Confrontation

Newly-wed femulation (October 1983)

In last Thursday's post about revealing yourself to your spouse, I wrote, "I flew blindly as I dated and married, never telling my bride what was going on until she confronted me after another Halloween fling as a girl."

Alyson commented, "I would love to hear more about the the time your wife confronted you."

So here's the story.

I dated my future wife for nearly three years before we married and during that time, I stopped crossdressing completely, which supported the urban legend that marriage would cure crossdressing. So I did not tell my bride about my crossdressing past because I was cured and why spoil a good thing.

While we were dating, my future bride did see an old photo of me crossdressed for a Halloween party, so she did know I crossdressed once.

We wedded in late September and got invited to a Halloween party in October.

I reopened Pandora's Box when I suggested that we attend as a crossdressed couple, me as a she and my wife as a he.

My wife dressed like a workman with a fake mustache and looked like one of the Mario Brothers. I dressed as a blond office girl and looked so convincing that another guest wanted to know why I wasn't in costume.

So now my wife knew I crossdressed twice.

In the meantime, I started crossdressing at home with full steam ahead and when the next Halloween party came up, I suggested crossdressing again and donned my French maid costume to show my wife what I intended to wear.

Initially, my wife was mum, but two or three days later over dinner, she asked, "Do you like to wear women's clothes more often than Halloween?"

I told her the truth and she was very supportive. She bought me lingerie and jewelry and suggested that I find a support group, which I did and the rest is herstory.

Truth be told, over the years, my wife's support has ebbed and flowed. She would prefer that I was not a femulator, but she accepts her girly hubby's "hobby" and life goes on.

Wearing Michelle Mason (Source: Intermix)

Bernard Cribbins cuts a fine figure in the 1964 British film Carry On Spying.

Finding Girls & Boys

In October 2017 (can it be that long ago!), I wrote about Girls & Boys, "a short 2015 Swedish film that depicts high school life in a matriarchy, 'a world where girls are hunters and boys are the catch.'" There is a trailer and a teaser for the film online, but nowhere could I find how to view or purchase the film itself.

Over the weekend, my post about the film received an anonymous comment indicating that the film was now available for rental and purchase from Vimeo for $3 and $6 respectively. I immediately went to Vimeo, purchased the film, downloaded it and watched it.

Girls & Boys is not a crossdressing film per se; rather it is a gender role reversal film with males dressing and acting like 21st Century females and females dressing and acting like 21st Century males except that no one reconfigures their body to emulate the opposite sex as crossdressers do; males do not wear falsies and hip pads and the females do not bind their breasts.

The film was as good as its trailer and teasers suggested. And it had English subtitles for those not Swedish-conversant.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

One of the boys in Girls & Boys, a 2015 Swedish film

Spring Snow ― Oh No!

Ready to go-go to the True Colors Conference

On Friday, I staffed the Information table at the True Colors Conference at UConn in Storrs, Connecticut.

I have regularly attended this conference during the past dozen years and I often regret my choice of clothing. It is usually colder and windier in Storrs than at home, so I end up underdressed for the weather.

This year, the forecast was for a cold, rainy and windy morning, so I dressed appropriately. Instead of a skirt or dress, I wore leggings and I am glad that I did. Not only was it cold and windy, but is snowed heavily for a few hours during my stay at Storrs.

Except for spilling a fresh cup of coffee, getting femulated proceeded in a timely manner and I arrived at the UConn Student Union at 9:45 AM, 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Two old friends were already seated at the Information table and we three staffed the table throughout the day.

I met up with a few other friends and handled a lot of questions from strangers attending the conference. There were a lot of school-aged kids presenting in their true gender and that made me happy ― wish I could have presented in my true gender at their age instead of hiding in the closet.

I don't like driving in the snow especially since my car's tires are balding, so I decided to exit early (at 3 PM) when there was a break in the weather. Although there was snow on the ground, the roads were just wet, so I returned home in about an hour without incident.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Charles Hawtrey femulates in the 1969 British film Carry On Again, Doctor.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Jiang Du femulating in the 2016 Chinese film Mr. High Heels.

Reading Hannah is Worth It

Hannah

Hannah wrote a great blog post that she published this morning. She offers great advice about handling our transness with regard to our spouses and I highly recommend reading it if you have a significant other.

I just wish I had received her advice when I was dating and marrying back in the Triassic Era. 

