Someday Funnies: Papa’s got a brand new bag

Wearing Madeleine

Femulate reader Lily

Woman at Work: What’s Normal?

In honor of our favorite holiday later this month, I will repost past Halloween posts on every Friday this month. 

The following repost is from November 1, 2012, the day after I made my first appearance at work en femme on October 31 without a safety net. My previous two Halloween appearances at work en femme (in 2000 and 2003) were under the guise of employer-sponsored Halloween costume contests. Halloween 2012, there was no contest – I was going in without cover and I’ll admit that it was a little scary. 

I was relieved that power was restored Tuesday night and I spent the evening getting things back in order after Hurricane Sandy blew through. (It’s amazing how quickly things get out of order when you lose electricity.)

It was bedtime when I finished and as I lay in bed, I realized that the next day was Halloween (and what was I going to do about it).

I had assumed that we would be without power for days. As a result, I did not prepare anything in advance for dressing up Halloween morning. But I wondered if I could I do it all in the morning and be out the door in time for work.

Considering everything I had to do, I determined that I could do it all if I got up early enough. So I set my alarm clock for 4:30 AM and I beat the clock waking at 4:15.

It had not occurred to me that making up every morning for a week at Fantasia Fair had accelerated my makeup routine. As a result, I was ready to go almost 30 minutes before I had to hoped for.

My wig was “Stacie” by Noriko, “a flirty hairstyle that has a wispy layered cut with flipped ends and swoop bangs.” My dress was the Ponte Heart Print Dress from Julian Taylor (via ideeli.com). Shoes were my old reliable black patent sling-back open-toe platforms; they are beginning to show their age, so it is time to find a new “old reliable.” “City beige” thigh-highs, black watch and bag and silver necklace and earrings completed my outfit.

To kill time, I styled my wig, then I decided to leave even though it was too early. It was raining hard and still dark, so I thought I could use the extra time to drive slower and safer.

When I arrived at work, there were two cars in the parking lot. I knew they belonged to co-workers who worked on the east side of our complex. That meant I would be the first person on the west side (first person turns on the lights and makes the first pot of coffee).

I did not have to run far (in heels) to dodge the rain because I was able to park in the closest spot to the entrance.

After I dropped my computer bag and purse in my cubicle, I used the ladies’ room to check my makeup, then I took a deep breath to face the day.

The kitchen is next to the restrooms, so I decided to start a pot of coffee first, then turn on the lights. Coffee brewing, I left the kitchen and the lights turned on; somebody beat me to it.

That somebody came around the corner, saw me, and greeted me as one would greet a stranger.

I said, “Happy Halloween,” but he was still clueless and continued on to his office.

As other people filed in, I greeted them and most figured out who I was because I was in or near my cubicle and my reputation proceeded me. Nonetheless, they were amazed at my appearance.

By the way, I went all out. I did not hold back in order to cling to any shred of my male self. I was certainly not a “man in a dress.”

When my boss arrived, I made a bee-line to her cubicle, saying “Happy Halloween” as I entered.

I took about a half minute before she recognized me and she was ecstatic. She checked me out and gushed over my appearance.

“He shaved his legs.”

“He even did his nails.”

“I hate him – he looks better than me.”

“I want your dress when you are done with it.”

She took my photo and emailed it to some of our colleagues in our other facilities. Throughout the morning, she brought people to my cubicle to show me off.

I never saw her act like this before. She was enjoying my femulation as much as I was.

My boss also suggested I play a trick on our president’s administrative assistant, so when she showed up, I went into her office and said, “I am the new hire for receptionist and you are supposed to train me.”

She was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.

Before it went any farther, I asked, “Do you know who I am?”

She shook her head “no,” so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She confessed that she really had no idea who I was nor that I was a male.

Returning to my cubicle, I heard the voice of a female co-worker who I have known for 16 years, so I paid her a visit.

“Happy Halloween,” I said as she looked up without any sign of recognition, then she recognized me. After she stopped gushing over me, she said that when she first saw me, she thought I was a former co-worker woman. She said the resemblance was striking.

At 10 AM, I had to attend a meeting (a “gemba”) concerning a new product. I walked into the middle of ten engineers standing in a circular fashion for the gemba, said “Happy Halloween” and they all smiled and took my appearance in stride except one engineer, who was shocked. A couple of the guys admitted afterword that until they heard my voice, they had no idea who I was.

Another friend asked if he could take my photo sitting in his cubicle. I gladly agreed, he took it with his smart phone and sent it to his wife claiming I was his new administrator.

