My Not So Secret Identity

When I was closeted, my secret identity was a well-kept secret. People who knew Stana, only knew Stana and people who knew Stan, only knew Stan.

After I left the closet, people who only knew Stan, now knew Stana, too. To confuse matters, Stan no longer existed to some of the people who only knew Stan – they only know Stana. On the other hand, since I am not Stana full-time, there are people who know me as both Stan and Stana, like the staffs at my hairdresser, bank, doctor's office, grocery store, former employer, the boutiques I regularly patronize, etc.

Then there are the people, who I met after I came out of the closet. They never knew Stan and only know Stana.

I almost need a scorecard to keep everything straight (if you can call that “straight”).

I should be straight with everyone and that would make life easier, but there are some people who cannot handle the truth... mostly relatives who have known Stan (and only Stan) for decades. But now that I think about it, some of those relatives have seen “Halloween Stana,” so they might not be as surprised as I think they might be.

If I can only convince my wife about going full-time, but that is probably a bridge to far. Then again, maybe not.

Wearing Eloquii

British professional femulators Colin Ross and Terry Bartlett, circa 1940

Tuesday Shorts

Over the weekend I received an advertisement email from ShopBAZAAR, which featured the image above.

There are a lot of mixed messages being sent in that image. I studied it for awhile and I am not sure what to make of it.

Is the model male or female? Is ShopBAZAAR selling this outfit to boys or girls or both?

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This year, Groundhog Day is the same forward or backward, more or less... 2020 0202!

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Why did Jennifer Lopez wrap herself in the national flag of Brazil at the Golden Globes Sunday night?

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Commenting on a short suit I wore, Pat wrote, “I simply love your outfit and thinks your legs are gorgeous! I’m also a tall girl and reluctant to wear heels because of it, but you’ve now given me courage!”

I wrote back, “Thank you for the kind words. My mother often remarked that with my shapely legs, I should have been a girl!” (Guess what, Mom?)

“Anyway, my attitude regarding heels is that being 6 feet 2 inches tall, wearing flats or heels is not going to be the deal breaker as to whether I pass or not.”

As a result, I wear the highest heels that I can stand!

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Don't be shy! Ask me anything and I promise to respond honestly. However, I reserve the right to respond to snarky questions with snarky answers.

So, don't wait. Click on the "send me e-mail" link under my photo in the right column and ask away.

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I want to publicly thank Linda. Every New Year, she kindly sends me a disc containing all the new and old stories, about 15,000 files in all, posted on Fictionmania. So thank you, Linda!

Wearing ModCloth

Masahiro Matsuoka (left) femulates in Japanese television's Kaseifu no Mitazono, which according to IMDB, is about Kaoru Mitazono, a professional housekeeper who is the best in the field and loves to pry into dirty secrets of every household. But Mitazono has secrets, too. One of them is that he is a cross dresser.

Go West, Young Woman

Since the demise of the Payless shoe store chain, I have received emails asking what do I do now to put new shoes on my feet.

I miss Payless. Their prices were very reasonable, they had stores everywhere and they carried shoes in larger sizes to fit ladies like us.

On the other hand, their sizes were inconsistent. I recall trying on shoes at a local Payless and finding shoes that fit me in three different sizes! That is not a big deal if you shopped in the store, but that made shopping online a crapshoot. Luckily, they had an easy return policy – you could ship returns back to Payless or return them to a local store.

Those days are gone with the wind. So, I took Horace Greeley's advice: Go West, young woman! That is, Go Nine West to be specific.

Actually, I have been purchasing shoes from Nine West for years; just not as often as Payless.

Nine West has a couple of things going for it. The quality of their shoes is very good, whereas the quality of Payless shoes occasionally failed. Their sizes are very consistent – I never had to return a Nine West purchase because the shoe size was unfit (or for any other reason). And like Payless, they have shoes for ladies with larger feet.

On the other hand, they have few, if any, local stores. (There was a Nine West store in a local mall, but not anymore). Also, their prices are higher than the Payless experience. But, they always have sales and I just wait to purchase that shoe to-die-for until it goes on sale.

And so my feet go.

Wearing Nine West

Massimo Bellinzoni (left) in the 1992 Italian film What A Night (Nottataccia).

