The wig’s cap size was average. I usually shy away from wigs with average size caps because my head is as voluptuous as the rest of me and average size caps have a bad habit of not staying put on my head. This was not the case with Jessica. Its cap size was a perfect fit for my head size and I did not have to use the wig’s adjustable straps to tighten the fit. After wearing Jessica for a few hours, I did not experience any wig headaches or other pain that sometimes occur with a new wig that has not been broken in yet.
Jessica weighs in at 3,.7 ounces and its capless design makes it comfortable, lightweight and cool to wear. After wearing Jessica for a few hours, I did not experience any wig headaches or other pain that sometimes occur with a new wig that has not been broken in yet.
This style wig is a big departure from the shorter wigs I normally wear. I selected Jessica because I thought it was time for a change and I am very happy with my choice. It looks beautiful and I think it makes me look a little younger!
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| Just like this gender-fluid model, you too can rock this floral embroidered mesh dress from Boston Proper. |
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| Enrique Herrera femulated in yet another film version of Charley’s Aunt. This one from Mexico in 1938 titled La tia de ls muchachas (The Girls Aunt). You can view the entire film on YouTube. |
Which reminds me of boys who femulate Disney princesses and boys who femulate mommies.
For play time, the class of about 30 students was divided into five unisex groups. Each group took turns each day playing in different play areas: sandbox, toy blocks, art, play house, etc.
When it was my group's turn to play house, us boys played at being mommies, never daddies.
Some of the male mommies donned frilly aprons and “cooked” in the play kitchen, while other male mommies tended to the babies ― bottle-feeding Betsy Wetsy dolls and changing their diapers after they wet. When Betsy was dry, male mommies could push their babies around the classroom in doll carriages.
In addition to the frilly aprons, there was a toy box containing pocketbooks, high heels, lady’s hats and adult-sized dresses. There were not enough items to completely outfit each mommy, so we would select just an item or two for our femulations. (I usually tried to get a pocketbook and a pair of high heels.)
None of the male mommies rebelled at being feminized and some of us really got into it by affecting “female” characteristics, such as speaking in a higher pitch and using female mannerisms.
Initially, I felt embarrassed playing a mommy, but it did not seem to bother the other boys, so I played along like a girl with the rest of the boys.
And so it goes.
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| Slip into this bodycon floral print velvet dress from Venus and you're set to steal the show from the other boys at this year’s Thanksgiving festivities. |
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| Long-time Femulate reader and contributor, Aunty Marlena, invites you to visit her womanless photo collection on flickr. |
The third time, there was no invitation. I simply decided to show up at work in “office girl drag” and enjoy the day at work as a woman. And that third time was probably my best Halloween en femme at work experience because no one was expecting it and I fooled most of my co-workers with my femulation.
For example, when my boss arrived at work that day, I made a bee-line to her cubicle, saying “Happy Halloween” as I entered.
She looked up with a confused expression and it took about a half minute before she recognized me. She was ecstatic. She checked me out and gushed over my appearance.
“He shaved his legs.”
“He even did his nails.”
“I hate him – he looks better than me.”
She took my photo and e-mailed it to some of our colleagues in our other facility. And throughout the morning, she brought people to my cubicle to show me off.
I never saw her act like this before. She was enjoying my femulation as much as I was.
My boss also suggested I play a trick on our president’s administrative assistant, so when she showed up, I went into her office and said, “I am the new receptionist and you are supposed to train me.”
She was completely fooled. She said that no one had informed her of my training, but she was ready to have at it.
I felt a little sorry forever her, so before it went any farther, I asked, “Do you know who I am?”
She shook her head “no,” so I confessed and she was absolutely floored! She confessed that she really had no idea who I was nor that I was a male.
Returning to my cubicle, I heard the voice of a female co-worker who I had known for 16 years, so I paid her a visit.
“Happy Halloween,” I said as she looked up without any sign of recognition, then she recognized me. After she stopped gushing over me, she said that when she first saw me, she thought I was a former co-worker woman. She said the resemblance was striking.