After his wife learned the truth, she replied, “OMG!!!!!!! That is soooooo funny! He looks really good as a woman. I don't want her sitting in your cubicle.”

Five co-workers took my photo throughout the day and graciously emailed me copies.

One co-worker said he was “speechless,” then added, “You missed your calling... you should have been a female impersonator.”

During lunch, I drove to the nearby Lowe’s home improvement store to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed during the storm. I now had no trepidation about going to Lowe’s and I found my trip very revealing.

Whenever I go to Lowe’s or Home Depot in male mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. Today, I had a male Lowe’s employee practically at my beck and call. When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.

That’s the power of a short skirt and high heels!    

Speaking of high heels, I wore them all day long (over 9 hours) and my feet felt fine. I guess sitting about two-thirds of the day helped. I did bring flats just in case, but I only put them on when I drove home.

After Lowe’s, I visited Walmart to buy some pet food and coffee. I noticed a few gents checking me out, otherwise, the Walmart trip was uneventful.

I also stopped at Dress Barn and bought nothing after perusing the racks.

I returned to work, ate lunch and felt tired; the 4:15 AM wakeup was beginning to take its toll.

I visited the two women in Human Resources who know about me being transgender. The HR woman, who is approximately my age, was enthusiastic and said I looked “great,” while the 30-something HR woman acted as if nothing was unusual and said nothing about my appearance.

Another female co-worker I have known forever stopped by my cubicle in the afternoon and said I looked “sparkling.” She also commented that I looked better than she ever did even when she went to the prom. She wondered if anyone at work had busted “my chops” and I happily admitted that no one had.

Except for folks stopping by to look and/or take photos, the afternoon was quieter than the morning.

Overall, I had a great day at work en femme. Not a discouraging word was heard; instead, I received a lot of compliments.

This was my third Halloween at work en femme. The first two times were in 2000 and 2003. About one-third of my co-workers were with the company back then, so they are aware of my preference for women's wear on Halloween.

I assume a few co-workers suspect that there is more to it than Halloween, but no one has broached the topic with me. If they did, I would tell them the truth.   

Thursday morning, my boss saw me and remarked, “Thank, God, you're dressed normal today.”

I responded, “What's normal?”

Wearing Venus

George Hamilton femulating in the 1981 film Zorro: The Gay Blade.

Someday Funnies: Road to Provincetown

 

Wearing Venus

Eric Idle femulating (again) on an episode of television's Nearly Departed.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Ouch!

Monday, I took my wife to the doctor for her regular check-up. On the way home, we stopped at Rite Aid to pick up a drug that the doctor had prescribed. While we were there, I suggested that it would be an ideal time to get our annual flu vaccine and while we’re at it, might as well get the pneumonia and shingles vaccines, too.

By the time we returned home after the vaccinations, we both felt exhausted and our shingle vaccinated upper arms were swollen. I looked it up and this is normal, but we both felt lousy, did not sleep well and are still recovering one day later!

(The Johnson & Johnson coronavirus booster shot is not yet available, otherwise we would have opted for four shots, not three.)

Whereas the flu and pneumonia shots were free, the shingles vaccine is considered a prescription and falls under however your insurance handles prescriptions. In our case, it was $45 out of pocket for each shingles shot. Ouch!

UPDATE: I was out of my head when I put this post together yesterday and grabbed the wrong photo for the Femulator slot, so thank you all for pointing out the error of my ways. Today, I feel better (but not normal yet) after a crushing defeat of the Yankees by my boys in Boston and a good night’s sleep! 

Wearing Issue New York

Marc Warren femulating in the 2003 British television movie Reversals.

Someday Funnies: And Don’t Call Me “Stanley”

Wearing Elisabetta Franchi

Karl Davies femulating on a 2018 episode of British television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway: Private Investigators.

Trans Sisters at the Casino

Years before the pandemic, I went to the casino in boy mode for a family birthday party on Labor Day weekend.

The party arrived at the casino at about 1 PM and the festivities began with some pre-dinner gambling. I invested $40 in one slot machine and 30 minutes later, I walked away with $320.

The casino was crowded due to the long holiday weekend and it was difficult finding available slot machines to play. As a result, I did not lose much of my winnings and instead, used them to pick up the dinner tab.

We finished dinner at about 7 PM and it was now “high glam” time in the casino. Everywhere I looked, I saw women dressed to kill in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels. 

