Fashion Model Stana

Readers commented favorably on the (Out and) About sidebar photo of “Fashion Model Stana,” so here is an excerpt from my book Fantasia Fair Diaries describing what happened on the occasion of that photograph. 

On Tuesday of Fantasia Fair week...

I attended a practice session for the fashion show. Yes, I am modeling in the annual Fantasia Fair Fashion Show before an audience of civilians and trans-people alike and it should be the thrill of my lifetime (up to now). The girls running the fashion show walked us through the routine of walking down the catwalk, etc. The first step from the stage to the catwalk is a doozy, so I plan to take it slow in my killer heels! The fashion show is Wednesday night and it should be a lot of fun!

On Wednesday of Fantasia Fair week...

I returned to my room and relaxed for an hour, then went to fashion show practice with my highest high heels in tow. (We were supposed to bring the highest heels we planned to wear for the show to the practice.) I had not worn these shoes before (the silver sequins platform sandals from Payless) and I was surprised how comfortable they were.

Everyone took a turn or two walking on stage and down the catwalk. After practice, I returned to my room to get ready for the show.

We were told to apply our makeup on the heavy side because the stage lights would wash out our faces if all we had on was a normal application of makeup. So I used black and dark grays to do my eyes, bright reds for my lips, and heavy on the blush.

After making up my face, I left my hotel room and walked downstairs to the site of the fashion show (the fashion show venue was in my hotel).

The dressing room for the fashion show models was not a dressing room per se; it was actually the room used for the Fair’s keynote addresses and other presentations. As a result, the facilities were not very good for dressing. We had to drape our stuff over the chairs in the room.

Later, a clothing rack showed up, but by then, my stuff was in such a disarray that the arrival of the rack did not matter.

I wore the first outfit I planned to model to the show, so I was ready to go while other models were dressing.

A photographer working on The Gender Photo Project had a portable studio set up in the dressing room near where I had plopped my stuff. The photographer asked me if I wanted to pose for a photo for the project and of course, I agreed. 

During the photoshoot, the photographer mentioned that I resemble Norway’s most famous crossdresser, Esben “Esther Pirelli” Benestad. I never heard of Benestad, but I was familiar with a film she appeared in: Alt om min far (All About My Father), which is a true story about a transvestite, who seeks his son’s acceptance.

Nigel Dickson had his photography equipment set up at the opposite end of the room. Nigel is the photographer working on a Fantasia Fair book and it turns out that he has taken photos of many famous people.

While I was still enjoying the afterglow from my first photoshoot, Nigel came over and asked me if I would pose for him. I joked with some of the other models saying, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.”

Turns out I was the first subject that Nigel photographed! After he took a few shots, he thanked me and promised to e-mail me a copy of the photo later.

The actual fashion show was now becoming an afterthought!

I was the fifth model of 23 models to go up the catwalk and I was on and off the stage very quickly. With floodlights shining in my face, loud music blaring, and the MCs making comments, the experience became a blur, but I do remember one of the MCs asking me if I was now ready for a New York City catwalk. I responded, “You betcha” in my best Alaskan accent and I got a big laugh from the audience.

Speaking of the audience, it was not a full house. I assume the lousy weather (cold and raining) kept down the crowd, but the audience that did show up was very enthusiastic and cheered each model loudly.

Wearing the black velvet evening gown from my friend Patty Marino’s collection, second time up was the same as the first... a blur, but the MC asked me to walk the walk twice (something they only asked a few models to do), so I must have been doing something right.

There was a party after the fashion show, but the weather was so miserable, I did not want to walk to the party venue, so I skipped it and went to bed.

From the Health Dept.

Wednesday, I saw my surgeon for a followup to my inguinal hernia repair surgery. 

The doctor confirmed my suspicion that my sore throat was caused by the anesthetic tube put down my throat during surgery and that it would heal itself quickly. He recommended lozenges to ease any discomfort.

