Man of the House

Awhile back, I promoted a series of posts called "Ask Me Anything," in which I answered questions submitted by readers of the blog. Although I am always willing to answer readers' questions, I have not promoted that fact lately, so consider this post an invitation to ask me anything again.

To renew my invitation, I am rerunning the following Ask Me Anything questions about my relationship with my wife.

Emily: Are you the husband at home in a conventional role?

Yes, I am the “conventional” man of the house.

Dani: Assuming you and your wife still make love together, do you do it as a man and a woman? Or as two women?

Physically, as a man and a woman. Mentally, as a woman in my mind. I have no idea what is going on in my wife's mind.

Pat: Does your wife completely accept you as a femulator?

Rhonda: How much does your spouse accept Stana in her life?  In other words, does she go out with Stana, buy Stana gender appropriate gifts and do you (as Stana) and she socialize with other TG/CDs?

My wife accepts the fact that I am a femulator, but she does not embrace it completely. She does not go out with Stana, does not buy Stana gender-appropriate gifts and does not socialize with my trans acquaintances.

However, if she sees something trans-related in the newspaper or on television that she thinks might be of interest, she will call my attention to it. Also, whenever we go shopping, she encourages me to shop for Stana, too.

Rhonda: As a follow-on question, have you and she agreed on limits to Stana's activities? If so, please share.

We have not agreed to limits. In fact, we have never discussed limits, but I have put my own limits on Stana's activities; instead of being en femme full-time, I am en femme much less often.

Rhonda: Also, if so, does she waiver and occasionally want less Stana in your and her relationship?

My wife would be happy if Stana was completely eliminated from our lives.  

Lisa: I am wondering if it is concern for your entire family's feelings that motivates you not to go full time.

Absolutely. My wife married a man. I am committed to her and my marriage and try to fulfill that role as a husband as best as I can.

Lisa: I always put my wife and family first, so my second question is whether you think some TG people are being self-centered for failing to take into account the needs and feelings of their loved ones.

Again, absolutely. The spouse is often forgotten and left behind in the dust.

Fall fashions for femulating fellas (Source: Pinterest)

Noor Talbi

Boston Proper

A week ago, I asked about Boston Proper clothing. I wrote, "I am curious as to the fit and quality of their clothing. So if you have purchased anything from Boston Proper, would you mind commenting below or e-mailing me directly about your Boston Proper experience."

I received one response. Andee wrote, "...they have really nice clothes that seem to fit my petite wife better than they fit larger ladies like us. Even so I have a couple of summer dresses that work well but in a larger size compared to the size I buy from Dress Barn."

I loved the outfit appearing in the Femulate Her slot today and encouraged by Andee's words, I purchased the white turtleneck today. I was tempted to purchase the skirt, too, but its price and hemline were too high, so I passed on the skirt.

When the turtleneck arrives, I will report on its fit and quality.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Paolo Ballesteros femulates in the 2016 Filipino film Die Beautiful.

Future Dressing

What will life be like for us girls in 25 years? Here are my predictions for where we will be in the year 2043.

It will be completely acceptable for males to dress however they please. Just as it is acceptable for females to wear male clothing today, it will be acceptable for males to wear female clothing in 2043.

There will be different degrees of how males adopt womenswear. At one end of the spectrum are guys who may on occasion wear a macho skirt, a manly pair of high heels and a little foundation, while at the other end of the spectrum will be the "femmen" (you know who you are), who will dress in womenswear all of the time. And nobody will hassle anyone for what they wear except maybe scolding those fellows wearing white frocks after Labor Day.

There will no longer be women's and men's restrooms; there will just be restrooms.

Clothing stores will no longer segregate their wares between women and men or girls and boys. Instead, the stores will have adult, young adult, and children's clothing departments.

Sex reassignment surgery (SRS) will be very common in 25 years because folks will be able to get SRS on demand just like cosmetic surgery can be had on demand today. Folks with and without gender dysphoria will be able to change genders and the results will be more satisfactory because of advances in the surgical procedures.

All health insurance plans will cover gender-related procedures, either as basic coverage or as an option like some plans offer vision and dental coverage as an add-on expense today. For example, if you were contemplating SRS, you could opt for gender coverage and it would not be an expensive add-on because the procedure will be so common in 25 years.

By 2043, you will be able to live in whatever gender role you prefer. When someone asks a child, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" the anticipated answer will be "girl" or "boy" and not a career choice. Females can be as macho as they want to be and males can be as feminine as they want to be.

What a wonderful world it will be!

(Caveat Emptor: This is an update of a post I posted in the past.)

Wearing Joie (Source: Intermix)

Michael Baird (right) femulates in the St. Louis stage production of Devil Boys from Beyond.

