Friday at Femulate Headquarters

My posts have been irregular this week. Long hours watching the election results, short hours watching the inside of my eyelids, removing 7 million leaves from my yard, weird dreams along with my normal housewife duties, it has been an unusual week here at Femulate Hq.

Usually, I don’t remember my dreams, but I remembered one from Wednesday night that was really weird. In the dream, I was wearing a classic white female nurse uniform and I was at work, but my employer is located in my old grammar school. A fellow, a well-known local news show personality, who is now retired showed up at my workplace in a wedding gown and asked me to find someone to officiate his marriage. I knew someone at work who was a justice of the peace, so I began searching the building for him. And then I woke up.

Sitting in front of the television watching the election results, I spent some time with my iPad on YouTube searching for films with crossdressing contents. I was surprised to find a lot of foreign films and television shows in which crossdressing made an appearance. Sometimes there was just a brief crossdressing encounter, but sometimes crossdressing was a significant theme of the film or TV show.

Using Google Translate and IMDb along with YouTube, I have been sorting out all my finds and it will take a while. In the near future, I will report here what I found.

Wearing L'Agence

Joshua Agai, male womenswear model

Wednesday

Prettiest Kid in the Hall Dept.

During a 2010 interview for The Kids in the Hall television series Death Comes to Town, Dave Foley (photo right) was asked, “Well, Kids in the Hall fans always say that you made the prettiest woman, so I guess it would make sense that you play Marilyn.”

“It’s true,” Dave replied, “Though I’m not as pretty as I used to be.”

Same Old, Same Old Dept.

Just watched the trailer for Transhood, a new HBO documentary that chronicles the lives of four transgender kids.

Maybe I am jaded, but it looks like more of the same. I am sure it is well done (most HBO documentaries are), but I wish there was a new sympathetic in-depth documentary about crossdressers – not transsexuals, not drag queens, not trans kids, but crossdressers. Now that would be something new under the sun.

Wearing Brahmin

Angus T. Jones femulating on a 2008 episode of television’s Two and a Half Men

Femulators in the Hall

The Kids in the Hall was “a Canadian sketch comedy TV series that aired for five seasons from 1988 to 1995, starring the comedy troupe The Kids in the Hall. The troupe, consisting of comedians Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson, appeared as almost all the characters throughout the series, both male and female, and also wrote most of the sketches.” (Source: Wikipedia)

I watched the series for the humor and more importantly, to see the males impersonating females – the same reasons I watched Monty Python's Flying Circus. I preferred Monty Python’s humor to The Kids in the Hall’s humor. However, when it came to female impersonation, there was no contest; I greatly preferred The Kids in the Hall to Monty Python.

Monty Python parodied women, whereas The Kids in the Hall femulated women. Their femulations were so good that they could pass among the civilians if they desired.

In his review of the Kids' film Brain Candy, Roger Ebert notes that the female characters in the film ‘are played “straight,” in the sense that we’re supposed to relate to them as women, not men in drag.’ Mia Steinle on Canonball blog observes that the troupe’s humour derives not from the fact that these are men in dresses, but rather that ‘situations involving women can be just as funny as situations involving men.’ For instance, the recurring ‘Kathie and Cathy’ sketches, featuring Bruce McCulloch and Scott Thompson as the titular secretaries, tend to work via character comedy, playing Kathie’s flustered giddiness off against Cathy’s sarcastic confidence. 

This conforms to the views expressed by the various Kids in interview regarding the way they performed as women. Scott Thompson states that they were not ‘winking at the audience’ […] these were playing ‘real women’, not ‘drag queens’. Bruce McCulloch relates their ease of playing women to the fact that the troupe is composed of
as he puts it
‘feminine guys’. Kevin McDonald corroborates this opinion by explaining that because he’s a ‘feminine guy’, it makes it easier for him to become a ‘masculine woman.’  

What is interesting here is that the Kids position themselves in opposition to the strategies adopted by ‘drag queens’ who are assumed by them to be ‘fake women’. If Monty Python often adopted the same costumes – permed grey wigs, handbags, etc. –
in order to represent types, the Kids’ costumes... are impressively varied. Strapless dresses; wedding dresses; jumpers; denim miniskirts; boots; t-shirts; pyjamas; waist-coats; trousers; the costumes often accentuated by subtle make-up techniques and convincing wigs. 

