Someday Funnies

Wearing Nine West (Source: Nine West)

Raymond Galle (right) femulates in the 1936 French film Club de femmes.

All Play and No Work Makes Jack a Dull Girl

Lavern Cummings

I received an e-mail from Carollyn in response to my "who would I want to femulate?" post. She picked female impersonator Lavern Cummings as the woman she would femulate.

Carollynn wrote, "She was amazing and an icon among the female impersonators. I could never imagine, when I was a teen, how beautiful a man could be when dressed as a woman... and what a performer too."

I was similarly amazed as a pre-teen when I first saw photos of the female impersonators in newspaper ads for New York City's Club 82. Today, having achieved a somewhat passable female presentation myself, I am less amazed. It is just a lot of hard work.

Just like anything else, if you want to achieve something, you have to work at it. To be a successful femulator, just putting on a dress and lipstick will not cut it. You have to study the subject thoroughly, practice what you have learned in your studies, then go back and study some more.

Just like a woman, you have to become an expert in cosmetics, fashions, hair care, etc. You have to follow fashion trends and read fashion magazines.

In addition, as a man trying to be a woman, you have to become an expert in impersonating a woman and learn all the tricks on how to hide the guy and bring out the gal. And once you achieve the look of a woman, you have to learn how to act, walk, move, speak and have mannerisms like a woman. And you have to practice, practice and practice some more.

I am sure that Miss Cummings did not become a femme fatale overnight ― she had to work at it.

And yes, it's a lot of hard work. But the first time a woman compliments you on the way you look or when a man makes a pass at you, you will feel wonderful beyond compare and know it was worth it.

(Caveat Emptor: This post is a rerun from September 2015.)

Wearing Burberry sweater and skirt (Source: MatchesFashion)

Professional femulator Julian Eltinge, circa 1922

Initially Feminine

I have been reading the old Drag magazines that are accessible at Internet Archive and the following article from a 1978 issue (volume 7, number 26) of the magazine fascinated me.

Boys Should Be Girls

LOS ANGELES ― A University of California psychoanalyst says all little boys start life by wishing they were little girls.

This thesis, voice by Dr. Robert Stollar [sic], contradicts the theory of Sigmund Freud, who concluded that all little girls subconsciously wished they were little boys.

Dr. Stollar [sic] told a meeting of the American As­sociation for the Advancement of Science that it was "only natural that all babies would want to be girls because the mother, not the father, is the parent with whom they identify first.''

The doctor says he has treated hundreds of male patients who had trouble switching their ''gender identity" as they grew older. Earlier in life, they had all wanted to be girls, he said.

If this is indeed true, then TVs and TSs are the only people in society who are following their nor­mal God-given urges!

I looked the doctor up and found that he's Dr. Stoller, not Stollar. Wikipedia expands a bit on what the Drag magazine article said.

Drawing on his extensive research with transsexuals and new advances in the science of sex, Stoller advances his belief in "Primary Femininity," the initial orientation of both biological tissue and psychological identification toward feminine development. This early, non-conflictual phase contributes to a feminine core gender identity in both boys and girls unless a masculine force is present to interrupt the symbiotic relationship with the mother.

That fits me perfectly, like a size 12 dress!

(Caveat Emptor: This post is a rerun from February 2016.)

I can't concentrate in flats - Victoria Beckham (Source: Starla)

Professional femulator Courtney Act

A White Christmas

Looks like we are going to have a white Christmas here in Connecticut. Mother Nature blessed us with about an inch of snow Christmas Eve morning.

White Christmas is one of my favorite Christmas movies. The plot has so many holes in it that you can drive a Sherman tank through it, but I love the songs and dances. The film even has a very lame femulation scene performed by Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye (I guess Bing and Danny were saving their femulating skills for other films.)

SundanceTV is having a White Christmas marathon as I write this on Christmas Eve and as luck would have it, when I turned on the television, they were showing the femulation scene!

My other favorite Christmas film is A Christmas Story. I was an early adopter of that film because I was a big fan of Jean Shepherd, whose stories were the basis of the film's plot (Jean was also a ham radio operator). I saw the film when it came out in 1983 and I recommended it to all my friends, but they looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.

The film also has a femulating scene when the main character, Ralphie, has to try on the Christmas present his Aunt Clara sewed for him. Problem is that Aunt Clara thinks that Ralphie is a girl and her Christmas gift is a girly bunny outfit. (I should be so lucky!)

I want to wish all my readers and contributors a very Merry Mary Christmas!

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

A couple in their Christmas outfits (Source: Pinterest)

and a Happy New Year!

Someday Funnies

Wearing Missoni (Source: Intermix)

Professional femulator Arturo Galster impersonating Patsy Cline

Party Notes

Here are some comments regarding the company Christmas party I attended on Thursday.

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All my previous femulations among my co-workers was with blonde hairdos, so when I showed up as a brunette on Thursday, some people did not recognize me.

While standing in line for the buffet, the co-worker in front of me remarked that she had no idea who I was because I looked so different as a brunette. She added that I looked gorgeous as a brunette.

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Although I had a great time celebrating the holidays with my former co-workers, it was also a little depressing to hear the news I missed during the past year. One co-worker's son committed suicide, another co-worker was diagnosed with colon cancer, and the company is being sold (again), which may result in my division disappearing.

