Transitioning

In response to my standing offer to answer anything you ask me, Julie Shaw wrote the following.

I'm getting tired of coming up with answers to "well meaning" people asking me when I'm going to start transitioning. I don't WANT to transition. I'm a heterosexual male-to-female crossdresser and have NO desire to change that.

My question for you is "how would you communicate this to those sisters on social media who all but berate me for not being true to yourself." I have run out of words.

It seems to me (with emphasis on "to me") that the meaning of "transition" has changed over time.

In olden days when I still lived in a closet, transition meant that you took hormones, had surgery and did all that the law allowed to officially change your name and sex designation.

Today, the definition of "transition" is a lot looser. You don't have to take hormones and/or you don't have to have surgery and/or you don't have to legally change your name or sex designation. You don't even have to live full-time in your trans gender.

So I guess I transitioned some time ago and didn't even know it!

At Fantasia Fair in 2014, I attended Natasha Wilkie's presentation "Planning Your Transition." The most important thing I took out of the presentation was that you do it at your own pace... a pace that you are comfortable with.

As the presentation ended, Natasha left us with a metaphor... Transition is like riding a train. You can get off at any stop and you can get back on the train whenever you wish and in some cases, you can go back to a previous stop.

So when quizzed about when am I going to transition, I can honestly say I have transitioned already.

Wearing Boohoo (Source: Boohoo)

Homer Simpson in drag on the Werking Mom episode (11/18/18) of The Simpsons.

Barbie Fashions for Real Dolls

Remember playing with Barbie dolls when you were a young girl?

I did not own a Barbie doll, but my sister did and occasionally, I would spend some girl-time playing with my sister's dolls. As a budding transvestite, I once dressed her Ken doll in Barbie's clothes. But just like in the real world, Barbie's clothes did not quite fit right on Ken, so I abandoned crossdressing Ken and stuck to dressing Barbie while dreaming about dressing myself in her high fashions.

Turns out, I can now dress myself in Barbie's haute couture. According to Parade, "Barbie’s celebrating the big 6-0 next year with a collaboration available now: Barbie x Unique Vintage, a new apparel line turning iconic 1960s Barbie outfits into real women’s clothing."

Even better news: Unique Vintage's Barbie line is available in larger sizes for girls like us. Also, Unique Vintage offers other retro style clothing from the 1920's to the 1970's with many items available in plus sizes. And for you California gurls, you can sashay down to their brick and mortar store in Burbank.

Personally, I think the Unique Vintage line of Barbie apparel looks nicer than the original Barbie clothing. And I hope to find out for myself as soon as I can make up my mind which Barbie outfit to purchase.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

The always lovely Hannah McKnight

Someday Funnies

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

A womanless beauty pageant's "Best Smile"

Awareness, indeed!

This is Transgender Awareness Week.

The Week concludes with Transgender Day of Remembrance  (TDOR) on Tuesday, November 20, when we remember our trans brothers and sisters who died because they were trans and did not pretend they were something else.

I discovered that TDOR events are scheduled all over the calendar because TDOR falls during Thanksgiving week this year and some of the people who might normally attend, will not be available. For example, some colleges and universities are on vacation next week, so they have either scheduled a TDOR event this week or simply cancelled their TDOR event this year.

Getting back to Transgender Awareness Week, the GLAAD Trans Week webpage states that the Week is intended "to help raise the visibility of transgender and gender non-conforming people, and address the issues the community faces."

Over the years, I think I have done my share of making civilians aware of transgender people. It was actually kind of easy once I overcame my fear of mixing it up with civilians. Once I found out that I had nothing to fear except fear itself, I loved going out and finding new venues in which to strut my stuff as a woman, trans or otherwise.

It was "easy" because almost all of my friends and acquaintances, who knew the male me accepted the female me.

My former co-workers knew the male me long before they were introduced to the female me and things did not change when they were made aware that I was trans; I was the same old Stan, but with an improved fashion sense.

Strangers were almost as easy. I assume that I passed some of the time because no one pays much attention to old women like me, so old transwomen can fly under the radar and not be closely scrutinized.

On the other hand, I also assume that some civilians suspected that I was a trans, but they did not make an issue of it. The worst experience was the use of wrong pronouns, but I can live with that especially in the cases when the person using the wrong pronoun corrected himself/herself.