He also said I was good to go and can start lifting handbags greater than 50 pounds!

Wearing Le Redoute

During my recovery from surgery, I watched some films and one that I found very interesting (not to mention,a little weird) was a 2019 British film titled Into the Mirror. It stars Jamie Bacon, who is femulating in the above photo from the film. I highly recommend the film to Femulate readers. It is only an hour long and you can view it for free on YouTube.

Someday Funnies

Wearing A.L.C. dress and Gia Couture shoes

Yusuf Sezgin and Sadri Alisik femulating in the 1970 Turkish film Fistik Gibi.

You can view the film on YouTube.

Angela Working En Femme, Part 2

By Angela Booth

This is Part 2 of Angela’s work experience en femme. Click here to read Part 1.

 I was so comfortable working en femme, I decided I to look for a job and see how the applications went. I checked out vacancies and one took my fancy. It was an administrative role with a local authority. Local authorities are committed to diversity, so I had a look at the application form. I completed it in my legal name. There was a box to say the name you were known as. I think this is a general request as there are people, apart from transitioning, who have a complex name and are know by another. I supplied all the information, but there was nowhere to expand on my circumstances, so I added a cover letter and sent it off. 

I had the usual acknowledgement mail and then an invite for an interview. I started to outthink a simple request to attend an interview. Were they doing it to tick diversity boxes and would I be looked at as a freak with all the staff being told and staring at me? I turned up dressed appropriately and was taken to the interview by a lovely girl There were two female interviewers who had their Q and A sheets in front of them. The interview was conducted very professionally and then I was given a tour of the offices. Everyone was working away and it went well. I knew that I had flunked a couple of questions, but felt it went well for my first interview crossdressed. 

I got a phone call from one of the ladies a week later.  I didn’t get the job and the flunked questions were the reason. She said I had presented well and did impress them.

That was a great experience and I made a decision that I would apply for other jobs in the same way when the shop closed. I applied for three jobs and completed the applications with the covering letter. I was invited for interviews for all of them. Each went as the first did. One I didn’t like, so I said I wouldn’t take the role if offered. 

One, working in a shop, I accepted. My legal identity was kept confidential at head office and any communications and identity was in my femme name. The staff and customers accepted me as one of the girls and it was a nice job. However, due to the business climate, this shop was also in trouble as was a lot of retail. 

We were usually a minimum staff and the future was uncertain. My colleagues were becoming unsettled and the atmosphere changed. I decided to jump ship and look for something more stable. I went to a job fair and there was a company in the care sector. I spoke with the people there and filled an application, then arranged an interview. My previous experience was perfect for them and after security checks, I was offered the job. 

I have been there over two years now. I have had various clients and their families to work with and it has gone well. I plan to stay there until I decide to fully retire. 

I consider myself very lucky as the laws here in the UK afford me equal rights, but the whole process started with coming out to a friend. I have my female identity. My bank has taken my title from my cards so, it only shows initial and surname. They can’t change my name unless I provide evidence of an official name change. I applied for a credit card from another company many years ago in my male name and, a couple of years later, asked for one in my femme name on the same account. I got it! That was before money laundering became a thing and this would not be possible now without more personal information, but my card was not recalled. 

I have joined some organizations in my name. My doctor is aware and I have seen the doctor crossdressed. I also had to go to my dentist crossdressed as a work consultation over ran and I had no choice. I couldn’t lose the appointment, so went with a sore tooth and fingers crossed. After a bit of astonishment, to say that it went well was an understatement. The first thing they did was to ask how I wanted to be addressed and changed the records accordingly and I was flattered with the compliments. 

I also went for an eye test giving my femme details. My date of birth was given along with my address. I get free tests due to my age. There were no questions asked. However, when I was being tested, the practitioner looked at my records and referred to treatment some years back. They knew who I was, but did not make an issue of it and treated me accordingly.

I admit, again, I have been lucky as the decisions I have made have led me to where I am today. I never planned it but, as little femulator, I did dream of this and now it is a reality over 50 years later.