At 10 AM, I had to attend a meeting (a “gemba”) concerning a new product. I walked into the middle of ten engineers standing in a circular fashion for the gemba, said “Happy Halloween” and they all smiled and took my appearance in stride. A couple of the guys admitted afterword that until they heard my voice, they had no idea who I was.
Another friend asked if he could take my photo sitting in his cubicle. I gladly agreed, he took it with his smart phoneand sent it to his wife claiming I was his new administrator.
After his wife learned the truth, she replied, “OMG!!!!!!! That is soooooo funny! He looks really good as a woman. I don't want her sitting in your cubicle.”
Five co-workers took my photo throughout the day and graciously e-mailed me copies. One co-worker said he was “speechless,” then added, “You missed your calling... you should have been a female impersonator.”
During lunch, I drove to the nearby Lowe’s home improvement store to get a replacement part for a piece of plumbing that failed after the storm the day before. I had no trepidation about going to Lowe’s and I found my trip very revealing.
Whenever I go to Lowe’s or Home Depot in male mode, I have to find and ask a store employee when I need help. Today, I had a male Lowe’s employee practically at my beck and call. When he saw me looking lost in the plumbing department, he asked what I needed and directed me to the exact location where the part was displayed. After I found what I needed, he came over and compared it to the old part I had brought along to make sure I got the right part.
That’s the power of a short skirt and high heels!
Speaking of high heels, I wore them all day long (over 9 hours) and my feet felt fine. I guess sitting about two-thirds of the day helped. I did bring flats just in case, but I only put them on when I drove home.
I returned to work, ate lunch and felt tired; the 4:15 AM wakeup was beginning to take its toll.
I visited the two women in Human Resources who knew that I am transgender. The HR woman, who is approximately my age, was enthusiastic and said I looked “great,” while the 30-something HR woman acted as if nothing was unusual and said nothing about my appearance.
Another female co-worker I have known forever stopped by my cubicle in the afternoon and said I looked “sparkling.” She also commented that I looked better than she ever did even when she went to the prom. She wondered if anyone at work had busted “my chops” and I happily admitted that no one had.
Except for folks stopping by to look and/or take photos, the afternoon was quieter than the morning. Overall, I had a great day at work en femme. Not a discouraging word was heard; instead, I received a lot of compliments.
Next morning, my boss saw me and remarked, “Thank, God, you're dressed normal today.”
I responded, “What's normal?”
So, what’s your Halloween story? I’d love to read it and share it with my readers. And don’t forget to send along a photo or two from your holiday in heels.
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| A very professional-looking ensemble from Venus for boys who work in an office. |
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| Ms. Ross Erin and Mr. Patrick Holbert posing for their wedding invitation. You can read all about it here. |
Back in the late 70’s, if myself and/or my chums ever had occasion to hear Billy Joel’s “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” on the radio, upon the hearing the line “a bright orange pair of pants” we could not suppress a schoolboy snigger. At the time “pants” was not another way to describe trousers for us Brits, but rather referred to what laid beneath.
Not only was it acutely embarrassing for most to mention one’s unmentionables back then anyway, but the male vogue (for want of a better term) of that era was Y-fronts – which were somewhat unflattering to put it mildly!
It took a while for the word to enter our vernacular in the manner Americans used it. Probably (and not coincidentally) at a point where women were starting to wear trousers as often as they did skirts and dresses. And as such, the definition of “pants” implied they were a fashion option, as opposed to the traditional stuffy old things that men had no choice in wearing.
Even now in our “civilized” society, a man cannot wear a garment from the waist down that doesn’t have some form of division between the legs. Despite the efforts of French fashionista Jean Paul Gaultier and English football superstar David Beckham (among others) to offer an alternative that is actually better-suited to the male physique, resistance has remained rock solid. Even 20 years on, the latter is still ridiculed for once daring to wear a sari-style skirt in public!
It is the opposite case for women now in that their traditional garb of skirts and dresses have become (other than for more formal occasions) practically extinct. As a means of proving a point, while visiting the local supermarket at dusk on a mild autumn day, I decided to note what the first 10 women I saw go inside were wearing – with the above result. What were my thoughts on that? To use an appropriate contemporary British slang word for something that is considered rubbish: pants!