Someday Funnies

Wearing Morilee

Alec Baldwin femulating for television's Saturday Night Live

Godzilla Vs. Frankenstein

When I was five years old, my Mom took my sister and I to the State Theater in Waterbury to see Godzilla, King of the Monsters! 

When we arrived at the State, the line of people buying tickets extended from the theater up East Main Street and around the corner onto Brown Street. Mom did not want to wait in line with two youngsters in tow, so we took the Baldwin Street bus back home and returned a few days later to see Godzilla when the line was shorter.

That film gave me nightmares for years! Especially the scene where a throng of people climb a hill and lo and behold, Godzilla shows up at the top of the hill!

I recalled this while watching Godzilla: King of the Monsters on New Years Eve. This is the 2019 entry in the Godzilla saga and having seen a lot of other entries in the saga, my expectations were not high. Surprisingly, the film was very good. The film brings back a couple of my favorite monsters (Rodan and Mothra), its soundtrack uses music from the first Godzilla film and the climactic battle of the monsters takes place in Fenway Park!

Thinking about my Godzilla nightmares, I also recalled that my Mom told me that she had nightmares for years after her mother took her to see Frankenstein when she was a youngster.

Like mother, like daughter!

Wearing Brahmin

Akihiro Miwa

Modi Operandi

Happy New Year!

Wearing Badgley Mischka

Guy and Gal, circa 1968

Sticking My Neck Out

I have sun damage on the sides of my neck.

All of the foundations I have used only cover the damage temporarily and sooner or later (usually sooner), the red skin shows through.

Visiting Sephora a few years ago, I asked a sales rep what they had to correct the problem. The rep suggested using a color correcting foundation primer from Smashbox. It is green and it goes on where needed under your normal foundation.

I bought the primer and used it on a few occasions, but I was not impressed with its performance and abandoned it resigning myself to depending on the coverage my foundation provided. Switching from a powder to liquid foundation provided longer coverage, but was not a final solution.

About a month ago, I saw an advertisement for Gold Bond Ultimate Neck & Chest Firming Cream and I thought it might help.

I bought a tube online and when it arrived, I applied it on my neck in the morning after shaving and cleansing my face. Gold Bond recommends applying it in the evening, too, but I usually forgot and only used a couple of times at night.

Anyway, after using it for about a week, I noticed a big improvement. The sun damage was less apparent because the redness was gone – the color of the damaged parts of my neck matched the color of the rest of my neck. Now one has to get up close and personal to notice the damage.

I am a very happy customer, use the cream daily and recommend it highly.

Wearing Bebe

Jason Segal femulates Cher for Halloween on television's How I Met Your Mother.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Joie

Eric Stonestreet femulates Meghan Markle on television's Modern Family.

My Favorite Angel

Who was your favorite angel?

In my opinion, Farrah Fawcett had more fans than the other two angels combined. She had the hair, she had the poster and she had the most publicity.

Despite Farrah’s popularity, my favorite angel was Jaclyn Smith. In my opinion, Jaclyn was more beautiful and sexier than the other angels. And she was the angel I wanted to be!

Fast-forward about ten years... I was attending my first transgender convention. A famous Hollywood makeup artist was at the convention doing makeovers for the attendees. After witnessing his demo in which he transformed an average-looking transgirl into a glamorous queen, I signed up for a makeover (it would be my first makeover ever).

During my makeover, I asked him which Hollywood actresses he had worked with and he rattled off a few names. Then I mentioned that I thought Jaclyn Smith was one of the most beautiful women among the current crop of stars (circa 1985). He responded that he had done Jaclyn's makeup a few times and that she had lousy skin that required a lot of work!

After bursting my balloon, he patched it up by adding that I had better skin than Jaclyn Smith!

Wearing Venus

Alex Newell

Leftovers

You sent me a lot of the Christmas images to post in the Femulator slot below... so many that I had a small backlog by the time the big day arrived. So before the Christmas cheer wears off and the visions of sugar plums stop dancing in your head, I am posting all of your remaining Christmas images below!

Thank you again and Happy Boxing Day!

Wearing Valentino

Carollyn's Christmas Greetings

Peggy Sue’s Christmas selfie

Laura wishes you all a Merry Christmas!

Jeanine is surrounded by good friends and holiday cheer!

Aunty Marlena sends her Christmas greetings!