Chat Me Up Redux – Part 1

My recent Chat Me Up post received a bunch of Comments that you can read at the bottom of that post. It also generated a batch of emails, which you can read following this period.


Stana

I have a few minutes to chat about this topic, however I really need hours of therapy to pull back the layers of the onion.

I have always loved getting flattering emails from men about my photos, it definitely stirs something inside. Over the years I have had some very personal exchanges with these guys. I always cut them off rather quickly because of how fast they escalated, and because how much I enjoyed them.

I believe I have always suppressed my feelings for men because of cultural taboos, but now at this age I can say that I'd be happy as a woman with a man.

Now your question was about being approached by men, I can recall two incidents worthy of mention.

First in Toronto Canada, I was waiting in the hotel lobby and a guy asked if I was  Lisa Somebody? I said no and we started chatting, the hotel parking, cold weather, and he ended with introducing himself and inviting me to meet later that evening for a drink in the hotel bar. I felt a wave come over me, like never before, I was just so filled with joy. That said I was scared crazy and hid in my room that evening.

The next time was in Madison Wisconsin, I was supposed to meet another girl like us at the bar, she never showed, but I struck up a conversation with a guy about 10 years younger than me, and we talked about hi-tech and then he started getting  a bit drunk and started telling me about problems with his wife. He put his hand on my knee a few times and I brushed it away, however I can say it was arousing. It was so validating that he was attracted to me as a female. Someone he knew came into the bar and he disappeared...

Paula Gaikowski

👠 👠 👠

Hello Stana

In regard to your blog about men.

Not been approached for a good while but when I was younger , and then confident , I wanted to catch peoples eyes at times when out as Diana (and to some degree even now if I am dressed well and know I look good) .

I used to go many Crossdressing events/balls and so some regular ones too !!  – and many were in hotels.

On two occasions in the public bar going to the event entrance I have been noticed.

First time I was wearing a quite striking outfit , and felt great. The man concerned saw me enter the bar ( and me him) then he watched me move through.

Naturally I smiled , and when I was close he asked me to stop for a drink.  It was nice but I did the lady like “ Thank you but I am meeting someone” . It was good ego boost.

Second time I stopped at the bar to get a drink going to the entrance. While the barman was pouring the wine. I felt a arm go around me waist.

Slightly shocked it took resolve to remain calm. So I turned my head to look at the person. Man about my age. He looked at me and asked “ Hello darling let me get that for you “

My first thought was “ Yes, I’ve cracked it”, swiftly followed by “Shit I don’t want this”. When my drink arrived , I handed over the money telling my intruder “ No thank you I am with someone”.

Peeled his and off my waist , grabbed the wine and left.  [ If he had followed me into the event he would have had a shock]. Again great for me ego.

I may have mentioned the episode below to you before, so apologies if I have.

The only time it went further was purely by accident, not design. As I mentioned above I used to go to events and balls, mainly in London.

As a single girl , the Beaumont Society had a buddy system where fellow crossdressers would escort you on a night out. I used to have a regular man who was willing and perfect. Army man , married with 2 young kids, and nearly 6ft tall.

This event was a “normal” dinner dance that we got free tickets for.  As was usual I had hired an evening gown. In this instance an amazing silk/satin gown , and I felt truly feminine in it ( stockings and suspender lingerie !!). When he collected me he was impressed and said I looked gorgeous, which any girl wants to hear. He took me to the event. All went well as we were good friends. Food over ,  and as on previous occasions,  we were on the dance floor having a boogie when the music slowed. He took me into a waltz style hold , nice and close, for a slow number. And it felt really good. He was relaxed , his body next to mine, and the music played. He started to caress me through the silk/satin, which felt glorious and pull me closer. I was enjoying that. So after a minute or so I looked up at him. he looked down at me and then without any warning – he kissed me. And I mean really kissed me , pulling me closer. I reacted and kissed him back. All I remember was this was serious passionate kissing and nice !! All of sudden he stopped and pulled away. A look of horror on his face. He just said  “ Oh my god I am very sorry” and ran off. I was still in a stunned state and slowly walked off. It was only then the realisation of what had just happened struck me.  I had been by kissed a man , kissed him back and enjoyed it !!! Needless to say this did create a massive level of confusion , one that never went away. Was I a man who liked to dress and pass as a woman or a woman who had the wrong body.

We had to have a very long and open chat when we finally were back in our seats (and strong drinks).  We agreed to never talk about it to anyone. He was terrified I would tell his wife or make trouble that had kissed another woman with feelings. ( not withstanding I was really a man). I was more than happy to agree as confused as to why I kissed him back (and enjoyed it)

On reflection I think it was because I felt truly a sexy woman. I had dressed in a very sexual manner with the silk lingerie under that silk/satin dress , and the professional make up lady had made me look very attractive. I felt sexy when I saw the how I looked.

