Coming Out to a Male

Ready to meet my male friends for
the first time as a woman (May 2010)

Eleven years ago, I came out to a friend, who I had known for over 15 years and lived 2500 miles away. Except for one or two face-to-face encounters at ham radio conferences each year, all our communications were by e-mail. The next conference I attended would be en femme and I wanted to alert him beforehand.

In anticipation of coming out, I composed a 500-word letter of explanation. I copied the words into a blank e-mail, made a few changes, then I stared at the Send button for a few hours. I did not actually stare at the Send button all that time, but for over three hours, I did consider whether or not to send the e-mail.

It was a tough decision. In the past, I have come out to friends and acquaintances who have known me for a long or short time, but all of them were women. I found it very easy to come out to women. I guess because I am telling them that I am on their team.

Men were not so easy. Just encountering men when I was en femme gave me pause; coming out to a man was unthinkable. My friend would be the first male friend or acquaintance I would come out to.

I finally realized that I had to tell him, so I hit the Send button and girded myself for his reply. I was so worried about his response that I did not check my e-mails the rest of the afternoon. Finally, after dinner, I looked for his reply, found it and opened it.

He wrote, “Thank you for the e-mail. I am sure it was hard to send. But rest assured, you have my respect and support. I think it is best that a person be true to themselves, and you are doing just that. You go girl!”

He floored me with “You go girl!” Now, that’s a real friend!

By the way, in the ensuing 11 years, my coming outs have had such good outcomes that I now think nothing of coming out to males, as well as females from my past. Some people are surprised, some not so much, but either way, I have never had a negative reaction. On the contrary, most reactions are very positive just like my friend above.

Wearing Veronica Beard

Victor McDoom

(The Best of) Someday Funnies

Wearing BGL

Three twenty-something femulators

Womanless Beauty Pageants

By Jasmine

I have discovered on various other sites the phenomenon known as the Womanless Beauty Pageant (WBP). Males of all ages, but the contestants seem to be predominantly boys of school age and younger, parade about in pretty dresses and heels and wear wigs and makeup in the hope of winning a tiara and sash.

The vast majority of them look very convincing as girls!

What a truly wonderful concept and what a great way to get boys into femininity! The hardest obstacle – initially getting a boy to wear anything that he associates as being girly – is overcome with gentle encouragement and the assurance that he won’t be the only boy wearing a dress. 

Once the boy is fully dressed up as a beauty queen, he will soon get used to the strange experience of suddenly having a skirt swishing around his legs, balancing and wobbling in high heels, having long hair, wearing clinking, pretty jewelry and wearing cosmetics and even find it fun, especially once he joins the other “ladies” and compares how he looks alongside them.

He will find out that he can be as pretty and feminine as any girl and will gain an insight into femininity. He may, hopefully, want to enjoy the experience again and, overcoming his embarrassment and male pride, be brave enough to ask his mother to furnish him with a new wardrobe for him to explore and appreciate his girlish nature. 

Boys (and men) of all ages should be actively encouraged to take part in a WBP. This is a great way to begin to get males to become more feminine and will perhaps give the significant females in their lives, seeing how pretty their men and boys can be with a little effort, ideas about keeping them that way! 

As far as I can see, the WBP was born and is practiced in the USA at present, but I hope that the WBP will soon be imported to the UK, Europe and the rest of the world. Imagine how much better the world would be with males concentrating on trying to be Miss World rather than trying to dominate the world. 

I for one would love to take part in one when they arrive over here and will happily put on my gown and high heels.

(This post originally appeared in Jasmine's blog, Gender Role Reversal.)

Wearing New York & Company

Eamon Farren femulating in the Australian television-film Carlotta.
You can view the entire film on YouTube (I highly recommend it).

I Like Honey

Honey Caroline, professional femulator

Over a year ago, I mentioned that I use Honey, an app that works with your web browser. Whenever you are ready to pay for an online purchase, Honey interrupts the transaction and automatically searches for any applicable coupon codes. It invariably finds free shipping and usually finds other applicable coupon savings, too. I saved a lot of money since I began using Honey and I highly recommend it to anyone who shops regularly online. 

In addition, there is Honey Gold, which are reward points you rack up while shopping at some of your favorite online stores. 

To tell you the truth, I did not pay much attention to Honey Gold. I noticed that I was collecting reward points after certain online purchases, but I did not think much about it until I received an email informing me that I had over 7000 points and that I ought to consider redeeming the points for gift cards. Each 1000 points garnered a $10 gift card, so I redeemed 7000 points and received a $70 Amazon gift card! Sweet!

You too can save money on your purchases and collect reward points. Just click on this link to accept my invitation to join Honey and you will be able to save money online, too.

Zach Villa (left) femulating in the 2015 film Honeyglue.

(The Best of) Someday Funnies

Wilson Cruz (right) femulating in a 1997 episode of television's Ally McBeal

Someday Funnies

Wearing The Line By K (dress) and Gia Couture (shoes)

The Mosconi Brothers, circa 1920

Going to the Prom

It is prom season, a time when many a young femulator’s heart is all a flutter thinking about the pretty prom gowns he won’t be able to wear to his high school’s spring formal.

In high school, I did not date much. I interacted easily with girls on a day-to-day basis, but when it came to dating, I did not interact successfully.

Looking back, I realize that interacting with girls was easy because I was feminine. However, dating girls was difficult because I had to act like a male and that was so foreign to me that I was lousy at it.

When I attended my high school’s prom, my sister had to set me up with her best friend as my date. That date went fine because I already knew my sister’s friend well; it was as if we were two girls out on a date. The only problem was that one girl had to dress like a boy. I wore a white tux and that was probably a good thing because back then, I was about 50 pounds heavier than I am now. Squeezing into a prom gown would not have been a pretty sight, but I am sure my mother would have sewn me something dreamy to wear and would have had me fitted with the proper foundation garments so that I would be voluptuous in her creation. Of course, it did not happen, but I dreamed about it nonetheless.

Times have changed. As Ray Davies once sang, “Boys will be girls and girls will be boys” and today, at some of the more progressive schools in our nation, girls do wear tuxedos to proms and boys do wear gowns.

Lucky kids!

Wearing Bebe

Professional femulator Jean Pierre Rene at the Juan-les-Pins club in Paris. 1956

(The Best of) Someday Funnies

Wearing JustFab

Alan Cumming femulating in the UK television series The Runaway.

How Do I Know

Samantha Riedel

I just read an excellent them. article by Samantha Riedel, which is “A guide to questions I asked myself when I began to wonder if I was transfeminine — and questions you may ask yourself, too.”

The article addresses questions that many of us have/had. Here are a couple of pertinent quotes from the article. 

“Clothing is as gendered as we want it to be, and as much as I love skirts and skater dresses, I've never stopped being comfortable in good old denim jeans and a dorky graphic tee. Anyone who tells you that you need to present a certain way for your gender to be valid has way weirder ideas about what constitutes gender than any trans person. If cis women get to be butch, so do us transfems. That's it, the end, have fun.

“There's no wrong way to be trans or nonbinary; if you feel like those words approximate what you're feeling, then run with it. The only person who gets to decide your gender, and what that means, is you.”

I highly recommend reading Samantha's article.

(Thank you, Velma, for the relay.)

Wearing Tina

A “wedding tableau” full of pretty femulators in Sydney, Australia, circa 1930

(The Best of) Someday Funnies

Wearing En Saison

Ali Monterrosas, male womenswear model