One of the fascinations for me as a crossdresser has always been to wear things that have been placed out of my reach simply because of the nature of my sexual organs. As a personal protest against being condemned as a man to wear trousers for life, I resolved that whenever possible, my femme alter ego would not pull on a pair of the damned things, And yet, many of my trans-sisters now seem more than happy to don them in preference to a skirt or dress in what I assume to be an attempt to femulate the woman of today.
I am aware that pants are more practical than even the most easily-worn skirts. But other than that or being some kind of women’s liberation statement, I still don’t understand why the latter are now shunned. In fact, where I live it has gotten to the point that if you happen to see a woman under pensionable age in a skirt while out and about, you can almost bet your bottom dollar it will be a member of the local Hassidic Jewish community!
What I find particularly concerning about all this is if I ever choose to live permane,ntly as a female in this day and age, then (other than changing my religion) unless I wore a pair of pants I would stick out like a sore thumb. And ironically be more at risk from unwanted scrutiny.
If I ever did decide to bite the bullet in that regard, then I would rather they were in styles and fabrics that had a bit of flair and style about them and as such as those black skin-tight wet-look ones that have been fashionable the last couple of years. But then I would probably attract just as much attention than if I wore a skirt or dress. If not more so!
And just to add insult to injury: most if not all those women entering the supermarket had trainers or suchlike on their feet as well. Much like the aforementioned David Beckham’s Missus (see her quote on the right of the Femulate site), my view is that “flats” are for living in – not wearing! But that’s another story.
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| Wearing Nine West |
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| Marie Sunshine, a Halloween femulator |
I am tall, so my legs are long; maybe their length causes an optical illusion making them look better than they really are. I don't know, but I am not going to argue with success. If other people are happy with my legs, then I am happy with them, too.
So, I ask myself, “Since my legs are such a great asset, why not show them off?” I usually respond by wearing skirts and dresses with short hemlines (sometimes scandalously short hemlines) and high heels that are 2, 3 or 4 inches high.
When I add 4-inch heels to my 5-foot, 14-inch stature, I standout in a crowd topping out at an Amazonian 6 and 1/2 feet! So, when I am out in that crowd, some people may think I am an Amazon or I played for the WNBA; other people may think I am a man in drag.
One rule of thumb for passing is that you should crossdress your age, i.e., if you are an XX-year-old crossdresser, you should dress like an XX-year-old cisgender woman. At my age that means long skirts and lower heels or worse. By “worse” I am referring to the fact that these days cisgender women my age dress like cisgender men! Trousers, slacks and flats, not skirts, dresses and heels, is the norm especially among women my age.
I remember dining with four other T-girls in downtown Hartford. The place was full of 20- and 30-somethings, men and women alike. Do you know how many people I saw in the restaurant wearing a skirt or a dress? Two: one of the T-girls I was dining with and me! I did not see one cisgender woman in a skirt or dress.
To blend in that night, I should have worn slacks, not the short black skirt that I wore. And if I really wanted to pass that night, I should have worn flats instead of high-heeled boots, socks instead of pantyhose, a plaid shirt instead of an animal-print top, boxers instead of a panty girdle, a t-shirt instead of a bra. Also, I should have nixed the makeup and left my pocketbook, wig, and jewelry at home. Then, I would have passed easily, but as a man.
In my opinion, passing is overrated. If I have to make a choice between dressing to pass or dressing to thrill, I will choose dressing to thrill every time. Sometimes, I dress to pass, but that's no fun. For starters, when I dress to pass, I usually am not that happy with the clothing I wear. To make matters worse, when I dress to pass, I constantly worry about passing. I cannot enjoy myself out en femme. It is a real drag!
On the other hand, when I dress to thrill, I am very happy with the way I look and I can be myself because I do not worry about passing. What is interesting is that sometimes when I am dressed to thrill, I pass!
Here is one of my favorite passing-when-I-wasn't-trying stories.
Doing outreach at Southern Connecticut State University, I started the day in 3-1/2-inch stilettos, but just in case, I brought a pair of flats that I left in the car. After shopping at the mall before outreach and going to the first of two classes to do outreach, my 3-1/2-inch stilettos had to go, so I went to the car to fetch my more comfortable shoes.
