Lemonade

I received the following e-mail recently.

I am a life-long TV, so I feel able to comment.

My advice to nearly all those who contribute to your blog is simple:

Throw away the cameras and look long and hard in the mirror. Look at the women around you; you should blush with embarrassment. Cover your shoulders and knees and get rid of those “long luscious locks.” Very few women over 40 look good with long hair. None of you (and me) really look anything like women and that is a tragedy.

By the way, I have no photos of me. The last that were taken were 30 years ago for an article in The Times. No! It was 40 years ago – time flies.

Stop being delusional. A mirror does not lie except at a fairground.

Look at the professional femulators and actors. Even they with all the advantages – professional makeup, expensive wigs, etc., are rarely convincing and face the reality of a cruel life.

We’ve all been dealt a lousy hand!

My response: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That is especially true if you are a male-to-female transperson.

We have a lot going against us. Compared to the quintessential woman, we do not compare favorably. We are too tall, too heavy, too wide, too hairy. Our voices are too deep, our faces too masculine, and our bodies too unshapely. We are just too too.

So should we all hide in the closet because we don’t resemble the quintessential woman?

Just like my trans sisters, there are cisgender women who don’t resemble the quintessential woman. Nonetheless, we are all women and we try to make the best with what we have.

And by the way, the mirror does lie. I always look fab when I look at my femme self in the mirror; to see what I really look like, I take a selfie.

And so it goes.

Wearing Boston Proper

Kel Mitchell femulating Oprah (“Okrah”) on television’s All That

Stephanie’s Favorite Photo

Stephanie’s Favorite Photo

Stana and Stephanie

Like you have mentioned, we girls love pictures. They capture a moment in time when everything comes together as we had hoped with our look, a dress, makeup, and sometimes a great experience.

I always dress to pass in public and have been doing so since 1979. The reason I picked the picture of me on the couch in the beige chiffon cocktail dress is simple for me. It is from a Connecticut Outreach Society Holiday Party In Avon (CT) around 1998 and you were also there, as pictured. It’s amazing but you still look the same after all these years.

I had arrived early and was sitting just outside the dining area for our private party when others started to arrive. Eventually, a couple had arrived and it was somewhat obvious that it was a wife with her crossdressed husband. She looked a little uneasy, but I was also impressed that she had made the effort to accompany her husband to support him. She scanned the waiting area and when her eyes met mine, a big grin crossed her face.

She said something to her husband and then left his side and headed toward me. She sat down beside me and introduced herself. I did the same staying in my character as Stephanie. She chatted that she was so nervous being here, but she wanted to support her husband. Then she said she was so happy that I was also here because she thought that she would be the only GG (genetic girl) at the party.

Then it hit me that all this time she thought I was also a GG. Before I could reveal myself she asked me which “gurl” was my husband. Well, I have to tell you I was incredibly flattered, but I also felt bad because I was going to have to let her know that she was still alone in that category unless another GG showed up. So I simply said in my lady voice, “I came alone.”

At first she looked at me as to say, “Why would you come alone?” And then the realization of what I had said hit her.

At first she was stunned and then she said, “I’m so sorry. I thought you were a real woman.”

I must have had the biggest smile ever when I replied, “What are you sorry about? You just gave me the best compliment ever.”

She put her hand on my leg and started to laugh. “I guess you’re right. You really do look lovely and that dress is perfect.”

I do think another wife came, but whenever there was a break in the festivities, she would come my way and simply do girl talk. It was a wonderful night and I wish I knew her now to say thank you for a great evening.”

Wearing Stuart Weitzman shoes

Ryan Alessi femulating on television’s All That (2019)
You can view Ryan’s femulation on YouTube.
Thank you, Colin, for the info about this femulation.

Someday Funnies

Wearing London Times

Jeff Kurysz, Nate Santana and Sean Blake femulating in the Chicago stage production of
The Legend of Georgia Brown McBride.

We Wear Short Shorts

👠 👠 👠 I appreciate all who critiqued my recent wardrobe additions. And I was not offended by any of your candid solicited comments. Thank-you!

