Worth Repeating

Diana wrote this on her blog on Saturday and it needs repeating here on Monday.

Fluff

[RANT]

That is what the readers want.

A couple of weeks ago I posted about Fantasia Fair… I set a record for visits to my blog!

When I write about a trans woman being beaten with a 2x4… 30 or 40 hits.

When I write about a Connecticut politician trying to strip health insurance from us… nothing.

When I write about a bill to prevent trans children from transitioning… again 30 or 40 hits.

When I wrote about Fantasia Fair… 1200 hits!

People, one day you are going to wake up and find that it is now illegal for us to go out in public. Get your head out of the sand. Hate crimes against trans people are skyrocketing! Laws against us has turned into an epidemic! Dozens and dozens of laws have been introduced not only in red states, but also in blues states. Courts have ruled against us in housing, employment and in public accommodations.

They don’t care if you only crossdress on weekends, they don’t care if you have transitioned. All they care about is that they hate your guts and want to see you dead! Dead! Dead! The murder of trans people this year is on its way of setting a record for our murders.

Harvey Milk, at speech given on Gay Freedom Day (1978-06-25) in San Francisco said,

Gay brothers and sisters, you must come out. Come out to your parents. I know that it is hard and will hurt them, but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives. Come out to your friends, if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors, to your fellow workers, to the people who work where you eat and shop. Come out only to the people you know, and who know you, not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths. Destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake.

It was true then, it is true now.

You upset their 1950 view of the United States; they do not like you if you are different from them whether it is your skin color, your religion, your sexual orientation, your gender identity – you are different from them and they hate feeling “uncomfortable.”

You can’t hide, it is time for action.

Get out and be an activist just by being yourself.

[/RANT]

Wearing Madeleine

Femulate reader Sue Richmond during a trip to Kew Gardens in London.
Click here to visit her blog.

Someday Funnies: She Likes It!

Wearing AG

Richard Chamberlain femulating on television’s The Drew Carey Show.

You are invited!

Instead of photos of femulators in films and television, I would like to feature some real life femulators in the “Femulator” slot below (that means you). So this is an invitation to send me your photo to be crowned “Femulator of the Day.” 

Just a couple of rules: 

1. Make sure your photo is ladylike, so nothing pornographic and nothing with too much skin showing.

2. Send me one photo – the photo you consider your best. If you send more than one photo, I will have to choose which one to publish and you may not like my choice.

3. Indicate how you want your name to appear in the caption: first and last name, just your first name or no name. 

4. If you are out and about in the photo, indicate what you are doing (e.g., “shopping at Macy’s,” “dining at the White House,” etc.). 

5. If you have a blog or website, include its URL and I will mention it in the caption.

I hope to see your photo soon!

Wearing Baobab

Stana staffing the registration table at the Transgender Lives Conference.

Someday Funnies: Ultimatum

Wearing Venus

Vladimir Luxuria

Postponed

I was supposed to do outreach at a local high school today, but the person at the school who requested us forgot that today was a half day for the students. So outreach has been rescheduled for next Wednesday. (That gives me another week to think about what I am going to wear!)

Readers asked to describe outreach.

Outreach is an attempt to educate and enlighten non-transgender people about what it means to be transgender. 

It occurs in two parts. First, each outreach presenter gives a brief autobiography (about five minutes long). Then the audience asks us questions.

All of the outreach I have done in the past was with college students who were attending as part of a course they were taking (typically Human Sexuality). I expect that the questions from the high schoolers may be different because attendance is voluntary and not related to a course they are taking. Rather, they are attending because they are members of the school’s gender and sexuality club. They have skin in the game, so I suspect their questions will be different.

Click here to read my post about the most memorable questions asked of me at past outreaches.

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Rob Lowe femulating a nurse in the 1984 film Hotel New Hampshire.

Someday Funnies: Or Else

Wearing Venus

Miles (left), Ted (right)

Coming out is hard

When I decided to attend Hamvention as a woman, I felt obligated to inform the officers and directors of the organization whose booth I would be staffing at the convention (I was an officer and director myself). I also felt obligated to inform my publisher and editor, who published my ham radio books and articles. 

I composed a coming out letter. That was the easy part. Sending it was the hard part.

I recall copying that letter into the text of an email, adding all the email addresses into the To: field and then hesitating to click on the Send button for hours... over three hours. 

I finally realized that my hesitancy was ridiculous – I had to come out to these people or chuck my plans to attend the convention as a woman. So I clicked on the Send button and waited for the reaction.

I was shocked by the response. Not a discouraging word, just lots of support from my publisher, editor and fellow officers and directors. 

What a relief! And that episode empowered me to come out to anyone. 

mytransgenderdate.com recently did a study with their user base about their coming out experience.

They discovered some interesting findings.

Transwomen are three times more likely to come out than transmen

The majority of transwomen come out before age 30

Many transmen don’t think that they need to come out

Friends and mothers are favorite persons to come out to first

26% of transwomen said they lost their job or a job opportunity as a result of coming out

Only 6% of transwomen declare regretting coming out

Click here to access the whole study (methodology, numbers, charts) and an accompanying article.

Wearing Paige

Frank Puglia femulating in the 1937 film Bulldog Drummond’s Revenge.

Someday Funnies: A Gateway Drag

Wearing Bebe

Joan Marshall femulating in the 1961 film Homicidal. In this film, Joan played a male who crossdressed as a female. You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Someday Funnies: Look Femme, Feel Femme, Be Femme

Wearing Envy

20-something femulator

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly or Brenda’s Attempt at “Out and About”

By Brenda

I had a rare opportunity with no one home for a full 24 hours that would allow me to be “out and about” for an evening. My plan was to visit the mall, a hardware store and Ikea. I planned to leave the house upon nightfall allowing several hours of shopping. However, retail hours have been cut short and stores are not open until 10 p.m. anymore.