The rhetoric the Kids adopt indicates that they place gender on a spectrum to be performed
– thus it is possible for a feminine man to move a few notches to become a masculine woman –
rather than a binary system under which gender simply flips between male and female. This rhetoric by which the Kids are keen to demonstrate that they play women as women would do often results in them positioning themselves against the notion of drag. Dave Foley interviewed by Fred Topel about (the Kids’ film) Death Comes to Town makes this clear: ‘We kept working with our makeup and hair and wardrobe to get it as far away from drag as possible. We didn’t want to look like drag queens and we didn’t want to look at (sic.) men in dresses.’ 

When, in Mother Camp, an older performer critiques a younger boy’s drag performance, for ‘looking too much like a real woman,’ this is a critique I can imagine the Kids embracing as a great compliment and solidifying their position against drag.

The five indented paragraphs above are from an essay written by Adam Whybray titled “‘I'm Crushing Your Binaries!’ Drag in Monty Python and Kids in the Hall.” I urge you to read the entire essay if you are interested in Monty Python versus The Kids in the Hall femulating; it is excellent.

Wearing St. John

Bob Seagren femulating in a 1977 episode of television’s Soap
You can view the episode on dailymotion.

A Departmentalized Monday

A femulator at Casa Susanna, circa 1964

Herstory Dept.

Read a great article by Alicia Winokur about the history of Tiffany Club, a support group for crossdressers and transexuals during the Dark Ages of the last century. I came out in the middle of that history, so it was nice to backfill what I missed. The story is New England-centric and I actually knew some of the people involved, so it is a story that is near and dear to me, but I think anyone who was a member of a support  group during the late 20th Century will find the article interesting.

(Thank you Stephanie for alerting me to the article.)

She Gets My Vote Dept.

Heather wrote, “I've voted in person today. The lady who checked me in didn‘t realize that the name on the ballot and ID didn‘t match the image of the lady standing before her. She said I looked great. I had many positive comments.”

I often considered voting in person en femme, but worried that when I showed my male photo ID, all hell would break loose. But Heather’s story inspired me to do it next time I vote in person, so wait ’til next year as I already voted by absentee ballot this year. 

Can’t Get Too Much Wetter Dept.

Aunty emailed, “For my Guys to Gurls on Stage and Screen flickr group, I dug a little more into Mr./Ms. Wetter's background and came across him femulating Sissy Spacek in a video artist's homage to Brian DePalma's masterwork, Carrie. Brice Dellsperger has done 40 separate videos where he or other men assume female roles, such as in his first Body Double video that was based on DePalma's Dressed to Kill, and in that one he plays the Angie Dickinson role amazingly well.

Click here to view Brice Dellsperger’s videos (Alexandre Wetter as Carrie is “Body Double 32” and Brice Dellsperger as Angie Dickinson is “Body Double 1”).

Rocking a Stand coat and Intermix dress

Lil Nas X femulated Nicki Minaj for Halloween, 2020

Teri’s Halloween Adventure

By Teri Lynn

Halloween 2004 was a great experience for me. What a stroke of luck! Thursday evening I tried numerous outfits on at home to see what to wear the next day. Several times in the past, I had mentioned to my wife that someday I was going to show up at her staff lunch at work dressed as a woman. She thought that might be risky and the staff would harass her and me forever. 

My wife went to work dressed as a fat male, Western sheriff – fat created by a pillow to hide the boobs. Most of her co-workers did not recognize her. We fixed a mustache for her (with wig hair), she penciled in some bushy eyebrows and even had an old Western hat and sheriff’s badge. 

At lunch, one of the office staff asked, “So what is your husband dressing as for the party – a girl?” 

She replied, “Matter-of-fact, yes.”  

Next thing I know my cell phone is ringing and she told me what happened, then she asked me where I was. I told her I was out shopping close to her school and I asked her whether I should stop by. She said that the girls were curious to see what I looked like, so over I went. 

When I got to her school, I stopped at the office and when the secretary asked if she could help me, I said that my car broke down and could I borrow her phone book to get a tow truck number. She got the phone book for me. Then I asked her if she knew of a good tow company. She did not. 

Then I said, “Well, maybe I could just get the phone number of Joy (my wife) and perhaps she could give me a ride home.’ 

It still didn’t click with her who she was talking to. She said, “Joy?” 

“Yes,” I said and she went to her desk to get the number. 

At that point, in my normal voice, I said, “Sue, it’s me” 

She gasped and said, “I don’t believe it. You look beautiful! Who did you hair like that? You even did your nails. Are you wearing a skirt?” 

Sue came around the counter to get a better look. “I love it. You look better in a skirt than I do!”