Among the glamorous women filing into the casino, I also noticed a few boys in evening gowns, cocktail dresses and their highest heels. Some of  “girls” were more glamorous than the girls.

My trans radar is pretty good and I am 99% sure that I detected my sisters en femme. And I am 100% sure about the ones who were using the men’s restroom!

(Thing is that here in Connecticut, “girls” can use the ladies’ room if they area presenting as girls, so go figure.)

Wearing Reese

Manuel Blanc femulating in the 2016 French film Where Horses Go to Die.
You can view a music video related to the film’s soundtrack on YouTube.

Someday Funnies: Like Father/Bambi, Like Son

Wearing Oscar De La Renta

Peter Alexander femulating in the 1961 Austrian film Die Abenteuer des Grafen Bobby.
You can view the film on YouTube.

The Way It Was Meant To Be

In honor of our favorite holiday later this month, I will repost past Halloween posts on every Friday this month. The following repost is from November 1, 2013, the day after I made my fourth (second consecutive) appearance at work en femme on October 31.

About 1 AM Thursday, I decided to stop celebrating the Red Sox World Championship and get some beauty rest (can’t get enough of that) because I planned to go to work en femme in the morning.

I woke up about 15 minutes before my alarm clock, got out of bed, fed the pets, shaved, showered and began doing my makeup. Putting on my face took about 30 minutes and putting on my clothes took about ten.

I wore my black Ellen Tracy dress with the sequins pattern at the neckline, nude thigh-high hosiery, “Love Fury” black patent platform pumps from Nine West, black Maskowsy bag and silver jewelry (Avon watch, Napier earrings and bracelet). It was about 40 degrees Fahrenheit outdoors, so I also wore my black Dress Barn sweater coat (note to self: fix the loose button on the coat before you lose it).

I will mention my unmentionables because some people want to know: Victoria's Secret black lace brief panties and “Bombshell” bra, a waist cincher that is so old that the brand name tag is unreadable and I don’t remember the brand, and a Bali Spanx-clone cami to smooth out my torso.

I fetched the newspapers and brought them in the house, which required walking up and down a 125-foot paved driveway in 4-1/2-inch heels while trying to negotiate the cracks and pivots in the pavement in semi-darkness. Who needs coffee to wake up! I completed the trip without incident.

I drove to work arriving at 7:50 AM. I drove standard transmission wearing my platform pumps with their 4-1/2-inch heels even though I had brought along a pair of sensible shoes just in case. I wore the platform pumps all day long and also drove home wearing them; my feet were none the worse at the end of the day.

Since my previous appearance at work en femme last Halloween, we have hired only one new person, our receptionist. When I pulled into the parking lot, she had just arrived and was getting out of her car. When she saw my car, she waved. There would be no fooling her, but she was very impressed with my femulation and admitted that if she had not seen my car, she would not have recognized me.

I unloaded my computer bag and handbag at my desk and went to the ladies’ room to check my hair and makeup. All was well, so I walked down the hall to visit the head of my department. She thought I looked great and liked my new wig better than the one I wore last year. She took some photos and another employee took a photo of the two of us standing side-by-side.

My boss was wearing a very nice figure-hugging dress and joked about me wearing a dress,  too (she knows I am transgender). While she was talking to me, she adjusted her underwear, which made an audible snap as she did. Was she wearing Spanx and more importantly, was she so comfortable with me as just another female that she felt free to do that? In response, I adjusted my Spanx-clone cami and it made a similar snapping sound. She began laughing hysterically after I did that.

In my rush to get ready for work, I forgot to bring a yogurt from home which I normally eat as I work through my overnight e-mails. So I went to the cafeteria which my company shares with another company next door. I encountered a handful of young people from the other company and no one paid me any mind.

I had not been in that cafeteria in years and the cash register was not where it used to be, so I asked a young man where it was and he responded to me as if he was talking to a lady, not another guy, that is, he was very respectful and spoke as if he was helping a lady in distress. It was very nice.

The morning went by quickly. Various co-workers stopped by to see my costume. Gals and guys alike said I looked great. And some of them also wore costumes, but I was the only boy in girl costume.

The vice president of engineering came by and said he is always amazed by my transformation. “I don't know how you do it,” he remarked.

The president of my division passed by and greeted me by my female nickname, Sandy, which my former boss had dubbed me last Halloween in honor of the hurricane.

Some other co-workers who I encountered during the day, just said “Good morning, Stan” and did not mention my costume.