Patience is a virtue and a nice girl’s name, too!

Aches and Pains Dept.

My recovery from the inguinal hernia repair surgery has been rapid. I felt so good yesterday that I took my first hike in the woods since late June and felt fine after 0.83 miles climbing over hill and dale.

My only complaint is my throat. It was fine before surgery, but I woke up after surgery with a mild sore throat, which got much worse as time marched on. It is much better today. 

I assume the tube they inserted down my throat for the anesthesia caused the problem. I will mention it to my surgeon when I go for my followup appointment today. 

Wearing Paige

Harry Tracey femulating on stage in the 1948 annual presentation of The Gang Show.

Someday Funnies

Wearing New York & Company

Out and about, two femulators exit the theater presenting Mae West’s play The Pleasure Man after the police shut it down, October 2, 1928.

Angela’s Angle on Working En Femme

By Angela Booth

It was nice to read the experiences of Gabi about coming out at work. There are so many complications for a femulator to decide to do this, such as family, type of job, the employers attitude and so on. 

When I changed my career over 20 years ago, I was established in my dressing going out regularly and quite open to some family and friends. I was very content with my lot and didn’t really think I would go further. The work I did was the type that would not be conducive to being dressed. 

After time on the job, I knew that my employer would be supportive and I would be accommodated. I could have announced my intentions and the process would start, but I would have to take a different role. I enjoyed what I did, so I kept the status quo.

Many years in, I had made many friends at work and decided to come out to one girl I worked with. I decided to meet up for a coffee, as we did on occasion, but this time I told her there was something I wanted to tell her. I turned up dressed and she immediately embraced me and was a great support. From her, others were told and we would meet up and things were good.  This event led to something unexpected some years later.

The friend’s husband was in business running a shop. My friend decided to open another shop next door as an outlet for her hobby and employed a couple of girls. One meetup, we were chatting about our jobs and what we would do when retired, which was only a year away for me. I hadn’t made any plans, but she asked if I had wanted to work as Angela. 

I had thought about it, but didn’t know whether it would work out and was put off by my perceived complications. She then said that she would be happy for me to work in the shop on my days off to see how it went. Her staff would be fine as they had met me when I visited. I took up the offer and did some shifts.

As you can imagine I was quite nervous at first as I would be meeting the public and maybe a colleague who didn’t know. I worked with the manager and it went really well. I grew in confidence and really enjoyed the work. I can honestly say I had no issues and felt really comfortable. 

I did this for some months and then fate took a twist. Right on the date of my retirement, the manager left to move away. My friend offered me the job. I didn’t want full-time, so she looked to employ a co-worker and even asked me to do the interviews! The lady I chose is still a friend today.

I was now working four days a week. It was a joy and even if an old colleague came in and recognized me, I got nothing but praise. Things were going well, but due to the business climate, the foot traffic was down and the business was in trouble. My friend was open and honest and said the shop was closing. I had to make a decision as to what to do for work.

Stay tuned for the rest of Angela’s story.

Wearing Venus

Since the pandemic upset the apple cart, most of my photos have been taken in the bedroom of my home. (Boring!) Tired of the same old, same old, I decided to put my Photoshop skills to work. Using those same old bedroom photos, I mated them with background photos that are in abundance on the Internet. The photo above is the result of my handiwork. Looks pretty good if I say so myself!

Someday Funnies

Wearing Wigs at Piggly Wiggly!

Wearing Boston Proper

Cary Grant femulating in the 1949 film I Was A Male War Bride, which in my opinion, represents one of the worst film femulations by a major star in film history.

Finding Herself in New Orleans

By Paula Gaikowski

Stana’s recent post about New Orleans jarred my memory and made me think of a New Orleans encounter I had back in 1977.

I was stationed at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi, in 1977 and it was an easy weekend trip to New Orleans for young airmen. The French Quarter was still filled with jazz bands and an eclectic mix of people from all over the country who came to find refuge from intolerance in their home towns.