So I think feeling like that had stirred me and obviously stirred my date. So when we were body to body , his arms around me and the dress gliding over me , it only took him caressing me to take me over the edge and make him aroused. That one moment was all it took and Wham !!!   As you can see it had a huge effect on me. Although I have never experienced anything remotely like it again with anyone.

Even now many decades later whenever I think about that or read it - everything comes flooding back. Very emotional. Its hard to explain how I feel.

One part is very proud that I must have looked very feminine and sexy that a married man thought enough of me to lose control and kiss me.

Another part thinks was I at that point in life really a woman in the making , should I have taken the next step?.

I did consider that perhaps I was a homosexual after all but that was soon dismissed as don’t like men much anyway.

I think its a difficult area , one I have never resolved. I always wanted to convince a man I was really a woman and having done so to the ultimate degree I have made life more complicated.

I have a feeling I told you all this before but as it was relevant to your blog and I was sat at the computer I typed it from memory.

I may have given you the more detailed version previously which would have been copied from the book I wrote to record all my life events

Hope all is well in Connecticut

Love Diana x

👠 👠 👠

Wearing St. John

Karl Davies femulating in a 2018 episode of British television’s Shakespeare & Hathaway:Private Investigators

Not My Size

I mentioned in a previous post that I worked in the clothing receiving department of Caldor during the summer of 1969. Before that summer job, I worked part-time after school printing signs for in-store sales.

My print “shop” was in the mezzanine that surrounded the sales floor... in a secluded and unfinished portion of the mezzanine. It was like working in an unfinished attic.

Next to my “office” was a pile of shoe boxes – shoes that customers returned for a refund or exchange. Naturally, I perused the returns and tried on all the high heels that were there, but sadly, they were all too small.

Wearing Tommy Bahama

Tyler James Williams dressed up in a 2013 episode of television's Go On

Wig Out Without

As a novice femulator, I always wore a wig cap under my wig. Not sure why. Other wig wearers wore wig caps, so I assumed they knew what they were doing and I just followed their lead. I thought that maybe it helped hide your real hair (if you had any), but I was never sure.

Large cap size head that I have, most wig caps were too tight and left red welts on my forehead. Occasionally, a tight wig cap would give me a headache, too.

Also, wig caps were hot. They essentially added an extra layer underneath the wig and caused sweating especially in the warmer weather. Sweat running down loads of makeup did not make for a pretty picture.

The last straw was when a tight wig cap worked its way off my head and ended up all balled-up under my wig!

After that, I swore off wig caps. No more wig cap welts, headaches and sweat. And my wigs did not notice the difference – they stayed in place and did not stray from my head.

There are some benefits to wearing a wig cap. You can read about them here, but they do not apply to me and I will remain wig capless ’til the day I dye.

Wearing Balmain

Phillipe Blond

Summer of 1969

Housecleaning, I turned up some 40-year-old packages of pantyhose. One pair came from Kmart and two pairs came from Caldor.

Summer of 1969, I worked in the receiving department of Caldor where I unpacked and sorted women's clothing all day long.

One day, a co-worker, who must have sensed my feminine vibe, suggested that it must be my dream job because I got first shot at all the new dresses and lingerie before it went on the floor for sale to the public. He even showed me a private backroom where I could try on the clothing that I might like to purchase.

To defend my 18-year-old masculinity, I denied any interest in what he suggested.

Boy or girl wearing Lafayette 148 New York?

Stephen Carr femulating in a 1952 episode of television’s Adventures of Superman

Out with the Old

In general, girls like us don’t femulate 24/7. Once a week, twice a month, once a month, etc. is more like it. As a result, we do not consume cosmetics as quickly as girls who makeup their faces every day. So we tend to hold onto and use makeup that is past its expiration date.

“Besides the fact that old makeup doesn't hold up too well, if you're not careful, it can even be harmful to your skin and cause irritation.”

Here is a summary of when you should discard makeup after opening it. For further reading, I refer you to this Insider article.

Blush – 2 years

Eyeshadow – 2 years

Foundation and Primer (products for the face) – 2 years

Lipstick – 1 year

Liquid Eyeliner – 3 months

Mascara – 3 months

Pencil Eyeliner – 1 year

By the way, this symbol appears on makeup labels to indicate how long the product will last after you've opened it, in this case, 24 months.

Keep being pretty!