My best friend at work, another diehard Red Sox fan, stopped by to celebrate our World Series victory and remarked that I looked “very pretty.”

During my lunch hour, I drove to the dry cleaner to pick up my dress. The fellow who waited on me when I left the dress earlier in the week was not around and a young woman waited on me. She asked me if I was picking up and I said I was picking up my dress.

She took my receipt, fetched the dress and I paid her. She was pleasant and I could not tell if she suspected anything about my gender.

Next stop was Stop & Shop to pick up some groceries. As I pushed my shopping cart into the store, a woman older than me gave me the once over. She had a husband in tow and I figure she was wondering how my outfit would look on him.

A few other women and a few guys also checked me out while I was shopping. No one smiled or smirked knowingly, so they were either impressed, seen it before or thought I was overdressed for Stop & Shop.

Actually, during lunch hour, there are always other women in the store dressed like me. There are corporate parks and medical offices nearby that are full of women dressed like me who buy groceries during lunch hour. In fact, I saw a young woman in very high heels wearing a flouncy skirted dress that I would die for. I was tempted to ask her where she bought the dress, but she was heading out the exit.

I did ask a middle-aged women where she bought the Red Sox World Championship sweatshirt she was wearing. She pointed out to me that it was an old shirt from the 2007 World Championship, not this year’s, but that she hoped to get a new World Championship  shirt soon.

I finished shopping and found a cash register without a line. The cashier was a woman who I had cashed out with before. In the past when I cashed out in boy mode, she was cold, efficient and business-like. On Thursday when I cashed out in girl mode, she was as friendly as can be!

I returned to work, ate lunch, and noticed that the lack of sleep was starting to catch up with me. The afternoon went by slowly and ended with an interesting encounter.

One of our lab technicians walked by my cubicle slowly checking me out as she passed by. Then she turned around and did it again in the opposite direction. Obviously, someone had told her to find my cubicle and check me out. She then studied the name plate outside my cubicle and asked, “Are you Stan?”

I said, “Yes.”

She looked confused. So I switched eyeglasses from my readers to the bifocals she was more likely to see me wearing.

She said, “I still don't recognize you!”

It was time to go home, but I did not want the day to end because this was the way it was meant to be.

Wearing Bebe

Cliff Nazarro and Chick Chandler femulating in the 1941 film Sailors On Leave.

Someday Funnies: Quid Pro Quo in Veste Feminea

Wearing Balmain (blazer)

Dave Foley en femme in the Halloween episode of television’s NewsRadio.

You can view a clip from this episode on YouTube.

Quietly Outing Myself

Actions speak louder than words

The only time I deliberately outed myself was when I decided to attend Hamvention as a woman after becoming a “ham radio legend” as a man. As I had at past Hamventions, I would be representing two ham radio organizations (one a national organization, the other an international organization), so I felt that it was necessary to inform the leaders of each organization of my plans.

In retrospect, I should not have been surprised that they accepted the news and were extremely supportive. They had known me for many years and probably assumed that the only thing that would change would be a change of clothes.

At my day job, I showed up at work as a professional woman seven Halloweens (the last five Halloweens consecutively). Each time, I went all out and never appeared as a “man in a dress.”

First time, I assumed that my co-workers gave me the benefit of the doubt for my excellent femulation (his wife probably assisted in his transformation). The second through seventh Halloweens, I assumed that my co-workers suspected that there might be more to it than my wife’s skills. In fact, my wife never assisted in my femulations except to purchase some “girly gifts” and to offer me advice (“Your skirts too short!”)

All benefits of doubt were off when post-retirement, I was invited to my former employer’s Christmas party and showed up en femme. 

I never outed myself to any co-worker except my supervisor, manager and Human Resources and that was just to cover my derriere in case my ham radio world somehow got mixed up with my day job. 

If a co-worker ever asked me what was going on, I would have told them, but no one ever asked. Even the framed photo on my desk of me in office girl drag (photo above) did not move anyone to ask. But I think I did not give my co-workers enough credit – I believe they figured me out, but respected me and did not want to mention (the obvious?).

Post-retirement, I had a girl’s night out with my former supervisor, manager and the CEO’s executive assistant, Jackie. As I mentioned above, I had previously came out to my supervisor and manager, but not to Jackie, who was a big fan of my Halloween femulations. So while we were chatting at the restaurant, I asked Jackie if she knew I was trans and her response was “Of course!”

And so it goes.

Wearing Peter Do

Charles Hawtrey and Albert Burton femulating in the 1939 British film Jail Birds.