Jumping on the time machine and traveling back to the late 1970s finds me in the closet honing my crossdressing skills while hoping to be invited to some Halloween bash, which was my only public outlet for my "hobby" back then.

I knew very little about my hobby. After nearly 20 years of crossdressing, I was getting pretty good at it, but I had no idea what was behind it. I was sure I wasn't a gay, but I wasn't sure I was a guy.

There was no Internet to inform me, nor was there much in the way of literature on the subject. A one-line definition of "transvestite" was all I could find in my family's encyclopedia. So I flew blindly as I dated and married, never telling my bride what was going on until she confronted me after another Halloween fling as a girl.

Read Hannah's post and avoid messing up your relationships with your loved ones.

Wearing Noriko (Source: NameBrandWigs)

Tatiana Sway aka Kevin Michael Perry

Notes on Coming Soon

True Colors Conference, March 2009

Monday's post titled "Coming Soon" listed the public events I will attend this spring, i.e., True Colors Conference, Transgender Lives Conference and Hamvention.

For over a decade, I have regularly attended these events mixing it up with civilians and non-civilian attendees alike. Transgender Lives has more non-civilian attendees than True Colors and Hamvention. Whereas Hamvention has more civilian attendees than Transgender Lives and True Colors. True Colors falls somewhere in between.

True Colors' attendees are primarily LGBT youth and secondarily, their providers (teachers, social workers, etc.) and supporters. First time I attended True Colors in 2007, there was only a small handful of attendees trans-dressed... maybe only two or three who were brave enough to show up presenting in their transgender/true-gender.

Society has changed during the last dozen years and at last year's True Colors, there were many boys and girls in attendance happily presenting in their transgender/true-gender.

Transgender Lives' attendees are primarily transgenders, their providers, supporters and family members. Most transgenders attending Transgender Lives present as their transgender/true-gender  although I have encountered some who attended in their birth gender like the husband and wife who attended one of my "how to femulate" workshops in order to learn how to crossdress (husband wanted to, wife was encouraging, but they did not know where to start).

Transgender Lives and True Colors conferences are very supportive, respective and sympathetic, so all transgenders will feel comfortable attending either event. Adults may feel a little out of place attending the youth-centric True Colors, but the kids are great and when I attend, I receive countless hugs and greetings from people who are young enough to be my grandchildren – it makes me feel great and so maternal that I forget about being an old lady !

Hamvention is completely different... 28,000 civilians and a handful of transgenders attending in their transgender/true-gender.

Ham radio operators are reputed to be on the conservative side of the political spectrum, so that gave me pause when I considered attending Hamvention for the first time in my transgender/true-gender. So the first time (2010), I did not stray from the booth I was staffing during the day and I played it safe in the evening attending my group's banquet one night and a larger banquet the next night accompanied by my supportive and protective female editor.

After eight trips to Hamvention en femme, I learned I had nothing to fear. Friends and acquaintances from the past who knew me en homme were very supportive and treated me like a lady. And civilians assumed I was just another middle-aged woman dragged to Hamvention by her ham radio husband. So I blended in and freely flitted about the convention taking it all in just as I do attending True Colors or Transgender Lives.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Harry S. Franklyn, Roaring Twenties professional femulator 

Coming Soon

Presenting at Hamvention, May 2018

Friday, I will be staffing the Information Booth at the True Colors Conference at my alma mater, University of Connecticut in Storrs, Connecticut. Usually I do a workshop at the conference, but I was late submitting my proposal and there were no slots available. So I volunteered for booth duty.

Next month, on April 27, I will be attending and presenting at the Transgender Lives Conference at the UConn Health Center in Farmington, Connecticut. I will be doing a workshop about the trials, tribulations and successes of crossdressing among civilians in my neck of the woods.

In mid-May, I will be making my annual pilgrimage to the Dayton, Ohio metroplex to attend Hamvention, the biggest ham radio convention this side of the Arctic Circle. Besides staffing my group's booth at the show, I will also make a short presentation at my group's forum to urge folks to contribute to our quarterly publication, which I edit.

And so I go!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Coach Ed femulates again at El Reno (Oklahoma) High School, 2003.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Bradley Miller (Source: Pinterest)

In and Out

What is stylish today may be passé tomorrow, but the day after tomorrow, it may become stylish again.

I have been femulating for 55 years, so I own clothing that has gone around the block more than once. I also regretfully disposed of clothing that came back in style after their exit from my wardrobe.