👠 👠 👠 Grocery shopping today, a middle-aged woman complimented the new top I was wearing.

👠 👠 👠 Loving the new underwear I am wearing. Unlike tidy-whities, wearing panties are a constant reminder that I am a lady even in boy mode.

👠 👠 👠 During a recent visit to Fictionmania, I got a kick out of Aunt Hildie's A Guide to the Proper Lady Lifestyle, tongue-in-cheek instructions on “how to be a proper lady.” I love the Guide’s line “while a male can never become a woman, he can become a lady.”

👠 👠 👠 A number of readers informed me that Payless shoe stores will return after shutting down last year. According to the Daily News, “The footwear company launched its website Tuesday, but brick-and-mortar stores will take a little longer... Over the next five years, Payless plans to open between 300 and 500 stores across the continent.”

👠 👠 👠 Long-time Femulate fan from France, Virginia, wanted to know what color is my hair. I told her and am telling you, too, in case you want to femulate moi! (LOL) Nutmeg-F is the color of all my blond wigs from Noriko.

Wearing Estate Destinations

A ladies’ room in California circa 1960

Pain-Demic

The daily pain-demic routine is getting to me. I almost look forward to my weekly grocery run!

Last week’s grocery run was special. The grocery store is hiring and when I arrived at the store Thursday morning, there was a line of people waiting to be interviewed. All the ladies in line were dressed appropriately – skirts, dresses, hosiery, heels, makeup, etc. I have not seen such a feminine display since the last time I dressed up and looked in the mirror!

Speaking of which... I have been dressing up to participate in a monthly Zoom board of directors meeting of my ham radio group. I am a director, secretary and the only attendee who presents as a lady. When I zoomed in last Friday afternoon, another director complimented me on how I looked.

I will have to consult with Miss Manners on this: Is it proper for a male to compliment how another male looks when he is presenting as a woman? Probably not, but I needed that and graciously thanked him for the compliment.

After the board meeting, I usually take some photos because I am already made-up, bewigged and have some new outfits to model, as was the case this past Friday. Three new dresses and a new pair of shoes arrived since the last board meeting – two dresses from Venus, one from Haband and a new pair of heels from Nine West. The Femulator photo below shows moi in one of the Venus dresses and the Nine West heels. My previous two posts show me in the Haband dress and other Venus dress.

I love the Nine West heels, but I have to break them in before I wear them out. Maybe all they need is Insolia inserts. I’ll try that before I wear them again.

The Venus cold shoulder shirt dress has two problems:

1. The surplice style V-neck plunges too low and reveals my bra. A safety pin or velcro will fix that easily.

2. The style of the dress may be too young for an old lady like me. I will wear it around the house, but am a little hesitant about wearing it out. (Comments?)

The Venus twofer trim detail dress is just my style. Figure-hugging and very classy – I can’t wait to wear it out.

The Haband layered-look rib-knit dress only cost $12.97. I have purchased Haband shorts, tops and sneakers in the past, but never a dress because I usually don’t find their dresses that attractive. However, this Haband offering caught my eye and will be perfect accessorized with boots when the cooler weather arrives.

That’s all, folks.

Wearing Unique Vintage

Wearing Venus dress and Nine West heels

10 Films To Watch After Watching Netflix's Trans Film Documentary

Romain Duris femulating in The New Girlfriend

ScreenRant recommended 10 films to view after watching Netflix’s eye-opening documentary about the depiction of trans people in film and TV.

According to ScreenRant, “Netflix's latest documentary, Disclosure: Trans Lives On Screen, is an in-depth look at how the lives and personalities of transgender people are depicted in films and television. While a tad divisive in its opinions (Is Tootsie offensive? Is there anything wrong with the film Boys Don't Cry? Should Silence of the Lambs be taken so seriously?) the film has its heart in the right place and it is sobering to hear the voices who, for decades, weren't allowed to be heard.”

ScreenRant lists ten films that “show the transgender community in a positive light... where filmmakers got it right.”

