Bucket List Redux

Four years ago, I created a transwoman bucket list, that is, things to do in your life as a woman. Readers suggested additions and I made some additions, too.

Heather recently emailed me the list with the items that she did do, didn't do and did not want to do, so noted. She also had a bunch of additions.

Her email motivated me to update the my list and post it here. [A checkmark (✓) indicates an item I accomplished; X indicates an item I am not interested in accomplishing.]

• Appear in the media ✓
• Attend a black-tie event ✓
• Attend a cocktail party ✓
• Attend a school reunion ✓
• Attend a wedding ✓
• Attend female-only/oriented events ✓
• Check in/out of a hotel ✓
• Come out to everyone
• Compete in a womanless beauty pageant
• Dance ✓
• Dress en femme more often than not... ultimately 24/7
• Drive a car ✓
• Drive cross-country ✓
• Flirt
• Get a bra fitting without breast forms ✓
• Get a bridegown fitting
• Get a corset fitting ✓
• Get a driver’s license
• Get a girdle fitting ✓
• Get a makeover ✓
• Get a manicure and pedicure
• Get a tattoo(s) X
• Get a wig fitting ✓
• Get breast augmentation X
• Get castrated X
• Get ears pierced
• Get hormone therapy X
• Get other piercings (other than ear piercing) X
• Get rid of my varicose veins ✓
• Girls' night out with genetic females ✓
• Go on a date
• Go out to eat ✓
• Go to a casino ✓
• Go to a concert
• Go to a hair salon to get a feminine hairdo
• Go to a movie ✓
• Go to a public beach
• Go to a support group meeting ✓
• Go to a non-transgender convention ✓
• Go to a transgender convention ✓
• Go to church ✓
• Go to Diva Las Vegas X
• Go to Fantasia Fair ✓
• Go to the mall ✓
• Go to the polls to vote
• Be a juror
• Go to the theater ✓
• Go to work ✓
• Go to work daily, not only on Halloween
• Grow my hair long
• Kiss ✓
• Live full-time for an extended period of time ✓
• Live full-time 24/7
• Make love
• Make-out
• Model in a fashion show ✓
• Perform on stage
• Permanent facial and body hair removal
• Pluck my eyebrows ✓
• Public speaking ✓
• Shop for a dress and try it on in the store’s changing room ✓
• Shop for groceries ✓
• Shop for shoes ✓
• Sing ✓
• Speak with a convincing feminine voice
• Take a continuing education class  
• Take cooking classes
• Take sewing classes
• Travel by air
• Travel internationally
• Tuck ✓
• Undergo Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) X
• Use public transportation (taxi, bus, rail) ✓
• Use the ladies' restroom ✓
• Wear a bikini in public
• Wear a bra and breastforms 24/7
• Wear a one-piece swimsuit in public ✓
• Wear fingernail polish in public ✓
• Wear toenail polish in public ✓
• Write a book about femulating ✓

Your additions are welcome.

Wearing Alexis mini-dress (Source: Moda Operandi)

Simon Cuz, male womenswear model

The Brows

Under the category "Something New I Learned Today" is this short article from StyleCaster.com: The Best Eyebrow Shapes to Flatter Your Face.

I trimmed, plucked and shaped my eyebrows years ago without any consideration as to the best eyebrow shape for my face (who knew?). Lucky girl that I am (not), my trimming, plucking and shaping matched what the StyleCaster article recommended for my oval face, so I am good to go.

By the way, early on I hesitated doing much with my brows fearing that civilians might wonder what was that big guy doing with girly eyebrows. I cleaned up the strays, but not much else and nobody noticed. Emboldened, I began plucking and shaping my brows and still nobody noticed.

One day, I realized that the eyeglasses I wore in boy mode hid what was going on. So even more emboldened, I completely feminized my eyebrows and have maintained girly brows ever since. And no one ever noticed or at least, no one ever mentioned it. On the other hand, my hairdresser trims strays without asking, so somebody did notice.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

This is Mindy's favorite Halloween photo. It represents a remembrance of her Mom, Dorothy. Mindy wrote, "It was personally so much fun for me getting my makeup done at MAC. You are an inspiration to me and others. Thanks for the courage."

Monday Meanderings

Shoe Horse Dept.