She asked whether I had stopped in at my wife’s class yet. I told her I had and added that I had just come from a salon where they made me up for a party tonight. (My wife didn’t want them to think I do this regularly, so I used that for an excuse.) Sue said that I looked marvelous and should have no trouble winning a prize. (Ha ha, if she only knew!)

I left, to continue shopping. The phone rang again and my wife told me that several of the other women heard about me and were disappointed that they missed seeing me. She also said that the secretaries thought I had nice legs. I asked whether I should come back and she suggested I could do that. 

Back I go. This time the secretary and my wife were standing outside waiting for me. I had to trek right past the principal, who was also outside. 

Again Sue commented on how nice I looked. (Well, I didn’t get to this stage overnight, but we won‘t tell her that.) This time, another secretary came over with her camera and took pictures of my wife and I. Wait ‘til that makes the rounds at the school.

The ice is broken and no one died of embarrassment. Who knows, maybe they will insist I come to the annual staff Christmas dinner as Teri. My wife said, “No” to that wishful thought, but maybe she can talk them into a New Year’s party. 

I'm sure it won't be long before my daughter finds out. When she is home on college breaks, she usually spends a day with my wife in class. It won’t take but a second for someone to mention how I looked on Halloween. I hope she is not shocked/repulsed by it all. In the past, when she had seen crossdressers on TV, she made comments that she thought it was crazy. Once she knows, I know we will have our long overdue talk. Then, hopefully, I can get out when she is home for school breaks, especially for events like New Year's Eve. 

I sure hope they at least request that I come back for Halloween as Teri. 

By the way, our daughter only went to the school once or twice to help out, but no one must have said anything – at least she didn’t‘t mention anything about it to me.

Do you have an interesting Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels.

Wearing Julia Jordan

Huntz Hall, Leo Gorcey, Benny Bartlett, David Gorcey and Gil Stratton (“The Bowery Boys”) femulating in the 1952 film Hold That Line. You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Happy Halloween

Angela’s Saloon Girl Femulation

By Angela Booth

Living here in the U.K., Halloween is only a low-key event prior to Bonfire Night, which is a week later. Us Brits make huge bonfires and burn effigies of some unpopular celebrity or politician in celebration of the Gunpowder Plot where, in 1605, Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament.

In the last decade or so, the American trick or treat has become a part of the calendar where ghoulish kids knock on doors for treats. Occasionally, moms would dress in ghoulish costumes with their children, but the dads in girlish costumes has never caught on.

Halloween 2009, a co-worker announced that she was having a party and said “Come as you aren’t.” The office buzzed with anticipation – what were they going to wear? There was quite a spectrum of outfits being considered. Most of the guys decided on macho things and I wasn’t sure what I would do.

One morning, I was in the office and happened on a couple of the girls chatting about the party. They were saying that they had decided on a Western saloon girl theme. I was asked what I was going as. I told them I hadn’t a clue and one of the girls said they’d dress me up if I wanted. I chuckled and jokingly said I would consider it. 

Nearer the event I had to make up my mind and when asked again about the Western theme, I said I would think about it. I told them I had a sister who was in amateur theatrics and would see what she could do for an outfit from the theater’s wardrobe. This was actually true, but I knew I had a wardrobe of my own at home and I was going to do it.

I looked online and bought a dress and some accessories from a fancy dress outlet. I had a suitable wig and everything else required. I had a corset style hip and bum enhancer and my usual bust enhancer. Sparkly black hose and a pair of high heels finished the outfit off nicely. I made up and topped it all off with wig. I sat there and started to have second thoughts as no one knew about my other self. Would I give the game away?

I took a deep breath and grabbed my purse and walked out of the door to my car. When I pulled up outside my friend’s address, you could hear the music coming from the house and the party was in full swing.

I stood at the door and pressed the bell. The door opened and The Incredible Hulk answered. It was one of my co-workers. He looked at me and offered me in. He told me the hostess was in the kitchen and walked off. I do not think he realized who I was. 

I walked into the kitchen where it was busy with a lot of my friends and I stood there and looked around. No one came over and apart from a few glances, there was no reaction. I looked at my friend and she gave me a puzzled look then realized – gave a shriek of surprise and came dashing over. It was then that the others realized, too. They were gushing and amazed at how I looked. Even my male co-workers were amazed. 

Of course, they asked how I had been made up and I used the excuse my sister did it. They bought it and it was great party and I was in seventh heaven.

In the days after the party, the pictures did the rounds and I was talked about but not one person made any suggestion or inference that I was too good or asked if I had done this before. It was passed off as a night of fun and life went on. 