I have seen five of the recommended ten and don’t agree with all of their selections, but that’s just my humble opinion. I would add these five films in addition to ScreenRant’s suggestions: Better Than Chocolate, Breakfast on Pluto, Bruno, Just Like A Woman and my current favorite, The New Girlfriend.

Wearing New York & Company

Wearing Haband

Too Tall? No Way!

By Carollyn Olson

For many crossdressers, being tall is a major concern and problem. But it shouldn’t be.

I’ve stopped counting the number of times I’ve been told, by those reading my series of Tricks of the Trade crossdressing advice books, that “I can't crossdress because I'm too tall.”

My response, to put it bluntly, is (fill in the blank)!!!

Height has very little to do with crossdressing! Just look around! How can you miss seeing tall, beautiful women? They are everywhere! And you can be a tall and beautiful woman as well with a little confidence and the complementing wardrobe.

Women are as pretty as ever. They’re also taller and their shoe, dress, skirt and jeans sizes are bigger. The average height and weight for a woman has increased by one inch to 5’4” and has gone from 150 to 166 pounds in the last 20 years.

When I started crossdressing almost 40 years ago, the Internet did not exist. In the department stores, I could not find decent fashions, let alone shoes that fit. Women’s dress sizes seemed to stop at size 12 to 14 before one had to go in to the large woman or maternity section. Nice heels over size 10 were nearly impossible to find. I somehow managed, but girls today are so fortunate with almost all their needs available in the stores and on the Internet.

I stand close to 6’3” in heels, weigh about 175 pounds and I have never heard a negative comment regarding my height or my body shape. Why? It’s probably due to my “learned” feminine style and fashion sense, body language and mannerisms. If you carry yourself properly, nobody will even think of you as anything other than a woman.

Recently, I was standing in a crowded concessions line at a public event and one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever set eyes upon walked up behind me. She had shoulder length blonde hair and was wearing a lovely long sweater and skinny jeans tucked inside her 4-inch heel boots. She stood at least 6’7”, maybe 6’8”.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a few people “gawk” at us as we chatted (maybe they thought we were basketball players or at least she was), but nobody made a disparaging comment. Why would they? We were just two tall women chatting while awaiting our order. What may have been “rare or abnormal” in the past is now “the norm.”

I have a number of crossdressing friends, among them Jamie Grae and Jennifer Williams, who are from three to five inches taller than me. Height has never stopped any of them from being out-and-about any time they wish.

Confidence is the key to cross-dressing, no matter how tall you are. Locking yourself in the closet because you are “too tall” is a huge mistake. The fear of being too tall can be overcome by going out and having the right clothes, too.

Wearing Ollalaa

Wearing Venus dress and Nine West heels

Someday Funnies

Wearing Balmain

Allison

My story is like so many other girls, starting with mom's clothes, shoes, hiding for years, purging, swearing you'll never crossdress again. Then one day, something happens and you just can't hide anymore. For me it was a heart attack. I knew unless something changed, I would die either from another heart attack or by taking my own life. That's when the long journey began to accept myself as a crossdresser and as a person. It hasn't been easy, but was easier with my wife of 40 years now accepting the whole me, Allison and all. 

She is not enthusiastic about seeing or helping Allison, but it's beyond my wildest dreams that she is still here! Lots of uncomfortable conversations and crying, but something had to change. I always thought suicide was the cowards way out, but found out the hard way that that's not so. I've been at that place, a dark and lonely place. I would say to all the girls CD, trans or otherwise: please seek help, you have done nothing wrong and it doesn't go away. It's made worse by not addressing it somehow. 

I think we can agree, we are all real people and deserve love and respect no matter what side of the closet you get your clothes from or your chromosomes. LGBTQ is real and not a choice. All the politicians have failed us dramatically, not only in this aspect, but in a host of others.

I so enjoy Femulate; thanks for being here for us! Please continue! 

Hugs, Allison!! 

