RAM

My RAM is not what it used to be.

When I used the "Before and After" image in the Femulator slot of Wednesday's post, I thought that the femulator looked familiar, but I could not place her.

On Monday, Nikki commented thusly, "The femulator in question is Lt. Colonel Bryan/Bree Fram, an out and visible member of the USAF."

Suddenly, my RAM was refreshed. Not only did I recognize Bree, but I recalled that she had written here on five occasions (in 2012, 2014 and 2015):

👠 Bree Femulates in the UK – Part One, Two and Three

👠 Bree’s Favorite Photo (of Bree!)

👠 US Military in Transition

And so it goes.

Wearing Topshop jacket and skirt and Manila Grace sandals (Source: ShopStyle)

Poster from the 1970 film The Christine Jorgensen Story

Gender Neutral Dining

The concept of gender-neutral dining is simple: help customers feel more comfortable by refraining from labeling them. For non-binary and trans diners especially, being addressed as "sir" or "ma’am" can be highly uncomfortable and jarring, which is why some restaurants are eliminating terms like "ladies and gentlemen" from their vocabulary. Another thing they’ve gotten rid of? Ladies first—the entire tradition of taking orders from and serving, well, ladies first. (distilled from PureWow)

I get it, but I love being addressed as "ma'am," or even better, "miss."

Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Blue is for boys.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Veronica Beard (Source: Veronica Beard)

Femulating at a Russian drag ball, circa 1920

When Wigs Were Wigs

I bought my first wig from Frederick's of Hollywood. How about you?

(Source: Pinterest)

Veit Alex on the red carpet

Do blondes have more fun?

In response to my Ask Me Anything post, Pricilla sent me the following e-mail:

Hi Stana,

I have wondered why you chose to change your hair color from Blonde to Brown?? Don't Blondes have more fun!!!

You continue to look great.

Hugs,

Pricilla

Thank you for the question and the kind words!

I changed my hair color because I needed a change. (Isn't it a woman's prerogative to change her hair color?)

When I began seriously dressing as a woman, that is, not for a Halloween costume, I usually wore an red wig. Although my natural hair color was brown, I wore red because my parents always claimed that I was born a redhead and remained a redhead during my early years. So when I was choosing a wig color, I figured red might work since I started here as a redhead. Turned out that I liked myself as a redhead and wore various shades of red for years.

I finally went over to the light side in 2006 after hosting a support group meeting at a wig store (Tonkin's in Waterbury). As the hostess, I brought the snacks, played mother hen and had no intention of buying a new wig.

When the proprietor, Kathy Tonkin was finished bewigging the other girls, she said to me, "Your turn."

I thought, "What the heck" and told Kathy to work her magic on me.

Minutes later, she fitted a short blond wig on my head. When I looked in the mirror, I loved what I saw and I became a blonde.

I have been a blonde for the past 12 years... different shades of blonde, different hair styles, but always blonde. But I was getting a little bored with being a blonde and decided to try something different.

And so it goes.

Wearing Tibi blazer and skirt, L'Agence Daniella cami, Lente Danse bag (Source: ShopStyle.com)

Before and After (Source: Pinterest)

If the Shoe Fits

I learned long ago that women's shoe sizes are all over the map. Sizes not only vary between shoe manufacturers, but the shoe sizes from the same manufacturer may also vary.

That being said, the best way to find shoes that fit is to go to a shoe store and try on the shoes in person.

That being said, sometimes you cannot go to a shoe store and have to buy shoes online size unseen. Such is the case with my most recent shoe purchases.

Recently, I had a hankering for a pair of gold high heel pumps and JustFab had just what I needed at a sales price of $21. JustFab is an online store with no brick and mortar presence, so I could not try on the shoe before purchasing it. I ordered a pair in my size (12, the largest size JustFab offers) and crossed my fingers until USPS delivered.

I also had a hankering for white ankle boots with a kitten heel and Payless had just what I needed at a sales price of $18. Payless has many brick and mortar stores in my neck of the woods, but checking their website, I could not find a local store that had the boots in my size. I ordered a pair in my size online and crossed my fingers until FedEx delivered.

USPS and FedEx delivered with different results.

JustFab's size 12 high heels were too small. I managed to squeeze my feet into the shoes, but the fit was so tight that there was no way I could walk in them comfortably for any length of time. USPS will return my shoes to JustFab for a refund.

Payless' size 12 boots fit perfectly. Not too loose and not too tight — they were just right!

And so it goes.

Update: I forgot to mention that JustFab shoes run small, so if you are a size 12 like me, you will probably find JustFab's size 12's too small (and 12 is the largest size they offer).

Ask Me Anything Anytime

You readers have asked me some great questions that I will begin answering real soon now.

By the way, there is no time limit for submitting questions, so you can ask me anything anytime. I look forward to your queries.

Wearing New York and Company (Source: New York and Company)

Femulator, circa 1900

Someday Funnies

Jonna, Georgia, Paula and Rene

Wearing Tibi top, Veda skirt and Alexandre Birman boots (Source: Intermix)

Robert Wagner femulates in a 1982 episode of television's Hart to Hart.

