What’s on your mind?

Did my waiter think “typical crossdresser”
when I asked him to take this photo?

Reflecting on an evening out en femme during a business trip a few years ago, I realized that I tried to read the minds of everyone I encountered while I was out.

This was not a one time occurrence. Rather, it occurs any time I am out en femme.

Reviewing the evening is a good example of what I do.

The Smoker

As I exited the hotel to drive to the restaurant, a young man was smoking a cigarette outside the exit. As I walked out the door, he gave me the once-over and I began trying to read his mind.

Why are you checking me out? Do I look pretty to you or do I look pretty bad? Am I the first crossdresser you ever saw? Just in case, I will sashay to my car to try to affirm my womanhood in your eyes.

The Maître d’

Entering the restaurant, I encountered a 30-something maître d’. He smiled, welcomed me, and asked to take my coat.

As I removed my coat, I began mind-reading.

Do you think I am a woman or a man in a dress? Are you treating me nicely because you don’t care what I am, as long as I have money to spend or are you treating me nicely because I am an attractive female customer?

After he took my coat, he asked me to wait a second while he checked to see what tables were available and I continued mind-reading:

Are you looking for a table in a dark corner to hide the crossdresser or are you just looking for a table for one?

Turned out that the table was on the veranda amidst other customers.

The Busgirl

After the maître d’ showed me to my table, a pretty 20-something busgirl came to my table to remove the extra place setting. She smiled broadly as she said, “Good evening.”

After I returned my “good evening,” I tried to read her mind.

Why are you smiling at me like that? Are you on the verge of laughing at the man in a dress or are you just being very cordial?

The Waiter

Next, a 20-something waiter arrived to take my drink order. He also had a big smile on his face and was very cordial.

Are you on the verge of laughing at me, too? Has the word spread amongst the whole restaurant staff that a crossdressing customer is in their midst?

The Rest of the Waitstaff

It seems I had the only male waiter in the restaurant. The other two that I saw were female and were young and pretty to boot. When I caught their eye, they smiled and said, “Hello.”

Are you checking out the crossdresser, too, or are you just being cordial?

The Two Women

Two women customers sat opposite me at a table situated 90 degrees to mine. If I looked straight ahead, I looked at them. I did not want to be rude, so I tried looking out the window to my left or into the restaurant on my right, but my vision always reverted back to them and I am sure they were aware of my predicament.

Finally, the younger of the two looked my way, caught my eye, smiled and asked me, “How are you?”

That broke the ice and we three made pleasant small talk for awhile and they seemed to accept me as another woman, but that did not stop my mind-reading.

Was my voice too low when I last spoke? Did I give myself away? Did I put some doubts in their mind about my womanhood? Will they kick me out of the “girls’ club” now?

If they had any doubts, they did not indicate it because we continued speaking off and on until they left.

And so it goes

That’s me: always the perfectionist, never satisfied, always worried that my femulation is lacking in some way.

Mind-reading does not prevent me from enjoying my times out en femme, but I wonder if I would find more enjoyment if I did not try to mind-read.

On the other hand, maybe my concern about my femulation makes me a better femulator. I want to be the best woman I can be, so perhaps mind-reading helps me to achieve that goal.

Wearing Venus

Lily Roberts, beach girl

Someday Funnies: His old hobby was drag racing

Wearing Christopher Esber

Longtime Femulate reader Tina Bea: click here to visit her flickr page and click here to visit her blog.

Random Thoughts

Watched some of the NFL playoffs this weekend and I could not help noticing one of the commentators on the NBC crew: Maria Taylor. On Sunday, Ms. Taylor wore an amazing leg-revealing outfit (something I'd wear). I Googled her and it turns out that besides fashion, we have something else in common: we are both 6 feet 2 inches (188 cm) tall!

👠👠👠

I have been making up my face for about 60 years and I still feel inept when applying mascara to my lower eyelashes and when applying liquid eyeliner. My eyeliner usually comes out ok, but my lower lashes – not so much. And they say that practice makes perfect!

Maria Taylor

Dawn, after her first Halloween party at a country dance bar where she had a great time dancing with her wife, who portrayed Dawn‘s husband.

Someday Funnies: The Original Drag Race

The Original Drag Race
Circa 1962
When “femulators” were called “transvestites”

Wearing Venus

Joanne Askew after a fabulous makeover at Arpi‘s Salon on the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia

Friday Femulations: Update

Regarding today’s Friday Femulations post, Fiona commented, “Love the blue, both the color and the cut. You have the figure of a much younger woman. One point - shoes are part of the outfit, and we do not see them...”

So as not to disappoint, here are photos with shoes (Payless Christian Siriano Habit nude pumps).

Friday Femulations

I had a Zoom meeting en femme on Tuesday, so before the meeting, I had an opportunity to model the two dresses I recently Christmas-gifted myself from Venus.