What to keep and what to trash is a crapshoot, but an article posted on WhoWhatWear provides some guidance in that regard. (Sure glad I saved everything leopard!)

So without further ado, I direct you to "My 55-Year-Old Mom Says These Are the Best Fashion Investments."

Wearing Derek Lam 10 Crosby bag (Source: ShopBop)

Oslo Grace, male womenswear model

What's Up, Doc?

It takes my mind and body a few days (more like weeks) to get used to the switch between standard time and daylight savings time. So to my discombobulated mind and body, the 10:45 AM doctors' appointment on the second day of daylight savings time felt more like 9:45 AM. (The appointment was a six-month follow-up exam for the varicose vein removal procedure I had during the summer.)

Instead of sleeping in late to make up for the time change, not to mention getting over a week-long head cold, I had to get my dupa out of bed early to get pretty for my doctor's appointment. (No one said being a woman is easy!)

The weather forecast was promising with high temps in the mid-50's, so I decided to wear my long-sleeve sweater dress and thereby, forgo heavy outerwear (I did take along a lightweight coat just in case).

Basically, I wore the same outfit I came home wearing after my last visit to the mall, that is, my new Ann Taylor sweater dress and my Payless white kitten heel booties. The only difference was I wore a black bag instead of the fuchsia Jessica Simpson bag.

I arrived at the doctor's office 10 minutes before my appointment. Checking in with the receptionist, I informed her that I had different insurance than when I last visited the office. With a big smile on her face, she said, "It looks like that's not the only thing that's different. You look fantastic!"

"Thank-you," I said as I blushed.

After I handed over my new insurance cards, she asked, "No name change?"

I shook my head no and she asked me to be seated to wait for my appointment.

I cooled my kitten heels for about 20 minutes in the empty waiting room. While I sat there, a female physician's assistant (PA) who works in the office came into the waiting room to get a cup of water from the water machine. She said, "Hello" as she walked back to wherever she came from taking her sweet time to check me out.

Finally, a male PA who I had never encountered before fetched me to begin my appointment, which started off with an ultrasound. He did not react to my female presentation and called me by my male name. He asked me to bare my leg and put on a pair of paper shorts and slippers, then left the examination room to allow me to strip in privacy. I was glad I wore thigh highs rather than pantyhose, so after I took off my booties, I only had to remove the hosiery from one leg, hike up my skirt and slip into the shorts and slippers.

The PA returned, had me lay down on the examination table and began the ultrasound exam. It is painless, but messy because they use a clear gel on the ultrasound probe for better conductivity. When the test is done, they hand you a roll of paper towels to remove the gel from your skin.

The test took about 15 minutes and I passed (no blood clots).

He moved me to the next room where two female nurses took my blood pressure and photos of my leg. One nurse was new to me (I think she was a new employee and in-training), but I had dealt with the other nurse on previous visits and she went gaga over my new appearance. She "loved" my dress, my booties, my hairdo, my makeup; she "loved" everything about me!

She fetched the doctor and when he came in the room, he shook my hand and asked how I was feeling as he examined my leg and viewed the before and after photos of my leg on the nurse's computer screen. He was his usual very pleasant self, but did not show any reaction to my feminine presentation. Then everyone left the room, so I could get dressed.

I had done a thorough job of removing all the gel from my leg, so slipping into my thigh high was not a problem. When fully dressed, I exited the office and drove home.

And so it goes.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Walter Evers (Source: Pinterest)

New pentagon transgender policy limits service members to birth gender

Trump's War on Transgenders Marches On

With all legal hurdles cleared, the pentagon has instituted a new transgender policy that largely limits the military service of transgender persons currently in uniform to their birth gender. If they are unwilling to do so, they could be discharged.

Transgender service members currently serving in the military will only be allowed to continue to serve if they adhere to the dress and grooming standards of their biological gender. Waivers will be allowed on a case-by-case basis but only from the secretaries in charge of the military services.

Read the rest of the story here at ABC News.

Being Ill

The head cold began early last week and peaked on my birthday with a 100 degree body temperature Friday night. That sure put a damper on my family's plans to celebrate my birthday or as it's known in this neck of the woods, my "Stanniversary."

It also resulted in a lack of energy and motivation to post anything here.

And so it goes.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

James "Gypsy" Haake femulates in the 1983 remake of the film To Be Or Not To Be.