Some may call me a "clothes horse" and I won't deny it, but when it comes to shoes, I plead guilty to being a "shoe horse." I stopped counting, but I own well over a hundred pairs of women's shoes. On the other hand (or should I say "other foot"), I own about a half-dozen pairs of men's shoes.

Anyway, I absolutely fell in love with this pair of pumps that I saw in the daily email ad from Nine West. And it comes in my size! And with the online discount, I can save 30% off the list price. But I need another pair of shoes like I need another hole in my head and I am trying to resist buying them.

Be strong, Stana, be strong.

Promises Made, Promises Broken Dept.

In last Wednesday's post, I promised to catch up with answering my mail. Stuff kept happening and I broke my promise, but I hope to catch up before this post appears. 

Tooting My Own Horn Dept.

Actually, Joey tooted about me and the blog yesterday and I am just passing it along to you in case you missed it. (Thank you for the kind words, Joey!)

Vote Early and Often Dept.

Voting en femme is on my bucket list. Can't do tomorrow, but someday...

Anyway, be sure to vote tomorrow!

Wearing Ann Taylor (Source: Ann Taylor)

Tina, not out but dressed for Halloween 2017
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

Halloween Redux

I subscribe to GoComics, which sends me a daily email of comic strips that I like to read. Some are current (Dick Tracy) and some are vintage (Nancy).

One strip I read is The Meaning of Lila, which isn't exactly vintage, but isn't current either – it ran for nine years (2003-2012). For the past few days, the strip had a Halloween theme with Lila and her friend Boyd attending a Halloween party. Here is the strip I received on Friday:

I thought it was interesting in that Friday's strip addressed the issue of girls like us dressing as convincing women on Halloween and as a result, bringing up the question of our sexuality among the civilians.

It certainly has happened to me.

I recall attending a Halloween party at law school en femme. A classmate also attended en femme. His costume was a joke (big party balloon breasts, fright wig, no makeup, etc.), whereas my costume was up to my usual standards of trying to be as convincing as possible.

The partygoers reacted accordingly. Whereas they joked and made rude comments about my classmate's costume, the same people reacted differently to my costume. Most people did not say anything; they just stared at me, seemed to be in awe and were speechless.

One friend did say that he did not realize how feminine my male speech and mannerisms were until I dressed as a woman and now my appearance matched my personality!

Also, I had to fight off the advances of one of the band members who wanted to have his way with me. Not sure if he was a transvestite chaser or he thought I was a cisgender woman, but either way, it was my first encounter with a male admirer and it sure made me think about my sexuality.

Wearing Alexis strapless linen romper (Source: Moda Operandi)

Rachel shopping for that perfect Halloween costume.
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

Trick or Treat

We usually don't get many Halloween trick or treaters. We live in the woods on a dead end off another dead end, the walk from the street to the house is long and the kids in the neighborhood have grown too old to trick or treat. Halloween 2016, we had four kids, 2017, we had none.

Yesterday, I thought we were going to have a shut out two years in a row — 7:30 PM and no kids and then the doorbell rang. I answered the door and found two girls dressed as cheerleaders. I guessed that they were middle-school age — on the cusp of being too old to trick or treat. They were both very pretty, but when in unison they said, "Trick or treat" I realized that the pretty girls were actually boys!

Great femulations!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Betty belly-dancing for Halloween.

Stuff Happens

Happy Halloween!

This is the first Halloween in awhile that I have not dressed pretty for the occasion. But, as they say, "stuff happens." Things have been VERY hectic around here the past few days and I have had almost zero time for anything related to femulating. I have not even had time to answer my mail, but I hope to catch up with that by the end of the day.

So I apologize to my readers who show up here every day to find something fresh (pun intended) only to find Monday's post at the top of the page.

I love this outfit! (Found it on Pinterest.)

Didi commented on her Halloween costume, "Got a ton of smiles as Harley Quinn, even from my wife."

!!!!

Flu-Like Symptoms

Throughout my adult life, I never had the flu and never bothered getting a flu shot.

Last winter, I caught the flu for the first time and when the symptoms peaked on a Friday night, my daughter took me to the ER. The hospital sent me home with a prescription and I recovered quickly. However, with people my age dropping like flies all around me from the flu, I promised myself that I would get a flu shot this fall.