Five of us crammed into a tiny Mercury Capri and headed to New Orleans for the weekend. We started to make the rounds Saturday night and ended up at Gunga Den, which to my surprise and well-hidden delight featured female impersonators. 

After one drink and a few curious looks, my buddies decided to leave. They were off to seek the company of members of the world’s oldest profession. I opted out and inconspicuously made my way back to Gunga Den to watch the show. These were girls who were on HRT, their bodies soft, curvy and feminine. As others watched in lust, I watch transfixed with envy, amazement and awe. This was the first time I actually saw a transgender person. This was real, it was possible, it could be. 

After the show I talked with a girl named Angel, who was from Indiana and was kicked out of the house by her father after being caught several times crossdressing. She told me her story, which is familiar to most of us – a little boy who just wanted to be a girl and tried to fit in. 

When she was 10 years old, she was admonished by her mother for trying on her clothes and using her makeup. Her teenage years were filled with crossdressing, confusion and domestic abuse. After graduating high school, things boiled over, so she visited a friend who had went to school in New Orleans. In the French Quarter she found a job tending bar and the kindred spirits at Gunga Den. 

I took in every word of her story as if she were a prophet. She was first person I ever met who was like me – a person from my home planet who spoke my language.

People didn’t come out as transgender in 1977. The word didn’t even exist then, but for the first time in my life, I could admit to another person my secret – that I wanted to be a woman. So just before leaving, I said, “Angel I am just like you.”

She smiled knowingly and replied, “You’re not alone.” 

I left Gunga Den and wandered the streets of the French Quarter finding sanctuary from the roaming ne’er-do-wells. I watched the sun rise over the Mississippi River, while running through my mind were thoughts of fear, hope and possibility. I couldn’t find my buddies, but met up with another group of airmen from Keesler who gave me a ride back to base.

I had a lot to think about – and still do.

Wearing New York & Company

Professional femulators performing at New Orleans’ Gunga Den, circa 1975

Someday Funnies

Wearing Johanna Ortiz

Dee takes a selfie while shopping at Nordstrom.
Click here to read about Dee's adventures out and about.

Update

The surgery went well yesterday. I was in the hospital from 8 AM to 3 PM. Operation lasted about 90 minutes. The rest of the time was spent prepping and unprepping. 

Doctor said my hernia was “big.” There are now three tiny wounds on my stomach where the robot ports were located. Except for the soreness around the port holes, I have no pain. 

Next week I go see the doctor for a follow-up and then I am good to go femulating again.

A Rose by Any Other Name

Tommy Dorfman

Another “celebrity” came out as trans: actress Tommy Dorfman, who came out as a transgender woman.

“I am a trans woman. My pronouns are she/her. My name is Tommy.”

What struck me was that she retained her male first name, Tommy, rather than adopting a female name.

When I started crossdressing, I did not adopt a female name. I did not even consider it. It never came up (and why would it since my crossdressing was closeted).

Only when I joined Genderline, the crossdresser group on CompuServe, did I adopt a femme name. And I only did so because the male-to-female crossdressers on Genderline had adopted female names. In retrospect, it made sense for my personal security back then (circa 1977) because I was still closeted and out to nobody. 

Fast forward four decades and I am out to almost everybody. And a lot of those people are civilians who knew be by my male name before they knew me as trans. Most of them don’t even know my femme name and still call me by my male name.

In this day and age, parents are naming their newborn girls with names that were previously considered male names, for example, Jesse, Taylor, Austin, Jordan, etc. According to Babycenter, even “Stanley” is a girl name, as well as a boy name – not a popular girl name, but a girl name nonetheless. So I feel motivated to jettison “Stana” and start going by “Stanley” full-time and complete the circle. 

Wearing Venus

Rianna modeling in a fashion show in the Lindale Mall in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus

Sir Cecil Beaton