whatever works (still works)

I originally posted this in November 2009.

There is a joke that has been around the transgender community for awhile that goes like this:

What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?

Three years.

The joke implies that when someone realizes that he or she is a crossdresser, it takes three years to realize that he or she is a transsexual.

There is some truth to that joke. I have witnessed many folks come out as crossdressers, only to come out as transsexuals three or so years later.

But, sometimes it takes longer.

After crossdressing for over four decades, I recently came to the realization that I am a woman.

I am not a woman trapped in a man’s body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances, I am the most womanly male they know and that’s because I really am a woman.

True, my container is male (more or less), but its contents are 100% female.

I am very averse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents.

I am very happy being a woman and very glad that I am not a “man.” I might be happier if I could present as a woman all of the time, but I have made choices in my life that make that impossible. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

Whatever works.

Wearing Jonathan Simkhai

Richard E. Grant en femme in the British film Everybody’s Talking About Jamie.

Swingin’ ’60’s Chick

In honor of our favorite holiday on Sunday, I am reposting past Halloween posts every Friday in October. The following is a repost from my old blog, dated October 2006.

Saturday was fabulous!

My makeup went on flawlessly. I think that after 40 years, I am starting to get the hang of it! I was trying to achieve that big eye look that was popular back in the late 1960’s and I think I did a good job of replicating it. False eyelashes were the key to achieving the look. I was very happy with the results.

Darn fishnets started tearing as soon as I pulled them up over my fanny, but the tear was in the crotch and did not spread, so I left well enough alone. After I put on the dress and the boots, I looked just like another swingin’ chick of the ’60’s!

I was ready to go at 5:30 PM, which was much too early for heading out to my support group’s meeting/party, so I decided to visit my friends Patty and Ron and let them see my costume. I called to make sure they would be home (they would) and then I hit the road.

I wanted to stop and buy some pastry for the party. I remembered that the local IGA’s have nice pastry, so I stopped at the IGA in Southington to shop for the sweets. Note well that with my go-go boots, I am about 6 feet 5 inches tall and dressed unlike anyone else in the store. I walked to the extreme opposite corner of the store where the bakery was located and I did not notice anyone noticing me, neither customers or store staff.

I picked up some strawberry and cheese mini-Danishes and proceeded to the cashier. There were two lines, each with about 4 or 5 customers. As is my way, I managed to choose the slow line and was stuck right behind an elderly couple who were taking their sweet time unloading their shopping cart.

A 30-something woman in the other line noticed me and smiled while checking me out intently. I don’t know if she was smiling because she liked my costume or because she realized I was male. I was hoping that we would leave the store at the same time and that she might say something, but with Ma and Pa taking their sweet time in front of me, she was long gone by the time I checked out.

As Ma was removing the last item from her carriage, she noticed me, gave me the once over, then turned to the business at hand, i.e., paying the cashier.

I was next. The male cashier asked, “How I was doing this evening?” and showed no signs that he knew I was crossdressed. I paid for the pastry and exited the store truly amazed at how anti-climatic it all had been.

I visited Patty and Ron and met their two bijon frise dogs. Everyone including the dogs, seemed to like my costume.

Then, I headed up to West Hartford for the party. There was a nice crowd... about 15 to 20 people, most in costume. It seemed that almost everyone brought some goodies to eat. It was quite a sweet spread!

I received a number of compliments for my costume and makeup. That was nice!

I guess most everyone had a good time because the meeting/party did not break up until after 11 PM, which is the latest I have ever seen a support group meeting break up.

Wearing New York & Company

Couple crossdressed for Halloween

Someday Funnies: Costume... Not!

For me, there is a lot of truth in this cartoon. Attending civilian Halloween parties en femme, I overheard the words spoken above at least twice. Another time, I was asked point-blank what was my sex. Still another time, a male tried to pick me up because he thought I was a female. Yet still another time, a female tried to pick me up because she thought I was a lesbian. And so it goes! 

 

Wearing Alexis

Bing Crosby femulating in the 1960 film High Times.
You can see Bing in pink on YouTube.