Wearing Gauge81

Luis Montalbert femulates Gloria Trevi on Costa Rican television's Tu Cara Me Suena

Chat Me Up

Paula wrote, “As one woman to another, and excuse me if this is a silly question, but why don't more girls write to you about being approached by men... and enjoying it. It has happened to me twice recently and I was absolutely flattered. I think it is the ultimate compliment.”

I don’t know why more girls don’t write to me about being approached by men.

I have had numerous men check me out and that in itself is a compliment. But I have never had a man take the next step and chat me up. Have you?

If you have been approached by a man, how did it go? How did you handle it? How did it end?

Inqueering minds want to know, so comment below about your close encounters with men. Or send me your stories via e-mail (click on the “send me e-mail” link below my photo in the sidebar.

I’m all ears.

Wearing Bebe

Femulating in the mid-20th Century

Gulag Gurls

The image in the Femulator slot of Saturday’s post depicted “British prisoners of war femulating in a show at Stalag 383 during World War II.” That image resulted in comments and questions from you readers wondering about the soldiers femulating in that photo.

Years ago, I wondered about POW crossdressing and did some research on the matter. The results of that research appeared here almost two years ago to the day and I am repeating that post below to help clear things up. If you have further questions, I will try to answer them.    

Cassidy wrote, “Quick question. I, from time to time see on your blog and others WWI and WWII POWs dressed as women (femulating) and performing for other inmates. I always wondered where they got the clothing to do so. Could you offer an answer?”

I had the same question when I discovered all the photos of POW femulations.

I wondered if the Geneva Convention required every POW facility to be stocked with the latest in female clothing, wigs, makeup, etc., to permit the prisoners to dress en femme?

Did the POW camp commander ring up his favorite dress shop and order some frocks for the prisoners whenever they wanted to put on a show?

I asked those questions (with tongue in cheek), but I was curious because it seemed to me that these “girls” were not wearing homemade outfits put together from scraps of material that they scrounged up in camp. Rather they were dressed as fashionable women of the day would dress in outfits that came off the rack of women's clothier.

What's the real story?

With nothing but time on their hands, the POWs would make their costumes using whatever scraps of material they could find, repurpose or barter from the prison guards. They even made high heel shoes! If you ever saw the film The Great Escape, it shows the prisoners making civilian clothing and Nazi uniforms (for their escape) the same way.

(Reminds me of the time before I had the courage to shop for women's clothing in person that I made a red satin micro-miniskirt from a scrap of material that my mother had left over from a sewing project.)

As they say, “Where there's a will, there's a way.”

On the other hand, there were POWs who performed as female impersonators for the troops before imprisonment and brought their makeup and gowns along with them into captivity. Since wigs were a scarce commodity, some of the "girls" were permitted to grow their hair out!

Addendum: I am aware of two films that depict POW femulations: La Grande Illusion and The Bridge on the River Kwai. In the former, officers are the femulators, whereas in the latter, enlisted men do the femulating.

(Sources: The Barbed-Wire University: The Real Lives of Prisoners of War in the Second World War by Midge Gilles; Cultural Heritage and Prisoners of War: Creativity Behind Barbed Wire by Gilly Carr and Harold Mytum)

Wearing London Times

When Bombardier Arthur Butler of the 122nd Field Regiment Royal Artillery transformed himself into Gloria D’Earie she became ‘exquisite’. She made all her own costumes and moved and spoke just like a woman. Butler was a professional female impersonator and widely regarded as the best in Changi. His act was so convincing that some men found it too painful: they would rather not be reminded of what a woman looked like as it made their separation from wives and sweethearts harder to bear. (Source: The Barbed-Wire University: The Real Lives of Prisoners of War in the Second World War by Midge Gillies)

Not THAT Passable

Wearing Venus

Elijah Wood (film actor, not the drummer) femulating on British television’s Friday Night Project

Better Red?

I have a box of wigs that I have purchased over the years that I no longer wear. I had some time to kill before my Zoom presentation last week, so I decided to try on every wig in the box.

A couple looked good on me and I will wear them again. A few that I recall looking good on me in the past did nothing for me now. And the majority did not look good at all; I wondered what possessed me to buy them in the first place. Maybe they looked better on a younger and/or fatter me – go figure.

One that I don’t recall purchasing nor wearing interested me. Did I buy it and never wear it? I don’t recall, but I thought with a little cleaning and grooming, it might look nice on me. It is a Paula Young wig called Chantel in copper red, a color that I often wore until I went blond 15 years ago.

That’s me wearing Chantel in the accompanying photo. Is it a keeper or a loser?

Wearing Ollalaa

Elijah Wood, Shania Twain’s former drummer (not the film actor)

Someday Funnies

Wearing Venus

British prisoners of war femulating in a show at Stalag 383 during World War II.