Overpacking

I always overpack.

It has not been an issue so far because airlines have not been involved in my travels, but multi-day trips involve packing my Subaru to the brim.

I took eight pieces of luggage to Provincetown for my first trip to Fantasia Fair for an eight-day stay.

My Hamvention trips usually involve four or five pieces of luggage for a four-day stay.

The only time I economized was for my four-day trip to New York City. I only had three pieces of luggage because I was traveling by train.

I always bring stuff that I never use: extra dresses, extra hosiery, extra bras, extra panties, extra shoes, extra nails, extra jewelry, extra etcetera.

Usually, I plan ahead with a spreadsheet and know what I am going to wear for each day of my trip, but I still overpack. One piece of luggage that I know I should leave home is my makeup box. It is a large tackle box that I bought at Walmart that is chock full of makeup. Who needs 30 shades of lipstick for a four-day trip

One time when I was moving my luggage into my hotel room. I was in boy mode carrying my makeup/tackle box and as I passed two guys in the hall, one said to the other, "He's going fishing!"

A week from now, I will be packing for my four-day stay in Ohio to attend Hamvention. I hope I can do it with three pieces of luggage. I'll let you know how I do.

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

The cast of the Polish production of Casa Valentina.

Get Femulate by E-Mail

Ten days ago, I wrote here that you can receive Femulate by e-mail by clicking on the Get Femulate by E-Mail link at the top of the right-hand column.

I received a pertinent comment that I want to pass on to readers attempting to subscribe: If you don't see the subscription request confirmation in your e-mail Inbox, look for it in your Spam folder.

Keep on High Heelin’

In my youth, I felt that I was not dressed unless I was wearing high heels. I wore high heels as often as possible and the higher the better.

I was following my mother's lead (like mother, like son) ― she always wore heels. So as her female son/male daughter, I always wore high heels, too.

In my maturity, I know about the pitfalls of wearing high heels and I know that wearing high heels does not define you as a woman. Most women my age know better and shun heels, yet they are still women

Nevertheless, I still like to wear high heels and I usually do. Recalling that AARP commercial about a woman of a certain age who knows her way around miniskirts and can run in high heels always inspires me to keep on high heelin'.

But since my feet are not as pliable as they used to be, I have to search out the most comfortable heels if I plan to wear them for more than a few hours as a time. (Who What Wear has some good tips regarding "How to Stand in Heels for 8 Hours Without Killing Your Feet.")

I hope to be able to continue to wear high heels for a long time. I know I will try hard to do so. And maybe someday they'll say, "She died with her stilettos on."

Note 1: This post is an edited rerun of a post from 2015. 

Note 2: The accompanying photo is significant to me personally because the framed photo on the wall behind me is a photo of my mother.

All shapes and sizes (Source: JustFab)

All shapes and sizes (Source: Le Femme Finishing School)

Someday Funnies

"Imitate young girls" is the English translation of the caption of this 1930's comic postcard from France. A joke about gender stereotyping, the ironic message seems to be 'Boys, you're never too young to start wearing perfume and make-up.'

Wearing Zuhair Murad (Source: Zuhair Murad)

Before and after selfies

Act Naturally

Whenever I recount my biography (like at outreach), I usually mention that as a youngster, I participated in sports (baseball and football) and played "boy games" (cowboys, war, spacemen, etc.). I felt that I was a typical boy and I enjoyed doing "boy things," unlike many of my trans sisters, who as children, hated "boy things" and preferred "girl things."

I also mention in my bio that despite my participation and enjoyment of those boy things, other boys called me names like "sissy," "fairy," "faggot," etc., which indicated to me that I was not necessarily all the boy I thought I was.

This was not just a case of bullies using random offensive names to raise my ire. Even a few of my friends told me that I was not acting like a boy at a 100% level and that I should do something about it.

I wondered if there was something in my mannerisms or speech that caused their reaction? I was not intentionally acting or speaking in an affected manner. Rather, I was speaking and acting in my natural manner, which I did not feel was feminine.

The fact that even friends told me that something was amiss indicated that something really was amiss, but I was clueless. I had no idea what I had to do differently to be more boy-like. So, I continued acting the same way I always acted and if someone called me a name, I hit them with my purse.

Even in high school, college, and law school, I occasionally ran into guys, who commented on my particular flavor of masculinity, but I just shrugged them off and kept on truckin'. By then, I was crossdressing in secret and only coming out en femme for Halloween including an appearance en femme at a Halloween party in law school.

I will never forget a friend of mine at that party telling me that he never realized how feminine my speaking and mannerisms were until he saw me dressed as a woman. He indicated that my female costume was a perfect fit for my normal mannerisms and speech.

After mentioning this story at outreach one time, one of the students confirmed that my mannerisms were feminine and that my friends and acquaintances had been in the ballpark in their estimation of me.

Yet, nothing has changed. I still do not affect a feminine persona. I still act naturally and no differently whether in boy mode or girl mode.

I admit that I do try to walk more like a woman when I am en femme and I talk more softly when I femulate, but most of what you get is the genuine me. And I am not changing a thing.