What the Tuck

By Paula Gaikowski

The one thing great about Femulate is that it has built a community where we all feel understood, safe and valued – a place where we can discuss things that our relevant to our needs and lifestyle without judgement and prejudice. Just like ladies elsewhere, however, we do have certain matters that can only be addressed amongst us Femulators. (Throughout this article I’ve used euphemisms in order to be sensitive and to add a bit of humor to an awkward discussion.)

The topic at hand would be the storage and handling of surplus equipment that being, how can I phrase this …ahem Peter, Paul and Mary? …the family jewels? All of which when not stored properly can very much ruin the look of an otherwise very feminine outfit.

Today, I would like to discuss the business of tucking and creating a feminine silhouette when putting our best foot forward. There are three basic methods or schools of thought on how to go about this.

Many prescribe to the taping technique which involves pushing things up into the inguinal canal, wrapping up Frank like a hot dog and securing it all in place with tape. The result, if successful, allows bathroom breaks and an authenticity that will fool your gynecologist.

I’ve watched a bunch of YouTubes on this method and was intrigued to give it a go. Things never seem to go as planned and the hot dog never seems to fit in the bun. Tape always grabs on all the wrong spots pulling and stretching areas that should not be pulled and stretched. You’ll find tons written on this method, but it seems to be a holy grail that I, nor any of my sisters have found. Gosh! There is even one lady who uses crazy glue, Owww!

Less time-consuming and much less painful is the gaff. You find these at any of the stores that cater to our community. There are all different types and they range in price from a few dollars up to hundreds. At the low end, there are the cloth gaffs made to pull back and hide all that is not feminine. They are very simple, but I find them to be uncomfortable and unnecessary. Midway you’ll find control garments that add a camel toe for those who want to add a touch of realism. The top end at hundreds of dollars are the silicon second skins that make me just a bit uncomfortable for some reason.

Finally, a technique perfected at Femulate Laboratories in New England and used by Stana and many sisters globally and will guarantee a look sure to pass the Crocodile Dundee Test. The control panty, whether it be light control or firm, works well for me to put things in perspective. A little push, a little shove, up and over, there you go SRS on a low budget. I typically finish off my silhouette with a Spanx-like garment with all the needed hip pads to add those curves as seen in the accompanying photo.

I’d like to finish up with just one note that’s bit personal. So just between us girls, if you lean forward over our cups of tea, I’ll whisper. Sometimes when getting out of the shower, I wonder how things might look down there if the universe hadn’t taken a wrong turn. A quick and easy system made to produce the look of XX is to take a light-weight sock and place it midway over Mary and her two sisters and pull back until they are out of sight. The sock then goes cheek to cheek where it keeps things in the feminine perspective. For me, it’s powerful and validating to see things just this way and for a few minutes, I can walk around the room and be free.

Wearing Boston Proper

RuPaul femulating in the 1995 film The Brady Bunch Movie.
Click here to view a clip..

Fooling with FICA

FICA is the acronym for “Federal Insurance Contributions Act.” FICA tax is the money that is taken out of workers' paychecks to fund Social Security and Medicare. It is a mandatory payroll deduction.

Saturday evening, the impeached president (IMPOTUS) announced that he wants to defer FICA payments for the rest of the year and suggested that if he is re-elected, he would forgive the deferred FICA payments owed and permanently eliminate the FICA tax.

I was employed for over 50 years paying my fare share of FICA tax with every paycheck. And now IMPOTUS wants to defund and thus, bankrupt Social Security and Medicare!*

I urge you to do all you can to stop IMPOTUS from wrecking Social Security and Medicare. My wife and I, along with millions of other senior citizens (like many of this blog’s readers), will be bankrupted if IMPOTUS gets his way.

So complain to your congressperson and senators and vote early to kick IMPOTUS out of the White House.

* IMPOTUS claimed that his plan to eliminate the FICA tax would not affect Social Security and Medicare. If you believe that, there is a bridge spanning the East River that I would like to sell you.

Wearing Venus

Kamil Bijos femulates Sylwia Grzeszczak on Polish television’s Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo