Someday Funnies

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg (Source DVF.com)

Womanless beauty pageant winner and contestant (Source: Pinterest)

Did My Duty

Thursday evening, I called the court and a recorded announcement said that I did not have to appear for jury duty at Waterbury Superior Court this morning. That put an end to my plans to go to court as a woman. (The accompanying photo is the outfit I planned to wear for jury duty today.)

Anyway, according to the court's website, "If you are not required to appear, you have fulfilled your jury obligation for the court year in which you were summoned." So, I guess, I will have to wait 'til next year.

Meanwhile, my ham radio sister Stephanie sent me this link about what might have been... an article on the Alice in Genderland website about Dianna's experience serving as a juror en femme in California.

Wearing Diane von Furstenberg (Source DVF.com)

Eileen, Transvestia cover girl (1962)

Doing My Duty

Friday morning at 8:30 AM, I have to appear at the Waterbury Superior Court for jury duty maybe. I wrote "maybe" because I have to call the court after 5:30 PM today to find out whether I need to show up or not.

Over the years, I lost count how many times I have been summoned for jury duty. About 20 years ago, I actually was a juror in a civil case, but usually I just show up and hang out in the jury room with the other potential jurors waiting to be sent home when it is determined that the court no longer needs jurors that day.

Except for the potential boredom from hanging out in the jury room all day long, I don't mind jury duty. But just in case, I decided to spice things up this time and appear for jury duty presenting as a woman.

I checked the jury service guide that the court sent along with my summons and the only mention of clothing is "Use discretion in selecting your attire. Decorum is maintained in the courthouse; please dress accordingly."

I believe I can maintain decorum in my pink silk blouse, black pencil skirt and high heel pumps.

Wearing Derek Lam 10 Crosby shorts, Yuzefi bag and Alexander Wang shoes (Source: Intermix)

Yet another mirror selfie (Source: Pinterest)

Wednesday's Wash

The Despicable States of America Dept.

Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, Wyoming

What do these states have in common?

They are the 16 states that want the Supreme Court to okay anti-trans workplace discrimination.

How Christian of them.

How's It Fit in Boston Dept.

Like today, I often feature clothing from Boston Proper in the "Femulate Her" slot below. Yet, I have never purchased anything from Boston Proper.

I am curious as to the fit and quality of their clothing. So if you have purchased anything from Boston Proper, would you mind commenting below or e-mailing me directly about your Boston Proper experience.

What's Your Source Dept.

Occasionally, I receive inquiries concerning the images I use in the blog. If I remember a source, I mention it, but most of the time, I have no idea where I found the image.

I have been collecting these images for nearly 20 years and I have a pool of over 10,000 images to choose from, so there is no way I can remember all of their sources.

If I was more religious about it, I would carefully note the source of each image when I find it, but I am an agnostic in that regard.

And so it goes.  

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Jerzy Grzechnik femulates Florence and The Machine on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo.

Accessorizing Proportionally

Many of us are big gurls. Our height and/or weight and/or build approximates a typical male, rather than a typical female.

There are ways of reducing our size to more approximate a typical female. Losing weight and/or muscle mass is one way. Creating optical illusions with what we wear is another way – specifically, accessorizing in proportion to your size will create the illusion of reducing your size.

Wearing small jewelry and small handbags does not make you look petite. If anything, wearing small will make it more apparent that you are big.

On the other hand, if the size of your accessories are in proportion to your body size, there is no disconnect between those sizes and your size will less likely out yourself in the eyes of your beholders.

So if you are a big gurl, shop big and wear big when it comes to jewelry and handbags.

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Pretty in pink

How I spent my summer vacation

Actually, I am on a permanent vacation, nevertheless, I set some goals for what I wanted to accomplish this summer.

Health-wise, I had a list of things to do before my former employer's health insurance coverage ended.

→ Go to my dentist for a check-up and cleaning

→ Go to my optometrist for a check-up

→ Go to my doctor for a check-up and to get referrals for a colonoscopy and for treatment of my varicose veins

Otherwise, I wanted to clean and organize our garage.

→ My dentist found one cavity. Got that fixed, so I am good to go tooth-wise.

→ My optometrist said my vision was unchanged; I did not need to change prescriptions, so I am good to go eye-wise.

→ My doctor gave me a clean bill of health and referrals for a colonoscopy and treatment of my varicose veins.

→ → My colonoscopy results were excellent (no polyps or cancer), so I am good to go when I have to go.

→ → My varicose veins were removed. One month later, my leg is still healing, but I should be good to go out in a skirt real soon now.

Cleaning and organizing the garage turned into a bigger project than I anticipated. The hot, humid weather has not helped. Although the house is air-conditioner, the garage is not and many days this summer, I only put in an hour or two out in the garage before throwing in the towel. But I am making progress and should be finished real soon now.

And so my summer vacation goes.

