Someday Funnies

Wearing Ann Taylor

Femulate reader Carollyn Olson in a historic Catholic Church courtyard in her hometown in Northern California. This is one of many pictures from her “personal” photoshoot using a timer and a Nikon camera.

Why

I have been femulating most of my life starting at age 12 and continuing non-stop more or less ever since. Early on, I wondered why I was doing it. 

Those were the dark ages and there was nowhere to go to find out why. Asking my parents was not an option. Our encyclopedia had one foreboding sentence defining “transvestite,” without any explanation as to its cause (I figured they didn’t know either).

Maybe I was a homosexual, but I discarded that notion because I had no interest in boys and was definitely interested in girls.

Over the years, I came up with a number of theories.

• Although I was very interested in girls, I did not know how to interact with them for the purpose of dating. Did I become my own girlfriend due to my lack of success in dating? (http://www.femulate.org/2017/10/i-am-my-own-girlfriend.html)
  
  
• I have female-like breasts. Gynecomastia is the result of a hormone imbalance between estrogen and androgen and that imbalance causes other feminine traits to occur. I have always been a feminine male in my speech, mannerisms, etc. Dressing as a woman is such a perfect fit that femulating as often as possible became an attractive pursuit. (http://www.femulate.org/2017/10/why-i-am-way-i-am-maybe.html)

• I was a woman in my past life/lives. As a young child, I had many dreams that in retrospect, indicated to me that I had at least one previous life and that I was a woman in that life. Switching to the male gender in this life was not a clean transition and many female characteristics have carried over. (http://www.femulate.org/2016/12/in-cards.html)
  
  
• All of the above (or none of the above).

Does it matter? It would be nice to know, but it does not really matter. I am what I am. It has not always been easy, but it sure has been interesting! 

Wearing Venus

Femulate reader, Gloria, formerly of Mardi Gras Hotel, Blackpool, England

Someday Funnies: Always Wear Clean Undies

Source: Who What Wear

Paula, a long-time Femulate reader

Baby Your Wig

You are lucky if you come by your coiffure naturally. I am not so blessed and depend on wig makers to complete my female visage. And I would guess that most readers of this blog are in the same boat.

Wigs are the most expensive item in my wardrobe, so I baby them. 

One thing I learned the last time I attended Fantasia Fair was that you do not use generic hairsprays on a synthetic wig. On that trip, I had forgotten to pack hairspray and first day at the Fair, I sashayed down Commercial Street looking for a store to buy hairspray. 

First stop was a hair salon where the proprietor warned me not to use generic hairspray on my wig – it would ruin the wig. I needed to use synthetic wig hairspray (they never taught us that at the feminization academy). I have used wig hairspray ever since.

They also did not teach us how to wash our wigs at the academy, but I came upon this article from The Wig Company that describes how to do it. So follow those instructions and be nice to your wig.

I mentioned that wigs are the most expensive item in my wardrobe. So while on the subject, I will repeat what I have said in the past: don’t go cheap when you buy a wig. Wear a cheap wig and it looks like you are wearing a cheap wig. Instead, shop for a wig that lists for approximately $200 and it will not look like you are wearing an expensive wig. 

For even more authenticity, buy a wig with dark roots. The average civilian will be fooled thinking no one would wear a wig with visible dark roots – it’s counter-intuitive. Dark roots prove that your wig is the real thing.

I follow my own advice, splurge on my wig purchases, get dark roots and over the years, I have received a lot of compliments about my “hair.” 

Wearing Bebe

Michelle, a Femulate reader with a Mona Lisa smile.

Someday Funnies: It Suits Me

Wearing Chicwish

Allison, another long-time Femulate reader, enjoying the great outdoors.

Someday Funnies: Rockette Man

Wearing Paige

Jenny Williams' night in during COVID lockdown playing Mansions of Madness.
Jenny blogs at Jenny's Journey.

Someday Funnies: Miss Taken Identity

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Down under Femulate reader Lena Andrews preparing to leave home in 2015 to attend a Gilbert and Sullivan performance at the local Jetty Theatre.

I’m Kneedy

I messed up my knee last week while on my daily hike through the woods. The hiking path is ankle deep in leaves now and the nooks and crannies that I normally sidestep are hidden. So I stepped into a hidden nook and my knee suffered as a result.

As a result, I had to forgo two outings this week: an outreach session at a local high school today and a Christmas dinner near Philly on Friday. I may recover by Friday, but RSVPs were due last week, so I erred on the side of caution and sent my regrets.

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I love the sentiments of this captioned image. I don’t know if the caption was really written by a femulator's spouse or is a total fake, but I like it nevertheless.