There is a postscript to this: I ended up coming out to this friend within a year and this changed my future. It really did.

Do you have an interesting Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels.

Wearing H&M

Angela's saloon girl Halloween femulation

Suburban Housewife in Fishnets

My state’s (Connecticut) “Sexy Suburban Housewife” is a challenge I would like to attempt! Since I was able to pull off “office girl drag” successfully, I think “sexy suburban housewife” is doable, too. Don’t you?

Wearing Macy's

Michael A. Andrews and Tracy Robert Austin femulating in the 1985 film Avenging Angel
You can view the film on YouTube.

Beam Me Up, Captain

By Jeanine Williams

Although this photo was taken at a Halloween event in Denver the year before, it’s the same Star Trek outfit I wore for a Halloween event at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado, circa 2000. As some of you may recall, the Stanley Hotel was the inspiration for writer Steven King’s The Shining. The movie was actually filmed at the Elstree Studios in the UK, the hallways, rooms and other areas are reminiscent of those in the Stanley, a historic landmark.

I was supposed to meet my friend Nicole (in Wonder Woman costume), but road and weather conditions kept her from making it. By that time, having overcome my fears of being out and about and of course, that it was Halloween, I went alone to an event at the Stanley that featured dinner, dancing and a ghost tour of the hotel as well as the requisite costume contest.

The ghost tour was very interesting, but I suspect some of the spookiness is refreshed and kept alive with every new telling by the staff of the mysterious comings and goings of the ghostly inhabitants. Nevertheless, the tour told us of the footprints that appear in the snow on a little balcony when no one has been in the room, the hallway where the boy on his tricycle saw the twin girls and “redrum,” the closet in which a mariner smoking a pipe disappears upon opening the door and the bell tower where a night watchman met his unexplained death. I won’t go into how climbing the vertical ladder to the top made me feel with a guy directly behind me, if you know what I mean!

By the time the tour was over most people had arrived in the ballroom and I found myself being invited to sit at a table with several couples, all of them very friendly and some of them trying to figure me out. I introduced myself as Lt. Janeway, Captain Janeway’s great-grandmother (for those of you who are Star Trek fans, you get this!).

One of the couples (in their late 40’s) sat next to me and I chatted with her quite a bit and I think we may have danced together a few times. They were dressed in Roaring 20’s attire and really looked good. In fact, they came in third place in the contest, which was held at the end of the evening,. Yes I did enter as well and, in fact – I won! However, I shouldn’t have and here’s why.

The couple that came in second place was incredible. They were very attractive in their late 20’s and dressed impeccably in antebellum attire. He as a dashing officer in the Confederate army with sash, sword, scabbard and a ramrod military bearing. She, in an off the shoulder pale blue dress with lace gloves, parasol and waving a matching fan as she said in a southern drawl, “I do declare sir, what are your intentions?” Perfect!

We all made it through the initial rounds where judges tapped you on the shoulder to stay on the floor and then onto the final ten, which were determined by audience applause. I was pretty happy to still be in the final ten, but finally the five of us became the last standing. At this point I got pretty nervous because now I was really being checked out, but I maintained a degree of composure, smiled and did my best to engage with everyone.

The MC announced the final round and the prizes to be awarded. My Roaring 20’s friends received a loud round of applause, but it was obvious it was not quite as loud and they happily sat down. I think they were a bit surprised that they had made it that far, but their outfits were first class. He really looked like a gangster and she the flapper gun moll. The Civil War couple and I got an equal amount of really loud cheers and applause and the MC determined it was a tie and said to do it again, but told us to “get into it” or something to that affect. 

So the beautiful couple went first and he wowed them by getting down on one knee, taking her hand and proposing to her. She feigns fainting and the crowd goes wild! People are getting out of their chairs and the applause is deafening. I figure I’m toast and that was OK because finishing second to that performance was just fine by me.

The crowd quieted down and it’s my turn. Deep breath, I sashay a few steps forward, slowly place my left hand on my hip, do a hair flip, look up to the sky, flip open my communicator (which made all those cool noises) and say in my best sexy sultry voice, “Beam me up, Captain.”

The audience goes nuts with my table leading the way. There’s cheering, whistling, even some catcalls and the MC declares me the winner of a two-night stay at the hotel. This was truly something I was not expecting and I really was overwhelmed. When given the opportunity to say a few words, I could only say thanks and how much fun it was. I did congratulate and compliment the Civil War couple though and returned to my seat where my table mates were gushing that our table took first and third.

