Bad News and Good News

By Paula Gaikowski

Last week, there was bad news for transgender persons and there was good news. 

First the good news, the House passed the Equality Act, a bill that would extend basic rights to the LGBTQ community. It just needs to get past the Senate with 60 votes where I am sure it’s in for a fight. Ironically the overwhelming majority of Americans are in favor of the law (many assume that LGBTQ already have these protections).

If you walk down the hallway in the Capitol, you will see the transgender flag proudly displayed in front of the office of Congresswoman Marie Newman. The congresswoman put it there in support of her 20-year-old transgender daughter.

Now for the bad news, Congresswoman Marjorie Greene reacted to the flag by posting a transphobic sign meant to appeal to people’s fears and prejudices in the culture war that the GOP stokes daily in their only hope of gaining the electorate.

The sign she posted reads, “There are only two genders, Trust the science.”

There are so many things wrong with that statement besides just being hurtful and hateful.

1. Gender is a social construct, not biological. Ironically, after denigrating science when it comes to climate change and the pandemic, Greene uses science as a tool, although incorrectly.

2. Greene probably was referring to biological sex. However, it is scientifically evident that intersex persons exist. A common argument amongst transphobic people is that you are either XX or XY chromosomed and that defines your sex and gender absolutely. Intersex persons are much more common than one would think. Here’s a list of famous intersexed persons.

3. Her statement that there are only two genders is also incorrect. Let us not forgot the non-binary members of our community. Our culture has predominately recognized two genders, male and female and that Ms. Greene, is where most of us transgender persons struggle. We struggle with being the wrong biological sex and along with our biology, we are assigned a social gender. Gender and sex are two different things and transgender persons struggle with both.

All of this illustrates how far we have come in the battle for transgender rights, but also how far we must go. When I think back to my 20’s, the idea that a congressperson would plant the transgender flag on Capitol Hill and be advocating for her transgender daughter was a distant dream. Add to it the fact that being transgender is no longer a tabloid curiosity, but common in all our communities. 

Wherever you are in your journey, whether closeted or transitioned, remember not to be afraid to advocate for our community. It’s time to speak up and defend transgender people by showing our support. We can object to rude jokes and stereotypes, correct persons misconceptions and support gay and transgender colleagues. We need to take a stand and show acceptance and support for transgender persons and make transphobic behavior socially unacceptable.

Wearing London Times

Mateusz Jakubiec femulated Lene Nystrøm Rasted (Aqua) on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Gal Friday

By Paula Gaikowski

“Gal Friday” is a female assistant, who is capable of many different types of tasks. Today, the term can be considered outdated and sexist. So today, “Gal Friday” is when on any given Friday, one becomes a gal. Let me tell you it was the latter and long overdue.

After a year without dressing fully, I had the house to myself for the next two weeks as my wife, with whom I have a DADT arrangement, flew south. She does give me time to get my girl on, but it’s hard to relax and enjoy when I know she’ll be home in two to three hours. There is also knowing that she just doesn’t like it and never will. There’s that implied sense of disapproval that hangs there unsaid, but is still evident. So two weeks of self-expression is just what the doctor ordered. (I actually wrote a column about that a few years back, “Doctor’s Orders.”)

I dropped her off at the airport on Thursday and stopped on the way home for a pedicure. The manicurist at the nail salon in small town Maine didn’t bat an eye when I asked her for a French pedicure. I told her I was transgender and wanted to look nice when I went out. I also did some outreach, told her my story and she shared that her friend has a transgender daughter.

I am amazed at the awareness and acceptance people have these days compared to 2008 when I first started going out. Back in 2008, I was given cold receptions at clothing shops and wig salons a few times. They made it clear, I wasn’t really welcomed. 

Sales associates now understand what it means to be transgender and are empathic. I haven’t had a bad experience since 2008 and the last few years, I feel as if we are now just part of the modern culture. 

The rest of Thursday was body maintenance day and fashion prep.

I got up Friday morning excited. I dressed in my favorite skirt and top, then put on makeup, perfume, fixed my hair and slipped into my favorite pair of pumps. I was filled with such positive emotions and energy. I felt 20 years younger.

Then I prepared for a busy days of Zoom meetings and reports. The day flew by. I stopped a few times to freshen my makeup and fix my hair. It was healing to see lipstick stains on my flowered coffee cup as I ran over the latest training plan for new products. I kept my camera off, but there was a part of me that just wanted to turn it on and say, “Hey there, world. This is who I am.” Maybe someday soon. 

The day ended too quickly. I stayed in my gal clothes, made dinner, had a glass of wine and with the snow falling outside, I lit a fire and drifted off dreaming of...

Wearing Wayf

Femulators

Surprise!

Breaking Bad Dept.

As you may recall, I took a break from the blog last week. I did not have the energy to blog (or do much else) because I was ill. 

I thought it was a minor thing and I waited all week long for it to go away. When it did not, my family insisted I go see a doctor where I learned, surprise, I have shingles!

I am over the hump and the rash is slowly going away. I just hope that I don’t have any long-term problems.