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Good news is that I reached my weight loss goal this week. Bad news is that I now have a closet full of shoes that no longer fit. I had no idea that losing weight would result in reducing my shoe size as well as my dress size.

I plan to go through my collection and see what fits and what doesn't fit. Every cloud has a silver lining, so I assume I will also find shoes that were too small six months ago that now fit.

I discovered my shrinking foot problem when I tried on the Nine West metallic platform pumps a few days before wearing them out. They were very loose and after a few steps, I would lose one shoe or the other.

Being a stubborn fashionista, I was determined to wear those shoes with my new dress to the Christmas party, so I inserted heel liners in each shoe. The liners helped and I did not lose a shoe throughout the day, but often I had to clench my foot when it felt like a shoe was not going my way. So they are destined for the "do not fit" division of my shoe wardrobe.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Alan Sues femulates Jo Anne Worley on television's Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In.

Company Christmas Party

Thursday, I attended my former employer's Christmas luncheon party.

I wore the Julia Jordan gunmetal fit-and-flare dress, Dress Barn off-black pin-dot tights and Nine West metallic platform pumps. Instead of accessorizing with silver jewelry as I originally planned, my wife suggested I wear something colorful for the holidays, so I wore a red necklace and red earrings.

As I began to fill my old tired-looking black handbag, my daughter gave me an early Christmas present: a red Kate Spade handbag! I was so surprised and happy with her generous gift that I almost started to cry, but I held back my tears so as not to ruin my makeup.

I left the house and drove to the banquet hall hosting the luncheon. Usually I wear my heels when I drive, but the platform pumps are about a half-inch higher than my usual footwear and that half-inch or so made it difficult to manipulate the three pedals under the dashboard, so I wore flats to drive and switched to heels when I arrived at the banquet hall.

I entered the hall and when I checked my coat, the three women staffing the front of the hall said they loved my outfit. One said she wanted to buy shoes like mine.

I found a seat at a table with my former co-workers and it was just like last year's Christmas luncheon when I wrote, "It was as if I showed up in boy mode." Folks greeted and chatted with me like old times. The fact that I was presenting as a woman made no difference.

Reflecting on what I wrote last year "...as if I showed up in boy mode," I realize now that it did not matter if I showed up in boy mode or girl mode. Rather it mattered that I showed up in Stan mode. In a dress or slacks, I am the same person that my former co-workers knew for 20 years and I think most of them were glad to know me just as I was glad to know them.

Wearing Unique Vintage (Source: Unique Vintage)

Joe Regalbuto femulates in a 1990 episode of television's The Love Boat.

Party Time

My very sparkly outfit!

Today, I will attend my former employer's Christmas luncheon.

I retired in the summer of 2017, but was invited back to the 2017 Christmas luncheon. I dressed in a very sparkly outfit befitting the woman I am and it left no doubts in my co-workers' minds that I was trans-something. (Showing up at work dressed as an office girl the previous five Halloweens put those doubts in their minds in the first place.)

This year, the only surprise will be that I show up (for those who did not know I was invited). No one will be surprised how I will be dressed.

Thanks to your input, I decided to wear the Julia Jordan gunmetal fit-and-flare dress, Dress Barn off-black pin-dot tights and Nine West metallic platform pumps ("Outfit #2" in my "For the Holidays" post). I will accessorize with silver jewelry and perhaps a colorful scarf. Outerwear is dependent on the weather, but if the the "partly sunny 43 °F" forecast holds, I will probably wear my purple swing coat.

I am so looking forward to the luncheon and as usual, you can expect a full report in the days after.

Wearing Intermix (Source: Intermix)

The "Professor" (Russell Johnson) asks "Mary Ann" (Dawn Wells) if he passes as a woman in a 1967 episode of Gilligan's Island.

It's the Pits

Back in August, I purchased a Philips Norelco Bodygroomer. Sunday morning, while using the bodygroomer, I used it to shave something I have previously avoided: my armpits.

In the past, I tried using my rotary head electric razor to shave my armpits. It removed the hair, but left a nasty itchy rash that lasted for days. Having learned my lesson, I used a manual razor with a shaving gel to shave my pits after that bad experience.

When I used the bodygroomer to shave on Sunday, I decided to try it on my armpit hair as an experiment. Surprisingly, it removed all the hair, but it did not irritate the skin.

I will never use my rotary head electric razor again in that neck of the woods, but I now have two shaving options to do the job..

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Soldiers femulating USO canteen girls in the 1943 film This Is the Army.

Mothers and Daughters

Undressing on Saturday, I noticed that one of the hooks on my Rago long line bra was ready to escape from its moorings ("My bra's not too tight – my boobs are too big"). So I got out my sewing kit and fixed the problem.

While I was sewing my bra, I thought about how my mother taught me sewing basics when I was a youngster and wondered how many mothers teach their sons how to sew?

You may recall that one time my mother gave me a makeover when she misinterpreted my feeble clown makeup for a failed attempt at girl makeup.

There were other clues during my youth that convinced me that my mother had an inkling that I might be boarding the good ship Lollipop in the future. So like any good mother, she was just preparing her daughter for womanhood when she gave me sewing and makeup lessons.

(Thanks, Mom!)

I Resemble That Remark Dept.

Actress Sandra Bullock on why high heels don't faze her, "I think it's my mother's gene because she did everything in high heels." (Source: Parade)

Wearing Nine West (Source: Nine West)

Bob Denver femulates in a 1967 episode of Gilligan's Island.