As I walked through the parking lot, I saw a university dump truck parked right in front of the car. The driver was talking with another university employee standing next to the truck. Oh, damn, just what I needed, the classic transwoman nightmare, a Transwoman vs. Macho Guy Face-Off!
I was ready for the worst! Making a beeline for the car, I tried to ignore the guys, but the guy standing by the side of the truck greeted me with a very flirtatious, “Good afternoon,” while the guy in the truck smiled appreciatively and drove away.
They flirted with me! Wow – that was so unexpected!
So when I go out en femme, I am likely to dress to thrill and show off my legs rather than dress to pass. And if I do pass, then that is just an extra thrill.
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| Wearing Bebe |
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| Eve, a lady in red |
Following up on “Ginger’s Take” in Tuesday’s post, I wrote to Ginger.
“Your response was revealing, but you really did not answer my question (or I worded it poorly), so let me try again.
“What do gay guys think of girls like me? Do we amuse them? Do we disgust them? Do we impress them with out femulating skills? I ask because I found that gay guys at the few gay bars I have gone to don't seem too friendly. On the other hand, gay women seem to be more friendly.”
Ginger replied.
“Well, I'm probably not the best person to ask. I am a feminine gay man and feminine gays are a small minority in the population of gay men as a whole. Most gay men are masculine and are attracted to other masculine gay men. They don't ‘get it’ why or how gay men want to be feminine and/or why they are attracted to femininity. They don't understand why we don't transition into women. Because they don’t ‘get it’ (and because we are a small minority), they think we are freaks and resemble the homophobic image of what most gay men are like. They think we are the reason why the mainstream won’t accept and recognize gay men as part of the mainstream. We are attacked and beaten up by masculine gay men as we are by homophobic straight men.
“Most crossdressers can’t pass, so if one goes to a gay bar they are not going to receive a warm reception. If you look like a guy wearing woman’s clothes, you (like feminine gay men) present a negative stereotype image. Most of mainstream society believes the majority of crossdressers are gay – and continue to believe it even after being informed that the vast majority are straight, married and have kids.
“There is an exception – drag queens and female impersonators are gay, but don’t crossdress when on dates with men. Crossdressing is their “job” not an expression of a need or desire to be feminine.
“The lack of friendliness or even hostility you sense when you go into a gay bar isn’t your imagination – it’s real. Most don't like transgender people being part of the gay alphabet. ‘If a man completely transitions into becoming a woman and wants to date men, why then are they even aligned with homosexuals?’ they ask.”
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Australian femulator, Lena, in 1973 and 2011 |
One area in which I have been totally unschooled is the world of webcomics. Frankly, I don't even follow regular comic strips anymore (my knowledge of and interest in those pretty much ended with the demise of Calvin and Hobbes and the passing of legendary Peanuts cartoonist Charles Schulz).
Sure, I have been aware of the existence of webcomics and have even sampled a few out of curiosity. I couldn't, if pressed, name one off the top of my head. But I have noted that there is a lot of talent out there on display in the medium.
I've also noted that there are several webcomics written and drawn by trans folks dealing primarily with trans issues. And some of the other webcomics out there not by or primarily about trans people may feature a character or two who happen to be trans.
One in the latter category is Questionable Content (QC) by a gent named Jeph Jacques. It is a “slice-of-life” type comic about the exploits of a group of young adults. I learned that there is a trans character in the comic after stumbling onto a few strips that popped up on my Pinterest feed. And the main story arc involving that character really spoke to me.
The main protagonist of QC is Marten Reed, an indie rock aficionado, who lives with a roommate (Faye, a young woman, who is his platonic best friend) and a short, anthropomorphized computer/robot named Pintsize. (The QC universe is pretty much like ours, except that sentient artificially intelligent robots live, work and play alongside us.) It also features a supporting cast of friends and neighbors that has grown considerably over the years. (Mr. Jacques launched the strip in 2003).