A few minutes later the MC (a local morning radio celebrity) came to our table because he was told I was not quite the Star Trek female officer I appeared to be and wanted to see for himself. The look of surprise on his face indicated he had thought otherwise, so that in itself was a reward.

The beautiful couple wore expensive and likely tailored costumes. I wore a simple cheap costume store polyester dress, but I did accessorize it with a “tri-corder” (old tape recorder), a “phaser” (garage door opener), a tribble (the furry ball on my belt) and the communicator which I had bought in Las Vegas at the Star Trek attraction.

In retrospect, the best part of this femulating adventure was being out at an event like that (there were at least 200 people there), being invited to sit at a table by welcoming and friendly people and receiving such a significant affirmation by those in attendance. Walking around the hotel and chatting with staff and the occasional guest was also fun. 

I really just lucked out on winning. The young couple should have won and if I wasn’t so surprised and taken aback, I would have and should have graciously offered a concession and my congratulations to them. I happily left the hotel with a greater prize – and I know you all can relate to that.

Happy Halloween!!

Do you have an interesting Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels.

Wearing Black Halo

Claude Brosset femulating in the 1976 French film Le corps de mon ennemi (Body of My Enemy)

My Halloween Costumes

Whenever I attended a civilian Halloween event, I dressed like a woman on the street (and I don't mean a street-walker). For example, my Halloween costume for work was always “office girl drag,” that is, I tried to emulate how women typically dress for the office.

On the other hand, whenever I attended a trans Halloween event (like a support group Halloween party), I dressed in a costume that a woman might wear on Halloween. For example, for my support group's past Halloween parties, I dressed as a school girl, Marilyn Monroe, Jacqueline Kennedy, French maid, bat girl  and Playboy bunny, among other things.

Why?

For trans Halloween events, the answer is easy.

I dressed in a costume a woman might wear because in the trans world, I normally dressed as a woman. As a result, a “woman on the street” costume would not be a costume (unless I dressed like a street-walker).

For civilian Halloween events, the answer is more complicated.

I could have dressed in a costume a woman might wear for civilian Halloween events, but I never have.

Like many of us, my first forays in public en femme were on Halloween. Just dressing as a woman among civilians was a major accomplishment and the thrill of a lifetime of anticipation.

In theory, dressing in a costume a woman might wear rather than in office girl drag might result in fewer knowing looks that imply that I crossdress more often than just October 31. But I always femulate too well, not like the average guy in drag on Halloween, so I got lots of those knowing looks no matter what I wore.

I'm not sensitive about it. If someone confronts me, I come right back with “Normally, I only crossdress on weekends” and they don't know what to say.

So, dressing like a woman on the street for civilian Halloween events does not buy me much with regard to fooling anyone about my proclivity to crossdress. However, the comment, “who is the woman (referring to me) not wearing a costume” never gets old.

Dressing like a woman on the street for civilian events has become my personal Halloween tradition. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

(Caveat Emptor: This is a rewritten post from the past.)

Femulating properly in Boston Proper

Martin Weiss femulating in the 2004 German film Agnes and His Brothers.
You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.

Many Halloweens Ago

By Carollyn Olson

Other Captain & Tennille Emulators 

Unlike many crossdressers, Halloween has never been one of my favorite “holidays.” 

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the children knocking on the front door for “trick or treat” candy because I like seeing the little ones in costume, especially when a boy is dressed as a girl. What I don’t like is when men dress as women once a year and flaunt themselves in an embarrassing way, which is negative to the crossdressing community and all we strive and stand for the other 364 days a year. Is this understandable?

About 30 years ago when I was basically a less experienced crossdresser, I had the opportunity to do a costume exchange with my loving wife for a good friend's combination Halloween and birthday party. 

A few months earlier, my spouse and I had dressed as the popular singing duo Captain & Tennille at a company convention/theme night. It was her idea to “blow our friends’ minds” by reversing roles for the Halloween/birthday dinner party.

When my wife asked me if I was interested in switching roles, I “manly” shrugged it off, but mentally embraced the opportunity. “Let me think about it,” I said, not sure if she was serious, but knowing I would be agreeable in a couple of days.

Going to a party en femme was exciting. I had been out-and-about many times, but this was different. In my mind I began to prepare for the “big night.” What would I wear, where would I buy shoes, makeup, finger nails, jewelry, etc? Remember, I had been crossdressing for about 10 years unbeknownst to my spouse. I had plenty of clothes in a storage locker, but I could never tell he, so I wasn’t going to wear any of my femme wardrobe. I would start from scratch.