The pleated turtleneck sweater dress is perfect for this time of year in frigid New England and it fits me like a glove. I like it so much that I have the same dress in black, too.

In the past, I avoided turtlenecks because it was difficult to put one on without smudging your makeup. 

One solution is to get dressed first and then do your makeup with a towel or some such over your shoulders to prevent makeup crumbs from messing up your clothing. I tried that once and it worked, but keeping the towel in place while applying makeup was a pain. 

Another solution, which I now use, is to put a plastic bag over your head after applying your makeup and slip your bagged head into the turtleneck. Works like a charm.

The animal print ruched dress is very sexy and shows off all my curves. It is also mid-thigh short, but short hemlines have never stopped me before! I will wear it to the next cocktail party I’m invited to.

And, yes, I am wearing a new hairdo: Maura from Paula Young. 

And, yes, I know it is an inexpensive wig, which runs counter to my recommendation not to go cheap when buying a wig. It was a spur-of-the-moment purchase – what can I say?

Speaking of wigs... 

I was watching Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC yesterday and fell in love with her new hairdo. And I wondered if I could find a wig like her new do. 

After a little Googling, I found a Raquel Welch wig (Upstage) that is a reasonable facsimile of Andrea’s hairdo (see below). Upstage is available in a large cap size, which makes it even more attractive, but I am a little hesitant about making the purchase because it is expensive, but that has never stopped me before! 

And so it goes.

Wearing Bebe

Helene Tagada, a Femulate reader from France

Someday Funnies

Wearing Nine West

Rachel McNeill in Richmond, Virginia, at the “Miss Fisher Con”  (a 1920s cos-play experience for those of us who love Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries on Acorn and PBS), where her and her wife spent three days. Rachel has several 1920s outfits. This one came from Unique Vintage, including the shoes. The cloche-style hat came from Boston Millenary.

Be a Normal Man

“Be a Normal Man” is the subject of a spam e-mail I received yesterday. So, following the advice of that e-mail, I went to Home Depot to do some shopping like a “normal man.”

To my astonishment, there were more women shopping at Home Depot than men. The majority of the Home Depot “associates” were women, too.

I felt a little out of place just like when I go shopping for girly things in a girly store while dressed in boy mode. It felt like every woman in Home Depot was watching me to see what girly product I would fondle. I could read their minds, “What is HE going to do with that Torx screwdriver?”

I was so paranoid that I used the automated self-check-out instead of going to a cashier (who were all women) to avoid the smirks and knowing looks that I was bound to receive while making my girly purchase.

Next time I shop at Home Depot, I will be sure to wear a dress, wig, makeup and heels so I won’t feel out of place.

Anne Hathaway

Diana Hunt is a native of Washington, D.C., but now lives in Rome, Italy, with a wife, who she married twice on the same day – in the morning as a woman and a man, and later in the day as two women. Click here to visit Diana’s Pinterest page.

Someday Funnies: Modern Marriage

Wearing Bebe

The always lovely Janet Mills

All of Me

I appreciate all the thoughtful comments that you readers sent responding to my Unfathomable post on Thursday. They gave me a lot to think about.

If you have been following the blog for awhile, you may recall that my many Halloween workdays en femme outed myself to my co-workers. At the time, I was clueless about my self-outing, although I assumed that some of my co-workers figured me to be trans something or other. Yet, no one ever questioned me about it. It was just common knowledge that I crossdressed (convincingly) on Halloween and whatever will be, will be.

After I retired, I was invited back for the company Christmas party. When I showed up en femme, no one blinked twice and m co-workers treated me as they had always treated me because no matter how I dressed, I was the same person.

Dressing en femme always was a better fit. My speech and mannerisms were always decidedly feminine (without even trying). My thoughts were usually on the feminine side of the street and I outright rejected things I found ill-fitting or downright appalling on the masculine side of the street.

I always felt more comfortable socializing with women. Although, I also socialized with men, and have had many male friends over the years, I always hesitated socializing with males because in the past, males abused and bullied me due to my feminine nature. (With friends like that, who needs... ?)

And there were too many female hormones and the resulting gynecomastia, but I was never tested for either, so who knows? But there is no question that I have always had female-like breasts (just more ammo for the macho mob). 

Finally, regarding sexy time, I was attracted to women, never men (although many men found the en femme me attracted).

So, what does that make me?

A woman, transvestite, female impersonator, transsexual, lady, femulator, girly man, crossdresser, etc.

Labels be damned. I am who I am, that is, uniquely me (just as you are uniquely you).

And so it goes.

Wearing Venus

Virginia, wearing a vintage dress, wrote, “ Congratulations to you who enchants my reading every day with your duper blog for the morale of femulators like mw, who don’t dare to go out in the street. 

Someday Funnies

Wearing StyleWe

Donna Anne viewing photos of herself trying on dresses at Dress Barn a few years ago.