I got a flu shot last week and a few days later, I began to feel lousy.

I felt so lousy that I skipped two Halloween parties, thus missing an opportunity to wear the new costume that I assembled for the holiday. So I packed the costume away for next year and so it goes.

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Joey's favorite Halloween picture is possibly the only Halloween picture of him crossdressed when he volunteered to work in a store on Halloween 2010. You can read all about it here on Joey's blog.
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

Someday Funnies

Devil Girl Randy at her support group's Halloween party in 2015
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

Leaf it to me

Last year, the fall leaf count on my little acre was 16,730,421. This year, the leaf count will probably be about the same because the tree count did not change.

I go out twice a week to deal with the fall. My fallen leaf weapons include a rake, an electric handheld blower and a gas-powered wheeled blower.

The handheld blower has a narrow concentrated field of blow, whereas the wheeled blower has a wider field of blow. So I first use the handheld to move leaves that are stuck in nooks and crannies and then I use the wheeled blower to move leaves to the leaf hills and ridges in the woods that surround my property. (I avoid using the rake if at all possible.)

Depending on how thorough I am, it takes 90 minutes to two hours to do the job. Add another 30 minutes if I wear heels instead of flats.

Wearing Metrostyle (Source: Metrostyle)

Julie Shaw's favorite Halloween costume was magical!
(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

Kate Bornstein vs. Gender Bullies

This is a rare World Series Edition of Femulate because I am writing it while watching the World Series.

Kate Bornstein vs. Gender Bullies

Author, playwright, performance artist and gender theorist Kate Bornstein wrote on "Why the Gender Bullies Can’t Win," an essay that appears in the current issue of Rolling Stone.

She wrote, "It isn’t going to be easy. It may take a while. So we keep resisting. I’m 70 years old, and I’ve been resisting gender bullying from the day I was told I had to be a boy. I’m still alive, and joyously living the gender of my choice. We all can do that if we do it together with the kindness, compassion, and justice we all deserve."

I urge you to read her entire essay. After all the transphobic flak we have been experiencing lately, I felt encouraged after reading her words.

And go Red Sox!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

This is the outfit Kerry plans to wear on Halloween. "I'm to old to trick or treat, but a stroll through the mall would be just as fun. The killer heels I'm wearing killed my feet after two hours. Have fun on Halloween."

(Send me a photo of your all-time favorite Halloween femulation and I will post it here, too.)

Local War on Transgenders

At least one candidate for office in Connecticut is on the wrong side of the War on Transgenders: Rob Sampson who is running for State Senator from my district, Connecticut State Senate District 16, which includes the towns of Prospect, Southington, Wolcott, the north end of Cheshire and the east end of Waterbury (see the map).

Sampson is a four-term State Representative representing the 80th State House District. He is trying to jump to the Senate now that his fellow traveler, Senator Joe Markley, is running for Lieutenant Governor.

Sampson has a long record of introducing legislation and voting for legislation that negatively affects his transgender and LGB constituents.

Vickie Nardello for State Senate

His House Bill (HB) 5193 stated that “health insurance policies delivered, issued for delivery, renewed, amended or continued in this state shall not be required to provide coverage for gender reassignment surgery or related surgical expenses.”

He voted against HB 6695, which banned the controversial practice of using therapy to alter a young person's sexual orientation or gender identity.

He voted against HB 6599, which prohibited discrimination based on gender identity or expression.

Also, Sampson has consistently voted against women's rights legislation.

If you live in Connecticut State Senate District 16, I strongly urge you to vote for Vickie Nardello for State Senate and send Rob Sampson packing.

Wearing Bebe (Source: Bebe)

Despicable Administration Eyes Defining Transgender Out of Existence

According to the Sunday New York Times, The Despicable/Trump Administration "is considering narrowly defining gender as a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth, the most drastic move yet in a governmentwide effort to roll back recognition and protections of transgender people under federal civil rights law."

The Department of Health and Human Services, which is spearheading this effort, argued "that key government agencies needed to adopt an explicit and uniform definition of gender as determined 'on a biological basis that is clear, grounded in science, objective and administrable.'"

That is a laughable argument in light of the anti-scientific, anti-intellectual stance of the Despicables.