The introduction of Claire earned both praise, condemnation and lots of “kudos for introducing a trans character... however, ...” criticisms. Apart from the usual cretins objecting to the mere presence of a positively-portrayed trans character, other readers appreciated the inclusiveness, but felt that the new character and storyline was shoe-horned into the strip in an “anvilicious” manner dominating things for too long as other storylines fell by the wayside or ended abruptly. (As well as being seen by some as a bit too “saccharine” for their tastes and out of place in the overall atmosphere of the QC world.)
Some trans readers welcomed the character, but found Claire and her relationship with Marten (and the world, in general) more than a little “too good to be true” and not representative of most trans women’s real-life “storyline.”
Claire is very petite (the shortest and smallest, it seems, of the comic’s human characters), quite pretty and feminine, has a successful job, a supportive mother (with whom she lives) and brother and is liked and accepted by the few she is “out” to and apparently successfully “stealth” with those in whom she has not confided.
And it is odd the way she almost immediately tells Marten, a cis male, of her gender status (when they are just starting to become casual friends) and the way in which he seems totally nonplussed by the revelation, eventually falling in love with her in spite of her unconventional anatomy. (It is never stated outright, but strongly implied that she is pre-op. The author will not comment on this and discourages forum speculation on the subject saying that it should not matter to us and is none of our business. “They’re called ‘private parts’ for a reason,” he likes to say.)
These are all valid points IMHO. In fact, there is one strip in which Claire speaks of the difficulties and dangers she faces on a daily basis as a transwoman, which makes you wonder, “Really?” because we never see any such obstacles or roadblocks. Claire seems to be living an almost perfect transgender existence, sailing through life while many in the real world regularly encounter storms on their seas.
Is depicting such a nice life so bad? Sure, we all know that reality doesn’t work like this and Claire's experience is not typical. But must all fiction be totally realistic? We sometimes need a little escapism – to see a world that doesn't really exist, but should.
Hell, the Claire/Marten saga is not very realistic, but neither are sitcoms, rom-coms and romance novels. (Growing up in the 60s, I wanted to be one of the Brady kids, though I knew that such perfect families simply do not exist.) The Claire/Marten tory shows what it should be like for us – a world in which transgenderism is seemingly no big deal to others.
It’s a “feel good” thing to read. I am in no ways a romantic; rather, a cynic dealing with the country I love falling apart (VOTE, people!!!) and the concurrent slow deterioration of my body due to Parkinson's Disease. And yet, I found myself grinning at the exploits of these two souls, rooting for them to end up a couple, feeling some strong emotions. (I cried a little at the scene in which Claire first disrobes in front of Marten; her hesitance and fear, and the beautiful way he responds.) Yeah, it's silly, but it was nice to experience a little joy in the midst of the crap pile a/k/a my life.
You can find Questionable Content at http://questionablecontent.net – all the strips are there. The primary Claire/Marten arc starts at about strip #2323 (when Claire first reveals her trans status to Marten) and culminates at about #2901, after which Claire becomes just an ensemble member rather than the focus and her trans status is hardly mentioned. (And even when it comes up, it tends to be dropped matter-of-factly, as in the very funny strip #4187.)
If you find QC to your liking or at least interesting, go buy something on Mr. Jacques' website – QC-related stuff is his main source of his income,and talent like his deserves some financial support. Especially someone so trans-friendly.
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| Wearing Kirundo |
Min pappa Marianne is a Swedish film released earlier this year.
The plot according to IMDb: “After breaking up with her boyfriend, 28 year old aspiring journalist Hanna decides to leave Stockholm and moves back to her parents and brother in her small hometown Alingsås. After getting a job at the local news station, her world is turned upside down when her father, who is a respected priest in the community, informs his family about his lifelong feminine side. Wanting to come out as Marianne, the whole family now have to deal with the consequences this might have for themselves, as well as for the community in large.”
You can view the film’s trailer on YouTube.
Looks very interesting! I hope it is available with English sub-titles real soon now.
(Thank you, Aunty, for the wigs-up.)
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| Wearing Louis Vuitton |
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| After reading my “First Time Out” post, Terry sent me this photo of herself wearing the same Newport-News dress that I wore my first time exploring the world en femme. |