Here Comes the Boy Bride

Over the weekend, I came across a copy of the November issue of Reader’s Digest and I was very surprised to see an item in the magazine’s “Life in these United States” section: a cute photo of a young boy and girl crossdressing as a bride and groom. 

The photo illustrated an item titled “He’s a Family Man” submitted by the grandmother of a five-year-old boy, who wrote, “When I asked my five-year-old grandson why he was so anxious to turn six, he replied, ‘So I can finally get married and have kids!’”

I have not read Reader’s Digest in years, so maybe the magazine has become more liberal, but it is one of the last places I would expect to see an image of a crossdressed boy.

Wearing ModCloth

'Little Billy' Rhodes femulating in the 1926 film Oh, Baby!

Someday Funnies: What about the borrowed gaff?

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

David Tennant femulating on British television’s Rab C. Nesbitt. 
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Welcome

The first time I attended a support group meeting, I knew no one. The person running the group emailed me where the group’s meeting hall was located, but she was not in attendance, so I did not even have one person to lean on at the meeting.

To make matters worse, instead of welcoming a newcomer and trying to make me feel comfortable, I got the cold shoulder. After less than a half-hour, I got out of Dodge, drove home and swore that was my first and last support group meeting.

But I had to get out of the house en femme and even though the support group meeting hall was just another closet, it was a step out of the home closet, so I went back. And the second time, a couple of people talked with me and I started feeling more welcomed. 

It is likely that when a newcomer shows up at a support group meeting, it is her first time out of the home closet. She is probably very stressed out and needs all the help she can get. 

I never forgot that first meeting and I promised myself that whenever a newcomer showed up, I would go out of my way to welcome her and chat with her if she was so predisposed.

I made some long-time friends that way.

Wearing Boston Proper

Piotr Gawron-Jedlikowski femulating Magdalena Narozna on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar)

You can view the femulation on YouTube. 

Someday Funnies: And are those my high heels?

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Dustin Hoffman femulating in the classic femulating film Tootsie.

Saturday Shorts

Peter Scolari, who played Hildegarde on the crossdressing television series Bosom Buddies, died yesterday from cancer. He was only 66 years old!

👠 👠 👠

In her Friday post, Rhonda (of Rhonda's Escape fame) cited an article that explains how the Femulation Nation’s national anthem, Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” was inspired by crossdressers.

👠 👠 👠

See the “60 Best Halloween Costumes for 2021” at BestProducts dot com including a few that you can put together from items already in your and your loved one’s closets. 

Wearing Isabel Marant

Tom Hanks and the late Peter Scolari femulating in the television comedy Bosom Buddies.

My Traditional Halloween

In honor of our favorite holiday on October 31, I am reposting past Halloween posts on Fridays. The following repost is from October 2009.

My Halloween “costumes” in 1983 and 2017

When I attend a civilian Halloween event, I dress like a woman on the street (and I don’t mean a street-walker). For example, when there was a Halloween costume contest at work, I dressed in like an office girl trying to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, when I attend a trans Halloween event (like a support group Halloween party), I dress in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group’s past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dress in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dress as a woman. As a result, a “woman on the street” costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could dress in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

Dressing like a woman on the street rather than say a Playboy bunny, I might get fewer of those knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I get lots of those knowing looks anyway, but I’m not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with, “Normally, I only crossdress on weekends” and they don’t know what to say.

So dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, “who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume” never gets old.

I guess that dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That’s my story and I'm sticking to it!

Piotr Gawron-Jedlikowski femulating C.C. Catch on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar). You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Someday Funnies: Nobody’s Perfect

Wearing Venus

Sexo Frágil (Fragile Sex) is a television comedy from Brazil. I happened upon an episode on YouTube and I was fascinated with what I saw. All the roles, both male and female, are played by males. Their presentation as females is very good except that most of the girls speak in their boy voice. The four main characters (above) play both male and female roles. The other female roles are played by male actors who do not have a male counterpart like the four above. The program is in Portuguese, which I don’t comprehend, so I missed most of the humor. Despite the language barrier, I enjoyed all the excellent femulations.