavage.” 

If I wear something that would reveal cleavage, I insert a pair of enhancers in each bra cup to give my cleavage a little oomph. But most of the time, I go au naturel.

Note that if you wear falsies and want to use the breast shape article for bra-shopping guidance, go by the shape of your falsies and not your God-given endowments.

And may the falsies be with you.

Wearing Bebe

Femulate reader Mousse

Someday Funnies: Happy Mother’s Day

You should have been a girl!

“You should have been a girl!” is a statement my mother made to me a number of times while I was growing up. Usually she made it after complementing my shapely girlish legs. Or on other occasions, when she mentioned that I “walked like a girl” (on my tiptoes).

To compound my gender confusion, whenever she took my sister and I out on her shopping trips, she insisted that I use the ladies’ room when nature called. I don’t recall if I stood or sat to pee, but I used the ladies’ room until I was 10 or 11 years old.

Then there was my introduction to makeup.

I was probably between the ages of 7 and 10 and for a day or two, I got the notion that I wanted to be a circus clown when I grew up. I remember I was home with my mother and I covered my face with my mother’s cold cream to simulate a clown’s white face. Then I added lipstick. What a mess!

I showed my handiwork to my mother and she volunteered to do a better job. She removed my handiwork and started anew applying various cosmetics to my face.

When she was done, I looked in the mirror and was shocked. Instead of looking like a clown, I looked like a girl!

In retrospect, I am not sure if she realized what I was trying to do. I do not recall if I was clear about trying to be a circus clown. She may have thought I was trying to be a girl and acted accordingly.

I suspect that later, when I began exploring femininity, she would have been very willing to assist me, but I never asked for her help or revealed my desires even when she prompted me with, “Is there anything you want to tell me?”’

In retrospect, I realize she knew (mothers always know) after finding my hidden stash of girly things and learning about my Halloween excursions en femme, but I was too closeted to tell her the truth that I really was her daughter, not her son.

Anyway, Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Wearing Ramy Brook

Katherine Cummings femulating at Casa Susanna in the 1960’s