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Many of you have sent your images to be posted in the Femulator slot below. There is no deadline for sending me your pix, so please do so if you haven't done so already. But please note that I am posting the images in the order received and the backlog is such that images I receive now will not be posted until next month. But the wait is worth it!

Source: Rue La La

Femulate reader Nicole “Nikki” Windsor out and about in her backyard.
You can find her on Pinterest.

Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Femulate reader Juliet Lewis

A Gucci Christmas!

By Lisa Phelps

A real Gucci dress on me, really?

Let me start at the beginning of the story. Several years ago I decided I wanted to create my own prom. After all, I missed out getting dressed up properly for my high school prom, if you don’t count the midnight blue satin suit with ruffled shirt that was in vogue in the 1970’s. (You must admit from the accompanying photo of a similar suit, that it gives off good feminine vibes, even without the ruffled shirt.

I won’t bore you with my prom story here, but suffice it to say that to attend my prom I needed “the dress” and I found a gorgeous one at Macy’s on sale for something like $69. 

After I bought the dress, I noticed that the designer was Adrianna Papell. I happily included that information in a description of the night to my daughter and her reaction was “I have no idea who the designer you mentioned is… I don’t like the idea of spending too much… it’s all about branding and buying into an idea.” 

Essentially, she was letting me know that while the dress was beautiful, she could care less who designed it. I must admit that I am not a designer hound either – I was more impressed that I got a great deal on the dress! I thought it looked gorgeous (and it would have been over the top stunning if only the model had been better...)

After that experience, I have tried not to pay much attention to labels except to check to see if a dress will fit me. The other day, however, I was in TJ Maxx browsing the racks for anything that would be fun to try on or buy or both. This particular store had a good selection of both inexpensive and more expensive clothes and I greedily snapped up a half dozen dresses and tops to take with me to the fitting room. 

A burgundy satin gown really caught my attention. It looked absolutely regal and visually striking while still up on the hangar jammed in with other less worthy examples. What would it look like on me, I wondered? The hangar tag said it was a size 10. Since I sometimes can squeeze into a size 10, I added it to the items I wanted to try on.

After not quite being able to zip it up, however, I had to admit to myself that the dress just didn’t fit. I sadly slipped out of the dress to look at the label again to check the size. The label definitely said 10, so the problem was the girth around the chest area, not the dress. (Oh, the joys of AMAB!) That is when I saw that it was a Gucci. 

A Gucci dress at TJ Maxx? Really? TJ Maxx is a discounter/reseller; it didn’t make sense that they would be carrying a dress like that. Then I noticed the price tag. TJ Maxx was selling it for the highly discounted price of only $1,400 (One Thousand Four Hundred Dollars!). OMG. This dress was originally $2,700. 

I decided right then and there that I was going to try it on again and take a photo of myself in it. When would I get a chance to try on a dress like that again? When would someone let me even do that without pressuring me to buy it? So I did and the photo didn’t end up looking half bad.

You can see that I had to put one arm behind me. That ploy was required to hold together the two ends of the ribboned belt that went just under the bosom. Even with that maneuver, I think you will agree that the dress still looked amazing, even on this old dress form. Quality really does show well.

If that dress had been $140 instead of $1400, I probably would have bought it even though I have never spent that much on a dress (a footnote to readers struck by my apparent willingness to spend a lot of money on a dress – I am in my 60’s now. When I was younger and had a growing family, I never spent more than about $10 on any of my womenswear items). My seamstress could have let it out enough for me to wear it. 

Truthfully, I would have been crazy to buy the dress even at 1/10th the cost because it would simply have gone into the closet with the other lonely members of my formal dress collection. I have a half dozen amazing dresses in that wonderful assembly of style (including the one I wore to my “prom”), but I am lucky if I have just one event every couple of years calling for a dress like that. 

I take comfort from my wife’s own, similar collection of formalwear. Although too-often ignored, each dress nevertheless shines like a beacon of ultimate femininity from the corner of my closet calling me to go out and dance!

I should add that I was just in New York with my wife and we passed the Gucci store on Fifth Avenue. As we went by, my best friend brought me full circle when she said, “I am not impressed by Gucci. It is for insecure people who are trying to place their value as human beings on their stuff. The money can be spent on much better things that help human kind.” 

Like daughter, like mother! They are both right on some level of course, but come on, ladies, don’t the times sometimes demand a little style?

Regardless of the inclinations of the ladies in my life, I’ll hang on to my life lesson from this experience: you may not be able to fit the girl in the Gucci, but the Gucci still belongs on the girl. Yeah, baby – Gucci Gucci Goo!

Wearing Yumi Kim

Alyss Hart is a Femulate reader from the Gold Coast, Australia, posing earlier this year at a crossdressing studio, Arpi's House of Transformation.