Someday Funnies

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg (Source DVF.com)

Womanless beauty pageant winner and contestant (Source: Pinterest)

Did My Duty

Thursday evening, I called the court and a recorded announcement said that I did not have to appear for jury duty at Waterbury Superior Court this morning. That put an end to my plans to go to court as a woman. (The accompanying photo is the outfit I planned to wear for jury duty today.)

Anyway, according to the court's website, "If you are not required to appear, you have fulfilled your jury obligation for the court year in which you were summoned." So, I guess, I will have to wait 'til next year.

Meanwhile, my ham radio sister Stephanie sent me this link about what might have been... an article on the Alice in Genderland website about Dianna's experience serving as a juror en femme in California.

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg (Source DVF.com)

Eileen, Transvestia cover girl (1962)

Doing My Duty

Friday morning at 8:30 AM, I have to appear at the Waterbury Superior Court for jury duty maybe. I wrote "maybe" because I have to call the court after 5:30 PM today to find out whether I need to show up or not.

Over the years, I lost count how many times I have been summoned for jury duty. About 20 years ago, I actually was a juror in a civil case, but usually I just show up and hang out in the jury room with the other potential jurors waiting to be sent home when it is determined that the court no longer needs jurors that day.

Except for the potential boredom from hanging out in the jury room all day long, I don't mind jury duty. But just in case, I decided to spice things up this time and appear for jury duty presenting as a woman.

I checked the jury service guide that the court sent along with my summons and the only mention of clothing is "Use discretion in selecting your attire. Decorum is maintained in the courthouse; please dress accordingly."

I believe I can maintain decorum in my pink silk blouse, black pencil skirt and high heel pumps.

Wearing Derek Lam 10 Crosby shorts, Yuzefi bag and Alexander Wang shoes (Source: Intermix)

Yet another mirror selfie (Source: Pinterest)

Wednesday's Wash

The Despicable States of America Dept.

Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wyoming

What do these states have in common?

They are the 16 states that want the Supreme Court to okay anti-trans workplace discrimination.

How Christian of them.

How's It Fit in Boston Dept.

Like today, I often feature clothing from Boston Proper in the "Femulate Her" slot below. Yet, I have never purchased anything from Boston Proper.

I am curious as to the fit and quality of their clothing. So if you have purchased anything from Boston Proper, would you mind commenting below or e-mailing me directly about your Boston Proper experience.

What's Your Source Dept.

Occasionally, I receive inquiries concerning the images I use in the blog. If I remember a source, I mention it, but most of the time, I have no idea where I found the image.

I have been collecting these images for nearly 20 years and I have a pool of over 10,000 images to choose from, so there is no way I can remember all of their sources.

If I was more religious about it, I would carefully note the source of each image when I find it, but I am an agnostic in that regard.

And so it goes.  

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Jerzy Grzechnik femulates Florence and The Machine on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

Accessorizing Proportionally

Many of us are big gurls. Our height and/or weight and/or build approximates a typical male, rather than a typical female.

There are ways of reducing our size to more approximate a typical female. Losing weight and/or muscle mass is one way. Creating optical illusions with what we wear is another way – specifically, accessorizing in proportion to your size will create the illusion of reducing your size.

Wearing small jewelry and small handbags does not make you look petite. If anything, wearing small will make it more apparent that you are big.

On the other hand, if the size of your accessories are in proportion to your body size, there is no disconnect between those sizes and your size will less likely out yourself in the eyes of your beholders.

So if you are a big gurl, shop big and wear big when it comes to jewelry and handbags.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Pretty in pink

How I spent my summer vacation

Actually, I am on a permanent vacation, nevertheless, I set some goals for what I wanted to accomplish this summer.

Health-wise, I had a list of things to do before my former employer's health insurance coverage ended.

→ Go to my dentist for a check-up and cleaning

→ Go to my optometrist for a check-up

→ Go to my doctor for a check-up and to get referrals for a colonoscopy and for treatment of my varicose veins

Otherwise, I wanted to clean and organize our garage.

→ My dentist found one cavity. Got that fixed, so I am good to go tooth-wise.

→ My optometrist said my vision was unchanged; I did not need to change prescriptions, so I am good to go eye-wise.

→ My doctor gave me a clean bill of health and referrals for a colonoscopy and treatment of my varicose veins.

→ → My colonoscopy results were excellent (no polyps or cancer), so I am good to go when I have to go.

→ → My varicose veins were removed. One month later, my leg is still healing, but I should be good to go out in a skirt real soon now.

Cleaning and organizing the garage turned into a bigger project than I anticipated. The hot, humid weather has not helped. Although the house is air-conditioner, the garage is not and many days this summer, I only put in an hour or two out in the garage before throwing in the towel. But I am making progress and should be finished real soon now.

And so my summer vacation goes.

Wearing Hanes (Source: OneHanesPlace)

Terry, Transvestia cover girl (1961)

Someday Funnies

Love her shoes! 

Not your father's boys' night out