Ask Me Anything

Don't be shy! This is your opportunity to ask me anything and I promise to respond honestly. However, I reserve the right to respond to snarky questions with snarky answers.

So, don't wait. Click on the "send me e-mail" link under my photo in the right column, and ask away.

Shorts are unisexual and can be worn in girl or boy mode (Source: Pinterest)

TNT Boys femulate Jessie J., Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj on Filipino tv's Your Face Sounds Familiar Kids.

Man of the House

Awhile back, I promoted a series of posts called "Ask Me Anything," in which I answered questions submitted by readers of the blog. Although I am always willing to answer readers' questions, I have not promoted that fact lately, so consider this post an invitation to ask me anything again.

To renew my invitation, I am rerunning the following Ask Me Anything questions about my relationship with my wife.

Emily: Are you the husband at home in a conventional role?

Yes, I am the “conventional” man of the house.

Dani: Assuming you and your wife still make love together, do you do it as a man and a woman? Or as two women?

Physically, as a man and a woman. Mentally, as a woman in my mind. I have no idea what is going on in my wife's mind.

Pat: Does your wife completely accept you as a femulator?

Rhonda: How much does your spouse accept Stana in her life?  In other words, does she go out with Stana, buy Stana gender appropriate gifts and do you (as Stana) and she socialize with other TG/CDs?

My wife accepts the fact that I am a femulator, but she does not embrace it completely. She does not go out with Stana, does not buy Stana gender-appropriate gifts and does not socialize with my trans acquaintances.

However, if she sees something trans-related in the newspaper or on television that she thinks might be of interest, she will call my attention to it. Also, whenever we go shopping, she encourages me to shop for Stana, too.

Rhonda: As a follow-on question, have you and she agreed on limits to Stana's activities? If so, please share.

We have not agreed to limits. In fact, we have never discussed limits, but I have put my own limits on Stana's activities; instead of being en femme full-time, I am en femme much less often.

Rhonda: Also, if so, does she waiver and occasionally want less Stana in your and her relationship?

My wife would be happy if Stana was completely eliminated from our lives.  

Lisa: I am wondering if it is concern for your entire family's feelings that motivates you not to go full time.

Absolutely. My wife married a man. I am committed to her and my marriage and try to fulfill that role as a husband as best as I can.

Lisa: I always put my wife and family first, so my second question is whether you think some TG people are being self-centered for failing to take into account the needs and feelings of their loved ones.

Again, absolutely. The spouse is often forgotten and left behind in the dust.

Fall fashions for femulating fellas (Source: Pinterest)

Noor Talbi

Boston Proper

A week ago, I asked about Boston Proper clothing. I wrote, "I am curious as to the fit and quality of their clothing. So if you have purchased anything from Boston Proper, would you mind commenting below or e-mailing me directly about your Boston Proper experience."

I received one response. Andee wrote, "...they have really nice clothes that seem to fit my petite wife better than they fit larger ladies like us. Even so I have a couple of summer dresses that work well but in a larger size compared to the size I buy from Dress Barn."

I loved the outfit appearing in the Femulate Her slot today and encouraged by Andee's words, I purchased the white turtleneck today. I was tempted to purchase the skirt, too, but its price and hemline were too high, so I passed on the skirt.

When the turtleneck arrives, I will report on its fit and quality.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Paolo Ballesteros femulates in the 2016 Filipino film Die Beautiful.

Future Dressing

What will life be like for us girls in 25 years? Here are my predictions for where we will be in the year 2043.

It will be completely acceptable for males to dress however they please. Just as it is acceptable for females to wear male clothing today, it will be acceptable for males to wear female clothing in 2043.

There will be different degrees of how males adopt womenswear. At one end of the spectrum are guys who may on occasion wear a macho skirt, a manly pair of high heels and a little foundation, while at the other end of the spectrum will be the "femmen" (you know who you are), who will dress in womenswear all of the time. And nobody will hassle anyone for what they wear except maybe scolding those fellows wearing white frocks after Labor Day.

There will no longer be women's and men's restrooms; there will just be restrooms.

Clothing stores will no longer segregate their wares between women and men or girls and boys. Instead, the stores will have adult, young adult, and children's clothing departments.

Sex reassignment surgery (SRS) will be very common in 25 years because folks will be able to get SRS on demand just like cosmetic surgery can be had on demand today. Folks with and without gender dysphoria will be able to change genders and the results will be more satisfactory because of advances in the surgical procedures.

All health insurance plans will cover gender-related procedures, either as basic coverage or as an option like some plans offer vision and dental coverage as an add-on expense today. For example, if you were contemplating SRS, you could opt for gender coverage and it would not be an expensive add-on because the procedure will be so common in 25 years.

By 2043, you will be able to live in whatever gender role you prefer. When someone asks a child, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" the anticipated answer will be "girl" or "boy" and not a career choice. Females can be as macho as they want to be and males can be as feminine as they want to be.

What a wonderful world it will be!

(Caveat Emptor: This is an update of a post I posted in the past.)

Wearing Joie (Source: Intermix)

Michael Baird (right) femulates in the St. Louis stage production of Devil Boys from Beyond.