Wearing Metrostyle (Source: Metrostyle)

Professional femulator Willie Manders poses for this postcard from the 1920's.

She comes on like a rose

What turned out to be a free recall of my Subaru to replace an airbag turned into an $850 bill!

I took the Subaru to my dealer Tuesday morning for the recall and an oil change and drove home in a loaner, a brand new Subaru Outback.

Later that afternoon, I got the call telling me that my car needed assorted work including a rear brake job. At first I balked at the potential $850 bill, but then I reconsidered since I have driven the car for over a year without any trouble nor maintenance. Also, I am facing a roadtrip to Ohio in two weeks, so I agreed to the work that was suggested.

Meanwhile, I literally drained the swamp on Friday. The west side of my property has a number of springs and the water runs downhill into a culvert that dumps it into a nearby brook. The primary path for the water was clogged with leaves and other debris, so instead of flowing away, a swamp was in the making. So I spent about an hour clearing the path and draining the swamp.

No good deed goes unpunished and I woke up Sunday morning to find my hands and arms blossoming with poison ivy. I applied apple cider vinegar to effectively stop the itching, but it did nothing for the spreading rash. So after I picked up my car at the Subaru dealer yesterday, I drove to the local hospital's walk-in clinic to deal with the poison ivy.

A PA confirmed that I had poison ivy and she prescribed Prednizone and Benadryl. I picked up the meds at my pharmacy, drove home and popped the pills.

About an hour later, I was on my way to Aldi and Stop & Shop to do the weekly grocery shopping, when the Bendryl kicked in and I started feeling very sleepy. As a result, what is normally a 90-minute grocery run took 2-1/2 hours because I was so out of it. Upon returning home, I unloaded the groceries and crashed.

Around 9:30 PM, I decided to turn in. Before going to bed, I went into the room where my radio shack is located to make sure everything was powered down. I could not resist listening to the radio before going to bed and as luck would have, radio conditions were very good (I could hear WJCC on 1700 kHz, which is located in Miami Springs, F-L-A, 1666 miles away!), but I was so exhausted that I shut down the shack and went to bed.

(Source: Bluefly)

Alex Newell

Overdressing

I am an overdresser.

There ― I admitted it. I got it off my chest and now I don't have to worry about people accusing me of being an "overdresser" because I have come out to the world about it.

It is hard to overdress when you attend a trans support group meeting; many of the attendees overdress because the meeting may be their only opportunity to dress at all, so they dress to kill.

That being said, when I attended trans support group meetings, I was usually the most overdressed girl at the meeting. Hands down. No question about it.

I carried on my overdressing when I began going out in public en femme. The woman in a cocktail dress and high heels shopping at Wal*Mart ― that was me. The woman in the sequin evening gown seated in the centerfield bleachers at Fenway Park ― that was me. The woman in the little black dress and pearls dining at Taco Bell ― you guessed it ― that was me, too.

At first, I worried about it because overdressing drew attention to me and by drawing attention to me, civilians might scrutinize me too closely and figure out that I was packing something extra underneath my periwinkle bridesmaid gown.

I sure did not want to out myself, so I began toning it down. But I soon found out that toned-down dressing was Boring with a capital B!

Blending in with all the other babes at Home Depot was just not my thing. I wanted to be outstanding in my field in heels, not flats.

So, I began overdressing again and I have never looked back because in the words of blogger Kate Fridkis, "Being overdressed is fun. You have to pull it off with confidence. You have to walk with your shoulders back, like you planned it. Like you're dressed up because you live a dramatic, impressive life. I mean, why not? Maybe you do."

Ms. Fridkis' "The Art of Overdressing" on The Huffington Post inspired this post and I urge you to go read it yourself; maybe it will inspire you to buy a red strapless dress to wear to the grocery store.

Wearing JustFab (Source: JustFab)

Austrian actors Oscar Sabo and Josefine Dora switched genders 100 years ago

A Fan Letter

Paul goes by the name of Paula and sends me infrequent fan letters. His/her most recent missive follows.

I am aware as much as anyone the nature of the fantasyland that crossdressers inhabit but one thing has always bewildered me; EVERY story of 'passing' involves women, never men. I gave up believing these stories years ago particularly when they included a picture which nearly always demonstrate that the ability to 'pass' is extremely limited. One has to accept that 'Fictionmania' is not the only place for fantasy. Can you recommend a supplier of these mirrors which enable one to believe that this so often unattractive male is is transmuted into a beautiful sexy woman. There must be one hell of a lot sold judging by the pictures you post.

I have other "fans" who send similar letters and comments. They claim to be femulators and are very judgmental of their femulating sisters.

Early on, these writers bothered me with their vitriol, but then it occurred to me that they were probably just jealous. When they compare the image of the man in a dress that they see in their mirror with what they see in this blog, their jealousy turns to rage and it ends up in my in-box.

And so it goes.