Shingles sure puts a damper on crossdressing! Any clothing that touches the rash can cause pain, so the looser the clothing, the better. I won’t be donning any foundation garments or bodycon dresses for awhile.

Who Wore It Better Dept.

On a lighter note, the blazer dress that Tina Fey wore while hosting the Golden Globe Awards Sunday evening reminded me of the blazer dress I wore at the last Hamvention.

Wearing New York & Company

Noël Czuczor femulated Cher on Slovakian television's Tvoja Tvar Znie Povedome.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

A Level Playing Field?

By Gina

I recently read there is currently a ruckus going on in the rugby world, as a result of transgender players being informed by the sport’s ruling body that they cannot take part in the women’s version of the game. That gives me an opportunity to look at similar situations over the years, where the sporting status quo has been changed as a result of developments in the greater scheme of things:

When talented amateur tennis player Dr Richard Raskind had Gender Reassignment Surgery in the 1970’s, as Renée Richards (s)he she put the cat amongst the pigeons by entering women’s professional tournaments. Along with other physical advantages, at over 6 feet tall she had a head-start over most of her rivals (ho ho). In the end her advanced age did for her as a singles competitor (her male peers had long-since retired), and as such she failed to give the likes of Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova sleepless nights. But suppose she had been in her physical prime, where as such she might well have blasted them into oblivion? And despite her belated entry into the arena, she still managed to reach the ladies doubles finals of a major tournament (where ironically one of her genetic opponents was nearly as tall and physically-imposing as she was)!

When I was in my mid-30’s I considered myself to be a decent badminton player, if a somewhat rusty and out-of-shape one at that point. As such I challenged a teenaged female acquaintance of mine who had already played at regional if not national level to a match. I couldn’t beat her, but once I got her gauge managed to take one game to a tie-break. Which makes me wonder in retrospect how I might have fared had I taken the same route as Ms. Richards? To put that in context: a few years later I joined a local club a few years later and my form and fitness improved as a result. But as a male player, I still less chance of being picked for the club’s league team than flying to the moon.

In the 70’s and 80’s, those of us in this parish were privileged to have what were regarded as three of the greatest middle-distance runners of all time in Messrs. Coe, Cram and Ovett. However, they competed in an era when the sport was still officially amateur, and thus potential rivals from much poorer parts of the world had no funding or incentive to challenge. But once the sport went professional not long afterwards, hardly surprisingly athletes from third world countries in central Africa and elsewhere started coming out of the woodwork and cashing in accordingly – to the point where they now completely dominate. As such, our fastest current middle-distance specialist (who ironically has just bettered the PB’s of said legendary trio) probably has as much chance of winning an Olympic gold medal as I had making my badminton club’s league team.

The point I am trying to make from the above examples is that once the goalposts are moved, then in sporting terms it can lead to a “cuckoo in the nest” syndrome. In terms of transsexualism I would say that is particularly prevalent, as nowadays not only are GRS procedures far more commonplace, but many parts of the world are now also comparatively more tolerant of transpersons than before – even those who have not gone “all the way”. Another sign of the times is that many women now compete in sports such as football and rugby (even at a professional level in some cases) that were previously exclusively a male preserve, and it seems that some younger transsexuals want a bite at that cherry too.

For what it’s worth: even if I were a sportingly-gifted transgender woman in my physical prime, I would not be interested in participating at a professional sporting level with the bio variety.* For one thing, you can be assured that any plans to merge seamlessly into society as a female will go completely down the toilet. Plus I really do not think it is fair on genetic women anyway. But perhaps as a result of being more high-profile now (not to mention more lucrative!), it seems many disagree.

So does that mean it should be accepted that trans women compete against those of the genetic variety? Presumably due at least in part to the easy availability of processed food and fitness clubs these days, the latter are physically bigger and stronger than their forebears (in my youth I was considered to be of average male height, but these days am probably now more-akin to average female height!). Yet despite that, it wouldn’t surprise me if they still lost out in an arm-wrestling contest to a transsexual gobbling down hormones like a corn-fed chicken. 

Getting back on track: of course the debate also rages on over genetically intersexed athletes cleaning up in the female middle-distance events these days, with the sport’s authorities trying to impose a testosterone-limiting regime on those concerned in order to avoid making it a procession and thus a mockery. So bearing all the above in mind: should there now be a third “inbetweenie” gender classification in professional sport? If so, then perhaps the athlete formerly known as Bruce Jenner might be tempted to come out of retirement?

* On a “friendly” amateur level, as a transgender sportsperson I would derive far more pleasure from beating a man at badminton than a woman!

Source: Rue La La

Arsenio Hall femulating in the 1988 film Coming to America.

Someday Funnies

 

Wearing Boston Proper

Vesna Prague

Dressing up like a girl

By Paula Gaikowski

Recently relocated and retired with a pandemic thrown in to boot, my wife has been struggling to make new friends. Lucky her lifelong friend Mary lives close by and it was the bubbly and vivacious Mary who suggested that they join a group of breakfast club women who met every other Saturday.

They meet for brunch at an upscale venue. It was my wife’s first time out in over a year. She pulled her work clothes out of storage, found her makeup in a box and did her nails.