Doing outreach at colleges and universities was different because going in, the students knew we were trans, so there was no fooling them. On the other hand, I think we probably enlightened some of the students. How many of them expected over-the-top drag queens to show up and were surprised when we appeared just like other civilians? Awareness, indeed!

Wearing Madeleine (Source: Madeleine)

I found this before and after photos to be fascinating. (Source: Pinterest)

199

I planned to finish a post I started yesterday and post it today, but something surprising happened that trumps that unfinished post.

I got on the bathroom scale this morning and for the first time in my adult life, I did not weigh 200 or more pounds! When I saw "199" displayed on the scale, it looked so odd that I thought the scale had erred, so I got off and back on the scale again fully expecting it to read 200-something, but it displayed 199 again!

I have been trying to get under 200 like forever and I came close a few times, but breads and sweets always got in the way. I think breads more than sweets was the deal breaker because I don't really eat a lot of sweets and as soon as I cut out my daily dosage of bread three weeks ago, I started dropping weight... not dramatically, but slowly and at a steady pace.

Wow! I am a happy girl!

Wearing SheIn (Source: SheIn)

Actor William Phipps' test shots for his femulation in the 1951 film No Questions Asked

Out of the Wardrobe

Most of you are probably familiar with the song "Lola" by The Kinks. It is one of the most famous songs about femulating. But did you know that The Kinks also sung another song about femulating. Titled "Out of the Wardrobe," it was released on The Kinks 1978 album Misfits, eight years after Lola was released as a single. Here are the lyrics to "Out of the Wardrobe."

Has anybody here seen a chick called Dick
He looks real burly but, he's really hip
He's six feet tall and his arms are all brown and hairy

Well, he married Betty Lou back in '65
When you had to be butch to survive
But lately he's been looking at his wife with mixed emotions
You see, he's not a common place closet queen
He shouldn't be hidden, he should be seen
Cause when he puts on that dress
He looks like a princess

The day he came out of the wardrobe
Betty Lou got quite a surprise
She didn't know whether she should get angry or not bat an eye
She really couldn't call up her mother
Mama would positively die
Should she go or stay or should she try to get a trial separation

You see, he's not a faggot as you might suppose
He just feels restricted in conventional clothes
Cause when he puts on that dress
He feels like a princess

He's not a dandy, he's only living out a fantasy
He's not a pansy, he's only being what he wants to be
Now his life is rearranged and he's grateful for the change
He's out of the wardrobe and he's got no regrets

Betty Lou didn't know what to do at first
But she's learning how to cope at last
She's got the best of both worlds
And she's really in a state of elation
She says it helps their relationship
She says a change is as good as a rest
And their friends finally coming 'round to their way of thinking
She wears the trousers and smokes the pipe
And he washes up
She helps him wipe
Cause when he puts on that dress
He looks like a princess

He's out of the wardrobe and he's feeling alright
He's out of the wardrobe and he's feeling satisfied
Now it's farewell to the past
The secret's out at last
He's out of the wardrobe and now he's got no regrets

Out of the Wardrobe lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Femulate reader and ham radio sister Peggy Sue

All Dressed Up, But...

Shopping this time of year, I often encounter a dress for sale that would be perfect to wear to a holiday party. And I often buy what I find with the hope that I will have the occasion to wear it.

Want to know how many sparkly dresses are hanging in my closet that I have never worn? They are to-die-for dresses and I am dying to wear them if only I get invited to a holiday party.

I did get invited to my former employer's Christmas luncheon/party last year where I did dress pretty, but now that I left the building over a year and a half ago, I doubt I will get invited back this year.

And so it goes!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

My 2017 holiday luncheon outfit.

Someday Funnies

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

Dick Shawn femulates in a 1967 episode of television's The Lucy Show.

I Voted Tuesday

I voted on Tuesday and most of the candidates I voted for won. One exception was my local state representative who was running for the state senate. I wrote about him two weeks ago. He is an advocate of anti-LGBT and anti-women legislation.

I had high hopes that he would lose this time around because there were letters to the editor in the local newspaper decrying his legislative agenda. Never saw that before, but he handily beat the candidate who ran against him.

On the positive side, he probably won’t be able to do much damage because the opposition party won big this year and they will keep him in check.