By the way, Paula, I have had many passing encounters with males. They clearly treated me as a woman by calling me "Ma'am" or "Miss," holding doors open for me, flirting with me and even propositioning me. They have also spoken to me in a condescending or oversimplified fashion (as if was a bimbo) and called me a "dyke," "lipstick lesbian" and "Amazon," which are affirming in a negative sort of way.

And so it goes again.        

Wearing Moda Operandi (Source: Moda Operandi)

Nastja Sherer and friend (Source: flickr)

Someday Funnies

Wearing Paige (Source: Paige)

Michael femulates Michelle. Read all about it here. (Thank you Leon for this femulation)

No Show

I am very sorry and very disappointed, but I will not be able to present and attend the Transgender Lives Conference on Saturday. It is due to a personal family matter that I cannot work around. I was hoping to work it out in time to attend the Conference, but it was not meant to be.

Again, I am very sorry, but this bump in the road was unavoidable.

Too Tall, No Way

By Carollyn Olson

For many crossdressers, being tall is a major concern and problem. But, it shouldn’t be.

I‘ve stopped counting the number of times I’ve been told by those reading my series of Tricks of The Trade crossdressing advice books, “I can't crossdress because I'm too tall." My response, to put it bluntly, is… (fill in the blank)!!!

Height has very little to do with crossdressing!!! Just look around!!! Are you blind or have a bag over your head??? How can you miss seeing tall, beautiful women??? They are everywhere!!! And you can be a tall and beautiful woman as well with a little confidence and fashion sense.

Women are as pretty as ever. They’re also taller and their shoe, dress, skirt and jeans/slacks sizes are bigger. The average height and weight for a woman has increased by one inch to 5-foot-4 and has gone from 150 to 166 pounds in the last 20 years, according to www.livestrong.com.

When I started crossdressing 35 years ago, the Internet was non-existent. In the department stores, I could not find decent fashions, let alone shoes that fit. Women’s dress sizes seemed to stop at size 12-14 before one had to go in to the Large Woman or Maternity section and nice heels over size 10 were nearly impossible to find. I managed somehow, but girls today are so fortunate with almost all their needs available in the stores and on the Internet.

I stand close to 6-3 in heels and weigh about 175 pounds and I have never had a negative comment regarding my height or my body shape. Why? It’s probably due to my “learned” feminine style and fashion sense, body language and mannerisms. If you carry yourself properly, nobody will even think of you as anything other than a woman.

Recently, I was standing in a crowded concessions line at a public event and one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever set my eyes upon walked up behind me. She had shoulder-length blond hair and was wearing a lovely long sweater and skinny jeans tucked inside her 4-inch heel boots. She stood at least 6-7, maybe 6-8. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a few people “gawk” at us as we chatted (maybe they thought we were female basketball players or at least she was), but nobody made a disparaging comment. Why would they? We were just two tall women chatting while awaiting our orders. What may have been “rare” or “abnormal” in the past is now “the norm.”

I have a number of crossdressing friends, among them Michele Popkov, Jamie Grae and Jennifer Williams, who are three to five inches taller than me. Height has never stopped any of them from being out and about anytime they wish.

Confidence is the key to crossdressing no matter how tall you are. Locking yourself in the closet because you are “too tall” is a huge mistake. The fear of being too tall can be overcome by finding clothes that are appropriate to your body type and taking that first step out the door. So, don’t delay… go for it!

Wearing Hanes (Source: OneHanesPlace.com)

The always lovely Carollyn Olson, the author of today's post

Three Pieces for Thursday

Book Report Dept.

A lot of water has gone under the bridge since Susan Stryker wrote Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution in 2008, so she has updated her work. The second edition of Stryker's book  includes all that has happened since 2008 and as you know, a lot has happened in those intervening years.

In the Mail Dept.

Would you like to receive Femulate by e-mail? Just click on the Get Femulate by E-Mail link at the top of the right-hand column to subscribe to the blog. Or just click here!

Skirting the Issue Dept.

Have you ever wondered what is the most flattering skirt length for your height? Well I have the answer for you: an article from Who What Wear appropriately titled "The Most Flattering Skirts for Every Height" by Nicole Akhtarzad.

I won't keep you in suspense, so "as far as miniskirts go, if you’re on the taller side, the best type would be a classic straight-cut style. Rather than covering your waist, a classic style sits lower, so it offers more fabric while still showing off your legs."

Harry McEntire femulates in the 2012 British film Unconditional Love. View the film's trailer here and clips from the film here and here. (Thank you, Patty, for the heads-up about this film.)

Regrets

I am dubious of people who say that they have "no regrets." 

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and I admit that I have made choices and decisions that I regret.

In retrospect, I cannot believe how long I hid in the closet because I thought I was too big to present as a credible woman.

When I finally got out of the closet it was so anticlimactic that I was incredulous. I quickly learned that I either passed or that most civilians minded their own business when they saw a man dressed as a woman.

"Youth is wasted on the young" is so apropos in my case. I should have exited the closet and experienced the world as a woman much sooner. 

So do as I say, not as I did. Get out of the closet, grab your purse and take a walk on the female side of the street. You won't regret it.

Wearing Dress Barn (Source: Dress Barn)

Will the real girl please stand up.