She looked great when she came out of the bedroom, stylish, pretty and feminine. Mary arrived boiling over with enthusiasm and off they went to their lady’s brunch. Myself, a bit envious for reasons you all know.

Arriving home later that afternoon, her spirits were buoyed, she told all about the food, the restaurant and the women she met. Then she said it. 

“It was so good to get out and dress up like a girl for a change. We all agreed that we need to do it for ourselves every so often.”

The way it came out resonated with me and I’ll assume with you, too. She could have said “dolled-up,” “dressed-up,” “put on some pretty clothes,” however, after almost a year of sweatpants and shorts, she was finally able to express her femininity with her peers.

It’s been a year since the pandemic put a kibosh on my business travel and my outings and life as Paula. And I’ll tell you. It would be good to dress up like a girl for a change –  you know we need to do it for ourselves every so often. (smile)

Wearing ModCloth

Kris Andersson femulating in Dixie's Happy Hour.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Madeleine

Selfies in the girls’ room

Major Events

I love going out en femme among the civilians. Shopping and dining are my typical en femme activities, but I also enjoy going to major events en femme. 

Attending ham radio and philatelic conventions are major events I attend en femme. (Nothing like femulating 24/7 for three or four days to affirm your femininity.) And I am always looking for other major events to attend.

The photo above of femulators attending Royal Escot* in the U.K. inspires me to attend a major horse race at Saratoga Race Course in upstate New York next summer (pandemic permitting).

* A couple of Femulate readers have actually attended Royal Ascot en femme and have recounted their day at the races here and here.

Wearing Venus

Jake Warden, not to be confused with Jack Warden

Gyp and Dale

Trans Scam Dept.

I watched most of the HBO documentary The Lady and the Dale, which tells the story of transwoman con-artist Liz Carmichael, whose biggest con was her three-wheeled automobile, the Dale. 

The documentary is very interesting and it fills in a lot of details that I forgot or missed when the con actually occurred. On the negative side, I thought that some of the interviewed people tried to give Carmichael a pass for her illegal activities. 

Watch it and you be the judge.

What Works Dept.

Continuing with things that work for me, I want to mention two products that I use every day and can recommend without reservation.

Gold Bond Ultimate Neck & Chest Firming Cream – Very old sun damage on my neck moved me to try this product when I saw it advertised on television back in late 2019. I have been using it daily ever since. The sun damage is now less apparent because the redness of my damaged skin is gone – the color of the damaged parts of my neck matches the color of the rest of my neck. Now one has to get up close and personal to notice the damage. 

Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift Pro Dual Eye System – I have been using this product for almost five years. It is a two-part system. The tub includes a gel for your eyelids and brow bone and a cream for under your eyes. I apply it every morning after I cleanse my face. It keeps my eyelids tight/firm and reduces the appearance of wrinkles, especially crow's feet around my eyes. I don’t look my age (69.9) and this product has a lot to do with it. 

Get a Job Dept.

This is from Kristy at Zippia, the career expert site.

We created a new resource to help Trans job seekers in the job market. Not only do Trans workers often face discrimination while job hunting, they also face a variety of complex situations not traditionally covered by college career centers or other resources. Topics such as finding Trans friendly workplaces, pronouns on your resume, and legal rights are sadly neglected. We believe our resource will help job seekers find a positive work environment and decrease job hunting anxiety:

https://www.zippia.com/job-search/lgbtq-jobs/trans-job-seeker-guide/

In addition, we dedicated a section to guide employers in creating an inclusive workplace for Trans workers. It isn’t right or fair to expect Trans individuals to have to educate the world around them-- our hope is this guide can relieve some of that burden and help create more inclusive workplaces.

Wearing Madeleine

Clinton Leupp femulating on an episode of television's Will & Grace.

Comfortable in Heels

I usually wear high heels when I go out, but I have not gone out in a very long time. During these pandemic days, I only wear high heels when I am trying on a new outfit. The rest of the time, I wear flats. As a result, my feet are out of shape for wearing heels. I noticed this in December after walking around the house in heels that used to be painless, but were no longer painless!

What to do?

Every morning, I do stretching exercises. Some of the exercises involve laying on my back while moving my legs this way and that. My feet are just spectators during these exercises. 

It occurred to me that I could stretch my feet while I did these exercises and maybe that would get my feet back in shape for wearing high heels. So I tried it — while my legs were moving this way and that, I kept my feet pointed like a ballerina. This stretches my toes, arches, ankles and lower calf — areas that can get painful wearing high heels. 

I had been doing my foot stretches for over a month before I walked around in high heels again and I was a surprised that it was a painless experience – my foot stretches worked!

Note well that I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on television (I’d prefer to play the nurse), so I am not advising anyone to try my foot stretching exercise. I'm just describing what worked for me – your mileage may and probably will vary.

Wearing Unique Vintage

Adam Strycharczuk femulates Katie Melua on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo. Despite an excellent femulation, Adam was very nervous and you can see his body shaking throughout this performance. 

You can view this femulation on YouTube.