I had my outfit ready to go and would enjoy an afternoon at home first. I just needed to tape up the Zoom camera just in case I had a work call.

The Good

Wearing of a mask means I don’t need any real makeup except for eye shadow. Wearing glasses, the impact may be less. I still put on lipstick to match my press-on nails.

The Bad

An important package was to arrive at the last minute needing a signature, which put my departure time later than planned. This cost me time.

The neighbors set up a hockey net right in front of my driveway and played road hockey with their kids. That cost me time as I needed for them to go away so I could drive out without notice or suspicion.

My shoe size has gone from a size 10, 20 years ago to a size 11 and now it’s very much a size 12. Pre -planning helped me find a nice pump, but I really wanted a chunkier heel, but the stiletto would work. Is this what happens as we age – our feet get bigger?

COVID weight gain pushed my skirt size up two sizes, but a quick visit to the thrift shops solved that problem. In fact, I spotted another gurl casually spending time enjoying herself shopping.

The Ugly

My left knee has become problematic and of course, it was giving me pain the day before. This ruled out the high heels. No problem – my flats fit fine, but I will bring my pumps just in case.

So anxiously eyeballing the road hockey family, they finally realized it was too dark to play and packed up. By now it was 7:30 p.m. and I decided maybe I should just go straight to Ikea as the mall closed at 8 p.m.

Well, I managed to check out DSW just before closing hoping to find new shoes, but no luck.

Ikea worked out great as I followed through the maze, but what I wanted was out of stock. My knee held up well with the high heels with the shopping cart providing support.

The time savings without the check out line let me drop into Lowes to look up paint colors and stroll through appliances and kitchens. I was feeling very confident that I am sure the middle-aged woman would pass well in the power tools section as well. I did wear my flats.

So what does a femulator do when the stores close?

A drive-through coffee, a visit with a couple of ATM machines, return some books at the library drop box, drop off donation items at two charity boxes, but I did not mail any letters. I switched to my heels and parked farther away than normal allowing the swish of my skirt and the clicking of my heels to serenade my femininity.

I was home by 10:30 p.m. and changed into something more casual, but still feminine (as opposed to a sweat shirt and track pants) and enjoyed tidying up the kitchen and putting everything away.

I did enjoy my chance to go get some fresh air even though I had several obstacles in my way. My confidence went up as the mask provides a sense on anonymity, but in my hyper vigilance of reading reactions, I found no instance of double takes or confused stares that would put me on edge. Many shoppers go about their business unaware of others and I found that I am passable because I try to blend in for my age group and stay confident in knowing I belong. Just like the civilians, I too go about my business unaware of others (though my Spidey sense is always on).

One thing I did realize is that possibly I will seem out of place in the malls from a fashion standpoint. Women have moved to tight sport clothes, casual sweats, jeans and more casual footwear. The stylish woman is either hiding in her home or they too have adopted the new, super casual look. This is a look I don’t think I can pull off and blend into the crowd as I prefer the jacket, skirt and scarf that represents the executive assistant or secretary style.

Maybe I need to lose the extra weight and give the casual look a try. Maybe I also need to abandon the Spanx and girdle and leave the bra behind like todays woman, but then I won’t have a skirt or heels or stockings to make myself feel feminine.

Wearing Böhme

John Inman (right) femulating in British television’s Are You Being Served?

Being a "girl" vs. being a "woman" on Halloween

The following article originally appeared in the always entertaining Gwen’s Place, Glavyril's now-defunct blog. Although originally written as fiction, take it from me that there is a lot of truth in this story.

While many transgenders and crossdressers dress frequently and are out and about, surely many more indulge themselves only on special occasions – none of which is more special than Halloween. 

If they have a real gal in their lives who cares and wants to be supportive, be aware that it can be stressful for her. Understandably, she may be supportive of many things in private, but not want it to be general knowledge that her beau has a girly side.

All excited about their upcoming Halloween party, Henry used some poor judgement with regards to body hair removal. Fortunately, his clever girlfriend defused his faux pas by doing him up in a homemade costume that no one will take seriously. Henry, who was likely planning on “working girl chic,” while feeling a bit ridiculous, probably does not realize what a favor his supportive girlfriend has rendered. 

Perhaps he even feels that she is trying to humiliate him? Not hardly – she even plans to cover for him, “Well, he didn’t want to shave everything, but he looks so cute and a little girl can’t be all hairy, now, can she?” 

No, Henry had “big girl” plans and had not planned to have a ribboned girlish bob, while wearing pink ruffles, carrying a dolly and girly handbag to the party. But Linda is not cruel and she spent a lot of time on his outfit! Folks will certainly chuckle if not laugh at “Henrietta” as Linda will call him. His buddies will be calling him that for months, but it will still look to them like a costume… perhaps over the top, but still a costume.

Now, a cruel Linda would have helped poor Henry look as much like a real woman as possible for the party, something out of the Devil Wears Prada motif, perhaps? Sure, the “Little Girl” might raise a few eyebrows but it is silly, innocent, heck boob-less and can likely be laughed off by folks, especially if “Mommy” plays along. 

As compared to a Henrietta with a glam coiffure, wearing a pencil-skirted Armani suit and Jimmy Choo heels, shaved, plucked, boobed and bejeweled, basically looking like an avid reader of Vogue. As the knowing smirks and pointed comments accumulate, Linda may likely let Henry take the fall as she thinks he should.

“Oh, he does it all the time. It seems I am dating another woman,” she might let slip after a drink or two.

So, if you are not ready to be outed, think “costume” not “real.” 

Wearing Venus

Lil Nas X femulates Nicki Minaj (Halloween 2020)