After agreeing to make the Halloween switch, we first worked on her costume: a captain’s hat I had worn at the company outing, a striped blue and white shirt, blue blazer, white pants and tennis shoes. I wanted her outfit to be perfect and she looked great, especially when her flowing blonde hair was stuffed under the captain’s hat. Then we went to work on mine.

Since we wore the same size dresses, she asked me to try on her undergarments, hose, red sweater dress and shoulder-length blonde wig. Everything fit perfectly. All I needed was a pair of heels and I knew where to go – Payless Shoes. A few days after the fitting, I returned home with black Mary Jane heels to complement the dress. I also bought clip-on earrings and press-on French tip nails. I was all set to make my Halloween debut.

The night before the party, my spouse insisted I shave my legs, which I did without hesitation. She suggested that we do a costume “dry run” to which I had little objection. Within an hour she had applied my makeup, I had dressed and was parading around the house in heels. She was amazed how good I looked, my mannerisms and how well I walked in 2-1/2–inch heels. If she only knew!

The afternoon of the big day, I started preparing about four hours before we had to leave. I wanted to be perfect and really surprise our friends. After shaving and showering, my spouse did an extra special application of my makeup. I proceeded to dress, making sure I added a little padding for my hips and my bra. My spouse combed out her wig so it would fall precisely on my shoulders. She handed me a matching red purse packed with makeup and said, “You look amazing, but I don’t want you to make a habit of this.”

My 20-ish daughter was also preparing for a Halloween party and she was aware of our party plans. I knocked on her bedroom door and when she opened the door she screamed in amazement. 

“I can’t believe you are my father,” she said. “You look so good as a woman.” 

We shared a good laugh as she had me twirl around and observed me walking in heels across the family room. I picked up our white kitten, which was following me step-by-step and my daughter took a couple of pictures for our photo album.   

I was a bit nervous when I drove the 20 minutes to the party and faked even more nervousness (for the sake of my spouse) as we walked to the front door. I actually felt comfortable and anxious for my friends to meet “Brandi,” the name my wife had given me. We were welcomed by the son of the host, who was a perfect match for Eddie Munster. 

As we walked in, we were greeted by our friend John, who was dressed as a monk. He was shocked at how great I looked and immediately wanted to take photos. Being a dirty old priest, he attempted to grab my breast, but I slapped his hand and told him to act like a gentleman. We had a good laugh as the camera clicked.

I spotted Howard across the room. He had his back to me, so I walked quietly up to him and tapped him on his shoulder. He turned around and I placed a big, wet kiss right on his lips. When he realized the woman who kissed him was me, he yelled an obscenity and ran off to the bathroom to clean off his lips. Everybody laughed.

My appearance as Brandi was the hit of the party. Before the night was over, I had won the best legs contest and many of the men tried to walk in my heels. Drinking alcohol and trying to walk in heels for the first time is not the best idea and one could imagine the results. Anne, the classy, lovely-looking lady, who was the runner-up in the legs contest whispered to me:, “You deserved to win. Your legs are much nicer than mine.”

My spouse chided me throughout the night for being vain. And why not? I was constantly checking my makeup and reapplying my mascara and lipstick in the bathroom. I wanted to look the best I could. 

We departed for home some time after midnight. Since it was colder than usual for a late October evening, the car windows began to fog up. I safely stopped the car at the side of the road and retrieved the squeegee from the trunk. As I was leaning across the hood of the car to reach the windshield with my dress riding up my thighs, a police officer pulled up and rolled down his window. 

“Is everything OK, Miss?” he asked. 

I informed him my windows were fogging up and I wanted to make sure I could see where I was going. 

“Good idea,” he responded. “Drive safely.” 

He turned on his flashing lights and accelerated on to the thoroughfare. I would never know if he turned on the lights for me or had an emergency call.

When we returned home, I poured my wife into bed (too many Long Island iced teas). Still on a high and not wanting to change, I decided to try on a few of my wife’s other outfits. I felt so femme as I wore some of her fancy and casual longer and shorter dresses. 

Finally, exhausted after 12 hours in heels, I fell into bed at 4 AM completely satisfied and on Cloud 9 after a night I will never forget.

So, what’s your Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels. 

Boys too can cut a pretty figure in this beautiful dress from Eloquii. 

Alex Saxon femulating on television’s Ray Donovan (2013 and 2015)
Thank-you, Gina, for tipping me off about this femulation.