I love houndstooth and I love this outfit. (Source: Pinterest)

Young men wait their turn to strut their stuff in a beauty pageant. (Source: Starla)

Bucket List Redux

Four years ago, I created a transwoman bucket list, that is, things to do in your life as a woman. Readers suggested additions and I made some additions, too.

Heather recently emailed me the list with the items that she did do, didn't do and did not want to do, so noted. She also had a bunch of additions.

Her email motivated me to update the my list and post it here. [A checkmark (✓) indicates an item I accomplished; X indicates an item I am not interested in accomplishing.]

• Appear in the media ✓
• Attend a black-tie event ✓
• Attend a cocktail party ✓
• Attend a school reunion ✓
• Attend a wedding ✓
• Attend female-only/oriented events ✓
• Check in/out of a hotel ✓
• Come out to everyone
• Compete in a womanless beauty pageant
• Dance ✓
• Dress en femme more often than not... ultimately 24/7
• Drive a car ✓
• Drive cross-country ✓
• Flirt
• Get a bra fitting without breast forms ✓
• Get a bridegown fitting
• Get a corset fitting ✓
• Get a driver’s license
• Get a girdle fitting ✓
• Get a makeover ✓
• Get a manicure and pedicure
• Get a tattoo(s) X
• Get a wig fitting ✓
• Get breast augmentation X
• Get castrated X
• Get ears pierced
• Get hormone therapy X
• Get other piercings (other than ear piercing) X
• Get rid of my varicose veins ✓
• Girls' night out with genetic females ✓
• Go on a date
• Go out to eat ✓
• Go to a casino ✓
• Go to a concert
• Go to a hair salon to get a feminine hairdo
• Go to a movie ✓
• Go to a public beach
• Go to a support group meeting ✓
• Go to a non-transgender convention ✓
• Go to a transgender convention ✓
• Go to church ✓
• Go to Diva Las Vegas X
• Go to Fantasia Fair ✓
• Go to the mall ✓
• Go to the polls to vote
• Be a juror
• Go to the theater ✓
• Go to work ✓
• Go to work daily, not only on Halloween
• Grow my hair long
• Kiss ✓
• Live full-time for an extended period of time ✓
• Live full-time 24/7
• Make love
• Make-out
• Model in a fashion show ✓
• Perform on stage
• Permanent facial and body hair removal
• Pluck my eyebrows ✓
• Public speaking ✓
• Shop for a dress and try it on in the store’s changing room ✓
• Shop for groceries ✓
• Shop for shoes ✓
• Sing ✓
• Speak with a convincing feminine voice
• Take a continuing education class  
• Take cooking classes
• Take sewing classes
• Travel by air
• Travel internationally
• Tuck ✓
• Undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) X
• Use public transportation (taxi, bus, rail) ✓
• Use the ladies' restroom ✓
• Wear a bikini in public
• Wear a bra and breastforms 24/7
• Wear a one-piece swimsuit in public ✓
• Wear fingernail polish in public ✓
• Wear toenail polish in public ✓
• Write a book about femulating ✓

Your additions are welcome.

Wearing Alexis mini-dress (Source: Moda Operandi)

Simon Cuz, male womenswear model

The Brows

Under the category "Something New I Learned Today" is this short article from StyleCaster.com: The Best Eyebrow Shapes to Flatter Your Face.

I trimmed, plucked and shaped my eyebrows years ago without any consideration as to the best eyebrow shape for my face (who knew?). Lucky girl that I am (not), my trimming, plucking and shaping matched what the StyleCaster article recommended for my oval face, so I am good to go.

By the way, early on I hesitated doing much with my brows fearing that civilians might wonder what was that big guy doing with girly eyebrows. I cleaned up the strays, but not much else and nobody noticed. Emboldened, I began plucking and shaping my brows and still nobody noticed.

One day, I realized that the eyeglasses I wore in boy mode hid what was going on. So even more emboldened, I completely feminized my eyebrows and have maintained girly brows ever since. And no one ever noticed or at least, no one ever mentioned it. On the other hand, my hairdresser trims strays without asking, so somebody did notice.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

This is Mindy's favorite Halloween photo. It represents a remembrance of her Mom, Dorothy. Mindy wrote, "It was personally so much fun for me getting my makeup done at MAC. You are an inspiration to me and others. Thanks for the courage."