Wearing Hanes (Source: OneHanesPlace)

Terry, Transvestia cover girl (1961)

Someday Funnies

Love her shoes! 

Not your father's boys' night out

Fall Fever

I am not a summer person. I don't like the heat, hate humidity more, and dread summerwear because the clothes of summer are too revealing.

It is not that I mind showing a little skin, but it requires a lot of hair removal. For example, when I wear a skimpy bikini to the beach, it requires hours of depilation.

I prefer fall. The clothes are less revealing and require less prep in the hair removal department.

Sans hurricanes, the weather is beautiful here in September. It is cool enough to femulate without worrying about wig, makeup or foundation garment perspiration, yet it is warm enough to go out without a coat.

Also, the fall fashions are my favorites. Don't you love the outfit pictured right; I wish I had the youth to wear it!

Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Michael Rosenbaum femulates in the 2002 film Sorority Boys.

Magnetic Eyelashes Reviewed

After mentioning my recent purchases here on Monday, readers asked me to review the items I bought, that is, the Verfanny Magnetic Eyelashes and Philips Norelco Bodygroomer.

Verfanny Magnetic Eyelashes

Before I review the magnetic eyelashes, here are brief descriptions of how they work and how to apply them.

How Magnetic Eyelashes Work: For each eye, there are two strips of lashes, a strip that goes underneath the top eyelash and a strip that goes on top of the top eyelashes. Both strips have small magnets to mate the top and bottom lashes together.

How to Apply Magnetic Eyelashes: 

Step 1: Open your eye and place the bottom lash underneath your natural top lash. 

Step 2: Push the bottom lash into place, as close to the lash line as possible, and close your eye shut. 

Step 3: Place the upper lash on top of your natural lash, and it will mate with the bottom lash.

Maybe I was over-anxious, but the first time I opened the box containing the lashes, I broke the hinges of the box. (Not an auspicious beginning!) So now I use a rubber band to hold the box's cover in place.

There were no instructions accompanying the lashes, so I looked online. Some instructions said to put the top lash into place first, while others (like the instructions above) said to put the bottom lash into place first.

I tried putting the top lash into position first and had no success using that method. There is nothing holding the top lash in place except gravity, so it would move or fall off while I retrieved the bottom lash and attempted to mate it with the top lash.

Putting the bottom lash in place first worked much better and after three or four attempts, I got the hang of it and was able to apply the lashes successfully.

The lashes are long and I had to trim about an eighth of an inch off each lash to match my natural eyelash length.

Some readers wondered if the lashes will work if you have short natural lashes. In my opinion, I don't think the length of your natural eyelashes will make a difference. The magnets are on the lash line, so the lashes mate there, not beyond. So unless you have no natural lashes at all, I think the magnetic lashes will work with any length of natural lashes.

By the way, the lashes looked fabulous! They make a big difference in the way my eyes appear; there is no way I could achieve their length and fullness with mascara.

Philips Norelco Bodygroomer

To tell you the truth, I have not used the Bodygroomer long enough to write an honest review, but I can give you my first impressions.

I have owned Philips and Norelco electric razors in the past and the Bodygroomer is similar to them. It seems to be a well-constructed quality product that should last for years just like the electric razors.

To make sure the Bodgroomer was not DOA, I did charge its batteries and used it briefly to shave my wrists. So far, so good. After I use it more fully (especially to remove my back hair),  I will write a full review.

Wearing Dress Bar (Source: Dress Barn)

Jason Isaacs and Michael Rosenbaum femulate in the 2001 film Sweet November.

Purchased

Last week, I bought two items that I hope will improve femulating.

Verfanny Magnetic Eyelashes

After years of applying glue-on false eyelashes unsuccessfully, magnetic false eyelashes are a miracle! Put one magnetic eyelash strip over your natural eyelashes, then position the second magnetic eyelash strip under your natural eyelashes and as you do, the magnets in the eyelashes attract each other and snap together. No glue, no muss, no mess!

The set I purchased includes two sets of lashes: one for a subtle look and a second for a fuller glamorous look.

Philips Norelco Bodygroomer

I already own an electric razor and a back hair shaver. I use the electric razor to shave all the body parts I can reach and the back hair shaver for the area of my back that I cannot reach with the electric razor. They both do an adequate job, but I could not resist purchasing the bodygroomer because it was an Amazon Deal of the Day and by applying my Amazon Prime Rewards points, it cost only $11.43!

Whereas my electric razor is intended to shave my beard, the bodygroomer is intended to save my body hair, so it does a better job body hair-wise than my electric razor. It is also easier to use than my back hair shaver because the bodygroomer's back attachment provides a more solid feel for navigating it around my back, whereas the back hair shaver is lightweight and navigating my back with it can be adventurous. The bodygroomer also provides a smoother and more thorough shave than the back hair shaver.  

Wearing Madeleine (Source: Madeleine)

Ivory Marshette, professional femulator, circa 1983